Dear Lord Voldemort
I wrote this one, and standard disclaimers apply. DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND ANYONE!
Dear Lord Voldemort,
Are you related to Michael Jasckson?
Because you both have skin problems, nose problems, and like to touch little boys.
Sincerly,
Not-going-to-give-my-name-for-fear-that-you-will-hunt-me-down-and-kill-me.
SEND IN YOUR LETTERS!