A/n- I do not own Blood+.
As Saya, Hagi, David, and Lewis drove to wherever these 'French dudes that stole dad' as Kai explained earlier were, her cell began to go off. Hagi looked over at her with curious eyes.
"Hello?"
"SAYA! OH MY GOD! SAYA! GUESS WHAT?"
It was Mao again. Saya sighed heavily and rubbed her temples in irritation before replying. "WHAT Mao?"
"OHOHOHOHOHO! Okay, so you TOTTALLLLLY KNOW that I'm going out with Izanagi RIGHT!"
"No I didn-"
"-he is such a cutie! With his cinnamon coloured hair and his sexy toned abs. I JUST WANT TO LICK THEM!"
"Mao-"
"-and he is just SOOOOOOO HOT! OOOOOOOOOH! Saya you HAVE TO HEAR THIS!"
"Mao-"
"-okay, well when we were at the Korinza Mall, we saw this weird guy in the candle shoppe picking out blueberry candles."
"What did he look like?" Saya asked interestedly.
Mao hummed for a minute, trying to evaulate what she saw earlier. "Well...he had greyish hair and it was short. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt with tan shorts and would not stop talking! He just kept blabbing on and on to the cashier about nonsense! It's so rude and disrespectful because the other person doesn't get a chance to talk or be in the conversation, so it ends up being one sided."
"Mao-"
"-and it sucks! People who interrupt are losers! I swear, society nowadays! It pisses me off that they can't let others talk and have to hog the whole convo. I don't understand people like that Saya you know what I mean?"
Saya sweatdropped. "Like you're one to talk. And that guy you saw had to have been my dad. WAIT..." She stopped.
"WHAT?" Mao said.
"WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE MY DAD?"
"Oh like, a week ago?"
"MAO!"
Saya hung up and sighed shaking her head slowly in despair. That stupid girl...
Hagi still sat there staring at her. She gave him an awkward look. "Hagi, why are you staring at me?"
"I wanted to know why you have 'Colours of The Heart' as your ringtone."
She looked away as he continued on with staring her down like a convict ready to be executed. After a bit of silence, Saya looked back at him hesitatingly.
"S-so what! What's wrong with it?" She looked down into her lap embarrassed while Hagi rolled down one of the windows and let some fresh air in.
"Well, that particularised song belongs to season 3 Saya. We are still well into the first season so if I may convey a bit of a proceleusmatic injunction in regards-"
Saya blinked as he continued talking. Proceleusmatic? Microsoft Word scribbled a red line underneath that word. How the hell does Hagi know such colourful vocabulary? She thought.
"-to converting the song to season 1's song; Aozora No Namida."
She blinked again.
"Hagi?"
"Yes?"
"..."
"..."
"...Saya?"
"..."
"..."
"Season 1 song sucks. We all know Colours of The Heart is better. So...shut it."
"Shut what my queen?"
"THE WINDOW AND YOUR MOUTH! It's freezing!"
Saya's cell started to go off again of course, Hagi rolled his eyes at the song. She silenced him with a bite on the shoulder, making him yelp. He definitely regretted doing so.
"WHAT?" She growled as she answered.
"SAYA! OH MY GOD! SAYA! GUESS WHAT?"
It was Kai now. The red queen deliberately wanted to kill something. Preferably ants. She always liked to squish them on the side walk when walking to school with Kaori. It was better entertainment than having to listen to the girl complain about her weight.
Calmly, she replied with her eyes closed. Hagi knew they were red with anger. Her hands were trembling. "What, Kai?" She whispered darkly.
"Ohohohohoho! YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS! OH MY GOD! Before those French dudes stole dad, I just found out from some friends that a guy named Forest bit dad and he was the one who put him in the hospital! And now he's loose! AND HE'S A FREAKING CHIROPRACTOR!"
"You mean chiropteran. And I really don't care anymore, we're past that episode already. It's his own fault. I mean, who the hell wants to read about him? All I do is kill him. Woooo...so much action." She said sarcastically.
"BUT SAYA! HE BIT DAD! And on the booty cheek! And now he's loose!"
"Then kill him."
"But I don't have your blood..."
"Figure it out for yourself then." She hung up on the fool. She glared over at Hagi who was silent completely.
"Saya my dear...why did you bite me?"
"That's what you get for trying to be a smart ass like you were when you were a kid!"
"But, I had my reasons Saya!" He whined. "You kept making me go get you roses, steal biscuits from the kitchen, and you even made me do a failed attempt to try and invent pocky. All turned out bad."
David interrupted. "Here we are. This Yanburu building. Let's roll."
"I can't believe you're getting so upset over such nonsense really. When it comes to ze mice, you people really are stubborn."
Two brown dressed commander dudes stared at Van in an office. "What the hell are you talking about? What is with you and rodents man? Seriously? That's all this guy has been going on for the last 4 freaking hours is mice. Mice mice mice mice mice. Where are ze mice? YOU DUMB ASS! Quit asking us!"
"Yah, I think he has parkinson's or something. He keeps shaking weirdly." The other commander replied. He looked over at Van who was twirling a tootsie pop around.
"Actually commander, I do not have parkinson's. I have type 7 million diabetes from all ze sugar so it makes me overly hyperactive. I was born with ze type 500 because my mom drank molasses when she was pregnant with me. Zen when I was nursing, she fed me straight sugar water. "
"Oh my god." The first commander was shocked. He looked over at the other commander. "Dude, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOUR INSULIN SHOTS?"
"Well as I told ze Italian guy in the van, my boyfriend sold zem on Ebay. He does it as punishment for when I give him no hanky panky in ze sheets."
"AHHH!"
