Chapter 10

Harry in fact slept through most of the morning, while Remus worked out in the green house. Remus was content to let Harry sleep peacefully, however he was far from the truth of the matter. Harry tossed and turned struggling against the dreams that invaded his mind. Scenes repeated themselves only varying slightly. He dreamt of his parents death, of Cedric Diggory dropping lifeless to the ground in the graveyard of Little Hangleton, Sirius falling into the veil, his use of the cruciatus curse on Bellatrix Lestrange and the fight with Voldemort and the mass tortures and killings Voldemort and his Death Eaters had taken part in while he was locked away in Azkaban. He lived through every curse cast feeling the pain and agony of the victims, he watched as they raped woman and young girls barely into their teens. He stood motionless unable to prevent the attacks trying to block out their screams and pleads for mercy while they physically beat them into a pulp barely recognizable as once being a human being. His occlumency helped when he meditated but he had forgotten to and the dreams burst forth from the damn that had been holding them back. Harry's pleas were barely audible in the waking world but his thrashing was obvious, although unable to move in his dream state, the muscles of his real body reacted dutifully.

The blackness of Azkaban and his prison cell formed an eerie backdrop to each and every vision. They meshed together forming bizarre scenery. On one level he kept seeing the figures of humans torturing and being tortured or killed. On another level he saw a black wall with glowing writing all over it, but he couldn't understand the writing and when he tried to focus on it, it would fade, only to resurface when his attention was on the people. Somehow the walls were familiar to him. He had seen them somewhere before, those walls were ingrained in his memory, memories he had fought for four years in the other realm to block out. He tried so hard to refuse them status within his mind but they wouldn't be ignored. For some reason they surged forth forcing him to watch.

Finishing in the green house Remus went inside to clean up when he heard something shatter in the living room. Curious, he went to investigate, and was horrified seeing Harry lying on the floor trembling uncontrollably but still asleep. Racing forwards he knelt down beside Harry and checked for a pulse on instinct. It raced rapidly as if Harry had just run a marathon, his skin was hot and clammy and beads of perspiration gathered across his forehead. Remus turned Harry onto his back and tried to wake him but was unsuccessful. Shaking his shoulders with no response, Remus started to panic, he slapped Harry across the face and was about to administer another slap when he saw his eyes flutter weakly. Shaking him by the shoulders once more he was relieved when he saw the emerald green eyes staring at him. They were glazed over but after a few blinks they were clear and questioning.

"Harry, thank Merlin you're awake!" Remus said finally breathing again. He picked Harry up ignoring his protests and placed him back on the couch. "Are you cold?" Remus asked after still seeing him shivering.

"Yeah….a..little"

"What happened?"

"Dreams…..memories" he breathed out regaining control.

"Must have been a pretty bad one for you to be this affected by it after waking up."

"Yeah it was bad"

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Harry, I've noticed you have quite a few 'nightmares' like this. Doesn't the occlumency help?"

"Yeah, when I actually meditate before I go to bed, but I …..kinda forgot last night."

"Harry as I've said before, it will help you to talk about it. You can't keep all your emotions in. Believe me I know." He added quietly.

"It's hard Moony, I don't think anyone can understand."

"Try me. You may be surprised. It helped before didn't it?"

"Yeah" Harry replied dimly.

"Harry, I've been patient with you so far, and I will continue to be. I don't know how long it will take, but each day I have worried more about you. Do you understand what this will do to you?" Remus asked trying to search Harry's eyes for an answer. Harry took a deep breath and Remus could tell he didn't understand, before Harry could speak Remus raised his hand and cut him off. "Harry, you don't understand. The more you withdraw into yourself, the more lonely your life becomes, you will become removed from others and it will be harder for you to return. You can't live with out those that love you in your life. I know, because I have been there. When your parents died Harry I blamed myself. I cursed the day that James and I had ever become friends. It was more painful because I never was able to set things right between us before he died. I knew he thought that somehow I was the spy and instead of confronting everyone about it I left. Thinking that somehow they were right and I wasn't to be trusted, that I had never deserved such friends because I was a werewolf. I know it sounds ridiculous but compare it to what you're doing to yourself. I thought Sirius had actually betrayed James and Lily and killed Peter, I lost everything that day. Betrayed by my friends and unable to go on in life without them. For 12 years I drifted, afraid to confront my life. I was afraid of facing James and Lily, for what they would say about me, for not taking care of you. In a way it helped but it also made it worse. The state you met me in was not just caused by my lack of a job Harry. I didn't care anymore, I blocked everything out and kept my pain to myself. It wasn't until Dumbledore came to me and offered me a job that I was able to start dealing with it. I found someone to talk to and after a time it became easier to cope. I knew when Sirius escaped I had to keep you safe, if only to prove to James and Lily somehow that our friendship was true. In all actuality Harry, I was trying to prove it to myself. So I helped the only way I knew how. Throughout your third year I was able to get to know you better and am very glad of that. Since then I would like to say that we've become very close friends Harry. You have to understand though that I was where you are now. You have to take the first step and let someone in Harry or you'll wind up even worse off then I was."

"It's so hard Moony! I don't trust any of them, well maybe Ginny a little bit, but I just can't forget everything they did to me. I still don't know what happened to everything I once had. Did they burn my fathers invisibility cloak? What happened to Hedwig, and my Firebolt? I know it sounds pretty petty but they were the only things I had and they all knew how important they were to me. I know that's why they destroyed them. How am I to forgive someone that acts just like Voldemort, who purposely seeks to hurt others?"

