Countless hours of learning more
Countless hours of knowing less
Can't look behind you
You have to look ahead.
"Is it over yet?" Phil asked as he sat with his eyes closed. The nurse taking his blood could not help but laugh.
"You have tattoos and piercings yet you are afraid of a little blood draw." she remarked.
"When I am getting a tattoo or a piercing I do not have to watch the blood being taken from my body." He retorted.
The nurse had to give him that one. Some people were not big on have blood taken. Apparently he was one of those people. "All done." She said taking the tourniquet off of his arm. "the results will be ready in about ten minutes. But let me tell you the people in the lab are not your biggest fans at the moment."
"It's to save someone's life. They can get over it. Lord forbid they actually do their jobs." He scoffed.
"Hey don't shoot the messenger." she said. Then she handed him a sharpie and a piece of paper. "Make it out to my son Justin." Phil had been forced to bribe the nurse with an autograph for her son in order to get her to make sure they rushed the test results.
To Justin:
You will never be as awesome as I am so don't bother trying
-CM Punk
"Seriously." she looked at the autograph. She placed her hands on her hips and glared at the wrestler.
"You never said it had to be a nice autograph. And compared to some of the stuff I have written to people that it nice." he justified. "I am just a prick. What do you want me to tell ya?"
"Just leave. I will give you a call when everything comes back." she ordered before he could give her an even bigger headache.
"Make sure her doctors get that stuff right away. This needs to be done as soon as possible."
"ASAP. I got it." She waved him off.
–
He walked out of the outpatient lab grinning. Why was he a dick to everyone he met? Well because he could be. He pulled the hood of his sweatshirt closer over his face in hopes he did not get recognized. Most people left him alone.
Although he was still scared out of his mind he knew it needed to be done, and the sooner the better. He had been to this hospital too many times as he could now get around to the places he needed to do with ease.
He was not all that surprised when he stepped off the elevator that Diana was in the same place she was before. But she was not alone this time. Lex's whole family was there. Dread filled his body and with each step he took it just seemed to get worse.
"Diana-I" he wanted to tell her that he was a match. That he was going to be the one to save Lex but when he saw her face he stopped talking.
"Phil, Alexia went into cardiac arrest." Ted had to speak for his wife. She looked even worse than she did before.
"Is she-" He couldn't bring himself to say the word dead. He didn't think he could take it if he had to hear it either. He started at the floor then because he did not know what else to do. This was not something he was prepared for.
"No." Phil looked at at Ted with hope. "She's really bad though. She's on a CPAP machine and sedated. At this rate she will not make it the rest of the week."
"Where are her doctors. I need to talk to them right now." Phil insisted.
"Why?" Both parents looked at the man in confusion. Both of them had wondered why he had taken such an interest. But now it was getting to be a little too much.
"Because I am a match." He finally admitted and and felt better for doing so. "I've had all the tests that confirm it."
"Phil I-" Diana started only to be cut off by the younger man.
"I should have- no Lex should have told you sooner. But I am here and ready."
"You bastard!" Diana slapped him hard across the face. He looked at her stunned. "You have known for how long? She had been getting worse and worse and now after her damn heart has stopped now you say something."
Phil rubbed his cheek and just stared at Lex's mother. Normally if anyone ever just came up to him and slapped him in the face he would have been pissed. But this time he felt like he deserved it. He knew how bad off Lex was and yet still he waited.
"Look do you want my help or not. I agree I should have said something earlier and I am sorry but I am here now so let's get this shit done." Phil stood his ground. Sure he was in the wrong here but if he was going to go down he would go down swinging.
"Come on Diana let's go find Dr. Mercer." Ted gently pulled his wife along with him. It would do no good if she killed the young man before he could help their daughter.
It was just Phil and Lex's whole entire family now. He looked at them briefly before going to stand against a wall. He tried to block out their stares as much as possible. But soon enough he felt someone tug on the sleeve of his hoodie. He looked down at a little blonde haired girl. She was smiling up at him.
"Hi Punk." He recognized her voice from the phone.
"Hi Rugrat. What's your name?" He asked.
"Makenzie." the little girl replied. "We saw you on the tv."
"Yea you told me that on the phone." he said. He was trying to be nice but he wasn't really a big fan of kids. "So do you like wrestling?"
"Sometimes." she replied. "Lex watches with me and my brother." she pointed over to where her twin was sitting. He was playing with a few of his toy wrestlers. He looked at at Phil for a moment before hiding his face.
"Are you guys twins?" Punk asked. He would have to admit at least two members of Lex's family liked him. Granted they were kids and had no idea what an ass he truly was.
