"Of course," said Yuna, and ran to her bedroom. She came back, beaming, holding a sphere. "I've got a doozy for our favorite Al Bhed sphere hunter!"

"What is it?" I said, reaching for it.

She snatched it away. "Ah, ah! This is for Rikku."

I beamed.

"Let's see if Lulu or Wakka want to come," she said. "The more the merrier, right? And it sounds like that place needs some merry. Not to mention my cousin."

Wakka elected to stay behind; the bridges were nearing completion. Lulu and Yuna made great company for an otherwise rather dismal voyage.

Their stories of settled life on the island struck me with bittersweetness. Travel had infected my feet, possibly permanently, but the way they spoke of home made me think how nice it would be to sleep in the same bed night after night.

"This place hasn't changed much," said Lulu as we sailed into Baaj's oppressive gloom.

Yuna shivered and rubbed her arms. "I can't believe people live here."

"Mm," I said, my heart sinking once more to where it had been when I left. I remembered all too clearly how it had felt to see Rikku, that last day, and I didn't like to think of feeling that way again.

Niven met the boat at the dock. He looked surprised to see us.

"Why, ah, High Summoner Yuna! And Sir Auron, and Guardian Lulu!" said Niven. "What an… ah… unexpected honor!" His hands flapped gleefully. "To what do we owe this… ah… ah… honor?"

"We're here to see Rikku," said Yuna.

"Rikku?" Niven frowned. "But… she left three days ago."

Suddenly the island seemed a lot colder. Icy cold.

"What did she find, right before she left?" I said.

"What?" he said.

"The last sphere she looked at—what was it?" I said.

"I… ah… I'm not sure. We… we could ask the preservationists who were in the stacks at the time…" he said.

I climbed out of the boat so fast Niven skittered back. "Yes. Let's."

No one knew. No one so much as knew where she'd been looking. I wasn't about to go through those stacks on a wild goose chase, not even knowing what I was seeking.

We re-boarded the boat to head back to Besaid. I stood in the prow, gripping the rail.

"Auron?" said Yuna.

"Hmm," I said, eyes fixed on the endless horizon.

"I'm worried about her too," said Yuna.

"Are you going to Bikanel?" said Lulu, on my other side.

I didn't answer.

"Auron…" Yuna's bare foot nudged mine. I became aware how convulsively I was tapping it.

"I don't know," I said, my jaw tight.

My mind emblazoned repeatedly my memory of finding her collapsed in Yunalesca's chamber, all alone and near death. Rikku had a history of acting first and thinking later, if at all, when she was set on something. With no back-up plan.

Unless I'm supposed to be her back-up plan, I thought resentfully, but then remembered how she'd looked when she'd sent me away. No. She didn't want me there. And I think she didn't want me there because she knew I wouldn't approve of whatever it was she was planning.

By the time we got back to Besaid, I had decided. I took the next boat to Bikanel. Yuna was torn, but in the end decided to stay on Besaid with Lulu.

"Auron… I think she'll be all right," said Yuna. "She's Rikku. Sometimes she can be impulsive, but she's stronger than anyone I know."

"You may be right," I said, not really believing it.

"Good luck," said Lulu.

"Thank you," I said, my eyes already on the horizon again.

I could really use that airship…

Tromping around in the desert heat did nothing to improve my state of mind. Brother found out I was back in camp and tracked me down.

"You've returned!" he cried exultantly. "You've reconsidered our offer. You've parted ways with…"

"I'm looking for anyone who can tell me what Rikku was looking at the day we were here," I cut him off, in no mood. "Any records of the spheres she found or looked at, anyone who might have mentioned a sphere in Baaj Temple."

Brother looked taken aback. I relented.

"I will ask around. Did you find that airship?" I said.

"Yes," he said.

"What? Really?" I wasn't expecting that. "How much money do you need to get it in working order?"

"Well…" His voice took on a wheedling tone.

I grabbed him by the suspenders and bodily lifted him. "Do not con me. Not today. Your sister may be in danger. I need a way to locate her quickly once I find out where she went and why."

"Hey, hey, why don't we all take a chill pill?" said Gippal, jogging up.

"My sister?" squeaked Brother.

I set him down. "Just tell me how much, and I will make it happen. I do not have time for bargaining or bullshit."

Brother named an exorbitant amount. I glared at him. He held up his hands, backing up a step. "I swear! You can talk to Buddy, he can show you the list of parts and labor we need!"

I handed over the cash. Brother tried to hug me, babbling effusive thanks. I gently pushed him away. "Go!"

"Is something the matter, Sir Auron?" said Gippal, oozing calm.

"I need to talk to anyone who talked to Rikku the day we were here, and records of any spheres she found or looked at," I said.

