Hey guys! So here's chapter ten. We've been having a lot of drama lately so I thought it was time for a nice cool down chapter. Good ol' calming dialogue to develop romantic relationship! Also this is a short chapter because my brain isn't working. Herp derp.

So if you guys didn't get the last chapter here we go: dark/lost woods represents Alfred's and Ivan's confusion and desperateness. The wolf is the spirit of the moon. Her appearance shows Ivan that he's got a friend again. So when they're in the forest lost in the darkness they can't get out alone. But, when they realize and accept each other's friendship the find their way out and find a badass field of sunflowers. Guess what that represents: Yep, it's love and happiness.

Not mine. Not true. Not a political statement. Russia's cool. Not based on people. Sorry for any offense.

Happy reading!

Pure Violet Is Killing Me

Chapter 10

Friends and Memories

…

Sun flowers. Beautiful, brilliant, vivid, magnificent, awe inspiring sunflowers.

They were everywhere. Like bright, shining stars they lit up the dark night. Just outside of this foggy and blurred wood, a brilliant field of sunflowers bloomed in the darkness. Somewhere, lost in the mountains, on the other side of a forest no one could understand, a hidden field of sunflowers lay.

The moon's light shone onto this impossible field, like a beacon, covering this sanctuary in its pale and gentle light. Sprouting from the ground these bright and shinning sunflowers stood as high as the trees. As the cold night wind blew, they swayed and danced as if they were alive.

Their hearts were pounding. Their breath was stolen by this incredible sight. They looked above them. Their faces were still wet from their tears, but the cool winter breeze brushed them away as the flowers swayed and stirred in the field. The clear dark blue sky above them bursted with light from the thousands of shimmering stars. It seemed that for every star that shone in the night sky a flower bloomed down on the earth, a reflection of the celestial beauty.

How this beautiful and seemingly mystical place could be just behind such a dark and wretched forest was beyond them. It was as if they had stumbled upon a hidden sanctuary, pure and untouched, meant only for them.

As they gazed on to this sight, their thoughts of fear and confusion ceased as their racing hearts pounded in their chests. Ivan stood there, his voice escaped from him, panting for air, his heart felt like it was about to burst from his chest. As he felt the wind blow across his face, and felt the moon's gentle light shining down on him, and felt Alfred's heart beat pulsing though his hand entwined in his, he felt so alive.

He was going to give up. He had lost all hope. He felt as if he had already failed and died. He felt like he was stumbling pointlessly through an inescapable maze. He had tried everything he could to save himself. But, he couldn't find his way out. He was afraid and lost.

But, then he came. Alfred came into his life and pulled him out of that maze. He had broken his mask and shown him how to smile. He gave him hope, true hope, and shouldered him while he cried.

Tears are a difficult burden to bear. They are proof of your sadness. It is so much easier to ignore sorrow, to lie to yourself, and turn a blind eye to despair. But now Ivan's wall that held his tears, and fears, and pain, had broken and all of it came flowing out of him. He had admitted to his regret. He never wanted to, he couldn't. Because if he did then he would be stuck with his sorrow, all alone to cope with it.

But that wasn't true. Next to him stood Alfred. His friend.

It was like a weight had been lifted off his soul. As he looked onto these beautiful, amazing, flowers he felt safe. And as he felt Alfred's pulse resonating from his hand to his own he felt happy.

Ivan looked to Alfred's captivated face and smiled.

"Alfred?" He asked, his sight fixed on Alfred's shining blue eyes.

"Yeah?" Alfred said, staring all the same.

"Thank you."

Alfred looked to Ivan in slight shock. What could he be thanking him for? "What? What for?" He said.

"For reminding me."

"What do you mean? For reminding you of what?" Alfred asked.

"That I can still love," Ivan whispered so quietly even he couldn't hear it.

But then Ivan looked up and faced Alfred. "I don't think I can let my… friend to stay living in the woods. Who knows? You might get stolen up by a wolf." Ivan said, a small smile blooming across his face.

…

Ivan opened the door to his home. He casually walked in, only leaving the door open for a few moments longer than usual so that Alfred could walk in behind him. Once Alfred was though he closed the door, sealing it shut.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Alfred whispered, still underneath his invisibility cloak. "I mean, are you sure no one can see me?"

Ivan chuckled lightly, "Yes Alfred my home is protected by a shield of my own making. It's completely sound proof, in a place which is unseen, and covered in a barrier that projects an image so that no one can look in. You're not the only one creating their own technology."

"So I can take this off?" Alfred asked, still whispering, "It's getting hot... and low on oxygen!"

Chuckling at Alfred's distress he said, "Yes, you can take it off! And you don't need to whisper, you know."

