so another fairly long chappy to make up for the long wait...hope everyone enjoys!! thanks for reading and for the awesome reviews!! bambers;)

Chapter Ten

"You just left my Porsche unlocked in a cemetery, an' didn't think someone might steal it?" Rowan grumbled from the backseat of Jason's cherry-red 1968 Chevy Nova. He leaned forward on the seat, resting his arms on the backrest, and heaved an exasperated groan. "It was a freakin' brand new Porsche for Christ's sake. Which I know means nothing to people who only buy cars from junkyards, an' call 'em fixer uppers. But in the real world cars are supposed to cost more than a hundred dollars, an' that's why expensive cars like my Porsche get stolen. So . . . the lesson in this is that we don't leave Rowan's expensive car behind an' take Jason's piece of junk when leaving a graveyard in the future."

"Thought I told you to call me JD?" Pretending to stretch, Jason elbowed Rowan in the face, and snorted a laugh when he saw the vampire grabbed for his nose while cursing under his breath. "An' since you paid for this car as well, I really don't see what you're complaining about."

"That's right, I did, didn't I." Rowan smirked as he wrapped his arm around Jason's neck and roughly jerked him backward in his seat. He leaned closer, his face within mere inches of Jason's and hissed, "Which means that you're gonna find my car or I'm taking yours, Jason, an' then I'm gonna buy you a minivan to drive around in."

"Le' go of him, Rowan," Dean mumbled hoarsely. Tilting his head to the side, he pried his eyes open and then narrowed them to a squint, but could only make out to two blurred shadows beside him. "Think ya could turn off the radio," he licked his dried, cracked lips, "the noise is hurtin' my head."

"Not a problem." Jason hastily complied as he gave Rowan a worried look through the rearview mirror. "We'll be in Charlotte in about forty-five minutes then about another fifteen minutes to Rowan's cabin."

"He really doesn't need an update on when we'll get to my place every five minutes, Jason."

"I'm jus' tryin' to help here, Vampinstein," Jason snapped, "forgive me if I'm not used to havin' a dyin' guy in my front seat. Although this is probably nothing new for you, I'd imagine."

"Naww . . .I usually tend to drive around with smart asses who don't know when to keep their mouths shut before they lose their vacation pay." Rowan lifted a single brow as he cast a devilish grin in Jason's direction. "By the way, aren't you supposed to be on vacation right now?" he chuckled as he added, "Oh, I so wouldn't be expecting to see that paycheck if I were you."

"You can't do that," Jason growled, slamming his hand down hard on the steering wheel, "I haven't had a vacation in almost four years an' you promised."

"I've decided that I'm givin' you my Porsche instead of vacation pay this year . . . it's also your Christmas bonus. Enjoy."

"But your Porsche was stolen."

"All the more reason for you to find it then I guess."

"R-Rowan," Dean cried out, instantly halting the two men from arguing any further. "S-Somethin's not r-right . . . g-gonna be s-sick."

"Stop the car!" Rowan ordered, although he didn't have to as Jason slammed on the brakes and swerved to the shoulder of the road.

Jason flung open the door and leapt out of the car with Rowan following directly behind him. Darting around to the passenger's side, Rowan helped Dean out of the car. Dean didn't even make it two feet before he fell to his knees, doubled over and wretched violently. Blood leaked from the younger vampire's eyes and nose as he continued to throw up his own lifeblood. Dean choked and gasped for breath as blood continued to spew from his mouth and nose.

"C-Can't br-breathe," Dean gasped as he struggled to draw in air.

"Dean, listen to me." Rowan dropped down in front of his friend, not the least bit concerned that he was kneeling the younger man's bloody vomit. He gripped hold of both sides of Dean's face and forced him to look up at him. "You're a vampire. You don't need to breathe to live. Do you hear me? You don't need it." He glanced up at Jason, and ordered, "Get me a knife now," then refocused his attention on his ailing friend. "You do however need blood, an' you're losin' yours way too quickly."

"Is he gonna be alright?" Jason asked as he quickly unsheathed his blade and handed it to Rowan.

Without bothering to answer Jason, Rowan yanked back his shirt sleeve and dug the blade deep into his veins. "You trust me, Dean?" He waited until he saw a weak nod come from his friend then proceeded onward. "Jason go back an' lock yourself inside the car, an' whatever you do, don't you dare come back out here."

"What the hell are you gonna do?" Jason stubbornly stood his ground. "An' why'd you cut your arm open?"

"Hopefully the smell of my blood will cover your scent," he said as he surveyed their surroundings and noticed a forest not too far in the distance. "He's losin' all his blood . . . an' once he realizes he doesn't need to breathe to live, he's gonna be so damn hungry, an' you're gonna be the first thing he goes after."

"So I should wait in the car then," Jason gulped as he hitched a thumb over his shoulder toward his vehicle, "gotcha."

"Smart boy, I knew you'd see things my way."

