I Learn How To Grow Zombies

"I learn how to row zombies?" Nico said. "How lame is that?"

"Shut it Mythomagic boy!" Percy yelled.

The thing about flying on a pegasus during the daytime is that if you're not careful, you can cause a serious traffic accident on the Long Island Expressway. I had to keep Blackjack up in the clouds, which were, fortunately, pretty low in the winter. We darted around, trying to keep the white Camp Half-Blood van in sight.

"Thank the gods Lord Zeus didn't blast you out of the sky," Annabeth said.

We lost the van twice, but I had a pretty good sense that they would go into Manhattan first, so it wasn't too difficult to pick up their trail again.

I landed Blackjack near the top of the Chrysler Building and watched the white camp van, thinking it would pull into the bus station, but it just kept driving.

"Where's Argus taking them? I muttered.

Oh, Argus ain't driving, boss, Blackjack told me. That girl is.

"Which girl?"

The Hunter girl. With the silver crown thing in her hair.

"Zoe?"

"Zoe would stop at nothing to rescue Lady Artemis," Thalia said. "It's what all the Hunters would do, even if it would risk our lives, we would die trying."

That's the one.

Meanwhile, the van kept snaking its way toward the Lincoln Tunnel. It had never even occurred to me that Zoe could drive. I mean, she didn't even look sixteen. Then again, she was immortal, I wondered if she had a New York license, and if so, what her birth date said.

Thalia and Artemis looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "We use the mist!"

"Well," I said. "Let's get after them."

We were about to leap off the Chrysler Building when Blackjack whinnied in alarm and almost threw me. Something was curling around my leg like a snake. I reached for m sword, but when I looked down, there was no snake. Vines – grape vines – had sprouted from the cracks between the stones of the building. They were wrapping around Blackjack's legs, lashing down my ankles so we couldn't move.

"Dun dun dun …" Nico said.

"Going somewhere?" Mr. D asked.

He was leaning against the building with is feet levitating in the air, his leopard-skin warm-up suit and black hair whipping around in the wind.

God alert! Blackjack yelled. It's the wine dude!

Everyone laughed at that.

"Oh Mr. D is not going to like that." Rachel said.

Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

"Mr. D." I tried to keep my voice calm as the grape vines continued to wrap around my legs. "What do you want?"

Annabeth shook her head. "Not wise Percy, not wise."

"Oh, what do I want? You thought, perhaps, that the immortal, all-powerful director of camp would not notice you leaving without permission?"

"Well … maybe."

"I should throw you off this building, minus the flying horse, and see how heroic you sound on the way down."

I balled up my fists. I knew I should keep my mouth shut, but Mr. D was about to kill me or haul me back to camp in shame, and I couldn't stand either idea.

"Hero with a huge ego," Thalia said.

"Why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you?"

Purple flames flickered in his eyes. "You're a hero, boy. I need no other reason."

"I have to go on this quest! I've got to help my friends. That's something you wouldn't understand!"

Annabeth face-palmed herself.

Um, boss, Blackjack said nervously. Seeing as how we're wrapped in vines nine hundred feet in the air, you might want to talk nice.

"Even the horse gets it," Thalia said.

The grape vines coiled tighter around me. Below us, the white van was getting farther and farther away. Soon it would be out of sight.

"Did I ever tell you about Ariadne?" Mr. D asked.

"Dionysus," Artemis sighed.

"Beautiful young princess of Crete? She liked helping her friends, too. In fact, she helped a young hero named Theseus, also a son of Poseidon. She gave him a ball of magical yarn that let him find his way out of the Labyrinth. And do you know how Theseus rewarded her?"

The answer I wanted to give was I don't care! But I didn't figure that would make Mr. D finish his story any faster.

"They got married," I said. "Happily ever after. The end."

"Aphrodite can be nice, and she can be merciless as well," Annabeth said.

There was thunder off in the distance.

"I'm just stating the facts!" Annabeth yelled at the sky.

The thundering immediately stopped.

Mr. D sneered. "Not quite. Theseus said eh would marry her. He took her aboard his ship and sailed for Athens. Halfway back, on a little island called Naxos, he … What's the word you mortals us today? … he dumped her. I found her there, you know. Alone. Heartbroken. Crying her eyes out/ She had given up everything, left everything she knew behind, to help a dashing young hero who tossed her away like a broken sandal."

"Men, they are all so foolish," Artemis said. "That's the reason why I despise men; the hunters as well. So many have been tossed away like this."

The boys knew better than to say anything.

"That's wrong," I said. "But that was thousands of years ago What's that got to do with me?"