With that Alfred flung the sheet off, and gasping for air and pounding his chest to get his heart going. "Holy crap, that took forever!" Alfred flapped his hands in his face trying to get a cool breeze. "Hang on a sec," He said panting, his face red and sweating. "I'm dying!"

Ivan couldn't help but laugh. Alfred has acting like a complete buffoon and after such an intense scene they had shared. He seemed to be so care free after he had just witnessed Ivan fall apart. He had just saved Ivan's life and he acted like it was just another day on Earth. It truly baffled him.

"Okay," Alfred said after cooling off, "I'm good now!"

Alfred looked at Ivan slyly, "So," He said flashing a bright grin, "Do I get the grand tour or what?"

…

Alfred wanted to know every nook and cranny of Ivan's home. He wanted to know the history and stories behind each crack and dent. He was fascinated by every piece of furniture, every glass and spoon, every picture, every book, everything and anything.

So Ivan told him. He told him the story of when he was a boy and made his very first table and chair. He told him about that one time he fell asleep cooking dinner and it accidentally caught fire. He told him about his favorite books and showed him his favorite spot to read in. How he had met his favorite author just walking along the street one day and how they talked for hours standing in the road. And Ivan told him these stories with such joy.

Remembering every good memory and sharing it with someone who cared about him, it was something Ivan had never done before. It was nice. Remembering the small happy things in his life, and sharing them with someone who cared, it was cathartic in a way.

"There is always hope, no matter what. Even in the darkest of dark there is always a light. It might be hard to find, and sometimes it takes a while to form, but it will always be there to light your way."

"Alfred. You are that light. You brought me hope." Ivan thought as he told the tales of his life to the one who had saved it.

…

Ivan's home was amazing! Everything had a story, from the plates on the table to the moon shaped crack on the ceiling! Ivan was being so nice to him too, he had changed entirely! It was like he was a whole different person, the one Alfred saw through those stunning vibrant eyes. And Alfred loved it!

"This is the library. You'll be sleeping here." Ivan said stopping before a beautifully craved oak door. They were the most beautiful carvings Alfred had ever seen.

Sunflowers swaying under the night sky, a wolf howling at the moon its pack looking on from a distance, flowers branching off and incasing pictures of scenes, gently framing them in their embrace, a single flowing scarf connected each scene telling one huge, wonderful story. But before Alfred could say something Ivan opened the door and Alfred gasped.

Alfred looked around the room wide eyed. To his right bookshelves filled with books, old and beautiful ornaments, precious and personal keepsakes, and art cloaked the walls. The wallpaper was this antique golden and red, as the fireplace flickered the light danced off the walls like shimmering stars. On the back wall a beautiful window stood, revealing the icy white winter outside. Two mighty trees stood entwined in each other's branches, covered in shimmering silver snow. On the left wall lay an oak desk covered in ancient books and papers. To the desk's left the old brick fireplace warmed the room. There was a large plush chair angled to face the fire place along with a large and inviting couch. They both were red with gold trimming, a perfect match for each other.

"Wow!" Alfred said running into the room with excitement, "This is the best library I've ever seen!"

"Yes," Ivan said, his head perking up, coming out from deep thought, "This is the heart of the house."

"Thank you Ivan, it's beautiful." Just as the words had slipped through his lips Alfred stiffed. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to call you by your human name! It just slipped out –"

"Alfred." Ivan said calmly, turning to Alfred with ease. "It's okay. I don't mind if you call me back that name."

Alfred looked to Ivan in shock. There was no way he could allow him to call him by his human name! He was so adamant about him only using that name if necessary. He held his human name in such high regard. He didn't let anyone use that name. Like it was a part of himself that he wanted to hide, from everyone else. As if to keep it untouched and untainted.

"Don't you dare call me by my human name! You have no right!"

Alfred's head crashed back into the tree where Ivan held him captive. He growled in rage as his eyes flared.

"Are you sure?" Alfred asked with hesitation.

Ivan paused.

His human name was immensely important to him. It was his humanity. That was the part of him that was still innocent. That part of him had nothing to do with his nation, with the death, the hate, the pain. It was the part of him that never killed, that never hurt, that never died. It was the part of himself that he could still love, the part of him that needed no forgiveness. Ivan was kind. Ivan was loving. Ivan was gentle. Ivan was warm, and forgiving, and happy. Ivan was loved. He was Ivan. Not a raging tyrant who killed the people he treasured so dearly. Not the hate filled maniac who cared for only himself. No.

He was Ivan.

And Alfred understood that. Alfred knew that he was human. He knew that Ivan had fought so much to protect the people he loved. He knew how much Ivan hurt, how much love he gave that was never returned. He understood that, and accepted him, and forgave him.

