"So now we march to Adamant?" Iron Bull leaned forward, a tankard clutched in his fist as Varric shrugged his shoulders. The Inquisitor and a handful of scouts had long ago left, sending nothing but word for her companions to follow. There was to be a battle and she urged her troops to prepare themselves accordingly. What that truly meant, Elena had no idea. But she would go for the sake of the Wardens.
She rose from her table, brushing off the reply from the dwarf, and stepped out into the frigid evening air. The plan was to set out not long after nightfall to arrive at Adamant simultaneously with the Inquisitor. Her heavy-lidded eyes scanned the darkness and she could hear the men gathering below her; loading pack horses and securing their supplies. It would be another long journey, but the prospect of a battle caused the air to buzz with anticipation and excitement.
It had been some time since Haven that any of them had witnessed more than a scuffle and she drew her robes tightly around herself to fight off the chill.
Unlike those men, Elena detested the idea of more bloodshed but she knew what had to be done. There would be no peaceful negotiations. Whatever had happened was bad and the Grey Wardens were suffering greatly. Although there wasn't much that she, a Mage from Ferelden and a Grey Warden by happenstance, could do to help them. They would not recognize her authority in these foreign territories and she could not expect them to. Blackwall was a better candidate than she.
She circled around the tavern to climb the stairs to the battlements. This would likely be her final night spent in Skyhold and she wanted to be able to appreciate the magnificent fortress one final time from the best vantage point. While Elena did not intend to remain in the Western Approach as a rotting corpse, her purpose would soon be fulfilled and duty would take her back to Ferelden and Vigil's Keep. Or perhaps even to the Anderfels to deliver the news. Weisshaupt would want to know, she decided. They always wanted to know.
Shadows moved around her as the wind stung her cheeks and caused the tip of her nose to burn. Elena drew her arms around her torso and continued her final lap around Skyhold as boots sounded on the stone behind her. She slowed and so did they. She should have drawn her staff to save herself the possibility of being thrown to her death, but she knew there was no threat and she stopped to lean against the ice cold stone. Her eyes searched the courtyard below, "You've been avoiding me," her words sounded so far away to her own ears and she felt him move to stand beside her.
"I had thought that was what you wanted," his voice was gruff and she reached up to brush some hair behind her ear as she turned to him.
"I thought so too. But I was wrong. I won't be returning to Skyhold after this," she searched his face in the dying light and watched his expression harden.
"I had assumed as much."
There was a moment of silence punctuated only by the wind whistling through the ramparts. Her fingers curled around the edges of her robes and she shivered. "I should go join the others. Will we be ready to march soon, Commander?" He responded with a curt nod and Elena made to move past him.
"Right. Well, I await your orders and for what it's worth, Cullen, I'm sorry for what I've done," Elena bowed her head in farewell and stepped around the Commander.
"Ride with me to Adamant," the sudden change in his tone took her by surprise and she looked over her shoulder. He was moving closer with desperation written all over his handsome face. "If these are the last moments we are to spend together before we part ways, then stay by my side. Give me that much, at least."
Elena opened her mouth and closed it, grinding her teeth together as she went to war with herself. Surely this could hurt no more than the pain she had already caused him. She could still see him shattering that night he had asked her to stay and it crippled her even now. She couldn't do that again and there was no guarantee either of them would even make it out of Adamant alive. She couldn't risk that kind of guilt and Elena found herself nodding.
His exhale was audible and she watched his shoulders fall forward with relief. A hand fell upon her shoulder and her knees nearly buckled as he placed a kiss upon her forehead. Just like that he was gone and she blinked, turning her head slowly to watch his retreating figure.
Adamant beckoned to them in the distance and all eyes fell upon the fortress every so often, sizing up their enemy. There would be little rest throughout the camp and conversations were quiet and somber. The fires burned low and many were extinguished long before the heavy darkness of night crept over them. Soldiers sat around in their tents, propped up and whispering in low voices to one another. The Inquisitor had joined them and Elena sat back as they worked through their tactics and strategies for overthrowing the fortress. The woman retold her own account of tracking Erimond across the Western Approach. Her tale was grim and she watched Stroud's expression shift as he interjected where appropriate.
Elena leaned against her staff, allowing her gaze to sweep back and forth between them all though she remained silent. It was going to be bloody; there was no doubt about that. But there was hope. Some of the Grey Wardens still had their wits about them, and could rebel to aid the Inquisition during their assault. It was a long shot, but that was all they had.
