If I Were Your Fallen Angel
"You're the first in my life, who has ever made me feel this way.
And I will not deny, I'm gonna need you right here by my side.
Baby, I can wait...
Come and hold your hand and let me lead the way,
Take your breath away, my hugging and kissing and lovin' and touchin',"
He turned his head aside, as he glanced out at the open window of Annie's shop. He took in a breath, as he stared out the big drops of rain pounding against the sill. Annie stared at the young man, who had sat there awkwardly quiet. She let out a soft laughter, as she brought out a bottle of whisky and a tiny glass. "Never will be too late...
The big woman took a shot, as she gazed at the young man lighting a cigarette. "So what brings the Spike Spiegel to my shop today. Now, I know you have gotta have a reason to visit me."
He let out a short witted laugh, "Ah, come on, Annie. Do I hafta always have a reason?"
She shook her head, "Of course, Spike. What's wrong wit you today, ran out of bounties to hunt?" Spike sighed, as he leaned back in the tall chair, glancing outside the window, as though waiting for something to appear.
"What brings you here, huh?" she questioned, taking another quick shot. He laughed it off, simply.
Spike smiled, as he sat up and blew a cloud of smoke out of his lips, "I'm actually a wandering performer."
Annie laughed, "I can't tell if you're for real or just joking."
"A lot of people say that about me," Spike murmured, playing with the glass that was half filled.
"But I know best...," Annie said, sarcastically, "It's late, Spike. You hardly ever appear around my shop. Don't surprise me this time. Honestly, what is it?"
"Nothing, Annie," he replied, reluctantly, standing up, "I should be on my way anyway. Thanks for your time." She stared up at the man, as he simply walked out of her shop, without another word. That never really often happend.
Faye stared out of the ship's window, as she pressed her hand simply on the shield. She took a breath, as she turned back to face her shambled sheets. It disgusted her, the thought of how it came rushing in all too quickly. She almost felt her tears releasing for the millionth time that night. Faye slowly sat down on a chair, as she gazed downward at her hands clasped tightly in her lap.
She stood up, as she grabbed at the white sheets, and pillow cases and simply threw it onto the floor. Faye took in a breath, as she felt her heart pounding in her chest. She stared in awkward silence at the gun that was placed beside her mantel. She slowly leaned over and reached for it. Just one quick shot and would end everything, she thought solemnly, feeling the angst fall over her trembled body.
Faye let out a soft whimper, as she held onto the gun with both hands. She snapped the gun, as her finger pressed against the trigger. It wasn't as though, she never used one before. She always had, but it scared her that it seemed as though it were her real first time firing a bullet. One shot, and she would feel that heavy weight lift that was placed onto her. Faye's emerald gaze quickly fell onto the door as it swung open, startling her. She pulled out the gun, pointing it over to the person that stood there.
Jet's eyes widened, as his hands came up in front of him, "What the hell are you doin', Faye?!?!" She slowly placed the gun on the bed, as she turned away, abruptly.
"It's you...," she uttered, her voice slowly trailing away. Jet had an odd expression on his face, as he stared at the woman sitting promptly quiet.
"What's wrong with you?" he muttered, his hand on the knob. Faye turned to him, forcing a smile, as she slowly stood up and walked over to him.
"Nothing," she replied, simply, as she walked passed the bald man without another word. Jet let out a breath, as he turned over his shoulder, to the figure that was walking out to the kitchen. She stopped short, as she noticed Spike sitting fiddling around with a gun. His gaze met hers, suddenly, as there was an odd silence that fell among the two.
There was a humorous laughter in Spike's voice, as he uttered, gazing down to what he was still doing, "What is it, dear?" Faye's eyes slowly fell to the floor, as she felt her heart pound in her chest, it hurt her at the tone of his voice. Did he think of her as easy? Even before he had ever known her?
"Just wanted to say good-bye," she replied, simply. This statement caused Spike to gaze up at her, although he hid the fact that he wondered what she meant.
"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" he questioned, simply turning away. "It's just another bounty."
There was an odd tone in Faye's voice as she replied to him, "That's what you think. If anything were to happen....I'd just want to make sure I at least got that out to you."
"That's all," Spike uttered, as though it were a statement. But he wanted to hear more. Faye took in a deep breath, that wasn't all she wanted to say. She had so much to say, she wanted to explain to him what had happened. But a stubborn person, such as Spike would never understand. He would careless to do so. It would be one of those things, that just wouldn't get through to him.
Her emerald eyes gazed onto the young man, as his eyes simply avoided her, "If I had a choice to tell you...I would.....but I wouldn't. Cause I know you wouldn't care to think about it, anyway. Just brush it off like you do to other things, Spike. If I tell you, just pretend you never heard or understood it.....like you say...that's all...."