"Well well, looks like we have somebody who's interested in ze building. You really should meet him, he's tall, blonde and oh so handsome. But I have to say, he is a bit of a demanding partner if you ask me. I remember ze time he bought a chain whip. Now zose were good memories."
The first commander just straight passed out. "WHOA! What happened to him?" The second commander said.
Van glanced behind his shoulder. "He's just jealous. So back to what we were discussing. About ze mice."
"I am sick of talking about mice! WHY CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT CATS? WHY?"
"Not real mice you silly boy. I'm talking about zose dinosaurs zat ze overly pale brown haired man keeps making. He's weird."
"You mean Amshel?"
"Yes and what about the Delta-67?"
"What about it?"
"Well, I need you to like bomb ze building zat ze fat guy my men stole is in. My spidey senses are telling me zat an emotionless man, a red girl, a Jamaican guy, a James Bond type guy, and a red headed punk teenager are going in it to take him."
"Wow...you really narrowed it down!"
"Yes, I did. Activate option D."
"But that button isn't on my microwave...it only has numbers."
"I'm talking about ze mission! Yanburu."
"Oh...great this sucks ass. Now I have to be your personal terrorist."
"So...Forest. Do you got any jacks?"
*response incoherant*
"I'm sorry I can't understand you."
*response incoherant*
"Haaaaahhhh...this is just great."
Kai sat across from Forest who was in chiropteran form of course, in a warehouse and decided to play go fish. The problem was, Forest refused to speak English, which upset Kai.
"Why won't you just turn back into a human so we can play the correct way. So you can win." He smiled hesitantly. Forest roared angrily and threw the cards everywhere, and broke the tables.
"Okay okay fine. I guess you win without me having to play against you. Heehehhe! Want to play Sorry?"
"ROARR!"
As Saya and Hagi went into the building secretly, they both followed after David who was carrying a desert eagle with him. Hagi of course, was taking his sweet time walking. This eventually started to annoy Saya. She stopped when they came to a halt and looked up at the raven haired man.
"Hagi, can you do us a favour and walk a it faster? You're being so slow!"
He didn't even respond because he knew if he didn't walk faster, she'd kick his ass when they got home.
Saya accidentally touched an informational feature in one of the rooms and it lit up brightly. "OH CRAP!" She whispered harshly. David told her to leave it alone.
"Hello. This is a penguin. It's black, white and cannot fly worth s$&%. We hope you enjoyed this artifact." The feature said. Saya rolled her eyes. "Well...how informative."
"There's nobody here as we expected but something still isn't right." David said. "We should proceed with extra caution in case something goes wrong."
"Only thing I want to know is where my dad is."
"Shut your yapping and let's go. We don't have time to waste listening to you gibber gabber. We're going underground so...just follow me."
"Why are we going underground?"
Hagi leant and whispered in her ear. "I wouldn't ask anymore questions. He looks pretty tough." She flicked Hagi in the wrist which stung a bit but wasn't enough to evoke a verbal reaction out of him. "Stop telling me what to do."
"But you're the one who bit me!"
"So what? You deserved it!" She whispered back.
"He's going to get mad at us." He sang silently. Saya stuck her tongue out at him, which made him smirk a bit. That only earned him another flick and this time, on his cheek.
"OW!" He whispered.
"Serves you right."
David looked back at both of them and scowled. "Will you two knock your nonsense off? We are on a professional mission here not a high school field trip! Now cut it out or I'll make you both go sit with Lewis and you don't want to make me do that. He smells like onion rings."
Saya hung her head apologetically. "We're sorry Mr. David. We'll behave."
As they continued walking inside the facility David rolled his eyes. "Sheesh, you'd think that I'd be more childish than two people who are over 150 years old. It's pathetic that people you guys' age act so immature."
"So, you still won't bomb ze building? You better hurry before it gets infested with mice." Van popped another candy in his mouth and smiled as if nothing could ever ruin his subtle happiness he found in his candies. The first commander was awake now. The second commander looked at Van with irritability drawn on his face.
"I swear this guy has a mice fetish of something. That's all talks about."
"Ah, but I do not have a mice fetish. It's actually all the script will allow me to talk about. Now, are you going to carry out option D or not?"
The first commander hesitated before replying. "Haaaaah...alright. I guess it's the only option we have left when it comes to the mice."
Van stood up and clapped. The two commanders just stared at him weirdly. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Wonderful! It's exactly what we expected of ze military."
"What military?"
"Hahahhaa!" Van giggled. "Oh you guys are so generous. By the way, would you both like to join me for dinner at Applebee's tonight after ziss bombing is done?"
"Are you asking us on a date so you can get us drunk so you rape us?"
Van smirked. "No no no! Why would you think such trivial things? I was only offering my payback for making you bomb a building for no reason."
The first commander thought for a moment. "...Do they have fried chicken?"
"Absolutely!"
"THEN I'M IN!"
As Hagi, David and Saya ran deeper into the facility, she wondered why the heck French people would steal her father. Why? He didn't know anybody like them. What was this all about?
"Hey Saya."
She noticed Hagi's comment wasn't even a question. It was a statement. "What?"
"Why are we running like Naruto characters?"
They continued running. Saya rolled her eyes. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, we are running with our hands behind our backs like they do in Naruto. I think the writers of this anime could have at least made us run a different way."
"Hagi...stop being an imbecile. You're annoying me."
"Ay-ay capp'in!"
She exchanged a weird look with him and continued following David until they came to a computer room. Saya saw a dead guy in a yellow suit on the ground and it kind of startled her. Hagi held her against his chest.
"Where's my dad? I think I wanna go home now. I can't stand much more of this demented place. It smells like embalming fluid and blood."
"I'm working on it. Just hold on."
Please review! *holds plate of chocolate fudge brownies with m&ms and cherries on top* :D - makes this face