"Then tomorrow we move on Adamant. I will not let Erimond get away with this," that was all the dismissal they needed and the Inquisitor retreated to her own tent, followed closely by Blackwall. Rumors of their budding relationship had been surfacing across Skyhold but Elena had brushed them off. Their business was their own. If that brought them peace then she would be the last person to stand in their way, she understood that need all too well.
She gave Leliana and Cassandra a nod as she passed and slowed when she neared Cullen. As promised, she had not left his side since setting out from Skyhold. But that would have to end come dawn. "Ready?" She questioned and he sighed.
"As ready as we'll ever be. We have the advantage and the element of surprise. But they are holed up in there and we have no idea what waits beyond those walls," he looked towards the horizon and rubbed at the back of his neck. "You should get some rest. We've been traveling for days and who knows how long the fighting will last."
Elena nodded. "And so should you. You'll need to be well rested with a clear head," she reminded him. It felt strange to stand there before him and discuss the impending battle. She had never witnessed him in action before and the idea both frightened and thrilled her. What if something happened? What if he were injured? She would never be able to focus knowing that he was somewhere, driving his blade into the enemy and risking his own neck in the process.
"I plan to fight beside you tomorrow," Elena said suddenly. "To keep an eye on you. The other Mages will be falling back to aid our defenses and protect our soldiers but I prefer the front lines."
"I can't let you—"
"I'm not giving you a choice, Commander. I will not lose you to some abomination summoned by brainwashed Grey Wardens," she could feel the panic rising in her chest and her voice rose a decibel. "That night in Skyhold when I told you...when you said you...gah. I wanted to stay with you, Cullen. Oh Maker, how I wanted to! But I was afraid. I was afraid of what that would mean. I thought that by pushing you away it would make leaving you easier. But it hasn't done a damn thing and I am so sorry that I threw that away because I was foolish and selfish." The words tumbled like a waterfall from her lips and she took a deep breath.
"Elena..."
"I'm not finished. I had done such a good job at forgetting about you. All those years I convinced myself that my feelings for you had just been part of some juvenile phase and that in time I would learn to let go. But then I arrived at Skyhold and you were just...there, after all that time, and they all came rushing back. I have spent every day since fighting them and I am so very tired. I can't...I don't want to fight them anymore, Cullen, and this may be the last chance I have to ever say this."
His hand had moved against the tent flap to duck inside and she watched the heavy flap fall back into place as he thought better of his decision. Her heart was deafening and she was certain he could hear every beat and every uneven breath as she tried to calm her nerves. Her hands trembled and he moved closer. His hands were in her hair and his lips were crashing down to meet hers with a longing she hadn't known either of them possessed. Her entire body burned with a painful yearning for his touch and she pressed herself against him.
Through his solid armor she could still feel the thrumming of his heart against his ribs and she wanted to peel the cool metal from him. She wanted to feel the warmth of his skin beneath her fingertips and trace his jaw with her lips. "Stay with me," he murmured against her lips. The sweet sound caused goosebumps to rise along her arms and she nodded mutely, he didn't need to ask. She stumbled forward as he backed into his tent and abandoned her staff on the ground as they toppled onto his bedroll.
In a flurry of kisses and fumbling hands, they'd had both shed their armor in record time and the dry air warmed the exposed skin of her body. She dragged her hands through his hair and muffled her cries against his shoulder. The pressure of his hips between her thighs was pure ecstasy and every primal growl that passed over his lips sent a shiver rocketing down her spine to her toes.
She couldn't tell where she ended and he began. Sweet release had eventually found them both and she held him close as a violent tremor shook his body.
He hummed softly in satisfaction as his head settled against her bare chest and his breathing began to even out. His fingertip traced absently against her stomach and she closed her eyes as she placed a kiss against the top of his head.
"I don't want you out there tomorrow," his low voice was thick with sleep.
"You have no say. I will not stand back and watch you lay siege without me. I can't keep you safe from a distance," she ran her fingers through his sweat soaked hair.
He grumbled something incoherent and she chuckled softly. "Go to sleep, Commander. We can argue in the morning," Elena whispered. There was no response as his breaths grew shallow and even and his body rested effortlessly against hers. She followed soon after; no longer fearing what was to come.