I have to cancel going out. Right now, I am not emotionally stable to go out to a club. Where I'll be in close proximity of alcohol and random men. Whenever, there are men and alcohol involved I do incredibly idiotic things. It is what's best for myself, and my friends. Also, what doesn't help is that I'm laying in fetal position on my bed, bawling my eyes out. Definitely not a good idea to go out tonight.

"Ana? You home?" I hear Kate tell throughout my apartment, and I remain motionless. It's probably been hours when I last saw him. God, I can't even say his name. "Anastasia!"

Her footsteps stomp closer to my room, and I'm awaiting when she'll find me in my heartbroken state. Kate gasps, speeding walking over to my bed and sitting on the edge of my bed. She opens her mouth to say something, but I shake my head. I don't have the energy to explain to her what happened, or hear what she has to say. So she does what any best friend would do. Kate climbs into bed with me, and holds me closely to her, I continue sobbing into her chest.

"Shhh," she whispers, combing back my hair.

"It's over," I mumble.

"I know."

"You do?" She nods.

"He told me, and said you're going to need me." I clench my eyes shut, and wish this whole day never happened. "Try to get some sleep." And that's exactly what I try to do.

The next morning, I wake up to the smell of burnt bacon and waffles. It smells like it's Kate's attempt to make me breakfast, as I hear her swear for probably the hundredth time. I roll out of bed and shuffle towards my bathroom. My reflection almost scares me, my red eyes and dark bags are abnormal for me.

I make it out into the kitchen, and I almost laugh watching Kate find her way around the place. She has a finger in her mouth and flour all over her shirt. I lean against the counter and admire my best friend.

"Want to try not to make my kitchen look like a war zone?" I ask, and she turns to look at me.

"You're awake." Her eyes widen, and I nod.

"Yes, I am."

"You're supposed to sleep, and I bring you breakfast in bed." Kate states.

"I'm not hungry." I walk past her, starting to make myself some tea.

"How could you not be hungry?" I shrug.

"I'm just not."

"Well, okay. I'll just wrap this up and you can eat it later." She smiles, and I scrunch up my nose.

"I'll pass, thank you."

"Oh, come on!"

"I would like to live a full, and healthy life." Kate rolls her eyes.

"I can cook."

"You can't cook. There's a difference." There's a knock on my door. "I got it." I slowly walk over to the door, carrying my hot tea and I open it, without looking through the peephole.

"Hey, there." Mia whispers, and I raise a brow. "I brought bagels and your favorite green tea." She enters inside and hands me my drink.

"I didn't know you were coming over."

"Kate called me." I nod, tossing aside my old tea. "How are you holding up?" They both stare at me, their faces full of concern and sadness.

"I'm fine."

"Ana," Kate begs, and I sip my tea.

"I have an opportunity to work over at Vogue Paris temporarily," I reveal, wanting to change the subject.

"Oh, wow. Congratulations!" Mia exclaims. "Are you going to accept it?"

"I think I'm going to."

"You should." Kate voices, and I nod.

"You're right." I sigh.

I get off the phone with the woman running Vogue Paris, accepting their position. She sounded ecstatic, her thick French accent making it a little bit hard to understand her, but telling me I'll be starting at the end of the month. I need this new start. Time out of New York, and far away from him will do me some good.

Ray asked me out for lunch, and I'm happy to see my father, it's been too long. I change into a short-sleeved, black and white dress, pairing it with black slip on shoes. My hair is up in a slick, sleek bun. All set.

I meet Ray at a small bistro, and he's already seated at a table. He's always known for being on time for everything, I obviously didn't get that gene. Ray stands up when seeing me walk inside, and pulls me in for a hug.

"Annie, you made it." I breathe in the scent of my dad and feel instantly better.

"Of course, I did." We take our seats, and he hands me a menu.

"I'm happy to see you're off of work."

"You too." He rolls his eyes.

"So how is work?" I set my menu down and cross my hands.

"I'm actually going to be working in Paris for a little bit." His eyes widen.

"Good for you, Annie."

"You're not going to miss me?"

"I always miss you. You're my baby girl." I laugh, and he pats my hand. "And I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, dad."

"Have you told your mother?" I shake my head, reaching to munch on some bread.

"Not yet. I'm going to wait last minute to tell her before she tries to make me stay here and find me a husband." Ray chuckles.

"Good idea."

"I agree." We both order our meals and decide on splitting a pizza. I sip my lemon water and make sure to have my phone on vibrate.

"So, how are you and Christian?" Ray asks, and I almost choke on the bread.

"Huh?"

"Christian Grey? Your best friend. How are you two doing?" I nod, glancing down every few seconds.

"Uh, it's fine- we're fine." He raises a brow and rolls his eyes.

