Cost Of Obedience
I can feel it in the weight of my shoulders, the fuzzies in my skull skittering around like rats. Lucas has run me ragged, and a little bit broke and beaten. Voices scream in my head. They sound a lot less like me and more like monsters every day. Eveline. That little monster, tore me away from myself day by day.
Every now and then I could feel a flash of wakefulness and horror before it was washed under a veil of black. Obedience to Lucas was never questioning and always touching him. I whimper when he touches me less and less, eyes disinterested. Am I wrong now? Tainted? But I love him. Both voices in my head echo this. One angry and confused the other crying uncontrollably.
So I tried to please him other ways. Sexually, mentally, and with my competence at building and playing with his toys. He had me hunting them across the woods. Chasing them down as I channel my past track star and pounce like an animal. He never let me finish the job. Never let me bite down on their jugular as I was poised to do. Sometimes I leave without a fight. Sometimes he has to drag me away kicking and screaming only to be shoved into one of his locked cells to calm down - or annoy him with my screams and sobbing enough that he releases the latch.
Today he has me keeping watch over an older black couple that escaped. I watch along with him on the monitors. I barely notice that I'm walking around like an animal, on my hands and toes, crouched at his feet. A pet indeed. He side-eyes me and kicks me away, but I just come back for more abuse. When I try to crawl into his lap as I would usually, he tossed me off and stomped on my arm. I try to not scream when I feel the snaps because he always gets worried when I cry.
Smiling a watery smile, I cradle my arm to my chest. It's nothing. I've gotten worse when Lucas would put me in the Pit with one of his toys. He always gave them a weapon, said it was to train me. For what I don't know. I carefully set the bones to heal right and pitifully crawl to his side leaning my head into his thigh. He doesn't push me away this time. He curses and bounces his legs erratically before just sighing and tugging my hair. It's long enough for short tugs now but not long enough to grip.
"I need ya to go hunting for me."
My smile feels too wide for my face. Lucas will be so happy when I get them for him, he might let me sleep in the bed tonight instead of just kicking me onto the floor. I don't understand why he does that. He's fine with having sex during the day but not in bed. It's rough and painful, and it makes me bleed sometimes, but I love it. I don't really like it when he starts to cry in my neck, though, and after that he wouldn't touch me for days. After the first few times I tried something he literally kicked me off, snapping my tailbone when I collided with the wall. He said sorry, though. He said sorry.
Crawling out like a beast I begin to run into the foliage where camera 32 is. There! The man is hiding, holding one of the many bats scattered around like a sword swinging at every noise. He's met Eveline's friends then. Tongue slipping over my teeth I creep closer. Nothing could have prepared me getting hit in the stomach as I stand up, the man's face smiling in victory as I drop and he begins to beat into my stomach and chest. Gasping as one of my organs ruptured I scream and cry like a bitch with undertones of rhythmic grunting.
It's soon met with the familiar hissing snarls of alligators chomping and snapping over to us. They creep, and the man stops in fear, edging away. With the reprieve, I force myself up and stumble to him. When I get closer, his eyes widen hilariously, and he swings at my head. I stop it with my still broken arm, the barely healed fractures re-breaking. With a guttural howl, I lunge and take the tall man down, teeth buried into his neck before I rear back, taking his jugular with me. I drop with him and turn to go look for the woman. The alligators can have him, he's useless now.
All it took was a shine. The glitter of a grimy little puddle by my side. I looked in and almost screamed in fear. Veins and capillaries filled with brackish blood staining my face in a grayish cast, and it might be a trick of the soft moonlight, but the whites of my eyes look yellow. My face is framed with reptile frills and boney spines, flared in shock like those weird exotic lizards. My gaping mouth turns in just a way I can see the forked tongue and slavering fangs too big for my mouth. Raised imprints of scales dot my skin like the faded freckles. Raising my hand, I see it shake in the water when I see the thick claws in place of nails. Gasps turn to hyperventilation, body shivering turns to painful convulsing as I slowly begin to change back to normal.
