Searing with anger…
That was an expression that Robin Locksley was getting very familiar with and as he opened the door of the hotel room he just got, jaw painfully clenched and lips set into a hard line that spoke volumes of his sour mood, he was trying his very best not to let that anger sprout out of him in huge waves.
It was hard, he wasn't going to lie about it and he was actually surprised at the auto-control he has inflicted upon himself because if there was something he really wanted in that moment was to release that anger, to take it out of his system so he could be done feeling like that.
He didn't like being in such an acrid demeanor as it just didn't feel quite like himself.
But it was what it was; yes, he was as angry as he has ever been and he was in all his rights to be so, but he was also aware that he definitely shouldn't take his anger out on the woman walking behind him and that was why he was refraining.
Sure, she was the reason why he was feeling like he was feeling in the first place but in all honesty, he had to admit that everything that was happening was because at some point he wasn't able to control his impulses when it came to her and now he had to sit and eat a banquet of consequences.
Not that he was justifying her, not at all. The sole memory of what she did to him was enough to set his blood to a boiling point and he was really, really mad at her.
She basically wanted to rob him out of the opportunity of knowing about his own daughter and that wasn't something that was easy for him to overlook. She hid from him during her entire pregnancy, she disappeared out of the map to give birth and if it wasn't because one good day he casually overheard a conversation that wasn't made for his ears, he would have never found out that she just had a daughter with him.
True, that the baby was his daughter wasn't exactly what he heard. Actually, what he heard has been more of a gossip kind of thing between Belle, who happened to be Regina's former assistant, and Snow.
He still didn't have the details all clear about how it was that Belle knew, but the fact was that she did and as it happened, he heard the woman mentioning it.
The newfound information had left him speechless and he remembered how he felt all the blood of his body draining down to his feet. It just took a couple of seconds for him to realize the meaning of it all, he felt it right in his gut right since that moment and when he did a mental countdown it all added up.
It was easy, last time he saw Regina has been the night they ended up sleeping together and since he was more than sure that they hadn't used any kind of protection the deduction was not hard to make. Yes, he pulled out just in time, but in the heat of the moment he went back in after he believed to be done.
Apparently he hadn't been done after all… and that little act could have been the big it.
So, if that was the case and if his calculation was on point, all that has been close to nine months ago so yes, the baby was his. It couldn't be any other way unless he missed something as essential as Regina being with someone else at the same time their more than screwed up affair took place and he was pretty sure that she wasn't. That only left him as a potential father and the fact that she didn't even bother to tell him left him both confused and angry.
Ever since that moment there has been an awfully bitter taste in his mouth that he hadn't been able to wash down because even though he knew she was angry about what he did to her and even when he went as far as understanding her, in his book keeping his daughter from him was taking things too far.
Maybe he saw it that way because he was a bit too naïve on her ways, but in his mind he couldn't understand how after the night they had she would pull something like that on him.
Call him stupid but before she sneaked out on him, he had seen that night as some kind of breakthrough because it has been the most honest thing they had done.
Now going back to that fateful night, he could say without a doubt that he enjoyed it a lot and what could he say? He was a man like any other and Regina… she was a gorgeous woman, imposing in some ways that could intimidate a lot of men and yes, being able to have her has been one hell of an experience. Her flesh underneath his touch, the taste of her in his mouth and her sultry way of talking to him in his ear were things he still remembered vividly.
That night there hadn't been any animosity or ill wills between them, just two beings acting on an attraction that has been brewing for some time.
There were no hidden agendas, it has been raw passion at it's finest. They gave unto each other with no inhibitions and he even saw it as some kind of a truce to cease hostility, the skin to skin contact a pact that couldn't be broken… so imagine his surprise when he woke up with her gone.
No, he didn't particularly like how they parted ways. He wasn't the type of man who favored hooking up just for the sake of it and well, apparently that was what it has been for her. They slept together and then she left for good, leaving him wondering what the hell happened and how screwed up everything was.
He had wanted to look for her, maybe even call her, but his pride didn't let him do it. His male ego has been fragile dealing with it so he decided to move on, he put all his focus on his son and his career and that was it.
Sure, every once in a while he thought about her and he wondered about what became of her, but even though she would sometimes invade his mind, he never had the guts to call her because really, she was the one who left and he didn't want to be the one bending backwards trying to fix things with her.