Mr. D regarded me coldly. "I fell in love with Ariadne, boy. I healed her broken heart. And when she died, I made her my immortal wife on Olympus. She waits for me even now. I shall go back to her when I am done with this infernal century of punishment at your ridiculous camp."

I stared at him. "You're … you're married? But I thought you got in trouble for chasing a wood nymph –"

"He didn't do that on purpose," Artemis said. "Eros and his love arrows, just like what he did to Apollo." Artemis gritted her teeth together. "Those two love gods have to be dealt with."

"My point is you heroes never change. You accuse us gods of being vain. You should look at yourselves. You take what you want, use whoever ou have to, and then you betray everyone around you. So you'll excuse me if I have no love for heroes. They are a selfish, ungrateful lot. Ask Ariadne. Or Medea. For that matter, ask Zoe Nightshade."

"What do you mean ask Zoe?"

"I know now," Percy said softly before Annabeth could say anything.

He waved his hand dismissively. "Go. Follow your silly friends."

The vines uncurled around my legs

Too close, Blackjack said.

Zoe drove south like a crazy person, and we were into Maryland before she finally pulled over at a rest stop. Blackjack darn near tumbled out of the sky, he was so tired.

I'll be okay, boss, he panted. Just … just catching my breath.

"Poor creature. He should be rewarded," Artemis said.

"Stay here," I told him. "I'm going to scout."

Stay here' I can handle. I can do that.

I put on my cap of invisibility and walked over to the convenience store.

"Correction," Annabeth said. "My cap of invisibility, not yours."

I thought I'd go inside and warm up, maybe get a cup of hot chocolate or something. I had a little change in m pocket. I could leave it on the counter. I was wondering if the cup would turn invisible when I picked it up, or if I'd have to deal with a floating hot chocolate problem, when my whole plan was ruined by Zoe, Thalia, Bianca, and Grover all coming out of the store.

"Too bad!" Thalia said, poking her tongue out at Percy.

"Grover are you sure?" Thalia was saying.

"Well … pretty sure. Ninety-nine percent. Okay, eighty-five percent."

"And you did this with acorns?" Bianca asked, like she couldn't believe it.

Grover looked offended. "It's a time-honored tracking spell. I mean, I'm pretty sure I did it right."

"D.C. is about sixty miles from here," Bianca said. "Nico and I …" She frowned. "We used to live there. That's … strange. I'd forgotten."

"I dislike this," Zoe said. "We should go straight west. The prophecy said west."

"Oh, like your tracking skills are better?" Thalia growled.

Zoe stepped toward her. "You challenge my skills, you scullion? You know nothing of being a Hunter!"

"Oh but she does," Rachel said.

Everyone ignored her and Annabeth continued reading.

"Oh, scullion? You're calling me a scullion? What the heck is a scullion?"

"A scullion is a servant assigned the most menial kitchen tasks." Annabeth said.

"Thanks Zoe," Thalia muttered.

"Whoa, you two," Grover said nervously. "Come on. Not again!"

"Grover's right," Bianca said. "D.C. is our best bet."

"Hmmm … totally," Thalia said,

"Well it was," Grover said, his arms folded over his chest.

Zoe didn't look convinced, but she nodded reluctantly. "Very well. Let us keep moving."

"You're going to get us arrested, driving," Thalia grumbled. "I look closer to sixteen than you do."

"Perhaps," Zoe snapped. "But I have been driving since automobiles were invented. Let us go."

As Blackjack and I continued south, following the van, I wondered whether Zoe had been kidding.

"Zoe rarely jokes around," Artemis said.

I didn't know exactly when cars were invented, but I figured that was like prehistoric times – back when people watched black and white TV and hunted dinosaurs.

"Hunted dinosaurs Percy?" Annabeth asked raising her eyebrows.

As we got closer to Washington, Blackjack started slowing down and dropping altitude. He was breathing heavily.

"You okay?" I asked him.

Fine, boss. I could … I could take on an army.

"You don't sound so good." And suddenly I felt guilty, because I'd been running ht pegasus for half a day, non-stop, trying to keep up with the highway traffic. Even for a flying horse, that had to be rough.

"You should really get Blackjack some donuts," Annabeth said.

"Yeah, I know. I will."

"Does he really like donuts?" Rachel asked.

"He's like Grover with enchiladas." Percy said.

"Oh wow." Rachel muttered.

Don't worry about me, boss! I'm a tough one.

I figured he was right, but I also figured Blackjack would run himself into the ground before he complained, and I didn't want that.

Fortunately, the van started to slow down. It crossed the Potomac River into central Washington.

"Set me down there," I told Blackjack. "That's close enough."