"I understand it is very hard for you to just accept everything with your friends. I'm not asking you to forgive and forget. What they did was wrong and so much worse than what I went through. I'm not saying you have to be friends with them again but I would like to see you happy again. Make new friends Harry. I couldn't stand to loose you now and there are many others that feel the same. Whether you believe it or not, there are people that love and care about you, you Harry, not because you're the Boy-Who-Lived, the Boy-Who-Defeated Voldemort, but because you are you." Remus wiped the tears that had been rolling down his cheeks and stood to leave. He paused momentarily next to the couch where Harry sat, looking down at him. The teen had his head drooped hiding any evidence that he had gotten through. Sighing deeply Remus turned and started for the kitchen.

"Moony?" Harry's soft and broken voice reached Remus before the door of the kitchen.

Remus turned and looked at the boy, his heart tightening in his chest. Those emerald eyes stared at him with pain and longing. There were tears forming that he knew Harry was trying to fight back. "It's okay to cry Harry. Although most people consider it a weakness for men to cry, there's not one that hasn't at some point in his life." He said.

Wiping his eyes dry Harry looked up to meet Remus. "Yeah, that's similar to what my mum said. I realize I've been keeping my emotions to myself. Guess I've been more afraid of what everyone was thinking than I let myself admit. I'm still so angry at everyone. It's almost like those four years never happened in a way."

Quickly making his way back to the couch, Remus sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around the boy. He may have immense powers but he was still a confused teenager that had been through so much and had more to deal with than anyone he had ever known. He pulled him tightly against his chest trying to make the love he felt for this boy show through his hug. Although he knew he could never replace James or Sirius, he thought of Harry as his own and he wanted the boy to know it.

Harry sat silently allowing himself the hug, and after a short time, Harry pulled back and ran his fingers through his hair.

Scrutinizing hid friend he sighed, "Death" was the whispered response.

Remus was confused "What was that?"

"Death, that's what my nightmares are about. I saw everything Voldemort did those first months at Azkaban, I witnessed everything!" Now that he was talking about it Harry couldn't stop. "You know how I see my parents dying when Dementors are around?"

Remus nodded not daring to interrupt now that Harry was finally talking.

"Well, I see that, I see Cedric Diggory dying after the Triwizard Tournament, I see Sirius falling through the veil, and then I see the people that Voldemort killed. It's always the same somehow, they all blame me, they curse me before they die for killing them. I can't do anything about it and I know they're right. I am just so tired of all these dreams and crapt! So tired of always having to relive my worst memories. What's all this power I have worth if I can't even stop these fricking dreams." Harry stopped wiping away a few tears and controlling his breathing as the memories surfaced once again.

"Harry! You're not responsible for those deaths anymore than I was responsible for your parents death. I know you feel that way but you're not. Think of all the deaths you prevented by what you have done! Blimey Harry, if you hadn't done half the things you did there would be no hope at all. All the power in the world cannot prevent you from coming to terms with yourself Harry. They'll keep surfacing until you deal with them and accept the fact that you didn't kill those people. You spent time with the Fates, there's a plan for everyone, and as harsh as it sounds, everyone dies."

"Yeah, I realize that but it doesn't make it easier."

"Listen Harry, I'm not saying that it shouldn't hurt that people have died. It should hurt, it shows you care and that your heart is in the right place. You can't stop everyone from dying, but you can stop them from dying needlessly. Your actions and choices are what define you Harry. They might not always turn out the way you want or expect but you have always chosen to act in the best interest of everyone excluding yourself." Remus said as he lifted Harry's chin so they could look into each others eyes. "You did not kill those people Harry. That lies on Voldemorts head and in the end he will answer for it all. I do believe in a higher power, that is how I know that James and Lily are always with me. You have done nothing but try to save those you love."

"But because of my choices …."

"Because of your choices many people have been able to continue their lives. Because of your choices there is hope that the world won't have to live in constant fear. Don't give up on hope for a better life Harry."

"You're right. I'm feeling sorry for myself and have to get over it. It's just hard being confronted by everyone constantly reminding me about the past."

"Don't I know it." Remus chuckled. "One thing you have to remember is that life is never easy. You have to deal with things Harry. People can't read minds and are most often very bad at trying to relay their feelings. We misinterpret not only what is said to us but how people respond around us. You have to tell them what you're truly thinking. Let them deal with how they react, if they really care about you they'll understand and be the better for it. If not, well then you've said your peace and can move on. Unless we trust those we love and are able to express our true feelings with them, we will always find ourselves in a vicious circle. All you can do is be true to yourself and others will eventually see it as well. I don't know exactly what you and your parents and Sirius talked about but I'm sure they wouldn't want you doing this to yourself. They gave you more than powers when you were with them Harry, don't forget that."

Thinking on what Remus had said, he came to a decision. "Once again you're right, I've been pretty pathetic lately. Moping around acting like a weak fool."

"Oh you are anything but weak Harry! After all you have gone through you still see how precious life is. Not just human life but all life. It's the greatest gift we have Harry, and you are a very wise young man to see it as such. Look at how you treat the goblins and house elves? They respect you because of this Harry. I've never seen a house elf so happy to serve as Dobby is around you. Look at Griphook at the bank, he showed more emotion than I have ever seen a goblin show when you were talking to him at the bank. He even helped us with those runes. I don't think anyone realizes that there is such a thing as goblin runes, and I could tell he was nearly bursting at the seams when you showed interest."

"That's it!" Harry exclaimed jumping up from the couch and startling Remus.

"What's wrong Harry? What did I say?"

"Moony there was another part of my dream that I didn't tell you about. It hasn't been in all my previous dreams, but it just clicked! Lately I've been seeing a black wall with glowing writing all over it. I couldn't place it until you just reminded me. It was like you unlocked something I've been blocking out."

"What have you been blocking out? And what's with the black wall? Do you think they're more runes?"

"Believe me you'd block it out too. I blocked the first half of my stay at Azkaban, maybe that's why I've been having those dreams. They were dark and painful, but I don't want to talk about that right now, I'm sure you can imagine."