As I come to piece by piece my abnormalities sink into my skin, deep aching pain from the breaking and absorbing bones. My jaw cracks and breaks with every tooth I spit out as it grows back slowly. I feel like a teething toddler. My fingers bleed as claws begin to fall out and normal nails begin to grow rapidly in place. How had I never noticed?! I look around frantically and see the alligators I almost forgot about approaching the gurgling man.
"No!"
I rush at them waving my hands.
"Go! GET THE FUCK AWAY!"
I thought my heart stopped beating when they gave out rhythmic grunts and growls, but they turn tail and skulk back to the swamp. Gasping through the fear and locking quivering knees I stumble to the man and turn him onto his back. My heart sinks, and I know he's beyond help. Flaps of his throat dangles in shreds, and air escapes the bloody maw with a whistle. Hands flapping uselessly around his face, I sob.
"Oh god. Oh god, oh god please forgive me! I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry!"
His lips worked around silent words, and then he slumps into the bloody mud. I want to clean him up. I want to bury him properly. He was a tall and large man with skin a rich brown, and I felt a tug in my heart. He looks just like my father from the back. He even had his hair, short and peppered. Screaming I turn to the side and begin to vomit. Wiping my mouth, I reach for the stranger with a trembling hand, my mind and memories merging and separating at random.
"Dad? Daddy, wake up!"
One second I was a little girl trying to get her daddy awake to chase away my nightmares and a woman trying to undo the vile things she's done. I'm knocked from my memories by a blooming pain in my temple. Crying in pain, I fall to the side. The warm blood dribbled down the side of my face into my cleavage. It looks dark as night. The woman huffed and cried behind me holding the shotgun like a bat. It must be theirs, most of the guns are hidden by Jack or destroyed.
"You fucking cunt. You fucking bitch! You killed my husband!"
Biting my lip, I turn to face her.
"Yes. I did. There's something wrong with everyone that's here, and you need to get out. I can't control it none of us can."
She cocks the gun and aims, ignoring my sobs. She jerks it up a few times, and I get the memo. I stand and back away from the body.
"Stop! Please, I can help you!"
"Fuck you, you monster."
The woman was determined to live, I'll give her that. I was able to tilt my head and shove the barrel but not in time.
Bang!
My head whipped to the side violently. I gurgle unable to scream. Falling to my knees I feel for my face, pain, all-encompassing agony, raced up and down my spine. What little of my face that's left is on fire from the lack of mandible and throat. Hot buckshot peppered my chest the gore of my face, twinges of pain adding to the fire. The woman curses but reloads and aims for my temple. No hesitation. No mercy. She's putting me down like a rabid dog. I feel a sick sense of joy when an aluminum bat connects with the side of her head caving it in instantaneously. I drop to all fours and gurgle again trembling hands trying to pick up the shreds of mandible under them. I think I found the left side, a half complete jaw and cheek. I would have gagged if I could. My head is carefully tugged up by a hand in my hair, and I blink away the blurry shadows.
"FUCK!"
It's Lucas. He must have seen this on the cameras and came for me. My heart did a little jump, but that might be the shock. I can't breathe. How hasn't my heart stopped beating? Half of my neck is lying in front of my face, doesn't that kill people? I certainly want to be dead. He drops my head and bile comes up through my ruined pipes aggravating the wound and sliding into my just-as-fucked windpipe. My choking couldn't even be any more than gasping moans with wet flapping.
Collapsing on my side, I roll over and try to concentrate on something other than the blood pooling in the back of what's left of my throat and the pain of a missing face and slow drowning. This is where I die I guess. At least the view is nice. Half moon shining clearly through the diseased trees painting the leaves silver so you can't tell. I miss the sight of pines and mountains, but it'll have to do. Lucas is scurrying around the clearing frantically gathering up pieces as he goes. I look up at the man spitting curses like a cobra frantically trying to fix my jaw. This is the first time he's touched me intimately in so long that tears spring to my eyes. I try to reach for him before the black blankets me, but it's too late.