Blackjack was so tired he didn't complain. He dropped toward the Washington Monument and set me on the grass.

I looked at Blackjack. "I want you to go back to camp. Get some rest. Graze. I'll be fine."

Blackjack cocked his head skeptically. You sure, boss?

"You've done enough already," I said. "I'll be fine. And thanks a ton."

"So loyal," Nico said. "Just like my skeleton warriors."

"Yeah," Percy said. "Difference is that those who serve you are dead, and mine are not. You have an advantage there."

A ton of hay, maybe, Blackjack mused. That sounds good. All right, but be careful, boss. I got a feeling they didn't come here to meet anything friendly and handsome like me.

"Oh Blackjack," Annabeth said. "Always so full of himself, but we love him for that."

I promised to be careful. Then Blackjack took off, circling twice around the monument before disappearing into the clouds.

I looked over at the white van. Everybody was getting out. Grover pointed toward one of the big building lining the mall. Thalia nodded, and the four of them trudged off into cold wind.

I started to follow. But then I froze.

A block away, the door of a black sedan opened. A man with gray hair and a military buzz cut got out. He was wearing dark shades and a black overcoat. Now, maybe in Washington, you'd expected guys like that to be everywhere. But it dawned on me that I'd seen this same car a couple of times on the highway, going south. It had been following the fan.

"I should have noticed," Thalia said. "That was so stupid of me."

The guy took out his mobile phone and said something into it. The he looked around, like he was making sure the coast was clear, and started walking down the Mall in the direction of my friends.

The worst of it was: when he turned toward me, I recognized his face. It was Dr. Thorn, the manticore from Westover Hall.

"Dude, he was creepy man!" Nico said.

Invisibility cap on, I followed Thorn from a distance. Thorn kept well back from my friends, careful not to be seen.

Finally, Grover stopped in front of a big building that said NATIONAL AIR AND SPACE MUSEUM. The Smithsonian!

Thalia checked the door. It was open, but there weren't many people going in. Too cold, and school was out of session. They slipped inside.

Dr. Thorn hesitated. I wasn't sure why, but he didn't go into the museum. He turned and headed across the Mall. I made a split-second decision and followed him.

Annabeth nodded. "Nice move Percy."

Thorn crossed the street and climbed the steps of the Museum of National History. There was a big sign on the door. At first I thought I said CLOSED FOR PIRATE EVENT. Then I realized PIRATE must be PRIVATE.

Annabeth rolled her eyes.

I followed Dr. Thorn inside, through a huge chamber of mastodons and dinosaur skeletons. There were voices up ahead, coming from behind a set of closed doors. Two guards stood outside. They opened the doors for Thorn, and I had to sprint to get inside before the closed them again.

"That's the bad thing about invisibility," Annabeth mumbled.

Inside, what I saw was so terrible I almost gasped out loud, which probably would've gotten me killed.

I was in a huge round room with a balcony ringing the second level. At least a dozen mortal guards stood on the balcony, plus two monsters – reptilian women with double snake trunks instead of legs. I'd seen them before. Annabeth had called them Scythian dracaenae.

"I'm glad you remembered Percy," Annabeth said.

But that wasn't the worse of it. Standing between the snake women – I could swear he was looking straight down at me – was my old enemy Luke.

Net to him, sitting down so that the shadows covered him, was another man. All I could see were his knuckles on the gilded arms of his chair, like a throne.

"Atlas," Artemis hissed venomously.

"Well? Asked the man in the chair. His voice was just like the one I'd heard in my dream – not as creepy as Kronos's, but deeper and stronger, like the earth itself was talking. It filled the whole room even though he wasn't yelling.

"Nice comparison," Thalia said. "How ironic."

"They are here, General."

"I know that, you fool," boomed the man. "But where?"

"In the rocket museum."

"How many?" Luke asked.

Thorn pretended not to hear.

"How many?" the General demanded.

"Four, General," Thorn said. "The satyr, Grover Underwood. And the girl with the spiky black air and the – how do you say – punk clothes and the horrible shield."

Thalia laughed at his description.

"Thalia," Luke said.

"And two other girls – Hunters. One wears a silver circlet."

"That one I know," the General growled.

Everyone in the room shifted uncomfortably.

"Now, my boy." The General turned to Luke. "The first thing we must do is isolate the half-blood Thalia. The monster we seek will then come to her."

"The Hunters will be difficult to dispose of," Luke said. "Zoe Nightshade –"

"Do not speak her name!"

Artemis growled.

Luke swallowed.
S-sorry, General. I just –"

The General silenced him with a wave of his hand. "Let me show you, my boy, how we will bring the Hunters down."

He pointed to a guard on the ground level. "Do you have the teeth?"