"I understand Harry. So what do you remember about this wall?"

"Well, I now know for sure where it was. It was my cell in Azkaban. I can remember waking up and it being dark and cold and I would concentrate on the walls to try to block out the pain and the memories the Dementors would make me relive. I kept seeing things appearing on the wall and they became clearer each time I concentrated on them. It helped until I was taken to the other realm. When that happened I locked away all my memories of that cell deep within my mind, until recently when I started to dream again. It only happens when I forget to meditate, which hasn't been all that often but.." Harry shrugged.

"Do you think they are goblin runes?" Remus said, excitement building in his voice.

Harry could hear the excitement in Remus voice and could only admit that it was a reflection of what he himself was feeling. "I think they are Moony. They look the same as the ones over my vault door, but I still can't read them. The more important thing is that if what that book I found is correct than we have a bigger problem. Well not a problem really, maybe a solution."

"Okay, now I'm gonna have to read that book. Summary please?"

"Well it doesn't say who wrote the book, but it seemed like a third party. An objective third party, they wrote about both sides the wizards and the goblins without prejudice. Anyway, it talked a little about goblin runes and matches what Griphook said about them being hidden from view and can only be seen by goblins or those trusted by the goblins. It also confirms that these runes are only placed on areas of great importance to goblins. If that is true Moony, than Azkaban at some time must have been under goblin control."

"I'm not sure Harry." Remus said puzzled. "I've never heard of anything like that. For as long as I can remember it has been controlled by the ministry. I think I remember something about it once being the fortress of a strong wizard but I don't remember anything about the goblins being there."

"Don't you see Moony? It all makes sense. Everything you were ever taught, that I was ever taught has been written from the point of view of witches and wizards." Harry chuckled to himself.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh it's just a muggle saying that I just remembered. That history is always written by the victors."

"I don't see what that's got to do with anything."

"Don't you? Everything written by the victorious is always from their perspective. You've seen how wizards and witches act around each other, it's like a constant competition to see who's better, how they can outdo each other. Well, think about it, who would write of their own failures, their own doubts, or even perhaps their own unjust actions. It all makes sense. If the goblins once owned Azkaban and they lost the war and Azkaban was taken from them then why wouldn't the history books speak of it. The only answer is that the history books are covering something up! That's got to be it!"

"I can see your line of thinking. If Azkaban was somehow taken unlawfully, the goblins would have no recourse if it was made to look like it had always belonged to wizards. Does the book say anything about Azkaban?"

"No, but I know there has got to be more. I wonder if Griphook would help us find out more?"

"Well you could always ask him."

"You think he would?"

"I'm not sure Harry, at the very least it would be a touchy subject with them if what you're speculating is true."

"Okay, I think I might just make a visit, want to come?"

"Sure, why not. You've sparked my interest."

"Okay then, see you at the bank." And before Remus could respond Harry was gone.

Harry waited impatiently for Remus to follow even though it was only a matter of seconds. He scanned the bank for Griphook and was pleased when he saw him walk into the hall from a side door.

"Griphook!" Harry shouted.

The goblin was shocked to say the least to hear his name being shouted in the vast expanse of the main hall. Turning around he became a little apprehensive when he saw two wizards running towards him. He looked for a convenient exit and found there were none.

"Griphook. Sorry, but could we talk?"

"Ah Mr. Harry Potter Sir, and Mr. Lupin." Griphook said with obvious relief. "I have a few things to finish off with a client but we can talk after, this should only take a few minutes."

"Of course" Remus stated.

"We'll wait for you here?" Harry questioned.

"No…no…I have a private room off my office where you can wait. I could send for some tea and biscuits if you would like?"

"Thankyou Griphook." Remus said and they followed the goblin to the room.

They didn't have long to wait as Griphook was true to his word and quickly finished his business with his client. Instead of moving to his office, Griphook joined them in the sitting room. Remus thought this was very odd as goblins never showed this kind of regard for witches or wizards. If business wasn't conducted in the main hall then it was done in private offices, but never in a personal sitting room. Harry didn't think twice about it.

"How may I be of help, Mr. Potter?" Griphook asked making himself comfortable in a small comfortable chair. Remus caught how he addressed Harry right off the bat but kept silent on his observation.

"Well, Griphook. You see it's about that book I found in my vault. The one about goblin history."

"I see.. yes?"

"Well I was wondering if you could…..well that is if there are……." Harry was nervous and not too sure on how to continue.

"We were wondering if there is any other books that might explain goblin history a little more in depth." Remus put in.

Griphook scrutinized the two wizards while sipping his tea, it was an odd sight as no one had ever seen a goblin do this in the company of witches or wizards. Silence dragged while he formed his answer and he could tell the two wizards were coiled tightly in anticipation. Placing his tea cup back on a side table he tapped his long boney fingers on the side of his chair further dragging out the moment. He was pleased that Harry had read the book so quickly, most wizards would have put it on a shelf and forgotten about it, he could only hope that he was correct in his assumptions about the boy wizard.

"Yes there are….other books, but I am afraid that they are not easily acquired."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked with a frown.

"Well you see, our libraries are diligently guarded from…shall we say…unwanted attention. None but goblins themselves and those trusted by goblins even know that these books exist." He watched as the two men's eyes dropped to the ground in disappointment. "There is a way though it be difficult and will take a lot of trust on your part."

Harry's head snapped back to attention a second before Remus, his eyes sparkling with hope. Griphook masked his amusement masterfully.

"Whatever it takes, I'll do it." Harry said nearly jumping out of his seat. He looked at Remus who nodded cautiously.

"Give me a moment and I will be right back." Griphook said getting up from his chair and leaving the room.

"What do you think that was all about?" Harry asked when Griphook was gone.