There was a slight pause, as Spike didn't stop what he was doing. He simply acted as though, he didn't hear a word she said.
"I agree," he uttered, reluctantly. Faye stopped short, as she just stood staring at the man. Why was he so cold to her? He had never changed through those times and for that, she never thought he would ever. Not even for the sole purpose of taking a liking to someone who always wanted that.
Faye took a breath, but no tears came this time. She told herself, she was much too strong for that, "Is your heart made out of lead?"
"Is this where you tell me that you really hate my guts?" Spike questioned, as though he were joking, but he kept his posture, as he closed one eye and held out the gun straight forward.
Faye retorted, "Is that what you think it is? Just some stupid act? Some stupid role that I play?" Spike smiled, as his gaze fell upon the young woman, his elbows placed onto his knees.
"So it's your role to go fuck with Alonia?" he questioned, quite clearly. Her expression changed suddenly, as hurt filled her eyes, and it began to become watery. How could he say such a thing to her? Faye felt as though, that was her weak spot, that if he kept at it, she'd die somehow, someway. But her pride would be first.
"Who's next on your list, Faye?" Spike asked, causing her to breathe, heavily. Her emerald eyes pierced into his, as he just sat there, "Your emotional breakdowns doesn't have shit to do with me. Get that into your damn system."
"How the hell am I suppose to explain anything to a man like you? You don't ever listen. If you'd try to listen for once, and start to feel, then maybe you wouldn't be so damn pathetic for one."
"I'm not pathetic, Faye," he retorted, "and I'm not lonely either."
She shook her head, "I didn't say you were lonely. Unless you consider it yourself. All that I know is that you're a fucken asshole."
Spike took a deep breath, as he abruptly stood up, "Listen---" But before he had a chance to finish what he meant to start, Ed quicky ran out from the hallway, jumping enthusiastically up and down, as she propped herself on the couch, in between the two.
"Justice and duty, duty, THREE O'CLOCK TEA!"
Spike stepped off of the Swordfish, as he cleaned his hands onto a white cloth. His eyes turned to Alonia, who was fixing his own minor ship. He quickly gazed away, as he noticed Jet, Ed, and Ein standing by the doorway.
"Hey, at least we got a new repairer for the damages you and Faye make," Jet exclaimed, humorously. Spike paused, as he heard the mention of her name, he quickly shrugged it off, as he stared down at his ship. He thought solemnly that if he were in Faye's position, he would have never been able to face anyone who saw what she did that night. Spike really didn't know what to think, except that she had something going on as to how she could actually sit there and make up lies about wanting to be accepted.
He let out a soft laughter, you got accepted, Faye. But not by me. He took in a deep breath, as he snapped back into reality. To his surprise, Faye slowly walked on deck, her emerald eyes falling onto his own. It made him wonder how she could even look him in the eye. Alonia quickly stood up, as he let out a cheerful sigh. Then, realizing Faye stood there. She was dressed quite differently from how anyone would have recalled.
The woman was threaded with a tight black top, and a fitted red jacket, along with a short mini skirt and a pair of boots. The hair tie that was usually in her hair, was off, as a red one stayed in its place. Ed glanced at the her, with a bright smile, that hid her pupils.
"Faye-Faye elegant!" she exclaimed, a hand reaching for the skies, "Faye-Faye perty!" Faye flashed the exuberant girl a false smile, as her eyes met Alonia's. He had a smirk perhaps only she could notice. It hurt her to even think, the things the man had done to her. She quickly turned away, her arms crossing her chest, protectively.
Alonia smiled, from where he stood, as he wiped off the oil that spilled on him, "New look? Looks good on you."
"Better than those clothes you used to wear," Jet laughed off, "aren't I right, Spike?" Spike lifted up his head, as he shrugged his eyebrows, without even a word.
"Should get goin'," he muttered, as he headed for the Swordfish. Faye slowly entered her Redtail, as she pressed the buttons, and the screen came on.
"Headed for?" she uttered, as Spike came onto the previously flashing screen.
"Venus," he replied, simply, not staring at her, "Heard there was a big casino there. Should be it." Faye sighed, as she glanced out through the Redtail's window shield, noticing Alonia slipping into his own space cruiser. She couldn't have done the job, with him around. It brought shame to her, realizing that he had seen everything she kept away from anyone. Faye wanted to kill him, but it wouldn't have stopped the pain that ran through her veins, that made way to her heart. The heart that she had kept and waited for another.
If he was willing to accept her, after all, she knew she could wait. If he were able to say that he was hers and she was his, and be able to forget his own past. Faye was willing to forget her own, hoping only that Spike would accept her past.
The past doesn't matter, its the future that counts.
To see myself through your eyes,
Baby, I can wait...
Til the day that you say you're mine."