This is Fritton's diary and I am not Fritton.
Fritton,
Hiding your diary in my wardrobe may keep prying Geeks from finding it but that doesn't mean that it'll stop me from finding it. Honestly, I would have thought you would have learnt the dos and don'ts of St Trinian life. I think you've been gossiping with Chelsea for too long since this foolish hiding place is clear evidence that you are being corrupted. If I find out you've decided to let Chloe dye your hair blonde or if I find out you've idiotically allowed Peaches to fake tan you, I won't be impressed. I'm afraid, dear Fritton, if I find that you have committed such a serve crime like joining the Totties or speaking like a foul mouthed Chav I will have to take appropriate action.
I wonder where you are now Fritton; I can't find you on the CCTV. I can't find Chelsea either so I'm going to take an educated guess and say that you two are snogging behind the bike sheds. If that is the case then I hope that you two watch out because I hear that my favourite first year twins are wiring that up to test their latest explosions. You wouldn't want to be stood there in just your underwear would you now Fritton? You may be a St Trinian now but you still have some of the Cheltenham qualities, honestly our sex life would become more pleasurable and frequent if you just learnt to not care.
I don't have much else to say to this book, I'm actually fighting the temptation to show your earlier entries to Polly. I'd show them to Chelsea but you two are always so busy gossiping about the royals, you're turning to the dark side young Jedi. I should have phrased that differently so that you would've read it in a Yoda voice, Polly resembles Yoda. Although, when I think about it, Polly isn't much of a physical fighter so she'd be a pathetic Jedi. Oh Fritton, this is what you do to me when you allow me to find you're diary. I can see why you keep one now though; it stops you from voicing thoughts that are Jedi related.
I have found your chocolate stash as well, if you aren't back within the next hour I will have to store it in a safe place. Where is that safe place? My digestive system. I'm going to have to ask Taylor to teach you how to hide things so that nobody can find them, she is excellent at that. However I fear that if I do that then you shall begin to shoplift with her gang of illiterate yobs; I doubt you'd make a decent criminal. I think that there is only room for one criminal in a relationship if it is to stay healthy and sadly you're too pure to be corrupted. Well, you aren't pure anymore but that is in a different context.
I'm sorry Belle, I'm not a writer and I never will be. I'm going to leave you to all of this soppy, teenage love business. I have bigger fish to fry, one of those being Chelsea if you two are actually snogging behind a bike shed.
Jones
It's short but I can't imagine Kelly writing loads in a diary
Review because I had the satisfying feeling of punching my ex in the face on bonfire fight ;3