"I don't know Harry, but we must be careful. You know feelings between Goblins and wizards are not all that strong, don't expect a welcoming party or anything. Whatever you do watch what you say and how you say it. Goblins are very formal around others and we need to respect that. I'm curious to see what's going to happen but also a little nervous."

"Well it can't be all that bad if he's going to help us can it?"

"He never said he was going to help us Harry. Goblins are very precise when speaking, words have more meaning to goblins than what we are used to."

Griphook returned and successfully ended any further conversation. Harry mulled over what Remus had said. Griphook was very specific about what he said and he thought back to other conversations he had had with the goblin. Never once did Griphook do anything more or less than what he had stated, well except the time he helped him out right after he escaped from Azkaban, but even then he worded what he said very carefully. Yes it was something to remember.

"Please follow me" Griphook said motioning them out the door. With a quick glance at each other they followed obediently. Instead of going out to the main hall, Griphook lead them to the other end of the hall where two elevators stood. They were exactly like those in the ministry. One came rattling down rather suspiciously and opened. Instead of buttons Griphook pressed an oddly shaped RUNE! There were runes in the elevator. Harry's excitement nearly spilled over when he saw this which caught Remus's attention.

"Harry are you alright?"

"Runes, Moony!" was all Harry could get out. He saw Griphook smile knowingly and soon the elevator stopped. They didn't know what floor they were on, but the hallways were filled with light from the many windows in the foyer they were standing in. It was an inviting area, definitely not like the main hall below. Couches lined the walls below the windows with a few odd plants scattered around. The floor was marble and polished so it gleamed but for some reason it didn't feel as cold and unwelcoming as the floors below did.

"This way please?" Griphook once again motioned for them to follow. Walking out of the foyer they turned right and went down a short ways. In front of them stood enormous mahogany double doors engraved with runes and pictures of what Harry could only guess were from goblin history. It was amazing, the intricate carvings seemed to be alive and as Griphook approached they swung open to reveal a cavernous meeting hall. The center of the room was empty except for two chairs. Up on a dais and circling the room was a continuous table of sorts. Behind the table, chairs could be made out but they were empty. It was awe inspiring like a great tribunal, he could only imagine what this place looked like full. Griphook motioned to the chairs and Remus and Harry took their seats without comment still staring in disbelief around the room.

Remus couldn't believe he was sitting in what he suspected was the Goblin Grand Council Hall. No one had ever set foot in the place except a handful of wizards and witches. Their descriptions didn't do the place justice and he found he was at a loss for words. 'Maybe that's why they couldn't describe it' he thought to himself.

A door opened off the side of the room and a single goblin came forth and sat at the head of the table right in front of Remus and Harry.

"I have been told by Griphook that you have expressed interest in our history. May I ask why?"

Harry looked to Remus for guidance, but unfortunately he couldn't get the mans attention, to wrapped up in the moment, Remus was staring dumbly at the goblin in front of them. Harry gulped and looked back at the goblin and nervously started to explain everything. It seemed like forever had passed but he knew it hadn't. Speaking to Remus about everything was one thing but having to tell a complete stranger was another. Although when he was done he felt better somehow. The goblin, they still didn't know his name, asked many questions about Harry's life, mainly about the incidents with Voldemort and how he was imprisoned. It was painful for Harry to drag up these memories but was supported by Remus who helped fill in certain details. During extremely difficult parts of his tale, Remus had placed his hand on Harry's shoulder in support, which helped him tremendously. Finally the goblin sat quietly contemplating all that had been spoken.

"I thank you for telling me this Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin. It took great courage for you to be so open with me. You have left me a lot to think about. Do I have your permission to relay the information you have given to the rest of the goblin council?"

Harry gulped audibly and looked at Remus who returned his look but only nodded. "Yes" Harry responded. "May I ask a question sir?"

"Of course Mr. Potter, I did not mean for this to feel like an interrogation." The goblin smiled, but came out looking like a feral grin, it was an unnerving sight and Harry didn't believe for a minute that it was meant to put him at ease.

"I mean no disrespect sir by asking this, but I told you about the runes and was wondering if Azkaban was once a goblin stronghold?"

The head goblin looked a little taken aback by the question and although he felt a slight triumph at making the goblin show an unplanned expression he prayed it wouldn't disrupt the trust they were showing by bringing them here.

"In truth Mr. Potter, that was an unexpected question. Why do you ask?"

"Well sir, I found in the book that I read that goblin runes are only placed in areas of great importance to goblins." He said looking for a response while trying to word his next statement. "And if I saw them in Azkaban as I have told you, then that means that at one point it was very important to the goblin race. I'm curious since none of our history books or lessons have ever mentioned anything about this."

"Yes they wouldn't." The goblin stated plainly showing no emotion. "History does not always speak of the truth. I am curious as to why this interests you so."

"Well sir, I am not sure myself but I do have speculations and a proposition for you if you are interested."

"Please do speak up" the goblin stated leaning forward showing his interest. Remus only looked at Harry not entirely sure where he was going with this.

It was late when Remus and Harry arrived back home, and Harry disappeared into his trunk, it was time to take care of the many death eaters he had captured. The ministry would have a time the next morning sorting it all out. Clearing all the cells he portkeyed them to the empty holding cells at the ministry, with so many there were three to a cell but Harry had gotten all the information out of them he needed and the public would know who they were. Sure the ministry would probably release them rather than go through the trouble of trying to maintain the new prison but if things went the way he planned the ministry wouldn't have to worry about them anymore.

After clearing all the compartments, except for his special guest, he finished packing his trunk with the things he wanted to bring to Hogwarts, and sat quietly on his bed to organize his thoughts. He didn't need anymore dreams especially since he would need his strength on the train ride back to Hogwarts. Who knew what he would encounter during the trip. At midnight he finally let himself fall into a deep restful sleep.