And then he did the impossible. He saved him. Alfred came into his life and lifted Ivan out of the hole he couldn't get out of alone, Ivan resisting at every turn. He rejected Alfred at first. He didn't trust him. He hated him. But even though he pushed him away Alfred didn't give up. He knew Ivan needed his help. He knew it was the right thing to do, so he didn't give up no matter what. He got Ivan to smile again, to laugh again, to hope again, to love again.

He was more than deserving of calling him by his human name.

"Yes." Ivan said with the most sureness he had ever had, "I trust you."

Alfred looked to Ivan in both shock and gratitude.

"Thank you." He said, a shining smile blooming across his face.

"Let me get some food. I'm sure you're hungry." Ivan said a shy smile tugging at his lips. "Sit down, make yourself at home." And with that Ivan left the room and headed toward the kitchen, leaving Alfred to get acclimated with the house.

Now as Ivan walked through the house alone the halls seemed to be longer. Ivan couldn't help but think about what Alfred had said to him.

"It's time that you forgive yourself. There is nothing more to atone for; there never has been. You are truly a kind and beautiful person. You have saved so many lives. And so many people love you." Could that be true? Did Alfred really believe that? Could he really be forgiven… and loved?

"You have saved so many. So please Ivan, let me save you." A warm joyous feeling enveloped him. It was the same feeling he had when he was with his first friend, that beautiful white wolf. It was love.

"What is this feeling?" Ivan asked himself as he held his chest, "This is the same feeling I had with her. And now when I think about everything that Alfred has done for me, the things he's said to me, I feel it deep inside my heart. I feel that sense of love…" Before Ivan could expand on these thoughts he was already opening the door to the library with food and drink in hand. His body acting on its own even though his mind was somewhere completely else.

…

Alfred was wrapped in a warm blanket, the soft light of the fireplace flickered gently as snow fell outside. He smelled the steaming hot chocolate cupped in his hands. As he sipped the warming drink he looked around the room once again. The dim and changing light of the fireplace was so comforting, like the whole room was encasing him in a warm blanket.

Ivan was sitting in the chair opposite Alfred, drinking tea and reading his favorite book while basking in the light of the fire. They had been sitting there for quite some time in their quiet sanctuary, until a question poked at Alfred's mind.

"So tell me," Alfred said looking up from his mug, "What did you see last night that made you so frantic?"

"Honestly?" He asked laying back in his chair and looking into his tea.

Alfred nodded and Ivan sighed.

"I thought I saw an old friend." He said, his eyes closed and his voice quiet.

"An old friend?"

"Yes."

"Well, who was it?" Alfred asked, not satisfied with the less than detailed answers Ivan was giving.

Ivan sighed. "Alfred," He said turning his head away from his book and into Alfred's eyes, "I have trusted you with my true name. You do know how important that is to me, right?"

Alfred sat up. He knew what Ivan was serious. He knew how precious his name was to him. He had seen the scars on Ivan's neck. He had seen him defend his people no matter the cost. He had seen him break and fall into the very pits of despair. He saw the walls Ivan had hid behind his entire life fall apart and reveal who he really was. And Ivan and trusted him with that.

"Yes, I do." Alfred looked into Ivan's eyes; it was hard for him. He saw the anguish Ivan had to bear. He saw the regret and agony of a dying nation. Along with the kindness and love Ivan so desperately wanted to convey. It was all swirling inside his eyes.

"Promise not to laugh?" Ivan asked, catching Alfred off guard. He definitely hadn't expected him to say that.

"Of, course!" Alfred chuckled.

Ivan leaned back in his chair and tilted his head to face the ceiling. He didn't want to see Alfred's face when he told him. "A wolf."

"A… wolf?" Alfred said slowly, tilting his head to the side.

"Yes. The friend I thought I saw is a wolf." It must have sounded ridiculous, he knew.

Surely Alfred would think less of him now. His one friend a wolf? How pathetic, how sad. He'll probably laugh. Maybe he'll leave. Maybe this whole thing was a lie. Maybe Alfred didn't lo-

"That so cool!" Alfred said his face brightening in excitement, "My first best friend was a bunny. He was so fluffy! Guess his name! Go on, guess! Freedom! I know right? I even was awesome at naming when I was a kid! Ha ha ha!" Alfred laughed his loud, obnoxious, stupidly happy laugh.

And as Alfred laughed and smiled, Ivan realized it.

"Alfred, this feeling. I…"

To be continued…

Oh my god this chapter is so shit. And holy freaking crap nuggets this took me so long to get out! I'm sorry! But here it is, none the less. It's a short chapter, but a nice wind-down from last time at least.

Oh, yeah I almost forgot… So I wanted to let you guys know that chapters will be coming out a little slower from now on. I'm starting college so chapters will take longer to get out. But, worry not! I will get them out! Also next chapter will be a lot better than this. (Oh my god I hate it so much, shut up me!)

Remember that reviews really do make the writer happy. Thank you for reading!