Chapter 10:

Song: Autumn- Paolo Nutini

Arizona had no idea how she managed to drive home. She had managed to stop crying long enough to get in her car and drive. The thought of Callie was the only thing that gave her the strength. If she got home, at least Callie would be there, and that was all she could do get home without getting into an accident.

Callie was in a panic. She only had fifteen minutes left of the hour she had allocated before she called the hospital to check on Arizona. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the unmistakable sound of Arizona's car in the driveway. She ran to the front door, and opened it and her heart sunk when she saw Arizona. She was barely walking, and the devastation on her face was obvious. Callie ran out to Arizona, and held her as she collapsed in Callie's arms, sobbing uncontrollably as they sunk to the ground.

Callie knew that this had to do with Tim, there could not be any other explanation for the state that Arizona was in. "Oh honey", she said as she held on to Arizona tight, as if to protect her.

"Tim is dead, Calliope. They found him. He's dead". Callie's heart broke as Arizona repeated those words over and over into her ear. It broke for Arizona, and it broke again when she thought of Josie.

Callie carefully slid her arm underneath Arizona's knees, while she slid the other up to her neck, cradling Arizona like a baby. She lifted herself off the ground and carried Arizona into the house, somehow managing to shut the door with her leg and keep a tight grip on Arizona. "Josie?" Callie whispered to Arizona. Arizona shook her head and whispered back. "Tomorrow. Let her sleep one more night without knowing."

Callie nodded and carried Arizona up the stairs, only planting her on her feet when she reached Arizona's bedroom door. "Do you want me to stay Arizona?" she asked quietly, trying not to wake Josie, whose room was only down the hall.

Arizona nodded. Callie walked Arizona into her room and sat her on the bed. She peeled off Arizona's jacket and took off her shoes, before sitting down next to her, pulling her into a hug. Arizona cried into Callie's neck, nuzzling in to the only place she felt safe.

Arizona pulled back after a while, when her sobbing subsided. Callie touched her face and motioned to Arizona to lay down, but Arizona stopped. She leant over, glancing at Callie's lips and couldn't hold back any more. She held Callie's head in her hands, and kissed her, hard and passionately. Callie was surprised, but kissed her back. It was a sad kiss, but wonderful as well. She had been dying to kiss her for so long. Arizona's hands ran down the sides of Callie's neck to the top of her shirt, where she attempted to undo Callie's top button.

Something in Callie knew that she had to stop this now. It wasn't right. She wanted her first time with Arizona to be sweet, loving and sexy. And she didn't want it to be something that Arizona participated in out of grief, something that she would probably regret. She grabbed Arizona's wrists and pinned them to her sides, stopping her from continuing.

"Please Calliope", Arizona begged. "I need you. I need to feel you. I've waited so long, please."

Callie shook her head. "No, Arizona. Not like this."

Arizona's shoulders slumped under the weight of her devastation and now the rejection. Callie put one finger under Arizona's chin. "Arizona, look at me", she demanded.

Slowly, Arizona allowed her chin to be lifted by Callie, and looked into her eyes. "I'm right here Arizona", and she kissed her slowly and passionately and then broke the kiss to hold her close. "You can feel me now Arizona, I am here. But like this. I will stay and I will hold you, and though I so desperately want you too, I am not going to take advantage of you."

Arizona nodded and allowed herself to be pulled on to Callie's lap, as Callie leaned them into lying position on the bed, cradling Arizona as she sobbed, not once letting go, just holding her. She stayed the whole night.

Callie had not slept a wink. She had held Arizona as she cried all night. Arizona had fallen into a light sleep several times over the night, as exhaustion took over, only to wake up at intervals and cry. Arizona was asleep right now, and all Callie could do was stare at her tear stained face. Sunlight had just begun to creep through the window, illuminating the tiny light freckles across Arizona's face, and made her hair look like gold. She was the most beautiful person Callie had ever seen. She thought about the kisses they had shared, about the electricity that had coursed through her body whenever Arizona touched her. She knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Arizona, even if she spent the rest of her life putting the pieces of a broken Arizona back together.

Arizona stirred and a whimper escaped her lips. Callie froze, not wanting to rush Arizona out of her sleep, but she was awake. Her eyes fluttered open and the first thing Arizona saw was Callie's eyes staring right back into her, into her soul. They stayed like that, Callie raising her hand to tuck a golden lock behind Arizona's ear.

