'I've lost my baby. I'll never get him back. I'll never again take him into my arms, what I should have done more often. I'll never again ask him how his day was, what I should have done more often. I'll never again look what he's doing, before I go to bed, what I've done every night. I'll never again sit down and talk with him, what I've done so little. I'll never be able to tell him that I love him and that he's my baby. I'll never be able to tell him how sorry I am that things went so badly wrong. I'll never have the chance to tell him that this hasn't been his entire fault. I'll never be able to explain him the reasons for all this things.
What a mother forces her son out of the house? And now I'm sitting here, with the man who had known so much, but didn't tell my anything. He had known it all. My baby had suffered form huge pain, he nearly died and he knew it all and didn't tell me anything. He's the reason why my baby was alone. I should have let Dr. Mendel beat this man fit for hospital. But he's my husband and I love him. I really do. We went through so much together. But I can't forgive him this. My little baby. What must he think now? What must he feel? He must have the feeling as if he doesn't many anything to us, to me. But I guess he already felt like that. But that's not true. We've neglected him, too much. I've neglected him too much. I let him alone with his skills he obvious wasn't able to cope with. But I didn't care. We didn't care. Things got out of hand and instead of helping we only have screamed at him, punished him, although it had been our entire fault. If we only had cared. But this is easy to be said now. Now where I have no chance to improve anything. Now where I have no chance to say that I'm really sorry and that I love him. I really do. He had been twenty-two. Why did Chuck didn't behave like that? Why did he still treat him like the seventeen year old he had once been? What is he so afraid of that he has to behave like is own father once had? I have no answer. I only know that I want my baby back and that I feel miserable for all I've done to him.'