Dwala, who usually woke rather early, allowed herself to sleep late this morning as she knew that Ila would have to take breakfast in her chambers anyway as a result of there being men under the mountain. There was then no point in trying to get down to breakfast with the king, thought Dwala knew Ila would have wanted to be with Thorin if she could have been. Thus, Dwala allowed herself to sleep in a bit before joining Ila. When she stepped into her chambers finally, she saw breakfast had arrived but was completely untouched.
Dwala sighed, Ila needed to eat more. "Ila?" She called towards the bed, seeing her lying face down and still in her dress for some reason. When Ila didn't answer, Dwala went to her bedside. Sitting gently on the bed so as not to startle her, Dwala reached out and lightly shook Ila's shoulder.
"Ila?"
Ila slowly rolled over to face Dwala, who was immediately taken aback by how tired and red faced Ila was. Dwala then noticed Ila's bloodshot eyes and realized she had been crying, apparently for some time now.
"Ila, what ever is the matter?" Dwala asked, thinking she must have had some terrible nightmare, because everything had been fine when she left her a few hours earlier.
"I should have listened to you Dwala." Ila croaked out, a fresh tear running down her face.
"Listened to me? About what?"
Ila cast her eyes down, ashamed to admit what she had done. She'd had hours to think about it and she felt very stupid now that she considered her actions over and over again.
"I…..I slipped out of my room during the night—"
"OH Ila! Not outside?!"
"No, no not outside. But out as far as the balcony, if you consider that to be outside—"
"Well of course that is outside." Dwala interrupted and Ila huffed, she was apparently the only dwarf to see that otherwise.
"Anyway, I was on my way back to my room when...when the king caught me." Ila finished meekly and waited for Dwala's reaction.
Dwala did not speak, but her hands flew to cover her mouth. Ila grimaced and shut her eyes, sinking into the bed even deeper and wishing it would engulf her entirely.
"Oh Ila…." Dwala's voice came gently. "What did he say?"
Ila sniffed, crying some more as she remembered the look in Thorin's eyes.
"He was furious. First because I disobeyed him, secondly because I might have said that I…..that I …"
"That you what?" Dwala urged.
Ila squeezed her eyes shut tight as she said the offending words, "That I feel like a prisoner here. I didn't mean to say it, he was so angry and insistent that I explain myself that it just came out!"
Dwala looked shocked as she took all of that in, still sitting on the bedside. They were quiet for a moment before Dwala looked back to Ila, gently laying a hand on her shoulder for comfort.
"I am sure he will get over it. Though, I think you should apologize to him if you have not already."
"He did not give me a chance to say anything else. And besides, he doesn't want to see me. He said I am to remain here in my room and truly feel like a prisoner if I cannot obey my king and husband to be." Ila said sadly.
"He cannot make you stay here forever. And besides, he will calm down and want to see you again as much as you wish to see him. The two of you will sort things out and everything will be fine."
Ila sniffed again as she was crying harder now. "Really? Do you think so Dwala?"
Dwala rubbed her arm, "Yes, my lady. I do. Now come and eat something, it will make you feel better."
Ila doubted that but did as Dwala said. She would try anything to take her mind off of Thorin, even if for just a second.
Downstairs in the great hall, Thorin was sitting at a table with the party from Dale, listening to their ideas and proposals for the five and ten year plans of their city, trying to pay attention and keep his mind from Ila. It was difficult for those who did not know him well to tell, but those who did could see that their king was not himself this morning. He seemed colder than usual, which was Thorin's outward expression of being upset.
To say that he was upset was an understatement. He wondered that he had been a fool to think that this arrangement between him and Iron Hills princess could work. She was much younger and likely would not be enamored of him for long, if she was at all. That he made her feel like a prisoner angered but also upset him. He couldn't understand how she could feel that way with everything he had given her, and it hurt him that she felt so. Perhaps he would never be able to please her, no matter how hard he tried. And he wanted to please her very much. He wanted her to be happy and happy with him. Was that even possible and worth hoping for?
Balin noticed Thorin's mood most of all, and during the next break caught him alone to ask if his king was alright. Thorin gave him a look to say that he didn't want to talk about it, but Balin persisted and Thorin caved.
"It seems the princess feels like a prisoner in these walls. Perhaps I should not have brought her here." Thorin said lowly, lest anyone else hear him.
Bain inclined his head knowingly. He could tell that Ila had cabin fever yesterday, but he also knew her greatest disappointment at the moment was being denied Thorin's company.
"She just has a lot to get used to, her life has changed dramatically overnight. I could tell yesterday that she was a bit restless, but she was by far most upset that she must be parted from you presently." Balin assured Thorin.
