Word Prompt: Scourge

Scenario: Relive the past or see into the future?

Complete the scenario in any way, in any style, and for any word count. Open your mind and follow where it leads, writing as you go.

not beta'd. rated M. Twilight & all recognizable characters belong to SM.

One year later

Alice stood, gathering her bag. "I gotta get going. Jasper's expecting me back..."

Nodding, I stood too. "I know. I'm here if you need me, though, okay?"

Smiling softly, she drew close, wrapping her arms around me. She was small, but her hugs were mighty. "Thanks, Bella," she whispered, squeezing extra tight before letting go.

Emotion welled up big inside, and all I could do was nod again. We let of each other and I walked her to the door, watching silently as she walked down the path and to the street, where she'd parked.

It was a cold day, and windy. Shivering, I wrapped my arms around myself and waited until Alice had pulled away before stepping back inside. Despite the dreary sky, this was still my favorite weather. Always had been. It reminded me of Christmas with my parents before their divorce, and ice fishing with my Dad in Alaska after it. My mother had always hated winter, which is why she lived in Florida now, but as a kid she'd always been good for endless supplies of cocoa and movie marathons.

These days my nostalgia was tinged with a touch of melancholy. Despite my efforts, memories of last year kept slipping to the forefront of my mind lately. I'd done a good job of forcing myself not to dwell on that time, of the cabin in the woods and being snowed in with the perfect stranger, but life had a way of reminding me. It didn't happen as frequently as before, but Edward's picture popped up at the randomest times: FBI posters at the post office, America's Most Wanted on TV - the guy they'd gotten to play him in the dramatization was nowhere near as good looking - once even online as I researched something completely unrelated.

In the weeks and months right after, his picture had saturated the news. It was all I saw, and I tortured myself by watching and reading about it constantly. Every day he remained un-captured felt like a victory, regardless of how throughly screwed up that type of thinking was. I couldn't help it, though; he'd done something to me.

Well, he'd done a lot of things to me, things I mentally savored and relived at a moment's notice, but mainly it was the way he'd forced me awake. I'd heard that near death experiences had a way of doing that to people - giving them a "new lease on life" - and while he'd never tried to hurt me, the entire situation had shaken me to the core.

I knew it was wrong, and impossible, but I missed the feeling he gave me. I wanted him. I wanted to feel his wanting me. It had been so sharp, so vivid, and sometimes I still ached for it.

Alice, who'd always been particularly observant and intuitive, had been the first to notice. I'd been back a week and had finally consented to leaving my apartment with the girls. After having coffee at our favorite spot, she'd leaned in, eyes damn near sparkling in anticipation, and asked, "so, did you kiss him?"

And I'd been too surprised to lie.

Rose, true to character, wasn't quite as charitable with her reaction, but she didn't scourge me for my actions, either. She was just puzzled - and a little grossed out.

"He could have a ten foot dick and give the best oral on the West Coast - no way in hell I'd hook up with a convict. Especially..." She'd shuddered. "A meth dealer. I mean, gross. At least coke, you know? Not so grimy. Or weed better yet. I could handle handle a pothead."

"You made Emmett stop smoking weed back when you guys got serious," I reminded her.

"Yeah, you're right. It's all bad."

Feigning nonchalance, I rolled my eyes. "I know, I know, okay? It was a -"

"Mistake?" she asked, smirking.

"One time thing," I said with a sigh.

"A crime of opportunity," Alice said, waggling her eyebrows. "Whatever; I think it's hot. I saw his picture and mhm. I'd hit it."

"Lovely." Snorting, I stirred my coffee. "It doesn't matter anyway. He's gone."

It had felt good to say, and good to admit all of it to my friends, knowing that they'd take the things I'd shared to the grave. But I knew I had to leave it at that. My feelings for Edward went inexplicably deeper than I'd let the girls believe, and that was something I needed to deal with on my own.

I realized I needed to leave Seattle for awhile. For one thing, Edward's face was everywhere, haunting me. For another, Jacob's passion for the case had reached a new level of crazy. He was committed to finding Edward and bringing him down! His other passion was me, and while he cloaked his affection in friend zone type behavior we both saw it for what it really was.

So I left.

I packed my stuff, subleased my apartment to a UW grad student, and flew east to be with my mother. Alice and Rose were bummed, but they seemed to understand that my departure was a good thing. For years I'd shown a general lack of excitement toward life, and that had finally changed for me. I spent six months with my mother in the Florida Keys, sunbathing, going on pub crawls and frequenting art galleries. I got a job bartending, and though I kind of sucked in the beginning I was a pro by the time I left.