Remus went to wake Harry up the next morning and found the dark haired teen sleeping peacefully. No tossing, no sweating or moaning indicated that Harry had actually slept well and Remus was grateful. He hadn't lied yesterday when he said he was worried. Harry had been through so much and needed the rest that dreamless sleep could grant. He had enough to deal with during his waking hours, and today would be the start of more stressful times. For a normal boy returning to school it was hard enough, being with friends again studying, Quidditch, young love, pranks, these were things normal teenage boys had trouble dealing with. Harry would have this on top of the stress that his fame and notoriety caused let alone the complicated plan he had set in motion. Would the students accept him back? Would they believe that he was innocent? The teenage mind worked in so many mysterious ways and he could only hope that they would support Harry. The stares and whispers would be there, just like they were always there but would they be cruel and unforgiving or would they be something else something more positive. Sighing he forced the thoughts from his mind and went to wake him up.

"Harry. Harry time to get up." He said gently shaking the shoulder of the sleeping form.

"Hmmmm, just five more minutes." Harry groaned out.

"Sorry Harry but we have to get to London early remember?"

"Moony please?" he whined.

"Come on sleepy head. Up or I will use more drastic measures. I'll give you to the count of ten. 1…..2…..3…..4…..5……6……..7……8…..9……"

"I'm up, I'm up already!"

Harry sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Remus chuckled.

"Come on, let's get breakfast." Remus said as he walked out of the door.

Once the door shut Harry lay back down on his pillow hoping to get in few more moments of sleep. It was not to be, Remus had suspected this and as soon as his head hit the pillow a large bucket of ice water appeared over the bed and drenched Harry.

"MOONY!" Harry shouted as he sputtered through the water dripping down his face. Casting a drying charm around him and his bed he stormed out of his room.

"Moony, I'm going to kill you for that!" Harry said upon entering the kitchen.

"I warned you."

"You didn't have to dump ice cold water on me!"

"How else to wake you up?" Remus said with mock innocence.

"You'll pay dearly for that. Just wait." Harry said taking a seat at the table.

"Get over it. Now what would you like for breakfast?"

"Don't change the subject."

"I'm only sticking to your plan Harry. You're the one that wanted to get to the platform early to avoid everyone. You could always change it and deal with the 'trouble' as you call it, of dealing with the Weasley's, Hermione and all the other students." Remus stated hoping that Harry might change his mind.

"No, you're right. Let's just eat and get going, I guess I can sleep on the train."

"Alright. So here eat up." Remus handed him a plate full of scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon and toast.

"You're getting better with this. Seems I've domesticated the werewolf."

"Shut it. You've never complained before, so I can't be that bad."

They ate a leisurely breakfast and after Harry shrunk all his things they stepped out of the back of the house and apparated to platform 9 ¾ to meet the train. They were an hour early and the train was there already so without trouble Harry was able to find an empty compartment to settle into.

"All set Harry?"

"Yeah I'm fine, so I'll see you tonight at the welcoming feast?"

"I'll be there. Remember you promised to keep it a secret. No telling anyone."

"I don't plan on talking to anyone so that won't be a problem." Harry said laying on one of the seats.

"Give them a chance Harry."

"Yeah, yeah you keep saying that."

"And I'll keep saying it."

"Give me some time Moony. There's a lot I have to work out." He sighed.

"I know Harry, but let's just say I'm acting as your conscience by continuing to remind you to live again. See you tonight."

"See ya Moony."

As soon as Remus left the compartment Harry waved his hand and a shade covered the window of the door. Hopefully no-one would bother with the compartment and would leave Harry alone. It was quiet for a while as he drifted off to sleep. All too soon though his sleep was interrupted by the noisy banging of trunks on the train and the rising volume of chatter as Hogwarts students began arriving and meeting up with friends. Keeping his eyes closed and forcing himself to remain as he was he waited pensively for someone to open his compartment door. No-one did and then the whistle blew indicating that the train would be leaving. He released his breath in a deep sigh of relief that his return was starting out as he wanted. He would have plenty of time over the course of the year to deal with his former friends. The train lurched violently as it started to move away from the station but Harry didn't move. Relaxing back in his seat he tried to go back to sleep.

"Do you think Harry will be on the train?"

"I don't know Ron. Professor Dumbledore may think it best he travel by portkey to Hogwarts."

"Why would he need to do that?"

"Geez Ron, no matter how old you are, you're stupidity never ceases to amaze me!"

"I'm not stupid, Ginny."

"Are too."

"Not again." Hermione moaned rolling her eyes. "You think you two would just lay off each other."

"You should take your own advice Hermione." Gin quipped.

"Ginny!"

"Ah, prefects meeting?" Ron squeaked out, not wanting to deal with the row building up between them.

"Right. Let's go then."

"Fine." Ginny said dropping her trunk in the compartment.

As they entered the prefects carriage all three groaned at the sight of Draco Malfoy lounging smugly at one of the tables.

"Well if it isn't the Weasel, baby Weasel and the mudblood. Missing your pathetic friend Potter aren't you? Or has he forgotten all about you. Oh I forgot, he probably doesn't want anything to do with traitors."

"Shut it Malfoy." Ron threatened while Hermione placed a restraining grip on his arm. All three were stung by the truthfulness of the blonde Slytherins words. It hurt deeply that Harry hadn't met them on the platform. Mrs. Weasley had tears in her eyes after she had searched the platform for him and couldn't find him. The other Weasley's came along in the hopes of seeing Harry but their sullen faces after not finding him showed how disappointed they were. All of them were in a surly mood because of this. They hoped Harry would get over it and things would be like before, they never stopped to think how much pain Harry harbored and who he blamed for that pain. Even though they had witnessed for themselves how much Harry had changed they couldn't bring themselves to admit it.