She's not healing. She's not fucking healing! After gathering as many jaw pieces as he could, he tossed the woman on his shoulder and raced back to the barn. Her body was still warm and heart still struggling to beat, but the lack of jugular might complicate that. He'd always known her body didn't take the mold as well as everyone else. She's weaker, slower, can't heal as fast. It's why he pits her against the assholes in the arena after that time his father went after her and took her legs. Forced her to crawl like that for a day but she doesn't even remember that.
Recently her body has been trying to purge itself by destroying infected cells. ALL of her cells are infected and replaced as soon as it happens, but that doesn't mean it doesn't affect her. It's making her sick as her organs systematically shut down and restart only to do it all over again. Tossing her onto the now junkyard-destined bed, he tries to jigsaw what he has with a mason jar full of whatever medical miracle Eveline spits up. Not like it can infect her anymore that it already has.
Her heart is barely beating, and it's been almost 20 minutes now. The half complete jaw and neck is barely stuck, and the regeneration hasn't started at all. Eveline, or whatever she wants them to see as her, skipped up behind Lucas who sat at the edge of the and scooped blood out of the back of the raw cavity in place of her throat. She already drowned once before he realized that he had to turn her jaw away before starting her heart.
"She'll probably die. Give her to me, I'll make her better."
A snarl twists his face grotesquely.
"An' turn her into one of yer friends. No Eveline. You gave her tah me so she's mine and I'm not letting her leave me again."
She giggles and gets into his face, monstrous features bulging.
"You love her too."
She disappeared without a trace, and he heaved in disgust. He always hated talking to that little bitch, but she has a weird fascination with Peach. It's getting out of hand. By now, she's been making her get up in the middle of the night to go with her somewhere. Peach never remembers in the morning, no surprise there, it's getting harder and harder to get her to remember more that direct orders, but Eveline always looks at her in cow-eyed worship. He's even thought about locking her up in one of the cells at night, but the annoying screams and cries kept him up at all hours. Might be remembering what happened last time she was locked in one of those. Might be separation anxiety like with pets. He hates letting her go with that little cunt so fucking much, but it'll keep her alive.
It was almost an hour later that a new face began to build, bridging the already present flesh and bone with almost hairline scars. If it took that long for Peach's body to accept the mold spores then she might be in more of a danger zone than he realized. The scars will be gone in a few weeks probably. It's the other side he's worried about. The meat of her face bubbles and writhes in the effort it takes to regenerate, black blood seeping and helping the process. In the corner of her jaw, under her half gone ear, gnarled scar tissue begins to grow a whitish pink. She'll have it for the rest of her life. Just like the one on her stomach or the ones encircled around her thighs from the recent dismemberment. It'll fade and recolor with time, but a scar is a scar. Knowing she'll live through the night, Lucas shuffles around and boots up an old laptop onto the makeshift desk in the corner.
Cracking his knuckles, Lucas looks back at the woman sprawled on the bed, doubt almost making him slam close the booting-up laptop. But no. He can't. It's not a thought of if he can trust her anymore, the woman is enamored even under all that mold. No, it's more of a question of if he should. The bright light of the computer washes over her. Her face is slack and smiling through the blood, and by gawd, his heart just about skipped. That decides it then. Besides, he thinks, I doubt I could get as close to another woman evah again.
Logging into his email, he reads this week's demands of observations and shoots of a message to the big man himself.
"Hey, Biggy Man. Ima need some supplies before this week's report. Enough serum for a young woman 3 1/2 months molded."
He taps his fingers erratically and jumps his leg like a piston waiting for the response. He always responds within the hour. 10 minutes later his inbox pings to life.
"I will need measurements and age, but I think I can pull some strings. May I ask why?"
He almost sighed in relief. He was almost worried they couldn't do it, but they haven't let him down yet. Money, sophisticated electronics, and now more serum. It's gonna be one hell of a kick in the teeth when he breaks from them too.
"Good. Get it done or no report. The wife and I need a clean break from Eveline, so I'm gettin her lucid."