Ch 10

Toushirou's POV

"Well now that he's gone, what shall we do?" Kyouraku asked. Looking completely the deranged drunk that he was.

"Shunsui, I think we should go." Ukitake spoke, saving Karin from a fate worse than death, or so I thought.

"But Juushirou!" He whined in reply. "We were just starting to have some fun."

"Let the girl rest. I'm sure we'll see her again," Ukitake stated as he started pulling Kyouraku towards the door.

The closing door cut off the drunk's reply. Thank Kami-sama for small favors. I looked back at Karin in time to notice her eyelids drooping some what, but she was fighting to keep them open.

"Matsumoto, lets head out for the night."

"Toushirou, I …..." Karin began.

"Sleep Kurosaki," I hoped no one before noticed that I called her Karin. If someone did it might cause problems, and now that it wasn't as crazy in this room, I forced myself to call her by her family name and not the name I got used to calling her before.

I was silently begging her not to force this conversation on me right at this moment. I knew that she would want to talk to me the moment she saw me, but I had hoped that she wouldn't do it in front of someone else.

She must have understood what I was trying to say, or she was more tired than I thought because she laid back down and told us goodbye.

Out in the hallway Matsumoto started to fidget.

"Taichooooo...... I wanted to talk to Karin-chan more!" Matsumoto whined like a forlorn child.

A hell butterfly flew through the near by window, thus, saving me from replying, for I didn't have the patience to deal with her right now. I too didn't want to leave Karin.

I lifted my hand to allow it to land. Matsumoto stood silently by my side while the little messenger delivered its burden.

"Don't worry Matsumoto, we'll see her tomorrow. Soutaicho wants her to attend our meeting. I'm sure her wants to meet the death berry's sister, but also wants to meet the conscious girl that caused that large of an explosion. And after the meeting I'm sure there will be plenty of time to catch up with her."

She blessedly consented, and kept silent the rest of the way back to the tenth. When we arrived at the barracks, she bayed me goodnight and went to her room, where as I went to my office where I was sure that there would be mounds of paperwork just waiting for me from the time we were all searching for Karin.

All good intentions of working flew right out the window when I though about Karin again. Sitting down at my desk, I pulled out my one treasure that no one, not even Momo or Matsumoto knew of.

Gazing at the old photo I couldn't help but think of what might happen now that she's here.

'No, I can't think about that!' I forcefully told myself.

'Why can't you think of what might happen, master?'

'She doesn't think of me like that Hyourinmaru. She said so herself all those years ago. And I can no longer think of her like that. That's why I've been denying my feelings for her. I can't become what I was four years ago again. I won't be able to pull out of it again'

'Master, you know she just said that to get you to not do what you were thinking of doing. She wouldn't, couldn't, let you do what she knew, and I knew, you were about to do. She was young and didn't know any other way to stop you from doing that, than pushing you away. If she wasn't in the picture anymore than you wouldn't do what you though of doing.'

'Leave me along Dragon, I don't want to hear your insensible babel.'

I knew that I was being unfair to Hyourinmaru, but I just didn't care right now. I looked back down at the picture in my hands.

In the picture, Karin was looking at me with a happy, but sad look in her eyes. Maybe she looked that way because she had already knew that that day would be our last day together. It was barely the next day that she told me we were through.

She said that she couldn't stand me anymore. That I was an eye sore and that she never wanted to see me again. That I make her sick when she looks at me. After tearing my heart out and ripping it to shreds in front of me, she turned around and took off running. I was too shocked and hurt to do anything but stare at her retreating form.

When I got back to Seireitei, I couldn't do anything right. I was going through the motions of my life without really being there. But it didn't matter that I was going through the motions of being a taicho, my division was suffering. And the worst part was, I didn't care. Things only got done there because Matsumoto or another member did them.

Things only got worse in the coming four months. I altogether stopped leaving my room. Even though I could see the things going on around me, I couldn't really SEE them. Soutaicho even threatened to remove me from taicho of the tenth. Again, I didn't care. Nothing mattered to me, other than the fact that she was gone. It was as if my whole life had ended the day she left. I couldn't feel anything anymore.

It took Matsumoto slugging me in the face, and screaming at me in crying hysterics for me to finally open my eyes to what I was doing to my beloved division. It took me the next three and a half years to get everything back together. And now that I had finally started to get back to my old self SHE came here. It's like I can't get away from her. When I had to start re-building my division, I locked away everything in my heart that had anything to do with Karin, but I still had the picture. I couldn't bare to get rid of it. It was proof that she and I were together and that I was happy for a time in my life. With her I didn't have a care in the world. Nothing else mattered but her and I. The times I was with her were the best of my life and after life.

So I kept the picture with me where ever I went. It was with me every second of every day. Even though I had it with me everywhere, I have only recently, in the last year and a half been able to look at it. Though I couldn't look at it for years, it gave me some comfort by having it with me.

When I finally stopped thinking about the past, I looked up to see that I had unconsciously gone back to the forth. I knew that I should leave, but I couldn't make my body move away.

I felt myself jump up onto the wall and seek out her reiatsu. In a few minutes I was sitting on the wall looking into her room.

Even from the distance from the wall to her window I could still see her clearly. She was laying in her bed sleeping. I was relieved that she looked like she was sleeping peacefully.

She looked so like a terrified child when she heard of her twin's case. I would give anything to never see that horrified look upon her face ever again. I felt like my heart was again shredded all over again when I saw her look like that. Even if she doesn't feel the same about me that I feel about her, I will make sure that she never has to look like that again if it's the last thing I do!

With that thought I dropped down into a near by tree to get a more comfortable perch for the night.

Matsumoto's POV

When we made it back to the barracks, I left taicho after a quick goodnight. I had much to think about. Too many important things had happened in the last day.

I'm not sure if anyone else noticed that taicho called Karin-chan 'Karin' when he was trying to calm her down. Taicho never calls anyone but Hinamori by their first name. And even if he only called her by her first name to get her attention and not make her think he was talking to Ichigo, he would have used -san at the end, but he didn't. And now that I think about it, that wasn't the first time he called her Karin. He also called he by her first name when Ichigo was asking for help finding her.

And that wasn't the only thing. He also stuck up for Ichigo's reason to find Karin-chan. Taicho never involves himself in anything that doesn't directly involve him or the division.

But then again it wasn't long after we both met Karin-chan that day at the soccer field that he started making frequent visits to the human world. I know I teased him about having a secret human girlfriend, but I never even dreamed that I could be right.

Though now I have to wonder. If he was seeing Karin-chan, and then it ended, it would explain what happened to taicho four years ago. Back then he did look as if all light, hope, and love in his world was ripped from his very soul.

My thought process was stopped when I felt taicho leave. 'Now where is he going I wonder?' I decided it would be safer if I just tracked his reiatsu ad not follow him.

It felt as if he was going back t the forth. I hate to think this, but it does seem as if he had something with Karin-chan and then something happened.

After about a half an hour f him not moving away from the forth, I decided it was time to start thinking about other things again.

I knew one thing for sure. No one must find out about taicho and Karin-chan. Even though he's my taicho, Hitsugaya is like a little brother to me. I will never tell him that, but that's how I feel. I won't let anything happen to him again.

I wonder why it ended between them? From the look on Karin-chan's face when she saw him, it looked like he was her whole world.

'For now I'll just sit back and let things happen naturally. I know most don't think I have any tact, but I know when and when not to stick my nose in were it doesn't belong.

Hello all,

The 10th chapter is finally up. Hope you all liked it. Please continue reading. There will be more chapter updates this week as it is my spring break.

Until then, Jaa!