"Josie", Arizona whimpered, knowing that in a short while, she was going to turn her niece's life upside down once again.

"I know sweetie", Callie said, knowing exactly what Arizona meant. The thought of Josie facing yet another tragic hurdle in her life felt so unfair. "I will stay by your side if you want me to. But if you need your privacy, I can go stay at Mark's or something until you want me back."

Arizona's stomach dropped at the thought of Callie leaving. Selfish as it may be, she wasn't sure she would be able to keep it together without her. She began to cry. "No. Please don't leave me Calliope. I'm not sure I'll make it through this without you."

"Sshh honey. I won't leave for as long as you want me to stay." Callie pulled her closer and held her as tight as she could.

"Did the police tell you how Arizona? If you want to tell me, that is", Callie asked gently, trying not to be pushy. "He was murdered Calliope." Callie's breathed hitched in surprise, not expecting that answer.

"The police went through the evidence with me last night. A few weeks someone tried to use Tim's credit card. As we never cancelled the card so that we could track it and so that Tim might still have been able to use it if he somehow resurfaced, the police got wind of it immediately. They began tracking the person using it, and eventually identified the person using the card through surveillance footage. A warrant was issued for that person's property earlier this week. The police found multiple bodies buried on the property, and it appears they were murdered for identity theft and for credit cards. They haven't been able to identify the rest of the people buried on the property, suggesting that this was a carefully thought out scheme, as the police are assuming the majority of the remaining victims were not reported missing, meaning that they were people without close family and friends. Obviously they hadn't counted on the fact that Josie and I would never stop looking for Tim. Either that or they got the wrong guy." Arizona stopped, unable to speak anymore and buried herself into Callie, absorbing every little piece of comfort she could from Callie.

Callie was silent for a moment, trying to process the information. It was unbelievably overwhelming, and she had not even ever met Tim. She imagined though, that if he was anything like Josie or Arizona, that he would have been a wonderful man. "I'm so sorry Arizona", Callie whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"My parents will be here soon", Arizona said quietly, after a few minutes of silence. "They already know, and they wanted to be here, especially for Josie. I am going to have to tell her before they get here, and I just can't believe that I am going to have to break her little heart. She never deserved any of this pain."

"No, she really doesn't", Callie replied, instinctively intertwining her fingers with Arizona's, desperately trying to provide some type of comfort.

"Calliope. I want to ask you something, and I want you to know that I realise it sounds crazy. And fast. And probably would mean that we would be treading dangerous waters. But I'm going to ask it anyway. My parents will probably want to stay here for a while. They usually stay in the flat, but I don't want you to go anywhere. Would it be far too crazy if you stayed with Josie and I in the house, in the spare room, instead of staying in the flat? If it wouldn't make you too uncomfortable?"

Callie didn't answer immediately. She wanted nothing more than to stay with Arizona, the thought was like every single one of her daydreams from the last few weeks coming true. Deep down though, she knew that she would end up spending her nights in Arizona's room, rather than the guest room. And she knew that Arizona knew that too and assumed that this what Arizona was really asking for. But she knew that if she was to move in properly with Arizona, that she would no longer allow Arizona to pay her as a nanny. She refused to be paid when the relationship was crossing this kind of line. But she knew that this was something she wouldn't be able to bring up with Arizona right this minute, in the scheme of things, it didn't really matter right now. Just as she was about to open her mouth to accept, Arizona grabbed her hand and began to sit up. "It's okay Calliope. I knew it was too much to ask. I'll sort out something else, it's no problem."

Callie turned and pushed her gently back down on the bed, sweeping Arizona's hair from her face. "No, Arizona. I would love to stay with you, more than anything. But although it's most definitely not the time to talk about it now, we will need to talk about some things, about us. But right now, our priority is Josie. It'll only be another hour tops until she wakes up and her life changes all over again. Then your parents will be here. We will get to us when the time is right. But I want to be here for you every step of the way, to be strong for you, and for Josie, so of course I will stay here with you, your parents can take the flat."

Arizona leaned over and gently kissed her lips, tears falling down her face, unable to deal with all the emotions she was feeling and unable to answer Callie with words. She sunk back into Callie's arms for a few more minutes, knowing that this morning was only the beginning of the toughest time in her life.