Halliwell Pantheon

Ch 10: Lust

Patience sighed as she felt herself slowly wake up as the sun shined down on her face. Only three weeks had passed since she had told her parents that she was pregnant. It went way better than she thought it was going to. She had only had to sit through a three hour lecture telling her more about pregnancy than she ever wanted to know from her mom. I guess that's what you get when your mom is the Goddess of Knowledge.

On the other hand her dad had just thrown himself into his godhood. She did kind of feel sorry for those thieves that her dad caught, but she was sure that Henry Jr. would find their hands sooner or later. She had tried to tell him them that cutting off a thieves hand was so last millennium but he had ignored him. Chris had told her brother Henry Jr. to try and find their hands for they could reattach them.

Patience slowly tried to sit up but she found that she couldn't. Wait a second that wasn't right. She slowly opened her eyes. She looked down and couldn't see her feet. Her stomach was huge. This was so wrong she wasn't even a whole month pregnant and she looked like she was almost nine months pregnant. Patience let out a scream that shook her temple.

Ares, Leo, Her parents and her brother all appeared in her room.

"What's wrong?" Ares asked.

"What's wrong? What's wrong!!!!! The fact that I'm not even a month pregnant and I look nine months pregnant is what's wrong"

"Patience you do know that gods mature at a different rate than human's right?" Leo asked.

"Yeah. But what does that have to do with me turning into a blimp over night." Patience said finally starting to calm down.

"Well, that means that a god's pregnancy doesn't necessarily last nine months." Leo said.

"What do you mean that I could have the baby any minute now?" Patience practically shrieked in panic.

"Yes that is completely possible gods have no set time for pregnancies and when you have this baby it can come out as an adult or a baby, it could even mature slower or faster than normal." Leo told them.

"You've gotta be kidding me." Patience said as she rubbed her forehead trying to stop the headache she felt building up.

"Leos right. Cupid was born only three months after Aphrodite had gotten pregnant. Then again it took him around two hundred years to become a teenager and two days after that for him to become an adult." Ares said completely oblivious to the growing panic written on Patience's face.

Everyone except Ares teleported out of there seeing one of Patience's fits approaching. Ares quickly noticed his mistake and prepared himself for another case of panic attack, followed by a verbal fight, followed by a session of dodging fireballs, to a serious session of carnal love. One thing was for sure Patience was exactly his type of woman; passionate and only slightly crazy.

Chris was in his shower trying to get over the headache that those whiny ass people in that magic shop in that shit whole of a city were causing. Ever since Wyatt had put that curse on that carpenter they had been calling for him like every ten minutes.

Chris sighed; the shower was doing nothing for his growing frustration. Chris got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Technically he could just dry and dress himself with a thought but he still enjoyed doing stuff the human way. He had always loved the way that the soft cotton of the towel had felt against his naked skin.

Chris was walking into his bedroom when he was surrounded in lights. When Chris could finally see again he found himself in the magic shop. Chris shot a very dirty look at the red head who had summoned him. With a thought he replaced the towel with his regular clothes.

"You better have a very good reason for summoning me." Chris said giving everyone in the room a dirty look. Willow looked like she was going to wet herself knowing that she had unintentionally drawn the wrath of a god, not just any god but a god that was the king of his pantheon. Buffy was clearly amused and was failing miserably. Giles rubbed his head while downing some aspirin.

The sources of Chris's troubles were sitting at the table. The whiny blond was trying to look intimidating and the young man looked like he had been put through the wringer a few times. Chris was taking this in when he heard someone laugh. Chris saw the peroxide bleached vampire standing there laughing at him. Chris was filled with rage not only had they been bothering the hell out of him for the last few weeks but they had summoned him and then proceeded to laugh at him.

Chris lifted his hand and a ball of lightning flew from it and hit the vampire a blinding flash filled the room. When the light disappeared a frog was sitting in the place of the vampire.

"That will teach you to laugh at a god." Chris said smugly. At this the rest of the people in the room tried to hide their amusement and was failing miserably.

"As for you my little witch not only have you been calling for me every ten minutes over the last three weeks you have the audacity to summon me here." Suddenly Willow was surrounded by a bright green light that left her and flew into Chris. "To teach you a lesson I took away your magic. I'll give it back to you in a few months."

Chris was on a roll, he turned to the two pains in his ass that were sitting at the table. "As for you stop bitching, what the hell were you expecting to happen you insulted gods. Did you think you could get away with that? God I can't believe I actually liked you guys when I first met you. Do us all a favor and grow the #!$ up!!!" with that Chris disappeared in a flash of lightning that scorched the wooden floor.

Things had gotten busier over the last week. It seemed the elders weren't willing to be subtle anymore. They had completely destroyed a coven of witches that had turned over to the pantheon and Wyatt had told Chris that the valkeries had also been attacked. To make things worse Patience was having the baby.

Ares teleported to Patience's side, she had been in labor for three hours and he couldn't be there because of his asshole of a father. Ares appeared just in time to see Patience start to glow with a scarlet light.

"What the hell is going on?" Ares bellowed.

"The baby is coming." Leo told him. They watched as Patience started to glow brighter and brighter until it filled the room. When the lights faded they were shocked to see a young man standing naked in the room. He was pretty short for a man only five eight. He had raven black hair that was just long enough to fall over his eyes. He had a pale complexion that matched his mothers. He was in excellent shape which everyone in the room could see since he was completely naked.

The young man gave Ares a dazzling smile and walked over to him in a way that screamed sex and threw his arms over his shoulders and laid his head on his shoulders and said "Hi daddy."

It took a while for Ares to overcome his shock; he slowly lifted his arms and returned his sons hug. Ares let out a yelp when he felt a hand slide down his back and squeeze his ass. Everyone stared at the naked youth until laughter filled the air. Everyone turned to look at Chris.

"What were you expecting Ares? Your son is the God of Lust." Chris said. Everyone looked at the young man who gave them a brilliant smile and said "Call me Carn."

"Why Carn?" Ares asked. Carn lifted his head so it was extremely close to his ear and whispered in a breathless voice "If you really want to know I can tell you somewhere a little more…intimate."

Chris smiled at this; he had a feeling that life just got a little more interesting.

AN: I think you guys will enjoy my new OC character. He will be worth a few laughs in the next chapter and if you guys really want to know why he's called Carn you'll have to ask me, very nicely. (Smiles evily)