So he didn't call and because of that he didn't know anything about her for months, at least not until that day; the day he found out that she had a baby.
The rest was history, he managed to get the woman's address and now he was there, walking into a hotel room after spending the last three hours of his life between waiting for Regina to pack her things, driving to the airport and booking them into the next flight to back home.
Unfortunately, the departure wasn't until seven forty-five in the morning and since it was just after midnight, they had to wait.
Breathing in and exhaling through parted lips, Robin stepped into the room and turned on the lights, his head turning to the side so he could take a look at the woman who just walked in by him, heading straight to the bed so she could place the sleeping baby right in the middle of the mattress.
Once the baby was set, she stood by the bed, folded her arms to her chest and sighed. "Is this why you took her out of her crib in the middle of the night, so you could have her in this hotel room?" She asked, eyeing him defiantly.
As he stood by the door, Robin noticed that with her lips pursed petulantly and her eyes shooting poisonous darts directly at him, Regina was looking as mad as he was feeling.
Right in that moment, he wanted to tell her that if it wasn't for the fact that she hid the baby from him in the first place, he wouldn't be doing that. But he didn't say that; he didn't say anything because he knew that his words would only make things worse and that was the last thing they both needed.
So, biting hard on his tongue, he closed the door, walked in and put the baby's bag over the desk.
"Why do you want us to go with you?"
"I have a lawyer back home," He said in a hiss, walking closer until he was standing right in front of her.
At his words, she snorted bitterly and shook her head. "No, forget it. You are crazy if you think I'll let you take her away from me."
Swallowing down and meeting her icy-cold stare with one of his own, the tall man blinked slowly and tilted his head to the side.
Without responding, he watched her for a while, thinking that it was amazing how much animosity they still had. Theirs was a messed up relationship since the very beginning and apparently, the night they spent together did nothing to help matters.
"I don't want to take her away from you, Regina."
Pursing her lips without taking her eyes away from him, the brunette woman arched an eyebrow. She seemed a bit confused by what he said and for some reason that bothered him. "Then why are you taking me to a lawyer?"
"I want to inscribe her as my daughter. I'm going to assume you already have her birth certificate and that it doesn't say my name anywhere in the paper; I want to change that. I also want visitations and I want to take her home whenever I feel like it…"
Shaking her head no, Regina blinked a couple of times. "She's too little to be traveling back and forth."
Licking his upper front teeth, Robin eyed the former COO down. "I have rights, I just found out about her and I'm… I missed enough already as it is and I'm not willing to miss more just because you are still mad at me. I just want what's best for her."
Regina scoffed at that and rolled her eyes. "And how is taking her out in the middle of the night and across the country the best for her?"
"She's my daughter!"
Shrugging indifferently, she blew out a breath. "I'm not going with you, forget it."
"Of course you will." Robin said sure of himself. She was going with him even if he had to drag her to the plane and tie her down to her seat; even if he had to menace her once again with taking the baby away. "Look, I don't want to settle this in a tribunal so let's just…"
"Of course you do! You already put a lawyer on me."
"I'm not putting a lawyer on you." He said, trying to reason with her on good terms. "And I definitely don't want to take the baby from you; what I want is to settle this like it's supposed to be done. I get my rights and you'll get yours. This way you'll also get child support for the baby."
"She doesn't need your money; she's been doing fine, without you and she will continue to be so."
"For the love of God, Regina; why do you have to be so bloody stubborn?" He hissed not to wake the baby and then he chuckled. "You are acting as if I was the bad guy here and you know I'm not."
To that Regina said nothing and wanting to change the pace of their argument for the sake of their baby, he took a step closer to her and placed his hand to the back of her head.
She didn't protest the touch and sighing out in relief, Robin tilted her head up towards him.
Regina… she didn't know it but she was the woman that has taken all his sanity away. She had the ability of making him do the unimaginable and even though he didn't understand it, he hadn't been able to completely ban her from his thoughts.
"Look, I know you are still mad at me and I don't blame you. I was a jerk and I don't expect you to forgive me. And yeah, I'm mad at you for keeping this away from me… but now we have a child so why don't we try to get along and let the past stay in the past?"