"You are the worst liar, Anastasia." I scoff. "I know when you're lying when you don't look me in the eye, and you bite your lip. Now, tell me the truth."

"We're sort of not friends anymore."

"And why not?"

"I just realized that he's not the person I thought he was." Ray nods.

"He's been through a lot."

"But that doesn't excuse him from doing terrible things."

"I know it doesn't, sweetheart. But maybe, one day Christian will realize all that he's done, and make a change." I shrug.

"I've given up all expectations of that happening."

"You never know what the future might hold." I roll my eyes.

"Are you going all Yoda on me?" He laughs.

"Oh, never, young Jedi." I smile.

A few days have past, and I'm on my last final day here at the New York office. One of the editors here, Jessica is going to take over my position here, while I'm away. She seems like she's capable for the job, and she's an excellent editor. I haven't seen Isabella since I spotted her in Christian's office that day, and I'm relieved. What do I even say? Maybe she's sending me away, so she can have Christian all to herself. I thought I respected her as a woman, and as my boss. But now I just feel sorry for her, and mostly for her husband.

Kate made sure to invite some of my friends and family to the office, throwing me a little going away party. She really went all out with the decorations, and food. It makes me appreciate her more for being my best friend. Right now, I'm wishing Christian was here, but I made myself very clear. No more with him. I do wish him the best, though, and hope he's okay.

"We're going to miss you, Ana!" One of the writers yells out to me, and I smile.

"I'm not going to be gone forever." I tease, and Kate sneaks up to me.

"I see you're wearing the outfit I picked out for you," she whispers. I'm wearing cream-colored pants, a white v necked tucked in with a light peach blazer.

"You gave me no choice." She rolls her eyes.

"I gave you a stylish choice." Mia comes bouncing over.

"I need to talk to you real quick," she says, and I nod. We walk away from Kate, into a secluded corner.

"What's up?"

"I just need to make sure you're going to be back, at least, two months before the wedding." I bite my lip.

"Most likely, I will be."

"Because I need my maid of honor."

"You're going to have me." She smiles and hugs me.

"I'm going to miss you so much." I giggle.

"It's just for a couple of months, not for too long."

"I know, I know. We just haven't been away from each other for this long before."

"We have FaceTime and email. Plus, aren't you coming to Paris soon to find your wedding dress?" Mia nods her head.

"Yes, I am! I'll make it a trip."

"Good." We hug once more, and I walk over to my mother, who's nursing her fourth glass of champagne.

"Anastasia!" she exclaims, and I grit my teeth.

"Mom!" Carla embraces me into her arms, making sure to give me a kiss on both of my cheeks.

"Do you really have to go?" she mutters.

"Yes, I do. It's my job."

"Your job should be finding a suitable husband, and having babies." I roll my eyes.

"Someday, maybe, mom." Well, hopefully, I do.

The party dies down, and I'm left alone in my office. I make sure to pack everything I need for my trip, and lock up some drawers in my desk. Before I go, I take in the incredible view from my office and smile. There's a knock on my door, and I turn around. I'm not at all expecting Christian to be standing in the doorway, looking all devilishly handsome and brooding.

"Are you really leaving?" he asks, leaning against the doorframe.

"What are you doing here?" I whisper, crossing my arms.

"Are you leaving because of me?" I shut my eyes for a few seconds, it's paining me to see him.

"No." Christian sighs.

"I miss you."

"Christian,"

"Ana," I bite my lip.

"Why are you here?" I ask, firmly.

"I need you in my life. I'm lost without you," he confesses, and he takes a step forward into my office. I remain still behind my desk, keeping a barrier between us.

"Stop it. I can't do this anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because I love you!" Christian freezes. "Because I'm in love with you."

"No, you can't be," he murmurs, and I roll my eyes.

"Yes, I am."

"No! No, no." Christian starts pacing the room, tugging on his hair. "I'm horrible for you, Ana. I don't deserve you."

"I know, I know."

"Then just stop loving me!" he exclaims.

"I can't!" I scream back. "I've tried multiple times not to."

"I'm sorry, Ana."

"I love you, but I can't keep doing this, Christian. It pains me to see you with other women, seeing that I can never be the only one. But I understand now that you're never going to change, that Caroline destroyed every last piece of your heart." He leans forward on the desk, trying to come closer to me.

"Ana, please," Christian begs."

"You need help. Let me help you."

"How?" I take a deep breath.

"Start seeing Flynn, and stop sleeping around. When I'm away, try bettering yourself and be the man I know you can someday be again."

"I'll do it for you." I shake my head.

"No, do it for yourself. Promise me." I whisper.

"I promise, Ana."

"Good."


I'm trying my best to update much more frequently! Please, review. Oh! Don't forget to check out my Pinterest Page.