He sucked in air over his teeth. "That's a pretty tall order, even for the Legendary Guardian. We don't keep records that detailed."

"Then I would appreciate any help you could offer in asking around," I said. "Otherwise, I will do it on my own."

"Let it never be said I didn't do my duty by Rikku's friend," said Gippal. "Of course I'll help."

I looked sidelong at him. "You… care about her?"

"Maybe not as much as you, but yes, I do. Also I owe her, big time. Don't ask." His voice was sharp. I didn't. We went around the camp and asked everyone we could find who had seen and talked to Rikku that day.

"Is this everyone who was there?" I said.

Gippal shook his head. "There are some further afield who might have seen her. As I said, we don't keep detailed records of who was where, when."

"Further afield?" I said, heart sinking.

He eyed my robes, probably thinking much the same thing Rikku thought when I first suggested Bikanel—as I now desperately wished I hadn't.

"Canteens," I said. "Then we go."

"NHADALA!" Gippal had to scream over roar of the welding torch the scantily clad Al Bhed woman was using on a broken-down fan vehicle, next to a second one. At last the woman heard him or saw him waving frantically, shut off the torch, and lifted her helmet visor. She climbed out of the contraption as we approached.

"Did you by any chance talk to Rikku a couple of weeks ago when she came through?" said Gippal.

"Yeah," said Nhadala.

"Did you tell her anything about a sphere in Baaj Temple?" I said.

"You mean the one about the fayth?" she said.

"What one about the fayth?" I said.

"It was just a rumor, I don't know if it's true," she said.

"Tell me!" I snapped. She looked taken aback. "My apologies. This is very important."

"I heard from someone at one of the other digs that they'd heard of a sphere in Baaj that talked about the creation of the fayth," said Nhadala. "Like, how the fayth were made. It belonged to Jyscal Guado's wife, apparently, and that's why it wound up in Baaj. So I heard."

"Huh. Weird. Why would Rikku want that?" said Gippal. "There are no fayth anymore."

That's why, I thought. It felt like the sand gave way beneath me and the world stood ready to swallow me down into a pit of panic.

"Sir Auron?" said Gippal.

"I need to get back to the docks, immediately," I said.

"Nhadala, can I take your fansled? I'll bring it back here once I've dropped him off," said Gippal.

She nodded and pulled her visor down, climbing back into the broken sled. Gippal and I ran to the working vehicle.

"Is Rikku in trouble?" he said.

"She may be," I said, unwilling to voice the awful thoughts I was having.

"What can I do?" he said.

"Get me to the dock, and tell Buddy and Brother to come find me immediately as soon as the airship is ready," I said.

He nodded, cranked up the fans, and we were off.

I remembered the longest run of my life, to get to the Chamber of the Fayth in Yevon Dome. I suspected this one would be even longer. My chest felt like it was bound up in a cage of iron.

Where would you go? I thought. I wish I believed in something, anything, that could give me a sign of where you are. Whatever fayth sent you back in time… long gone now, all the dreaming fayth.

Dreaming.

I really hope you're not planning what I think you're planning.

I really hope you haven't already succeeded.

Tysh ed, Rikku.

I barked a laugh.

"What?" Gippal yelled over the fans.

"I know where she went. If she's doing what I think she's doing." I remembered her forced smile, her tear-filled eyes, hugging her goodbye in the fog at the dock, and my stomach turned over.

Gippal arranged a boat to take me to Zanarkand. A frustratingly long voyage. I paced the deck until exhaustion took me over, and granted me a few hours of restless sleep haunted by nightmares blended with memories.

"Rikku, wake up!"

She thrashed awake in my arms, eyes wide, gasping.

"You were screaming in your sleep," I said.

She looked up at me, touched my face. Her hand was shaking. Her eyes focused.

"Are you all right?" I said.

"F-fine," she stammered. She lay back down, and turned on her side, away from me.

After a few nights, she started dosing herself with sleeping powder. I think she thought I didn't notice her taking more and more, and then taking it with sake.

I noticed.

Head spinning, I came up on deck for fresh air. I remembered seeing her at the rail of so many boats, early on in our sphere hunting, turning her face into the spray. I'd scoffed at her.

"Don't knock it 'till you've tried it, old man," she said, jabbing me in the ribs.

At some point it had switched. I was the one leaning into the rain of water, and she was the one turning away. I was the one basking in the sun, she was the one heading into darkness. I was the one embracing life, she was the one…

I stared out at the moonless night, the stars meeting the pitch-dark sea, restless in its sleep.

How did it all begin? I wondered helplessly, casting my mind back over the past year and a half, and then further. When did it start?

Listen to my story.

There may not be much time left.

In fact, it may already be too late.