The guy stumbled forward with a ceramic pot. "Yes, General!"

"Plant them," he said.

"No! It can't be! Tell me they didn't …" Artemis said.

"They did." Percy said glumly.

In the center of the room was a big circle of dirt, where I guess a dinosaur exhibit was supposed to go. I watched nervously as the guard took sharp white teeth out of the pot and pushed them into the soil. He smoothed them over while the General smiled coldly.

The guar stepped back from the dirt and wiped his hands. "Ready, General."

"Excellent! Water them, and we will let them scent their prey."

The guard picked up a little tin watering can with daisies painted on it, which was kind of bizarre, because what he poured out wasn't water. It was a dark red liquid, and I got the feeling it wasn't Hawaiian Punch.

"No duh Percy," Annabeth said. "It was blood!"

The soil erupted. I stepped back nervously.

In each spot where a tooth had been planted, a creature was struggling out of the dirt. The first of them said: "Mew?"

It was a kitten. A little orange tabby with stripes like a tiger. Then another appeared, until there were a dozen rolling around and playing in the dirt.

Everyone stared at them in disbelief.

Rachel laughed. "They planted kittens? That's unbelievable!"

Everyone just stared at her in shock.

The General roared, What is this? Cut cuddly kittens? Where did you find those teeth?"

The guard who'd brought the teeth cowered in fear.

"From the exhibit, sir! Just like you said. The saber-tooted tiger –"

"No, you idiot! I said the tyrannosaurus! Gather up those … those infernal fuzzy little beasts and take them outside. And never let me see your face again."

The terrified guard dropped his watering can. He gathered up the kittens and scampered out of the room.

"I'm surprised Atlas didn't kill the guard," Grover said.

"You!" The General pointed to another guard. "Get me the right teeth. NOW!"

The new guard ran off to carry out his orders.

"Imbeciles," Muttered the General.

"This is why I don't use mortals," Luke said. "They are too unreliable."

"Suck up!" Percy muttered under his breath.

"They are weak-minded, easily bought, and violent," the General said. "I love them."

A minute later, the guard hustled into the room with his hands full of large pointy teeth.

"Excellent," the General said. He climbed onto the balcony railing and jumped down, twenty feet.

Where he landed, the marble floor cracked under his leather shoes.

"I shall do this myself."

He held up one of the teeth and smiled. "Dinosaur teeth-ha! Those foolish mortals don't even know when they have dragon teeth in their possession. And not just any dragon teeth. These come from the ancient Sybaris herself!

There was a collective gasp from the group.

He planted them in the dirt, twelve in all. Then he scooped up the watering can. He sprinkled the soil with red liquid, tossed the can away, and held his arms out wide. "Rise!"

The dirt trembled. A single, skeletal hand shot out of the ground, grasping the air.

The General looked up at the balcony. "Quickly, do you have the scent?"

"Yesssss, lord," one of the snake ladies said. She took out a sash of silvery fabric, like the kind the Hunters wore.

"No …" Artemis said.

"Excellent," the General said. "Once my warriors catch its scent, they will pursuer its owner relentlessly. Nothing can stop them, no weapons known to half-blood or Hunter. They will tear the Hunters and their allies to shred. Toss it here!"

As he said that, skeletons erupted from the ground. They were nothing like Halloween skeletons, or the kind you might see in cheesy movies. These were growing flesh as I watched, turning into men, but men with dull gray skin, yellow eyes, and modern clothes – gray muscle shirts, camo pants, and combat boots. If you didn't look too closely, you could almost believe they were human, but their flesh was transparent and their bones shimmered underneath, like X-ray images.

"Those things that were chasing you when I first met you?" Rachel asked Percy.

He nodded.

Rachel shuddered, recalling the memory of the skeleton warriors.

The snake lady released the scarf and it fluttered down toward the General's hand. As soon as he gave it to the warriors, they would hunt Zoe and the others until they were extinct.

I didn't have time to think. I ran and jumped with all my might, plowing in the warriors and snatching the scarf out of the air.

"Thanks," Thalia said.

"What's this?" bellowed the General.

"An intruder," the General growled. "One cloaked in darkness. Seal the doors!"

"It's Percy Jackson!" Luke yelled. "It has to be."

"It is," Nico said.

I sprinted for the exit, but heard a ripping sound and realized the skeleton warrior had taken a chunk out of my sleeve. When I glanced back, he was holding the fabric up to his nose, sniffing the scent, handing it around to his friends. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. I squeezed through the door just as the guards slammed it shut behind me.

And then I ran.

"That's the end of the chapter," Annabeth said, tossing the book to Rachel.