"Guys! Guys! It's! Not! Me!" Dipper had been yelling since his friends had been forced out of the Shack by Bill. His voice echoed in his metaphysical ears. Not one of the teens responded to his screams.
"Cut it out kid," Bill mumbled, "You'll give yourself an aneurism." Bill tapped the boy's possessed head.
"What?!" Dipper yelled.
"Nah, I'm just joshin ya. You'll be fine…. Maybe. I dunno. Those slip ups might rip your soul up a little. Who knows! Don't worry though it'll just need a little patch work after all this!" He looked at the little Dipper tattoo and gave it a big thumbs up.
A ghostly sigh exited Dipper's lips, or rather, lack thereof. He took a look around from his trapped position. They were still in the Mystery Shack's backyard. The group had only been walking for a few minutes; Bill had said that the best place to "Scavenger Hunt" would be in the "creepy part" of the forest, both said with insanely over the top finger quotes.
Dipper knew the creepy part of the forest well, it was where he found the Journal in the first place, in a weird metal compartment. He had searched around that spot for hours, but hadn't found anything else of note.
"Hey dude, how much farther we gotta go?" Dipper heard Nate's voice.
"Oh come on, Nathan! Everyone loves a good round of tendon movements!" Bill exclaimed.
"What?" Nate sounded confused.
Bill rectified his statement, "Sorry. I meant 'walking'. That's it! Walking! Keep walking, Nathan!" He waved his noodle arms out in front of him, like an epileptic air traffic controller. Nate gave the boy a wide eyed stare, and walked back over to the other teens.
It took another ten minutes before Bill stopped the group. He clambered onto a large boulder, with surprising agility; his tiny arms and legs spidering up the rock. Bill stood stock straight at the top of the boulder and yelled at the teens.
"Okay boys and girl! We are here!"
Tambry sighed in relief, both Lee and Nate looked at each other nervously. Nate took a step forward. "Um, dude… it's been, um, cool hanging out with you, but, uh… this isn't really our bag. Ya know?" He looked at Lee and Tambry as he spoke, "Maybe we should like, just go back into town." Lee nodded along to his friend's words, Tambry just tapped on her phone apathetically.
"Oh thank god," Dipper sighed. "They'll leave, and then I talk Bill down."
"Fat chance, Pine Tree," Dipper was surprised how threatening Bill's nasally could sound.
Lee spoke up to the demon, "Uh, are you talking to us, or yourself? Cause I'm not a tree, and I don't think Nate's a tree." Nate shook his head. "I mean maybe Tambry, but I-."
"SILENCE ASHLEE!" Bill's voice became wholly inhuman. His thin pupils rolled back into his head, showing blackened veins.
The teens recoiled in horror. Nate ran behind Tambry with a yelp, who in turn dropped her phone and tried to get behind Lee. Lee was frozen in shock. "H-How do you know my full name?"
"What part of SILENCE did you not understand?!" Lee's mouth snapped shut. "And I know your name because I stole your wallet." Bill pulled Lee's wallet from his pocket and threw it at the thin teen. It smacked into his monstrous nose and slid onto the ground.
"Also, ten bucks. That's it?! What kind of privileged white kid are you?!" He got no answer, "Anyways, let's get down to business, flesh bags! You're gonna be lookin for a hidden bunker and or switch to said bunker, probably disguised as some kind of twig or log! It's gonna be hard to find, but don't worry I think you'll be able to do it!" He was ridiculously enthusiastic, "This is a big forest, and I have no idea where it'll be, so it could take hours if not days to find it!" The teens looked like they wanted to speak up at that, but were cutoff, "But don't worry, you'll have each other to help! So it shouldn't take much time at all!"
"Uh…." they all stammered in unison.
"GO!" They all scattered at Bill's hellish scream. As they ran, they heard Bill's demented laughter behind them.
Dipper finally spoke, "Bill, what's exactly your plan here? They don't know anything about the Journals or this stuff. And what do you mean bunker? Dipper tried reasoning with the demon, "I've already checked, I couldn't find anything else out here."
"I. Am. Splitting. Us," Bill enunciated every word painstakingly, "I've got one more idea on how to split us, without the book. And we're lucky those hormonal monkeys scare easy. Using them to help me, help us, Pine Tree, is a good thing. Don't get your ectoplasmic panties in a bunch, it'll be fine. And besides," he looked directly into the Dipper tattoo's eyes, "Even if they don't find anything, it'll be funny to watch'em run around for a few days! Hahahaha!"
