Chapter 10 As Time Goes By

Bella's POV

So, William planned to go with us to Washington. I wasn't at all surprised.

Renee was beside herself revelling in the young love she was witnessing develop before we left. She kept going on about how magical it all was. If she only knew.

I tried to ignore them as much as possible on the flights and layovers, but when they came up for air William would become a Chatty Kathy. He asked me my story about meeting the Cullens and my relationship with Edward. He had known about Alice's gift already as Emmett had made several comments about it, but he didn't know about Jasper's and Edward's talents.

Leah was surprised to hear of them all. I hadn't felt comfortable sharing with any of the pack. I hadn't felt right talking to them much at all about this kind of thing. I talked a few times with Jacob after I realized he was a wolf, but I never told him about any of this. Of course, I supposed that they would all know, now. This kind of information would be considered important. I felt a bit guilty about it, but I figured they would gain a great education about vampires from William. -Straight from him or via Leah.

We also discussed his inability to read me and what that might mean. He called me a "shield, " because my mind is protected like a shield would a warrior. I contemplated that for a bit. He seemed to be mulling it over as well, but I guessed he gave up too.

I asked him if he had met someone who smelled better than the rest. He said he hadn't but he knew others bragged about the high they achieved from killing them. He informed me that some referred to someone like that as a vampire's "singer," because their blood sings or calls to them.

He was surprised about the way the Cullens had simply left. He explained more about the Volturi to me than Edward had. He had only told me that only vampires who wanted to die would cross them. Apparently, the Cullens were now at risk of destruction because of Edward's decision to neither kill me nor turn me. It was against the Volturi's rules. They made the law and reinforced it, swiftly.

It made me feel that Rosalie must like me a little to put her existence at risk for me, or maybe that was about Edward. As long as the Volturi were unaware, they were fine, but with my luck...

As I was watching Leah get to know William, I was struck by the reality of the completeness that they were for each other. They were cemented to each other for ever. They would never part from each other for very long a span of time because they had found each other.

There was quite a stir upon our return. Sue and Seth had had enough time to be able to come to some level of acceptance of the imprinting. Sue greeted us warmly. She even hugged William. I couldn't believe it. I thought maybe she was happy that Leah was happy. Of course, understanding the premise of imprinting likely helped her.

Charlie was incredulous that Sue was so ready to understand the fairy tale "love at first sight" story that he was given. She only said, "Sometimes you know right away, sometimes love comes a bit more slowly" then she smiled and kissed him on the cheek. He eyed William suspiciously. I decided to be proud of him for having fatherly feelings and worry on Leah's behalf. Or maybe he noticed the similarity to the Cullens. He wasn't dumb.

Leah and William were determined to keep her part of the lease on our apartment. They paid up my rent and bought a secluded house nearer to the mountains. They were supposed to pay through the end of the lease, but William was a very sneaky vampire. He paid through my projected graduation with a couple months to spare. Leah finished the semester but planned to take time off. By tribal law, they were married when the imprinting happened, but they went to a Justice of the Peace so that Uncle Sam would be appeased as well.

The pack was still trying to figure out what then purpose of this was. Because of the pack's response Leah changed her mind about taking a break, continued culinary school, and graduated at the top of her class in order to show them she was making good decisions. She hoped those who were angry about the situation might be silenced by her strength and determination. Of course it had little affect on them. Stubborn people are difficult to sway one way or the other.

Three years of study passed for me, too, and I graduated. It had been a simple nose to the grindstone time. I enjoyed the subject I was studying. I knew I needed to look into graduate school to further my studies, but I wasn't sure where I wanted to go. I'd heard that it wasn't considered the best training for a person to stay in one learning institution. Of course opinion varies on that subject, but it seemed like a plausible excuse to give Charlie. I took the GRE's so that part was done, but I felt I should wait.