I returned to Seattle right as autumn began to chase away the summer. The crisp air was welcome after months of sun-soaked humidity, and I felt, as corny as it sounds, renewed. I got a job bartending downtown, much to the surprise of my friends, and re-enrolled in school. I wanted to teach, same as I'd wanted when I was a little girl (before life had dulled my sparkle, as Alice would say).

I felt…grateful.

Closing the door, I sighed as I caught sight of something bright pink. Alice had left her mittens again. Padding into the kitchen, I grabbed my phone and sent her a message.

These mittens are mine now.

She responded right away. I'll grab them Friday, sweetcheeks.

Shaking my head, I pocketed my phone and curled up on the couch. It was a rare day off, no work and no school, and I relished the thought vegging out. I just wished I didn't feel so emo.

I'd been fine. Great, even. Being back in town had initially brought back certain feelings, but they'd faded over time as I'd carved new patterns - grad school, working and living in new places. I was meeting people as well, people like Ben. He was a one year younger than me but two ahead of me in the program, and we had some of the same classes. Chance meetings became study dates, and then coffee dates, and then date-dates. After being single for so long it felt good to be into someone.

Other things had evolved, too. Emmett and Rose had tied the knot after the world's longest engagement and now Alice and Jasper were expecting.

And actually, Alice was a little freaked out about that, which was why she'd come by today. She'd been so chatty and anxious I'd kept my own news to myself - that Ben and I had finally called it quits after four months. It hadn't been anything dramatic; we just realized we didn't fit the way we thought we did.

I was still a little depressed about it, though.

Times like this I thought about Edward, wondered what he was doing. Had he really and truly made it? I supposed he had - there hadn't been news about him in quite some time. Jacob would've told me if they caught him, anyway. I fought the urge to google him.

Laughing a little, I remembered how there'd been a time I'd hoped he'd come for me the way he'd promised. It had been so ludicrous and yet, I couldn't deny that I'd harbored that fantasy for months. In Seattle, in Key West. I imagined looking up and seeing him there, offering me a way out.

But I didn't need a way out anymore. I'd gotten myself out, and I was doing better than I had in years. If I was honest, though, I guessed I could admit to missing him, which was silly because we'd only spent three days together. My eyes fell to the calendar above my desk.

Wow. A year to the day. Had it really been? I saw him in my mind's eye, unconscious in front of the fireplace...on the porch with a shotgun...beneath me on Uncle Phil's couch...eating bacon...

My phone beeped: Jacob.

Are you home? I could bring a pizza by. Six pack of that beer you like.

My stomach growled. On one hand, I was enjoying my alone time. But on the other, I hadn't seen Jacob in a couple of weeks. And I was emotional - lonely because of Ben and concerned for Alice and now, dammit, remembering Edward with an intensity I hadn't felt in some time. Maybe drowning my emotions in grease and alcohol was the way to go.

I messaged him back, inviting him over.

Jacob stayed late. It was like old times, pigging out, catching up and tossing back brews. I liked him like this, when he was just Jake. Mellow. Too bad it took the better part of a twelve pack to get him this way.

"I missed you," he said, grinning sideways at me. "Work's been a bitch lately."

I burped, earning a laugh. "I missed you too, can't lie."

Grinning, he tossed me a napkin and pointed. "You have cheese on your face."

I wiped it off, and then, out of nowhere, he came in for a kiss. I was nearly tipsy enough to let him; he was familiar, and we had history - and I was still stinging from the breakup with Ben. I knew we'd both feel like idiots in the morning, though. Pushing him away, I shook my head. "Not going to happen, Jake. Come on."

"I could be so good for you, Bella."

Yeah, so apparently we were back at square one with regard to boundaries. I almost wanted to be mad at him, but I was too tired. And I felt kind of bad, too. Not because I'd done anything wrong, but because he was a good guy - just not good for me.

Sighing loudly, I stood. Jacob was a sentimental drunk. And a horny one. "Okay. I'm calling you a cab."

"Sure, sure," he said, closing his eyes as he leaned his head back.

Twenty minutes later, there was a honk outside. "Come on, Casanova, that's you," I said, walking him to the door.

He yawned, giving me a sloppy side-hug. "'Kay. Lock the door when I leave."

"I will. Love you, bye." I shoved him into the cold, watching him trip toward the waiting taxi. And then he really did - trip.

"Shit," I mumbled, going to help him. "Jacob..."

"What the hell is that?" he groaned, standing up.

Because there, on the path between my house and the street, was a pile of firewood.

thanks so much for reading and for every review. i appreciate them - and you - so, so, so much.

xoxo