Thorin looked at him, surprised by that last comment. "How do you know that?" he asked trying not to appear too eager for an answer.
"Why, she was visibly upset and disappointed to learn that she would not see you for a few days. I practically had to pry her away from the doors of the great hall, where she was trying in earnest to catch a glimpse of you."
Thorin's heart melted a bit upon hearing that, but he was still not entirely convinced.
"Still, she went out walking the palace alone last night, even went onto the main balcony! If Fili and Kili hadn't found her Mahal knows where she might have gotten to."
"She is restless and lonely. That is all. She does not mean to upset you or disobey you I am sure. She is too good natured for that, I believe you know that my lord." Balin said with a smile.
Thorin thought that over. He knew Balin was right. Ila was sweet and polite and good natured, she would not do something to purposely upset him. He also had to keep reminding himself how young she was, Kili's age in fact. And look how much mischief he and his brother got into! Ila was very well behaved indeed compared to those two. Thorin knew he was being far too hard on her now that he considered Balin's words. Even with her handmaiden ever present Ila must be a bit lonely.
Her handmaiden. Thorin nearly rolled his eyes at the mere thought of the clumsy, ill timing dwarf. It must be very difficult indeed for such to be one's only companion, Thorin thought, though Ila didn't seem to mind her. She must have a great deal of patience at least in some matters.
As for being restless, Balin reminded Thorin that Ila would have spent a great deal of time outdoors in the Iron Hills and that the sudden change of living under a mountain must have an almost suffocating effect on the young princess. Thorin was angry at himself now as he recalled his harsh words to Ila and the hurt that shown in her eyes when he levied them against her. He wanted to go to her that instant and apologize. But business would not allow for that at present.
"I will go to her after supper, when business has concluded for the day and make amends with her." Thorin said. Balin nodded and offered a suggestion.
"Perhaps you could summon her instead, take her out onto the balcony so that she may see the fading sky and get some fresh air like she is wanting. It would be a nice gesture to the princess I think."
Thorin weighed Balin's words and decided that he was right. "You seem to know a great deal about females…..how is that?" Thorin asked.
The old dwarf smiled warmly at him. "You don't get to be my age without knowing a thing or two about them. Not that I am any sort of expert on the matter."
Thorin smiled for the first time that day and left the conversation at that. He returned to his business with the men, intent on setting things right with Ila as soon as he had the opportunity.
Upstairs in her chambers Ila was back in bed, miserable and depressed. It was late in the day and Dwala had tried everything she could think of to lift Ila's spirits and convince her that she hadn't ruined everything forever. But it had been no use. Ila just lay there sniffling, a handkerchief balled in one hand.
"Ila please, you cannot cry forever. I am sure you are making this worse than it is." Dwala said soothingly.
"You didn't see the look in his eyes, Dwala. He hates me." Ila replied through lite sobs.
Just then a knock came at the door and Ila jumped.
"I'll get it, just stay there." Dwala said and disappeared into the antechamber. Supper had already come, so who could it possibly be, she wondered. Ila had a bad feeling and wondered if it wasn't a messenger saying she was to go home to her father, what with Thorin as angry as he was. Ila heard Dwala talking but couldn't make out her words. Not long after that she heard the door close again and Ila sat up to wait for Dwala to come back.
As she entered the room again Dwala had a bright smile on her face.
"I told you." She said cryptically.
"Told me what? Don't hold me in suspense Dwala, please."
"The king wants to see you." She answered.
"Dwala," Ila's voice began to break, "how is that a good thing?"
Dwala's face fell. "Oh Ila! If he was angry or upset with you as you say he would not be summoning you now. He would have you remain here as he commanded earlier. This is a good thing, I am sure." Dwala said, hoping she was right. And she felt pretty strongly that she was, but she had certainly been wrong before.
"I don't know…." Ila began but Dwala cut her off.
"Well, you cannot refuse him. So let's freshen you up and not keep him waiting. He is on the main balcony as we speak, apparently…." Dwala said and Ila turned to her in surprise.
"The balcony? But he was so angry that I ventured there!" She said and Dwala smiled again.
"So, that is probably a good sign. Now come to your vanity." Dwala instructed and Ila did so, her heart in her throat and as anxious as ever.
Dwala made quick work of getting Ila ready and soon they were on their way to the main balcony as ordered. Ila felt like she was going to wretch, running the many scenarios through her head of what he might want with her. She wondered for a brief moment if he would throw her over the side, but knew that that was silly, though he might indeed want to do just that.