My intuition was telling me there needed to be a pause. I had volunteered hundreds of hours, raised funds for causes, travelled for summer mission trips with a campus ministry group (I helped dig a well for village on the African continent, even) and tutored kids at a local school. I had given a great deal of myself without having any huge calamities befall me. I thought I might need a break. I hadn't been taking my vacations. I had started working for a restaurant that a friend of Leah's opened. I was a busy chick. I thought it was more than just needing a break.

I almost didn't actually attend my graduation myself but when I mentioned that at Christmas, I was informed that seeing me walk across that stage was the right of those who had supported me. Everyone was planning to come: the pack, Charlie and Sue, Phil and Renee, and Leah and William.

Jake organized a party at a hotel convention room for me over spring break. He had some connection to the management there from the trade school he attended. He knew everything about mechanics already, being nearly a prodigy in the field (he thought), but a diploma or certificate to hang on your garage office wall did something to encourage folks who didn't know you. I thought he had done well to think ahead in such a manner. I also thought he had had tons of fun with it.

When the big day came, I couldn't believe my friends and family would really want to put themselves through the long drawn out ceremony. Well, it was more of a stand up and turn the tassel thing, but in a university as huge as this, it takes a long time. I still wished I just stayed home. Diplomas are often mailed anyway. Most of them did come and sit through the long list of names. I felt loved. I was tired, overwhelmed, and ready to get out of the stupid heels I chose to wear - even though they were a beautiful electric blue. They made me feel like Alice was near me.

My guests waited for me to sneak off to a restroom and brush my hair that the hat had mussed by the cap. I had stashed some flats in my bag just in case. I was right. Those heels were sitting shoes which were right for sitting. Once I had to walk, they needed to go. I switched them out.

As I walked out to look for them, I found them congregated a few feet away. As I approached, Quil patted me on the head, "Has anyone noticed she's like a little porcelain doll?"

Jake smiled and added, "Hmmh... I don't know. I think dolls might be sturdier."

Seth wrapped his arm around me and said, "Now, don't pick on my little sister, guys. That's my job." They all laughed. I was trying to behave nicely and not swat them all, though that would have hurt me worse than them.

Phil decided to save me, "Let's take her out somewhere special to eat so she can be picked on with a full tummy." I took what repreive I could get.

I got to pick so we went to the restaurant that Leah had worked in for a while, called "The Cliff Dive." It had two sides. One part was a dance club and the other side had a nice sit down atmosphere. They did not connect by anything more than the kitchen. Servers and menus were separate but the chef staff were the same. I never went over to the dance club side, so I couldn't even tell anyone about it when they asked while we were driving over. Dancing was still not something I was interested in. I was still l a bit too clumsy.

I rode over in Quil's car since Sue, Phil, and Renee filled Charlie's little Prius. He finally got a car that wasn't his work car (the cruiser) and settled on a pre-owned hybrid. It was burnt orange. It reminded me of a lighter auburn version of Jake as a wolf, just smaller.

Quil was very proud of his shiny white 1996 Chevy Baretta. It's outer door handle opened differently from other cars. He and Jake had fixed up as a class project at their trade school. It had been sitting in the rez's high school psychology teacher's back yard since his second was born. It had still worked then, but when his family went to using their mini van and small sedan all the time some of the inner workings that I know nothing about froze up or rusted or something. Jake and Quil had fun on the body work too. They bragged about how they made it look and sound show room worthy.

In Quil's Baretta (other than me) was Jake, Seth, and Embry. They all agreed that they were my date. The whole group of them. This meant they were planning to mercilessly tease me all evening long. They were my brothers.

Kim, Emily, Claire, and Billy were in the Rabbit that still was purring like a kitten with the good care it received all these years. The girls were going to take care of Billy and make sure he wasn't feeling unappreciated. He was still sullen about Charlie and Sue, but he was putting it aside for friendship's sake. He did truly care for the pair. He was just jealous. He was staving off becoming a crumugeon, though.

