Chapter Ten
New and Improved Super Harry

A couple of hours passed in which everyone was still in the Three Broomsticks, passionately kissing. All except for Ron and Peter, of course, since no convenient Mary Sues had appeared to sweep them away. They could always just kiss each other... Or not.

Peter idly picked at the loose splinters on his chair. "I'm bored."

Ron heaved a depressed sigh. "Me too. I want to leave." He tapped Harry on the shoulder and his friend reluctantly broke away from Aurelia. "Do you think we could leave? Peter and I are bored."

"But we're all having such a great time!" cried Harry. "I'm with Aurelia, Hermione is with Remus, and— Wait, where did James and Sirius go?"

"A couple of stunningly beautiful girls appeared out of nowhere. I'm sure the four of them are around here somewhere," Ron answered. "I wonder what they're doing."

"Do we want to know what they're doing?" said Peter.

Ron made a face. "You're right."

"Harry?" said Aurelia. "My lips have been inactive for almost a minute now! They can't handle such inactivity!"

"There will be plenty of other times to kiss," Harry promised her. "Ron and Peter want to leave, so I guess we'll have to listen to the crybabies."

"Crybabies?" echoed Ron, his voice going high-pitched and squeaky. He clamped a hand over his mouth. "Stupid squeaky voice..."

"Crybabies?" echoed Peter with a sniffle. Tears sprang to his beady little eyes. "Y-you're mean!"

Harry tapped Remus on the shoulder. "Let's go outside and find a shop to browse through. We can go to Honeyduke's and trick Peter into eating cockroach clusters!" He kept his voice down low so that Peter couldn't hear him. The little rat was too busy sobbing to hear anything anyway.

Remus took his lips off of Hermione's. "Okay. Where are Sirius and James?"

Harry and Remus both stood up and pushed in their chairs, ready to search for their missing friends. They hadn't walked ten feet, however, when Sirius suddenly showed up looking rather sad. "Vivia Sparklestorm suddenly dropped dead when I told her that I was from the past and I couldn't take her with me."

"That's too bad," said Harry, unable to keep the relief out of his voice. "Where's James?"

The girl named Emerald Whisperwand suddenly huffed out of a room looking angry about something. She was muttering to herself under her breath.

"What's wrong with her?" Remus asked.

"James told her that she was going to be his back-up girlfriend in case Lily turned him down," Sirius answered. "Emerald wasn't too happy about that."

A few seconds later, James appeared. "Emerald? Come on, you should feel honored to be a possible back-up girlfriend for me!" Emerald had disappeared, however.

"We're leaving," Harry told him and Sirius. "We all decided that now would be good time to advance the pathetic excuse for a plot!"

Everyone then left the Three Broomsticks and strolled out into the street to do various wizardly things. Hermione pointed at something down the road. "Hey look, Remus! It's you in the future!"

"Really?" said Remus.

The modern Remus Lupin was strolling down the road with Professor Lavendella Midnightshine. Sixteen year-old Remus set eyes on Lavendella and his mouth dropped open. "Whoa! I get her in the future? I can't wait!"

"Hey, who do I get in the future?" Sirius asked.

Harry looked away from Sirius and fidgeted slightly. "Um... well... Let's just say things are over before you get any opportunity."

"What's that supposed to be mean?"

Ron spoke up. "It's means you're going to die alone and single."

"What? I hate the future!"

"What about me?" Peter asked.

"Er... Hey, let's go into Honeyduke's!" said Harry, hastily changing the subject. He really didn't feel like telling Peter about him and Lily, in case James became furious and killed Peter on the spot.

Harry, Ron, Aurelia, Hermione, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all entered the candy shop. As Harry reached over and touched a box of Fizzing Whizbees, a hazy, smoky figure suddenly rose out of the box. As the smoke cleared, the figure took on the shape of what looked Dobby, except the ears were smaller, the eyes were blue, and its voice was deeper. "Harry Potter!"

Harry was very confused. "Yes?"

"Are you Harry Potter?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Positive?"

"YES!"

"Okay." The creature stared at Harry and scratched one of its ears. "Harry Potter, today is a very important day for you. For I am... Dobby's cousin, Bobbie! Mwahaha!"

"I didn't know Dobby had a cousin," said Harry. "And how come you don't speak like ordinary house-elves do? You know, the speaking in third person thing?"

"I am a genie-house-elf! I get to speak however I want!" Bobbie leaned in closer and his voice became serious. "Harry Potter, today is your special, drastically important day! For this is the day in which I endow you with... super powers!" He spread his arms in the air and was silent, for a dramatic effect.

Harry stared blankly at him. "Super powers? Oh please. That's the lamest thing I've ever heard of!"

"Yes, I know! Which is why I am giving them to you!" Bobbie closed his eyes, hummed for a few minutes, and then snapped his fingers. A cloud of blue sparks erupted above Harry's head.

"What just happened?" Harry asked.

"I gave you the super powers, you fool! Now go off and use them for the good of mankind. Or be stupid and blow up the earth. I don't care either way. Now good day to you, Harry Potter!" Bobbie once again became shrouded in smoke, and began to fade away until he at last disappeared.

"What was that all about?" Ron wanted to know.

"I don't know," said Harry. He shrugged his shoulders and bright red laser beams shot out of his shoulder blades, blasting two small holes in the wall.

"Whoa!" said Sirius. "How did you do that?"

"I was endowed with super powers."

"What else can you do?" James asked.

Harry concentrated for a moment, and suddenly gasped. "Oh no! My eyes!" He hastily shielded them with a hand.

"What's the matter, Harry?" Ron asked.

"I have x-ray vision," his friend replied in a shaky voice. "But..." he shuddered. "I accidentally saw Peter! He doesn't wear anything under his pants, and well... You can use your imagination."

"Ugh! I never knew that about Wormtail," said Sirius, shooting a look of pure astonishment at his friend. Peter was sitting by himself calmly licking a purple lollipop and had no idea that they were discussing him.

"What happened to Aurelia and Hermione?" Harry asked, suddenly noticing their absence.

"Read the wall," said Ron, pointing. Harry looked at one of the walls and saw that there was writing on it in dark red blood that said: The makeup store has been opened. Enemies of the mascara, beware. Signed, Hermione and Aurelia.

"Couldn't they have just told us or written us a note on a scrap of parchment?" said Harry.

"No way, Harry. Are you crazy?" said Ron. "Everything must be as dramatic as possible! Now excuse me for a moment while I nearly choke to death on an Every Flavor Bean." He fell to the floor and frantically clutched his throat, making severe choking and gagging sounds.

"Oh great, now what do we do?" moaned Harry.

"Just use your super powers," Sirius suggested.

"Great idea!" Harry bent over Ron and placed his hands on his friend's throat. His hands glowed bright blue, and Ron's gagging subsided. He got to his feet. "I'm alive! ALIVE!" He started dancing around the store and various people clapped and cheered.

"Harry is a hero!" shouted a random reporter who had burst into the candy store. He started snapping pictures of Harry as Harry made cheesy poses and flashed tacky smiles.

"Lucky!" said James. "I wish I had super powers!"

"No you don't," Harry assured him. "Some super powers aren't all good. Like the x-ray vision for instance. Would you really like to see exposed sections of Peter that are best left up to the imagination?"

James shuddered. "No! You're right!"

Harry then started to flap his arms like a chicken, and he felt his feet leave the ground as he soared up into the air. He was flying! "I believe in fairies!" he yelled.

"What?" said Ron.

Harry blushed. "Never mind. I was having a Peter Pan moment."