Ila could see the balcony now, the fading light of day showing through to the great lobby. The sun was setting, though it would not be visible from the balcony that opened to the east. Ila ascended the steps leading to it and Dwala slowed her pace behind her, not wanting to follow too closely on her heels now. Ila slowed too and Dwala quietly urged her on for fear that she would stop altogether. Ila came to the opening and saw Thorin looking out over the land stretching in front of the mountain, his back to her. He looked so regal and majestic, even in repose. She took the rare moment to admire him before he realized she was there. Ila simply stood, waiting for him to turn and see her. When he did not, she very quietly spoke, "Your majesty."
Her voice trembled as she spoke and Ila mentally cursed herself for being so frightened. But her humility was much needed now and hopefully he would see from her demeanor just how sorry she was.
Thorin turned to look at her, his gaze without the anger it had been etched with that morning. It was solemn and calm. He looked a little unsettled himself, not the confident and stern dwarf king that the masses beheld.
"Princess Ila." He said in his rich baritone. He then looked past her at Dwala. "Maiden, if you don't mind." He said and Dwala bowed her head and stepped back inside, though remained in ear shot. She did not like leaving her lady alone with him, but she would do as he commanded.
Ila watched Dwala go, not liking it but saying nothing. She turned her head back to Thorin but averted her eyes from his.
Thorin did not immediately speak, but weighed on what to say exactly. He had been thinking about how to do this for much of the day and hadn't settled on a perfect way. But she was here now and he had to make amends with her. He saw how very afraid she was, heard how her very voice trembled to address him and hated himself for making her feel so.
"Princess…..Ila…." he began.
"I believe I owe you an apology. I was much too harsh with you this morning. Please forgive my ungracious behavior."
Ila's eyes widened and her mouth hung open (thank Mahal for her veil). The last thing she had expected was for him to apologize to her. She had been rehearsing her apology the entire journey there and so launched into it, not knowing what else to say in her shock.
"My king, it is I who must apologize. For disobeying you and saying that I felt like a prisoner. I did not mean to say such, rather I am more thankful than I can tell you for the many gifts and kind gestures you have bestowed upon me…" Ila said quickly to get it all out as he looked about to interrupt her.
Thorin moved closer to her, his face gentle now.
"No, no you do not need to do that. I know that I have been overly protective of you and that all of this is a great change from what you are used to. I should have been more understanding. I will endeavor to be in the future." He said and Ila believed with all her heart that he meant that. She felt her anxiety and fear melt away and be replaced by an endearment for him that she had not yet felt.
"And I will endeavor to be more obedient and understanding, as your subject and as your intended." Ila said sweetly and earnestly and it melted away any anger or frustration that Thorin had left. He was standing before her now and took her hands gently in his.
"So, we forgive each other then?" he asked.
Ila shook her head and Thorin could tell she was smiling.
His face turned more serious then as he continued.
"I want things to be well between us. I want us to be more than just king and queen…I want us to be husband and wife. Truly. Do you understand my meaning?" Thorin asked and Ila understood perfectly. It is what she wanted too.
"Yes, yes I do. I want the same." She replied and Thorin gave her hands a squeeze. He gently ran his thumbs over her knuckles, caressing them as he stared longingly into her eyes. Ila could not break the contact, for she fell headlong into the deep blue sea that were his beautiful eyes and she never wanted to come up again. She had forgotten everything that had happened that morning and every ill and troubling thought that had occurred to her since. She only wanted to stand on this balcony, with this dwarf, with the fading sky painted brilliant pinks and reds and purples above them forever. She wanted more of him, more of his soft caresses and his soothing voice. For a while they only regarded each other, listened to each other's breathing and enjoyed the light touches they dared exchange. Finally, as the sky grew dark, Thorin spoke again.
"I know you have been restless and lonely, I apologize that business with the men is taking so much of my time. I promise to make it up to you, but in my current absence, I will make sure you are entertained. Lord Balin tells me you would like to venture outdoors?"
"Yes, I have always favored being out of doors my king. Ila blushed and replied.
"I will see what I can arrange then." Thorin answered with a smile. "But now, I must attend to some things before I retire. You must be tired as well, with the long day you've had." He said with a tiny smirk.
Ila nodded and before she could turn to go, Thorin stepped in and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. It was quick and chaste but it raised goose bumps all over Ila's body. He pulled away and nearly whispered, "Goodnight princess."
Ila turned to go back inside, feeling as though she was walking on air. As she entered the palace, Dwala was standing just inside. Having heard everything, she barely even smiled as she said "Told you so," and fell in behind Ila as they made their way back, but with much quicker and lighter steps than before.