I sat in the back between Seth and Embry. They seemed intent on not allowing Jake to sit beside me. There was some strange tension between the four that I had no knowledge of the cause, unless it had to do with Jake's crush on me. He told me he was seeing someone, but he never told me her name or any other specifics. Since he was disinclined to share, I didn't pry. I wouldn't want anyone being nosey into my business.

I asked, "So, what happened with Leah and William? They really didn't give a good excuse. They said something about one of the shutters on the house being loose. I didn't think that was anything to stay home about."

They looked around at each other, except for Quil who seemed relieved to be driving. Seth finally said, "Sometimes I think it must just be weird to be married to a vampire and have to be worried about being in large crowds, afraid that he might eat somebody."

Was William having issues? Was he worried about someone smelling better than the others? Maybe it was better they didn't come. But something about all this seemed way off. It took them too long to come up with that.

We finally arrived at "The Cliff Dive" and Seth helped me out of the car. He looked at the others and said, "Should we take her cliff diving for real sometime?" I remembered seeing them that one time before Jake's change when we were trying out our motor cycles.

I responded as their mischievous grins grew, "You know guys, you are a bit more sturdy than I am and the lure of danger doesn't seem to be as much for me as it used to be. I haven't even ridden my bike in some time."

"Maybe you should try riding a wolf, then. That would be a bit safer," Jake interjected. Seth growled at the double entendre and stood between us. "I just meant that I know she enjoyed speed and I think we all know why. Not gonna say it right out." He raised his hands palm out in a peaceful gesture. "Bella, all I'm saying is that if you ever crave that feeling of wind on your face, anyone of us would be happy to provide you a safe means of satisfying it. And I'm always ready to ride bikes, too." He looked at Seth with an expression of innocence, "I'm being nice."

The others had arrived by then and we all went into be seated. We took up two large round tables. The servers were familiar with Seth and me. We had been here with Leah several times while she worked here. She had been a sous chef.

Now I wondered what those two would do with their endless time together. Perhaps they could open a mountain resort where they could cook for people together. A little bed and breakfast sounded quaint. What did they dream of? I really needed to see them. I planned to go as soon as I could. I just had to pack up my apartment before my lease was up and find something to do with myself.

What was I going to do with myself? It was the talk around the table. My degree gave me many possibilities, but more and more my thoughts were distracting me lately. I wanted to find him before too long. I was becoming impatient.

My answer to them? "I have a few leads out for jobs in my field. I have plenty of good references between the restaurant where I work, professors, and volunteer supervisors. But I'm thinking I'm gonna move my stuff to Dad's soon so I don't have to worry about things, if that's alright with you, Dad." He smiled and nodded as if that idea pleased him.

"What about grad school?" Billy asked. "Wouldn't that give you more choices for your future?"

"Sure, I've taken the Graduate Placement Exam already, I'm just not sure which one I want to go to. It seems prudent to save up a little money before I jump into that though."

Sue looked at me knowingly but didn't say anything. She knew my patience with destiny was wearing thin. I wondered if she had told anyone. Did anyone else know about her gift? I'm sure the others on the council did, but I wasn't sure about the others -especially those around this table. Billy had to know, but did Jake or Seth? I was almost certain Charlie did not know.

When the menus came around I looked at it. The mushroom ravioli nostalgically smacked me in the appetite, so that's what I ordered. I didn't think I paid much attention to the flavor of that order in my memory, but I was sure that this hadn't measured up. The night had not, anyway. The company while loving was leaving me empty.

When the boys dropped me off at my apartment (walking me in and playfully looking around for hidden scary things), I gave them a light hearted good-bye. "See you, soon." I vowed.

After an hour and a half or so I received a text from Seth. "Up for a talk?" I immediately called him.

"Is everything ok?" I asked as soon as he picked up. He laughed to assuage my fears, "Everything is ok here, I just wanted to check on you after Jake went on his double meaninged rant."