"Yea we're three." She held up three little fingers for him to see. "This many."
"Mak come back over here." They both looked at to see a woman was staring at them. It was obvious enough to Phil that she was the young girl's mother.
"I think your Mommy wants you to go back and sit with here now." he said to the little girl.
"You're gonna make Lex all better right?" the young girl asked. "She told me and Nick that you would."
"I am going to try." He assured her.
"Ok. Bye Punk." She waved at him before going back to sit with her mother.
He sunk down to the floor them. He was leaning against the wall with his knees propped up in front of him. He let his head rest against his knees and closed his eyes. This was way too much for him at the moment. He wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere else, at that moment. With his eyes still closed he began mouthing the words to his favorite song. Anything to get his mind off Lex and the fact that her whole family was sitting there probably judging him. Normally he would not care, he'd probably tell them all to go fuck themselves. But this time he felt that they were justified.
He looked up, most of the relatives were talking amongst themselves. He stood up and walked away from them. He needed to call Vince and explain things to him. He figured the boss would be understanding because he was saving Lex's life. Vince seemed surprised when he talked to Phil on the phone but he wished him luck none the less.
Phil felt empty when he placed his cell phone back into his pocket. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel. Maybe a little good about himself. He was literally going to be saving someone's life. But he didn't, he felt cold.
When he returned to the waiting room with the family the doctor was there waiting for him. He shook Phil's hand.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
"Yea." Phil said before starting to follow him. "Wait can I talk to her for a minute before I go?" He looked at her parents. Her father nodded towards him. He kept his head down as he walked towards the room.
So many doubts running through your mind
All the excuses
Don't have the time
All the rejection you have to leave behind
He shut the door behind him. Lex was laying very still. Her hands had been restrained and there were tubes sticking out of her mouth to help her breathe. He stood over her and grabbed her hand with his own.
"I am sorry kid. It took me this long. I am so so sorry. But I am going to do the right thing. I promise." He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb. "You will get better. I won't let you die. Not because of me." He let go of her hand and walked out of the room.
He looked at Alexia's parents once more. The way Ted was holding onto his wife or the way Diana had her head resting on his chest while she cried. He had never thought of himself as a horrible person more than he did at that moment. He gave them a heart-breaking look before following the doctor.
"We need you to sign this consent form Phil." He signed it without bothering to read it. It all seemed to slow down from there. They were handing him a hospital jonnie after that. He changed into it. Then they were asking him all these questions.
Then he was laying on his side on the stretcher. "Alright Phil I am going to inject the site with a local anesthetic." She injected a needle into the back of his hip. She waited a few minutes for it to take effect. Then she went ahead and stuck him with another needle. "Do you feel that Phil?" She asked.
"No." He repled.
"Good." She kept twisting the needle over and over again until she felt the little pop signaling that she had gotten through the bone. "You are going to fee a sort of sharp tugging sensation for a moment Phil. Don't be alarmed." She pulled out a long screw looking piece out of the back to the needle before placing a syringe where the screw had just left. A thick red liquid began filling up the syringe. It came out slowly.
"You are doing good Phil." Once she filled the syringe she pulled the whole needle out of Phil's back. "I am going to have to try another spot now Phil." She ended up extracting from a different place in the back of his hip and then from two spots in the front. But she felt they had gotten enough for what they needed it for.
"All done." she announced. She placed the now four filled syringes. She placed bandages over the puncture wounds and helped Phil carefully roll onto his back.
"How long before the anesthesia wears off?" He wanted to know when he should expect the pain.
"In a few hours." She told the tattoo covered man. "But you can ask for something to help with the pain. They will probably give you some ibuprofen."
–
They moved him to a room soon after. If they expected him to sleep they were mistaken. He could not have slept even if he wanted to. He had too many things on his mind. He texted Maria explaining what he had just done. He was sure that she would be thrilled. He was about to put his phone away when it began vibrating in his hand.
"Hello." He said unsurely. He had not recognized the number but decided to answer it anyways.
"Vince told me what you did." Phil rolled his eyes. He wasn't surprised that Jericho had called him. He honestly thought the man would have had him on the phone during the procedure.
"It was the right thing to do." Phil shifted in the hospital bed a little trying to get comfortable but he doubted he would ever be.
'Why didn't you tell me the night I attacked you?" Chris asked.
"I didn't think it would have changed anything." Phil replied. "You wanted to think that I was this horrible guy trying to hurt Lex. Well you were wrong. I saved her and I do care."
"I can see that now. I am sorry." Phil was a little surprised. But he respected Jericho a little more now that he had apologized.