"Must have hit the target on that one Weasel. Poor weasel must be lost without his best mate."

"Malfoy, you are a slimy little pansy who couldn't even begin to understand anything unless your 'daddy' told you what to do." Hermione chastised.

"You'll pay for that Granger!"

"Yeah, yeah, blah blah, we've heard it all before Malfoy. Must be nice being free after what you did. Pretty convenient isn't it that you were able to get off so easily. I'm sure Daddy isn't too happy with you at the moment since you blamed him for your crimes. I always knew Malfoys were blathering cowards." Ginny boldly stated.

"What would you know about anything baby weasel! At least my family is of great importance to the wizarding world. We have friends and power, where you can barely afford the clothes on your back. Bet you grew up wearing all your brothers hand-me-downs. Do you even know what a dress is?"

"Ginny don't!" Hermione reached out to Ginny to prevent her from hexing Draco Malfoy. "He's not worth it."

"Yeah you're right. At least I know my friends are true and not hanging around me because of money or fear of what my daddy could do to them. I'll wait until later, when there aren't as many witnesses." Ginny ground out.

"QUIET PLEASE PREFECTS!" A voice shouted from the front of the compartment. "Everyone please settle down so we can get this meeting started. My name is Ernie Macmillan from Ravenclaw for those that don't know me. I'm am head boy this year and our head girl is Hermione Granger. Hermione please come up here would you?" Hermione stepped around and through the crowd to join Ernie. "Now we have a few things to go over before we release you all." The meeting droned on as both Ernie and Hermione painfully described the prefect's duties and responsibilities in detail. It was no different from any previous year but being who they were, felt it their responsibility to drill it into everyone's heads forcefully.

Meanwhile Harry couldn't sleep. He felt anxious and had to admit it to himself; he was actually looking forward to going back to Hogwarts. So many things had happened over the last year that he was curious to see how much the school had changed, if at all. The only thing he dreaded was having to walk into the Great Hall and having everyone stare at him again. He could care less what they thought but he wished they would just ignore him. He planned to be one of the first people off the train, catching one of the first carriages up to the school and finding a seat at the Gryffindor table away from everyone else. If he was one of the first people in, maybe no one would notice him. He would have to see Dumbledore after the feast to get access to his new quarters. The old man would probably try to drag out the conversation but Harry would not allow it. He would be short and to the point, something the old man didn't know how to do. He thought of many sarcastic comments he could say to him and chuckled at himself and the imagined conversation. He knew he would not speak them but it was still fun to think about it.

Forcing his thoughts away from Dumbledore he reached out with his senses to see what was going on in his train car. His compartment was in the middle of the train, something his former friends would never guess as they had always tried to find one at the front or back away from everyone else. Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil were in the compartment adjacent to him but those were the only people he knew by name. The remaining compartments were filled with 1st years and 3rd years. It was amazing how many students attended Hogwarts that he didn't know. Well it was his own fault, he reminded himself, you kept to yourself and the Gryffindors for the first four years not caring about anyone besides your close friends. It wasn't until fifth year when he started the DA that he had much interaction with people from other houses. He briefly wondered what Neville Longbottom was up to when he felt someone enter the train car. Draco Malfoy!

Harry smiled widely waiting for what Draco might be up to. He would love to confront his school nemesis. Draco hadn't taken the dark mark and because of that he was released from punishment. The constant bungling of the Wizengamot and the Ministry enraged him. Once again they did not administer Veritaserum to Draco for the absurd reason that he was underage during the trial. His pathetic act of crying and blathering on about how his father forced him to do the things he did under threat of torture and death won the Wizengamot over. He had seen the blonde weakling rape and kill a 14 year old muggle just for fun, and was physically sick after seeing the crime. He vowed Draco would pay for it, he vowed all the death eaters would pay, and being locked up in a cell wasn't good enough. He wanted them to feel the pain and terror their victims felt and if everything went according to plan they would soon be paying dearly.

As he watched Draco work his way down the passageway the train lurched causing the Slytherin to trip over his own feet. Chuckling, Harry watched as Draco mouthed curse words while he picked himself up off the floor and primly swiped non-existent dirt from his robes. Malfoy stopped when he reached the compartment Harry was in, the drawn shade catching his attention. An evil sneer crossed his face and Harry could feel the boys anticipation. It was a sickening feeling, the boy craved the feeling of terror he inflicted on others. No, Draco Malfoy was not as redeemable as others had hoped. Like father like son definitely applied in this case. The boy pulled his wand and stepped up to the door hoping to catch the inhabitants unaware and threw the door open.

Harry didn't move from his position. Seeing himself through his senses he looked the perfect picture of one in deep sleep. A gleam lit Malfoy's eyes in pure joy of catching the Boy-Who-Lived off guard.

"Well, well, well if it isn't the famous Harry Potter back from the damned."

"If you're as smart as you think you are you'll leave." Harry said without opening his eyes or moving from his current position.

"Miss your cell Potter? Being alone and in the dark must be reassuring for you. I see you're friends haven't come around. Could it be they still can't stand the sight of you?"

Harry let the comments slide, he knew Malfoy was baiting him and wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"Potter! I'm talking to you." Malfoy shouted angry at the lack of response he was getting.

"Sounds like babbling to me Malfoy" Harry responded opening his eyes and yawning widely.

"You are nothing but a worthless mudblood Potter. Such a disappointment to the wizarding world, you know not everyone believes you are innocent. You'll be back in that dank cell you miss so much in no time."

"You think so?"

"I'll make sure of it. I'll find whoever helped you get out of there and make sure he won't help you next time. You should be rotting there still. I didn't go through all that trouble so that you could escape. Father should have removed Fudge a long time ago, but no matter, he's no longer around to mess things up. We won't make the same mistake again."