Not waiting for Jason to do as he had asked, Rowan rose to stand and hauled Dean to his feet. Hefting the younger vampire over his shoulder, Rowan grimaced as Dean's flailing arms smacked against the jagged welts on his back. Mindful of his own waning strength, Rowan made his way deep into the forest as quickly as he possibly could. Gently setting the younger vampire down to rest again a tree trunk, Rowan knelt beside him. For several seconds he watched as his friend continued to struggle for breath as blood continued to trickle from his mouth, nose and eyes. Dean continued to gasp and choke on his own blood, the muscles and veins in his neck bulging as he desperately tried to draw in air.

"You have to let go of the need to breathe, Dean," he finally uttered in a low hoarse whisper. "Cause if you don't you're never gonna make it out of this damn forest alive."

Clutching at his throat, Dean looked to Rowan with wild green eyes, silently pleading with him to help him. "Just relax, Dean." Rowan pried Dean's hand away from his throat and grabbed for the other one as well. As he held both the younger man's hands in a firm grip to stop him from writhing about, Rowan met and held his friend's terrified gaze. "The most basic of human needs is the need to breathe. So basic in fact that a person does it without ever having to even think about it. But on a certain level a vampire must subconsciously think about it because it's not necessary to our survival."

Letting go of Dean's hands, Rowan shifted to sit beside him, and wrapped a protective arm around the younger vampire in a comforting manner. "An' I know this whole being a vamp thing is new to you, an' every ingrained instinct says you need to breathe to live, but you have to trust me on this." As Dean listened his posture relaxed slightly while his attempts to draw in air dwindled. "That's it, Dean, jus' let go, an' I swear you'll be okay. I'm not about to let anything bad happen to ya."

All the tension eased from Dean's body as he closed his eyes and stopped struggling to breathe. Within a matter of moments, the blood stopped trickling from his mouth and nose, and a few seconds afterward the blood dripping from his eyes returned to normal tears. "Wh-why didn't you tell me th-this before?" he asked in a strained whisper.

"Truthfully, I was hoping I'd never have to tell you." Rowan shrugged. "An' I was actually kinda hoping that you wouldn't be a vamp long enough that you'd be forced to fully embrace what you are."

"Really hungry," Dean muttered, not wanting to think of what it meant to fully embrace the idea of being a vampire.

"Yeah, you lost a helluva lot of blood, so I knew you would be." Rowan glanced down at his bloodied wrist and swore under his breath. Although his blood would sustain Dean's hunger for a while, it wouldn't give him the strength he needed to fight against the sickness raging inside of him. "Aww . . . damn it all to hell," he hissed as he thought of the one thing that might help his friend, but knew Dean would resoundingly object. "I know I ask you this a lot, Dean, but how much do you really trust me?"

"With my life, you know that," Dean replied without the slightest hesitation.

"Good, cause I don't want you to argue with me about this." Rowan unsheathed the knife from Dean's holster, and pressed it into Dean's hand. "I need you to kill me an' then take my heart."

Dean immediately drew away from him while shaking his head emphatically. "What the hell are you talkin' about? I'm not gonna kill you."

"You have to, it's the only way I can think of to keep you alive long enough to save your life." Rowan swallowed hard, and cast Dean his most winsome smile, trying his damnedest not to show how terrified he was at the thought of losing his heart even if it was only temporarily. "Once I'm dead, you cut out my heart an' you eat it. Understand me? It'll give you the strength you need to survive until we find Jax."

"What are you out of your freakin' mind?" He dropped the knife as he continued to shake his head. "I'm not gonna do it, so don't bring it up again."

"Dean, you have no choice in the matter," Rowan argued, snatching the blade off the ground. "It's not like I'll stay dead for very long. An' if you really think about it, it's no worse than drinking my blood to survive."

"It's your damn heart we're talkin' about here, Rowan, an' don't tell me that doesn't scare the hell out of you cause I can feel how terrified you are."

"You wanna see Sam again?" Rowan countered, knowing it was a low blow, but also understood that it was probably the only thing that would get the young hunter to see things his way. "If we don't do this now, you can forget about ever seeing him again."

An unmistakable look of guilt crossed Dean's features as he briefly considered Rowan's offer. "Don't do that, don't bring Sammy into this."

"Why not, Dean? You sold your soul for him." Rowan quirked a brow as he held the knife out to Dean. "You'd do anything for him. So we can argue about this all night long, but you know in the end you're gonna do whatever you need to do to be back with your brother again."

"An' if I agree to this, worst case scenario, what happens to you?"

Rowan lowered his head, not able to meet Dean's gaze as he replied, "Truthfully, I don't know. It's not like I go around an' give my heart away every time something kills me." He chuckled, trying to make light of the situation, but his laughter quickly died away as he saw Dean scowl.

"I don't see anything funny about what you're askin' me to consider." Dean's scowl deepened as he snatched the knife out of Rowan's hand. "What if I do this an' you come back different?"

"What does it matter, you've already decided." Rowan nudged his head toward the blade that Dean held in a firm grasp. Grasping hold of both sides of his shirt, Rowan ripped it open and nudged his head in the direction of his heart. "Jus' make it quick cause the last time you killed me it hurt like hell."

"Are you sure there's no other way?"

"Well, there's always Jason. You could kill him instead." Rowan smirked as Dean heaved an aggravated groan. "Course if you do kill him, he isn't gonna come back tomorrow. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I think he might object."