Blinking, she chewed on her bottom lip. "I can't." There was no anger in her voice and her eyes softened.
Moved by a wild impulse, the blue eyed man took that opportunity to lean a bit closer and he just pressed his lips to hers. He didn't know why he did it, he just saw her so close and before he could think about it he was kissing her.
A long time had passed by since the last time he had kissed her and even though this was just a light touch of lips, he found that her lips were still as soft as he remembered.
And she wasn't pushing away. Sure, she wasn't pulling him closer or kissing him back but she wasn't pushing him off.
"Regina-" He whispered against her lips and breaking out of her trance, she moved her face from him and stepped back.
He watched as she turned around towards the bed to check on the baby. "We'll go with you. But this won't change anything between us. We'll get her last name changed and you'll get your visitations but that's it. She won't be traveling back and forth so if you want you want to see her, you'll have to come here until she's older. That's final and not debatable. Also, you kiss me once again and you will regret it more than anything."
Licking his lips and tasting her lips gloss on them, Robin nodded. "Alright, that's good… for now…"
XxXxXxX
Regina woke up to the distinct feeling that she was lost. It was a weird feeling, one that was very similar to the way she would wake up from a nightmare when she was a little girl. Heart beating hard and unsteadily against her ribs, sleepy eyes opening abruptly only to find darkness surrounding her and her body acting on an impulse and sitting upright over the bed.
It was as if her own mind had forced her out of her sleep to warn her that something was wrong… something that she still couldn't quite get… something that was missing.
Lifting her shaking hands up against her forehead, she realized that she was disoriented so running her fingers through her hair, she took a look around. By then her eyes were getting used to the darkness and while she looked around, only one thought started to dance in her mind.
She was not in the comforts of her own bedroom.
Blinking slowly and dropping her hand to her lap, she pursed her lips, her mind running without a steady course until she finally remembered the events of the previous night.
Robin has gone to her house; somehow he found out about the baby and he went straight to look for her. Back in her house, he basically forced her to go with him with the menace that he could take the baby away from her and finding herself between the blade and the wall, she had no choice but to accept.
Now she was in a hotel, waiting for a flight so they could go and do whatever it was that he wanted them to do.
Closing her fist around the blanket and her mood getting sour at the memory of everything her former employee had put her through, she turned to the side to check on her daughter.
Now that her mind was clear, she remembered that she had put the sleeping newborn by her side and right between a few pillows so she wouldn't roll over her.
She did it because there was no crib in the hotel to put her in, deeming that it was the safest way for them to spend the rest of the night.
But when she turned around, she didn't see her baby. The pillows were there and the pink blanket that has been covering was there, but not her daughter.
Swallowing down a gasp and feeling as if her chest constricted hard against her heart, Regina jumped to her feet. The first thought to hit her mind was that somehow her daughter fell off the bed, but when she walked around the queen size bed she didn't see her.
For a second she stood frozen, her complexion getting pale and her breathing stopping.
It was impossible for a newborn to roll over the pillows like that, so what if Robin took her away? What if he waited until she fell asleep to steal her baby and take off without her…
"No,"
Turning on bare feet towards the door and feeling desperation starting to consume her inside out, the dark haired woman walked out of the master bedroom. Her intention: finding Robin and her daughter even if she had to walk all the way across the country.
And by God that if he pulled that one on her she was going to kill him with her own hands.
Fortunately, she didn't have to take such a long walk nor did she have to plan on ways to kill him, because as soon as she stepped into the small living room of the junior suite Robin got for them, he saw them.
He was sitting over the sofa and Sofia, their daughter was peacefully sleeping against his chest.
Breathing out a sigh of relief but at the same time feeling a rush of anger run down her spine, Regina blinked rapidly and walked towards him.
"What do you think you are doing?" She hissed angrily, making him look up to her before she helped herself to take the baby away from him and into her arms.
Then, without even giving him time to reply, she turned around and walked back into the room.
She couldn't explain it, but as she hugged Sofia to her chest she felt the sudden urge to cry, hit him and tell him a thing or two before taking off never to be seen again.
"What's with you now?"
Breathing in and carefully placing the baby in the middle of the mattress with the pillows surrounding her, Regina wiped at her eyes and then turned to him. He was standing by the door, his tall figure blocking the way out.