The Dipper tattoo's smiling face turned into an anguished frown.
Nate looked up from a moss covered log with a frown. He checked his watch, 3 hours. He'd been searching for three freaking hours for some kind of "switch" for Dipper, who was apparently some kind of Omen, Exorcist freak kid, and he wasn't having any kind of luck.
The teenager peered over at Dipper, or Bill, who was still on that boulder, now lazily laying on it. His frown deepened at the sight. Here they were, him and his friends searching out of the goodness in their hearts, and uncontrollable fear, for….. he wasn't actually sure what, but none the less he was searching for it for a kid they barely knew, and he wasn't even helping.
Nate angrily stomped over to the boulder and yelled at the boy, "Dude! Come one, it's been like three hours or something, can we stop now, please?!"
Bill called back down, "No Nathan, no you can't!" Nate gritted his teeth at his full name. Only his grandma could call him that.
"You know what man! Screw this! I'm out!" he screamed.
Bill stood up, but didn't look at Nate. "Oh no you're not," he said in a matter-of- fact tone.
"Or what!? You're like twelve!? I can take you dude!" He crossed his tattooed arms over his thin frame.
Bill's neck cracked and to Nate's horror, turned until his face was staring at him. His body hadn't moved in the slightest. The boy's mouth dropped open and an unholy voice exited the gaping orifice, "OR I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!"
"Ahhhhhh!" Nate screeched. His limbs reflexively scrambled to get away, his flight response taking full control. He managed to get on all fours and rocketed away.
A sickening crack came from Bill's neck as he turned the head back to its proper facing. Somehow, there was no serious damage to the possessed boy's body. Dipper's voice echoed into Bill's mind.
"Bill! What are you doing to my body!? Normal people can't do that you know!?"
Bill laughed, "Ha! Please kid, I might not have all my normal omnipotence at my fingers, but I can work a puppet. Your disgusting, sweaty body will be fine. Besides, wasn't that great?! Ya think he pissed himself?"
"Eew! I don't know! You probably traumatized him for life," Dipper replied disgustedly.
"Ya think!? Aw, that'd be great," Bill said wistfully. Dipper could only groan in response.
Nate ran through a densely packed thicket of trees into a clearing. He saw Tambry sitting on a stump, eyes on her phone, sifting through a pile of rocks with her foot. She was trying, in vain, to get a signal, but the canopy of leaves and branches were blocking her efforts. A "No Signal" error came up for what felt like the millionth time.
Lee wasn't too far off from her, his head lulled against a rock. He was sporting a thousand yard stare, an occasional mumble would exit his lips. Something sounding like, "Don't call me Ashlee."
Nate ignored Lee and trudged over to Tambry. He heaved himself onto the stump next to her, a tired sigh dropped out of his mouth. He looked over to the girl, hoping for some feedback, but got nothing. He sighed again, this time louder.
Tambry rolled her eyes and addressed the boy, "Did he do the scary face at you again?" she asked, not really caring. Another "No Signal" was taking up most of her attention.
"Yeah," he sadly admitted, "You'd think it wouldn't work the fifth time, but that head… Eghgh," he groaned into his hands. "What happened, Tambers? What did we do to deserve this?"
"Don't call me Tambers," Tambry shot back, "And I guess following some kid we barely know into the "creepy part" of the forest, and not telling anybody about it, was a bad idea."
"Was that sarcasm?"
"I don't even know anymore…." her voice trailed off. She was staring intently at the top of her cellphone screen. There was something flickering. Yes! It was there! "Yes!" Tambry exclaimed, louder than Nate had ever heard from her, "I got it!"
"What?! Did you find something!? Can we leave now!" Hope surged through Nate's voice.
Tambry looked at Nate smiling, "Hm. Oh, no. I got a signal!" She happily clicked away on her phone.
"Ughgh! That's it!"
Her smile turned, "Hey, I have to stay in touch with all my friends. At all times!"
"Oh my God! No one cares whether or not you update your feed for two minutes! And a missed text or two isn't the end of the world!" Nate yelled, irritated at Tambry's "plugged in" nature.
Tambry gasped at his accusation, "You take that back! My voice is a vital part of the local online scene!" Nate could only roll his eyes at that.
At that point Lee decided to join the conversation, the shouting having shaken him from his vegetative state. He dragged himself over, a few tears still in his eyes, "At least you guys still have your dignity! My darkest secret's been broadcast to the world! I'll have to live in the dump with McGucket from now on!"
"Oh, get over it dude!" Nate groaned, "We all knew your name was Ashlee! I've known you since grade school!"