"Please don't make me do this," Dean uttered in a hoarse whisper, ignoring his friend's attempt at humor. "I don't wanna hurt you."

"My strength lies within my heart, Dean, an' I'm givin' it to you so you can protect Joshua." Rowan squeezed his eyelids closed, mentally preparing himself for the pain he knew was inevitable. "You have to let me do this for you."

"I'm so sorry," Dean mumbled, tears trailing down his cheeks as he raised the knife and drove it into Rowan's chest. "Oh God, I'm so sorry . . . so damn sorry," he cried out over and over again as he shakily wielded the blade, carving out his best friend's heart. Rowan's screams and cries of pain echoed throughout the forest, and then all to quickly faded away as he slumped to the ground.

With his friend's still beating heart in his hand, Dean fell back against the tree, his own heart shattering at the thought of what he had just done. "Oh God, what did I do . . . what the hell did I do?" Tears slipped silently down his face as he wrapped his arm around Rowan's lifeless body. "Why the hell did I listen to you . . . why'd you let me do this to you?"

A sob caught in his throat as Rowan's words came back to haunt him. So we can argue about this all night long, but you know in the end you're gonna do whatever you need to do to be back with your brother again. The elder vampire had been right, and that thought terrified Dean. It was one thing if he bargained with his own life, but now he had risked Rowan's. What if he comes back different? Damn it, he's been tryin' so damn hard to redeem himself, an' if he comes back changed it could ruin everything for him.

"I can't do this," he muttered with a curt shake of his head as he hungrily eyed the bloodied heart clenched in his hand. "I'm not like this . . . I'm not a vampire," he denied even as he heard Jason's strong heartbeat not too far in the distance, and felt the pang of hunger in his stomach grow at an alarming rate.

It's the only way, Dean, he heard Rowan's stoic voice fill his mind. You know it's true or you would've never gone this far . . . so jus' do it an' get it over with.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Dean brought the heart up to his mouth and bit down hard, ripping through it with his sharpened fangs. As the vampire's blood coated Dean's mouth, a deep primal need sparked within him, and any other conscious thought escaped him as he chewed through the sinewy muscle. Thick, bittersweet blood squirted from Rowan's heart valves into Dean's mouth as he voraciously tore through the organ, devouring it within a matter of minutes.

Dean swiped the back of his hand across his face as his gaze fell to his friend's prone body, then he peered down at the blood staining his flannel shirt, and a wave of sickness crashed down upon him. Hastily covering his hand over his mouth, he twisted around and wretched violently behind the tree.

After several very long minutes, his stomach finally began to settle, and slowly he made his way to his feet. With tears silently trailing down his cheeks, he carefully lifted Rowan's lifeless body off the ground, and repositioned him into a fireman's carry.

Dean hadn't even taken two steps toward Jason's car when his knees buckled and he dropped to the ground. Everything shifted in and out of focus as a strange buzzing filled his ears. The ringing sound rapidly changed to the sound of low voices. Images flashed behind his closed eyelids; at first they were dark and distorted, but soon they became a little more clear. Sudden realization struck him that one of the voices he was hearing belonged to Rowan, and the images shifting through his mind were his friend's memories.

"Damn it, Rowan, you can't trust him," a man who looked strikingly similar to Sam said as he grabbed hold of Rowan's arm and swung him back to face him. "He tells you to make this goddamn gun that can supposedly kill anything, an' you just blindly go an' believe him?"

"He said it was my only chance, Micheal Dean, so yeah, I do trust him." Rowan shrugged free of the younger man's hold on him and turned his back on his friend. "I have to . . . I've lived long enough. I've paid the price for my sins a thousand times over an' I'm ready to die. So if it means listening to what Lucifer has to say then that's just what I plan on doing."

Undaunted the dark-haired man with hazel eyes shifted his position so he was once again standing in front of Rowan. "An' what if he told you how to make this gun . . . this Colt so he could use it to his own benefit after your gone?" Micheal Dean crossed his arms as he glared at the vampire. "What if by making this weapon, you become even more damned than you already are? Did you ever think of that in your ceaseless quest to end your life?"

"I can't possibly be any more damned than I already am," Rowan stubbornly argued, tilting his chin defiantly as he glared up at the taller man. "You have no idea what it's like to know that everyone around you will eventually die an' leave you behind, an' yet your stuck living on endlessly."

"Well, I won't help you. I won't do what you asked me to do." Tears brimmed in the younger man's eyes as he adamantly shook his head. "You're the best friend I've ever had, an' no matter how many times you ask me, you'll never die by my hand."

"Then you aren't really my friend." Rowan once again turned his back on Micheal Dean and strode away.

Dean was abruptly pulled from the vision as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Startled, Dean jerked around and saw Jason towering over him with a machete in hand. His menacing gaze ticked from Dean to Rowan and then down to the blood covering Dean's shirt and splattered on his jeans.

"One thing I've learned from being a part of the Brethren is that you never trust a filthy vamp." He gestured toward Rowan's lifeless body then to Dean's shirt. "Cause one day you'll wake up an' find yourself on the wrong side of his fangs."