"Thank you man." Phil smiled a little. "By the way her mom has one hell of a slap." Jericho laughed because he could only imagine what had brought Diana to slap the younger man.
"Get some rest Phil. Vince wants you back as soon as humanly possible." Phil had no doubts about that.
He felt a lot better about himself as he laid in that hospital bed. Sure he had been afraid but he had gotten over it and did the right thing. Now only time would tell if it even made a difference. He closed his eyes and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
–
When he woke up the next morning he was surprised to find someone was holding his hand. He looked towards his left and there was Lex sitting up in a chair watching television.
"Hey Lexie Loo." he said. "What are you doing in here?"
She looked over at him and smiled. "Well after they took me off the propofol. They gave me the marrow and as soon as that was over I wanted to come see you. They told me no but I threw a bitch fit and here I am."
"You gave everyone a scare yesterday." He sat up a little. He immediately let out a groan as he did so. He had forgotten how sore they said he would be.
"What can I say I like to piss people off." Was her reply. "My mom told me she hit you. Are you alright?"
"Nothing I haven't gotten before."
"Listen Phil. I wanted to thank you if it was not for you I don't know what I would have done. And I know that I am nowhere near out of the woods but I know I will be. I just cannot wait to be all done with the chemo and the radiation. I can't wait to have hair again." she grinned at him. For the first time since she had met him she did not look sick to him. He could see her in a way he had never seen her before. She was beautiful.
"You called me Phil. You never called me by my given name before." He smiled at her.
"I felt you deserved it." she patted his hand. "So you go home today that is good. Vince says you can have the rest of the week off. You should go spend some time with Natalie." she said referring to his best friend.
"I might just do that. But as soon as you get better I am taking you to Chicago so you can meet her."
"That sounds good to me." she agreed.
"So what's good to eat in this joint?" Phil asked. "Because I am starving."
"Well why didn't you say so. I will call up my personal chef." She laughed. "My mother is forever in your debt all I have to do is call her up and you can have anything you want for breakfast."
"Pancakes sound good to me right about now." he said.
"Coming right up." She grabbed his cell phone off the bedside table. "Hey mom I was wondering if you could make me and Phil some pancakes and bacon and bring it to us." she grinned before hanging up the phone.
"She will be here in an hour with breakfast." Lex informed the wrestler.
"Don't you think it is sort of cruel to make her not only make but bring us breakfast?" Phil asked.
"Yes normally I would but she feels so guilty about things now that she wants to do things for me. So why not let her. It makes her feel good to feel like she is useful."
"I suppose." He just hoped Lex would not get used to abusing her mother like that. But he knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't.
"I am going to miss seeing you." Lex said which caught him off guard.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well now that I am on the mend I am sure you have better things to do then come and visit me." she said.
"Kiddo you are stuck with me forever." he said. "You have my blood running through your veins now."
"Does that mean I am suddenly going to turn into a huge asshole?" she asked before letting out a laugh.
"Ha ha very funny." He remarked dryly.
"I thought so." she replied with a smirk. "See it's started already." again she laughed.
"Is that anyway to treat the man who saved you?" he asked not finding her teasing the least bit funny.
"Well what would you like?" she asked.
He grinned at her. "How about a kiss?" he was just kidding around with her. "You have kissed a guy before right?"
"Of course I have. I am not a little child. You want a kiss fine." she grabbed his face brought her lips to his. Obviously he was surprised but he wrapped his arm around her to pull her closer. She was the first to let go. But she was smirking at him.
"Where did you learn to kiss like that?" he asked.
"Told you I have kissed guys before." she laughed. "Before I got sick Mike and I well we sorta dated."
"What does sorta dated mean?" he asked.
"Well we went out a few times and me made out a lot but I just couldn't sleep with him. It was just too weird, he was my friend."
"Have you ever? Ya know been with a guy?" her face turned bright red.
"Yes I have." But he could tell she was lying.
"You're lying. It's ok you know."
"It's none of your business." she snapped. Obviously he had hit on a sore spot.
"You are right it is none of my business." He agreed and was willing to drop the subject all together.
"It's not easy to be comfortable enough with yourself when you are sick like that you know." she said.
"Hey I am not judging you at all." He threw his hands up in the air. "It's cool believe me it really is."
"Really?" she asked.
"Yes Alexia it is. One day you are going to meet some amazing guy and then when it does happen it will be worth it."
"Is that what happened with you?"
"Well no but I am a guy and there is a whole different set of rules for us. We do not care about stuff the way you females do."
"Dude just shut up while you are ahead." she laughed and just like that their awkward moment was over.
You'll find strength
When people bring you down
They will see
If you will only, only believe.