Watching him made her feel even angrier and she had to walk close to him so her words wouldn't wake the baby up. "Don't you ever do that again, do you hear me? Never."
Lifting his hands in the air, he snorted. "Do what? Comfort my daughter and put her back to sleep so you could rest the whole night?" He asked a bit too loud and then remembering himself he took a deep breath and swallowed down. "She was starting to cry. I couldn't sleep so I heard her and because you were passed out I decided to take care of her myself."
"You should have waked me up." She said defiantly, her lips pursing and her eyes critically scanning him over. "I'm her mother and…"
"And I'm her father, so I think I should be able to put her back to sleep without you freaking the bloody hell out." He whispered angrily, interrupting her while folding his arms up to his chest.
"Her father," She said while nodding. "You are right you are her father, but up until last night you didn't even know about her so next time you feel like acting like a good father, wake me up so I can take good care of her instead."
"Well I didn't know about her because you made sure not to mention it to me. If it was up to you, I wouldn't even know right now."
"You know, I don't need to do this and I don't need to go to anywhere with you. I'm out."
With that said, Regina turned around; but before she could take a step away from him he grabbed her by the arm and forced her to face him.
"Are you going to punish me your whole life about what happened?" He asked, his tone serious as his eyes delved deep into hers.
"I'm not punishing you."
"Of course you are; I can't even hold her without you thinking that I will choke her or that I will drop her in her head."
Refusing to feel guilty over the fact that she thought the man kidnapped the baby earlier on, Regina closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Look, she's barely a week old and let's face it, you don't know anything about how to take care of her so of course I'm going to get worried. That she has your DNA doesn't mean that you will automatically know what she wants or needs."
"Yeah, I can get that that you are worried, but you seem to forget that I have a son so I do know how to take care of a baby. I also think to know you well enough to say that you were not worried, you were mad and it all goes back to what happened, to what I did."
Opening her eyes wide, Regina pushed the inside of her cheek with her tongue. "Okay, I'll say it. I'm still mad at you and that you apologized doesn't mean that I will all of a sudden forget what you did."
"Regina-"
"Save it, because quite honestly I don't want to hear it." She said closing her eyes once again and feeling tired of the whole thing already. She has spent too much of her time resenting him and she didn't want to waste another second on him.
"I won't save it; Look, I made a mistake and I know it. But if you would only-"
"Only what, forgive and forget? I can't do that. You played me for a fool and you did it knowing full well about the consequences." She scoffed. "Or was it that you believed I was going to find the whole thing cute and funny?"
Lowering his eyes, Robin shook his head and pursed his lips; however, he said nothing. He looked like a little kid being scolded and unable to help it, her mind went back to the night they spend together. She did however push that memory away as soon as it resurfaced.
"You say you made a mistake, well I did too. I trusted every word that you said to me and you took advantage of that, you played with me when I was most vulnerable and that's something I can't just forget."
Running a hand down his face, Robin blinked a few times before setting his eyes on hers. "If that's how you feel then why did you slept with me?"
Shrugging and making sure her face remained a stoic mask, she thought about it. There was no easy answer to that because she wasn't even sure why she went for it.
Because she wanted it? Because when he showed enough concern about her well being above knowing the whereabouts of his dog it made her feel something she hadn't feel in a long time? Because even though it has all been a lie she had felt good about her life when she though she was his wife? She didn't know… and because of that she decided to play it safe.
"I had an itch and you scratched it. It was nothing more than that. Another mistake I made but hey, that one is on me so don't sweat it."
Yes, a mistake, because even though she loved her daughter more than anything else in the world, she wasn't particularly proud about bringing a little person into this world in such a messed up situation. Besides by being with him she has showed him that she wasn't necessarily immune to him and she didn't want him having that on her.
Look at what happened earlier on, he kissed her and she did nothing to stop him. Sure, she didn't encourage him either but she didn't push him away like she knew she should.
"I never wanted us to end like this, with so much bitterness." He said, keeping his eyes on hers. "I really didn't."
To that, she stepped back. "Me neither, but it is what it is." Shrugging, she pushed the door close in his face and then turned around to rest her back against it.
For a while she remained like that, imagining him at the other side, pressing his forehead against the door as well.
"Me neither…" She whispered, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath…
TBC