"Oh," I sighed, " Yeah, I'm ok, Seth, don't you worry about me."

"It's my job to worry about my sisters." He said

"And since Leah has William to protect her, I suppose you need to exercise your fraternal care more fully in my direction." I teased.

"Let's get this straight. It is my job to worry about you both until the end of time." He sounded concerned about something, though. "She worries about you and me too. It's a whole sibling thing. She taught it to me." He exhaled irritated at something. If whatever was bothering him was what drove him to call me, I'd talk till he felt like he could say what it was.

"I love you guys, too" I responded the best way I knew how.

"It's just that I could see the feelings you're pushing down when he pressed his agenda on you. I don't like that it makes you uncomfortable. You should be able to be free with your friends. Especially those who know you are still hurting." He spoke so soothingly. I thought he'd make a good therapist. We'd never broached this subject. I assumed that he had heard my conversations with Leah and Jake, probably even Quil when they were connected as a pack.

Leah told me they could hear each other's thoughts when I talked to William about Edward's gift. She wondered how I could stand him knowing my every thought. Then I explained how he couldn't hear me and William explained about his gift and he couldn't read me either.

"I haven't talked to you much about it Seth, but I guess I should tell someone. It's getting harder. I feel so torn apart inside. I made a decision to be stronger some time ago for myself as much as for my parents and now you all who love me." I breathed, "Its still fresh. I didn't think there would be anyway to move on. I'm not tempted remotely in any way by Jake. I thought once about lusting after him. I know how willing he'd be, but it's just not in me at all. I can't get past his warmth."

We were quiet for a few minutes. "I was surprised that he was acting like that, though. I thought he's been dating some chick somewhere for almost a year."

"Don't mention it." He groaned, "He's still seeing her, but it's not really a good relationship. They're just using each other to fill their... Uh... needs."

"Oh, gross Seth! Does he make you guys relive stuff?" I felt so sorry for everyone in the pack at that instant.

"You have no idea how terrible it is." He paused, "The others can't help it when they're so in love, but he kind of taunts us with it. As if it were on purpose. It's not been so bad lately. I'm just afraid he's gonna see her tonight and I'll have to see it tomorrow. I kind of think he uses it to block us out from something he doesn't want to share. I haven't a clue what that might be. It's always worse near your birthday."

I couldn't believe Jake was like that. I couldn't imagine what had brought him to the point that he would be like that. But then, as he saw it I had chosen a vampire over him. As I saw it, there had been no choice. I'd rather have Jake as my friend, anyway. I was glad I never succumbed to lusting after Jake. Everyone would know everything. How embarrassing would that be? I wouldn't be able to stand it. Especially if he was the type to make his friends watch his memories. That's kind of sick. What would my birthday have to do with anything? Probably it was coincidence. (Forget rule 39, Jethro.)

"Seth, I'm thinking of going to see Leah and William soon. Do you think that's a good idea?" He was quiet for a second too long making me worry, but he said, "I think Mom was close to begging you to go. She says that Leah needs you."

"What's going on Seth?" I asked, fear growing inside me by the instant.

"You're going to have to see for yourself, but Mom wanted me to call you to tell you that it's important. No imperative that you go soon. Before the week is out. I'm bound by alpha command to not tell any more than that. Mom thinks you have an answer or something. I've been taking my time to get to the point of this call because I was afraid you'd think it was crazy, especially because I can't tell you specific important details."

"You can't tell me? But Sue says it's important." I said gravely, "You tell Sue that there are few people's whose words I take as seriously as hers. I will wrap things up here quickly. Then I'll go as soon as I can. Do you have time to come help me?"

"I'll come now. If my alpha finds out what all my mom knows from me, he might find a way to slow you down. It's not all about Leah and William either." On that cryptic note, he hung up and I prepared my oversized couch for company.

A/N Sorry this update was so long coming. I practically rewrote this chapter twice and then split it in two. It's much better for it.

Thanks,

JaelSarjenka