"Don't say it out loud!" Lee moaned.
The argument became unintelligible shouting at that point, each of their complaints swirled into a cacophony of annoying adolescence. None of them heard twigs snap, as someone else stepped into the clearing.
"Uh… guys?" a voice asked.
The trio stopped in their vocal tracks. Terror filled their hearts. Nate whirled around, arms held up in front of his eyes, and screamed.
"We're sorry, man! We'll keep looking!"
"Nate, what are you doing?" Nate cracked his eyes open at the familiar voice. It was Wendy. The group ran up and tackled the redhead to the ground in joy. She was used to the occasional dogpile, she was a Corduroy after all, but not from these guys.
"Guys!? What's up?! What's going on?" She tried to pull herself from her clutching friends. Nate looked up at her with tears in his eyes.
"Wendy! It's Dipper! He's nuts! He made us come out here to look for some fallout shelter or something, and he's got some weird, magic Area 51 mumbo jumbo going on!" Nate tried to get through the story without breaking down into sobs.
"Dipper? Uhh… I think you guys might have the wrong kid," Wendy said unconvinced, "Dipper's a little weird, but I don't think he could force a dog to sit, let alone get three people into a forest to look for what now?
"He's telling the truth," both Lee and Tambry exclaimed. Tambry took the lead, "We're not lying! Something's wrong with him, Wendy! It's like he's possessed!"
Wendy had heard some weird things since she'd gotten back from her family trip. Robbie hadn't answered any of her texts or calls, and she'd heard that the Gleeful kid had been found in a coma at his house. Then Stan had said that her friends were in the forest with Dipper, but she had just figured her friends were being nice to the kid. Dipper… Dipper couldn't be responsible for all this weirdness. Why would he? More importantly, how could he?
She pushed her friends off to stand. "Okay guys, I'll get to the bottom of this." Wendy pushed her cap further down on her head, she turned to leave the clearing, "He through here?" she asked, pointing to the trees.
They all nodded. They hoped she could talk him down. Wendy had a way with people, she was nice, thoughtful, and new how to put a bear in a full nelson. If anyone could get them out of this, it was her.
Wendy squeezed through the tall pines, a stern look on her face. She'd help her friends with this, and if Dipper was doing all this, she'd help him too.
She pulled herself from the old bark into another, larger, clearing. Wendy spotted Dipper on top of a boulder, staring off into space. She slowly walked over to the towering rock, and looked up at her younger friend.
"Heyya Dipper! How ya doin!" She yelled up at him.
Bill looked down over at the ginger teen. Dipper recognized the voice, he didn't have to see her to know.
"Wendy!"
Bill grinned. So this was Wendy in the flesh. He gave her a quick once over. She'd be just as easy as the rest.
"How ya doing, Red?" his nasally tone sounded off to Wendy. His cantor was off too, Dipper was always a stuttering mess around her, but he was cool as cucumber now.
Bill gave her a gash of a grin, "I'm glad you're here, Wendy! You can help me and your friends look for something!"
Wendy frowned at him, "Dipper, I think it's time they go home." She was stern with her words.
"Oh no! Come on, Red! It'll be fun! Running around with your friends. Using your eyes to look at all this….. nature! And stuff! Who doesn't want that?! Please Wendy, you can help out your old pal Dipper, can't you." Bill tried his hardest to sound convincingly cute, but could only manage being unbelievably creepy.
"Come on Wendy, don't buy it!" Dipper crossed his proverbial fingers in hope. Bill reached over and flicked the Dipper mark in annoyance.
Wendy saw the not so subtle movement. "You got a mosquito bite there, dude?"
"Huh? What?" Bill was confused, she wasn't brain dead like the others. His eyes widened as she jumped up onto the boulder and scaled up to the top, next to him. She took a step toward him.
"Here, let me take a look. I've got some aloe, might help."
"I don't have any!" Bill tried to step back, but found that he didn't have any more rock to step to, "Get away from me Red!"
Before he could try and jump away, Wendy grabbed Bill by the shirt and lifted him up. She looked into his eggy eyes. He tried wriggling from her grasp, but her lumberjack grip kept him still.
"Let's take a look at that bite," she mumbled. Her other hand reached out and pushed up one of Bill's long sleeves. The Dipper mark had morphed to look even more frantic, cartoonish sweat beads rolled off of it. Wendy looked deep into the tiny inked eyes, she recognized that anxious stare.
She looked back to Bill and smiled, "You're not Dipper."