"You forget Malfoy the only reason you're not rotting away in a cell right now is because of your cowardice in blaming your father for your deeds. Next time you won't get off as easily."

"There won't be a next time Potter, I'm going to make you suffer. No one will believe you." Malfoy threatened and raised his wand to point it at Harry's head.

In an instant Harry had transformed to his Dire Wolf and Malfoy found himself flat on his back held firmly to the ground by an enormous and sharp clawed paw. Harry curled his claws inward digging into Malfoys chest just barely grazing the skin under his expensive robes. He heard Malfoy whimper in fear, his eyes wide. Harry leaned his head down to within inches of Malfoy's face and snarled at him. His large sharp teeth bared he growled deeply at the boy and was satisfied at the cry that escaped his mouth.

"Pl..please don't eat me." Malfoy stumbled.

The Dire Wolf tilted his head considering the plea. Using his telepathy Harry said, "Eat you? I don't like the taste of rotten meat which is so prevalent among Death Eaters."

Malfoys eyes hardened upon hearing the voice in his head but was still too afraid to move. Harry could tell Malfoy was forming a smart comeback but cut him off.

"This is the last chance you're going to get. If you bother me, if I even hear the slightest rumor that you have done anything to anyone in the school you will wish I had killed you now." He transmitted to the evil mind.

Harry transformed back to his human form and eyed the motionless form before him. With a smirk he noticed that Malfoy had wet himself from the terror of his encounter. Careful to use his wand, he didn't want to reveal all his secrets, he flicked it at Malfoy and sent him flying into the passageway where he could hear cries of concern. The growl he had made as the Dire Wolf must have been heard by all in this train car. He followed Malfoy into the passageway and noticed students peeking their heads out of their doors with looks of fear on their faces. They were cautiously trying to make sure they were in no danger. Looking down at the now unconscious form of Draco Malfoy, Harry banished him to another compartment where someone else could take care of him.

"What?" he asked turning to the students staring blatantly at him. He couldn't tell if they were shocked at seeing him or about what he had just done.

"Harry?" A soft voice quietly questioned from one of the doorways. Harry looked over to see Dean, Lavendar, Parvati and Seamus staring at him in disbelief.

Harry only nodded and turned back to his compartment.

"Harry how are you?" Dean asked timidly.

"I'm fine Dean." Harry said looking over his shoulder at his one time dorm mate.

"Harry you could join us if you want." Parvati asked shakily.

"No thank you, I have better company to keep." Harry said straight faced and left them with their own thoughts.

The rest of the journey to Hogsmeade was uneventful and Harry meditated finding it very relaxing after his encounter with Malfoy. Before the train had come to a complete stop he had opened the door and jumped onto the platform quickly to find a carriage to Hogwarts.

"Harry!" someone shouted from behind him but he ignored them and the excited whispers that started and jumped into the first carriage. It was slow to take off and he was worried that the person that called his name would catch up to him. Luck was with him at that moment as the Thestrals quickly got into a rhythm that they couldn't keep up with. Sighing he sat back trying to relax, he was feeling anxious and the closer he got to Hogwarts the more nervous he felt at being in the presence of all his former classmates.

Arriving at the front of the castle Harry quickly disembarked from the carriage and ran up the steps to the large castle doors which swung open to allow him entrance. Shooting a glance over his shoulders he could see other carriages arriving and picked up his pace to get to the Great Hall. It was empty, he had successfully arrived before any students or teachers. He quickly sat at the end of the Gryffindor table closest to the head table where the professors would sit. Without anything to do his nerves were becoming overworked so he pulled out his trunk and grabbed a book out of it to read. It helped keep his mind off the students he could hear entering and finding seats of their own. Soon the noise level in the Great Hall was overwhelming. He could catch glimpses of conversations going on all around him, discussing their adventures over summer vacation. How he longed for a normal life! He wished he could talk about trips to the beach, or going to Quidditch matches or traveling the world, but he was Harry Potter, arch enemy to Lord Voldemort, savior of the wizarding world, for him there was no such thing.

A door opened off the side of the hall and the teachers entered causing a change in the noisy chatter amongst the students. Harry glanced up and caught Remus' eyes, he smiled and felt better when it was returned.

"Is this seat taken?"

Harry snapped his head around to see who was talking to him and caught his breath.

"No it isn't."

"Do you mind if I sit here then?"

"It's a free country." Harry shrugged and returned his attention to his book. He didn't want to start up a conversation, least of all with Ginny who he was still slightly mad at for the other day.

"Why didn't you meet us before you got on the train. We could have shared a compartment."

"Because I didn't feel like being around anyone."

"Oh, do you still feel that way?"

Harry knew from the tone of her voice it was a loaded question. He turned to face her. "Yes."

"Fine then, I'll just go sit somewhere else then if you don't want my company." She said and got up to find another seat.

Harry only felt slightly bad for being so rude, she was only trying to be friendly but he couldn't help it. He watched her sit down next to Collin Creevey and her other sixth year friends. His eyes scanned the rest of the table and he noticed that Ron and Hermione were seated towards the middle of the table shooting furtive glances at him unsure of what they should do. Figuring they were not too confident of his reaction they chose the safe way of avoiding him. There was a large gap between him and the rest of the Gryffindors. Usually the head of the table where he was sitting remained open for first years to sit after the sorting. Harry didn't care and focused on his book. He heard the doors open again and the quiet murmurs of the students in the upper years as they watched the scared first years walk in a gaggle up to the head table. He was vaguely aware of the sorting hats song, the solemn silence after it was done and the small cough Professor McGonagall made to divert everyone's attention back to the sorting. He could feel the eyes on him and was grateful for the diversion. While everyone watched the sorting of the new students Harry continued reading his book. It was a defense book that he had read several times through but concentrating on the words helped him tune everyone out. Dumbledore stood up and with two words food finally filled the tables. Conversations died down in the hall to a low hum as they all stuffed their faces with the excellent fare.

Harry ate sparingly, he wasn't all that hungry, his nerves were still strung tightly. His thoughts now drifted to how he was going to get to his new room without having to deal with his dorm mates or fellow Gryffindors.

"Welcome back students to another year and to those joining us for the first time. Now for a few start of term notices," said Dumbledore. "First years ought to know that the forest on the school grounds is out of bounds to all students. A few of our older students would due well to remember this as well. Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to remind you that magic is not permitted in the corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things to include the entire product line from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. For a complete listing you may check the list on Mr. Filch's office door.

"We are pleased to welcome back Professor Lupin who will be returning to the post of Defense against the Dark Arts." The hall erupted into an enormous round of applause for the best teacher they had ever had in that class, all except for the Slytherin table who glared at the head table. Dumbledore continued, "Tryouts for the House Quidditch teams will take place during the third week of term, team captains are reminded to reserve the pitch with Madame Hooch. On a more solemn note we would like to welcome back one of our students, who we all owe a sincere apology to for the unjust way in which we treated him. We welcome back Harry Potter."

Harry was taken aback and stiffened at the speech Dumbledore was making, he could feel all eyes on him again and the thunderous clapping, but didn't know how to respond. He was angry at the Headmaster for doing this and knew it was another of his manipulation attempts. Instead of looking around at the students he slowly turned his head and gave a quick almost imperceptible nod to the headmaster then returned to his book. He missed the troubled look that flashed on the headmasters face and the rest of the professors. He didn't care, he just wanted out of there right now.

"Prefects please show the first years to their dormitories. Sleep well." And with that the hall erupted in noise as students filed out to the shouts of 'First years over here….follow me.." Harry waited until the hall was almost completely empty then made his way up to the head table where the teachers were also making their exit. Dumbledore remained stoically in his chair waiting for him.

"Harry, I assume all is well?"

"Yes sir. I just came to get the password for my room."

"Ah yes. It is located behind the portrait of Godric Gryffindor in the Gryffindor common room. The password is 'Pheonix Fire' you will have to arrange any changes with Miss Granger as the head girls rooms are also located in the same area."

"Thank you sir," Harry said and turned to leave.

"Harry, I would ask you to join me in my study tomorrow evening at 7 o'clock to discuss extra lessons."

"What extra lessons?" Harry said turning to face the man.

"We need to continue your occlumency training and I dare say some others as well to ensure you are up to speed after the year you have missed."

"I thought my tests were enough to prove to you I wasn't behind. As for occlumency training, I don't need it."

"Ah, well we shall see. Professor Snape…"

"What's Snape got to do with anything?" Harry snapped.

"That's Professor Snape, Harry, and he has expressed his concern about your link with the dark lord and how it might impact the students. We feel it imperative that you resume your training to block him from your mind."

"I will not be taking any extra lessons with 'professor' Snape, sir. You can test me if you like, but the only lessons I will be having with that man is potions."

"Harry I must insist that you take these lessons for your safety as well."

"You may insist all you want, but I will not be taking the lessons. You were never concerned about my safety or wellbeing before, why should you pretend to now. I do not need, nor do I want any special lessons you feel necessary. I am only here to finish this year and get my N.E.W.T.s. I dare say the school governors would be quite upset if they learned you were giving special treatment to a student."

"Harry I…."

"No headmaster. No one will be manipulating me again, I am in control of my life, no one else. Not you, not Snape, not the order! I can look out for myself!" Before the headmaster could say another word Harry turned around abruptly and stormed out of the hall. Once out in the corridor he walked purposefully up to the Gryffindor tower.

"Welcome back Mr. Potter, it's nice to see you again."

"Yeah right," Harry said to the portrait guarding the common room. He stopped, realizing that he didn't have the password, he would have thought it comical to be in this situation as a pattern was forming except that it reminded him of the year he spent in Azkaban. Just then the portrait swung open to let a 3rd year out and he grabbed the side of it before it closed. The 3rd year looked at him strangely, but Harry just stepped around him and through the opening. The common room was packed with Gryffindors idly chatting or playing games of exploding snap. He groaned rolling his head at the sight. Couldn't he have gotten through this without having to deal with all these people. It had started out just fine from the train, now he would have to wade through all these people and try to avoid their questions. Bracing himself he straightened his shoulders and strode over to the picture of Godric Gryffindor and spoke the password. The picture swung open and he entered once again ignoring the gasps of surprise. Once inside he made his way over to a door on the left side of the short hallway that had a plaque on it stating 'Mr. Harry Potter.'

Entering his new room he was pleasantly surprised to find a nice double four poster bed at one side of the room. At the other was a round table with two chairs for studying. Against the wall was a fireplace with a fire already roaring sending its heat throughout the room. Situated off to a side was a small but comfortable couch. To the side of the fireplace was a door, he walked over to it and opened it to find his own private bath, it was small but held both a shower and a bathtub, the water closet was set off to the side providing a great deal of privacy. He was pleased at this unexpected addition as he didn't have to use the common baths or worry about the prefects bath. He could study in here without being bothered by anyone else. He quickly took out his trunk and started organizing his things around the room. He realized he had more books than the small shelves in his room could hold so he only put out the books he hadn't read yet storing the others in his trunk. He also kept his more questionable reading material stored in his trunk to avoid any questions that might be asked should they be seen, not that anyone would be in his room, but he didn't want to take any chances. Looking around once again he was pleased with the result and slipped into a pair of silk pajama bottoms and sat on his bed to meditate before going to sleep. He would need his wits about him tomorrow for the first day of classes, and if things went as they had in the past he was pretty sure he could count on potions being his first class of the day.