Here you go, as promised.

I was abruptly woken by a banging headache.

"Urgh" What did I do last night?

I reluctantly sat up in my bed and looked down at my clothes. Huh, still in my party clothes. Figures. It must have been one hell of a night. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something move. I looked over at a sleeping form in the middle of my bedroom and squeaked. Who the hell is in here? I jumped out of my bed and made my way over. When I was halfway there I figured out that it was a boy and I froze. Oh my god, please, please, please don't say I did anything last night. I whimpered before shaking him awake.

"Go away." A velvet voice mumbled and rolled over. Edward?

I shuck him again and he hit me in the face. "Edward!" I screamed and he sat up right gasping his apologies. "God, Bella I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it!"

"You bloody idiot. I think it's broken!"

"Shit Bella, I am so sorry."

"Quit apologising you dickhead." I was frantically running around clutching my nose and probably looked a bit like a freak from were Edward was sitting. Once I thought that I could lose it I screamed at Edward again. "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED LAST NIGHT AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?!"

Edward bit his lip trying to keep from laughing. "Erm…Bella?"

"WHATT!!!!" I was quickly losing my patience with this idiot and wanted him to piss off. Who does he think he is? Sleeping in my room, then attempting to break my nose. I growled, waiting for him to finish.

"Well, for starters this isn't your room." He stated trying to look uninterested. I was still hissing from the broken nose and blood dripping down my chin. I looked around suddenly and realised that it was not in fact my room. I don't know where I was. "Edward, where are we?"

He actually had to think about it. "Well we went to that party and I can't remember leaving so we must be in somebody's bedroom." My eyes widened at the thought.

"Shit, we need to scram." Edward had already stood up and was tying his laces. He grabbed my hand and we were flying down the stairs. It was so weird when Edward touched me because my body would always go into spasms and I would become all flushed. I don't know why it had such an effect on me because I despised him with a passion. Or did I? Sometimes Edward can be so nice to me; like the other morning. I was late getting up for school and I ran downstairs still getting dressed. We had to leave in five minutes otherwise I would be getting detention. To say the least, I was panicking. Edward was the only person left in the house and he passed his pancakes over without even hesitating. Things like that make me feel ok around him. And then there are times when I feel like shooting him but I don't want to think about them at the moment.

Edward must be at least the tiniest bit attracted me. I mean, he got a stiffy on me and I was only sitting on his lap. Cringe. Edward thought it was time to bring me out of my thoughts. We were now currently in his car and driving away.

"Soooo…Can you not remember a thing last night?"

Hmm… what did happen last night? Thinking, I'm thinking….

Shit.

"Oh my fucking god."

He laughed. "I knew it would come back to you."

"But Edward, I got drunk, and I cried on you and…Eww… you were kissing a walking STD." He swerved to the right and the car came to a halt. He was laughing so hard that he could hardly breathe and I couldn't help but laugh right along with him. Damn this is so weird. Me and Edward just don't do this stuff. When we both stopped laughing I smiled and him. I actually smiled at him.

Wait, why do I hate him anyway? Because he was annoying? Because he likes to mess around with girls? That's just who he is. Maybe he actually has a nice personality but I've never realised. "Edward…?"

"Yeah?" he was whispering right along with me.

"Maybe we can be friends?"

"Maybe we can."

Edward's POV.

When she told me that we could be friends my heart stopped beating.

Bella's POV.

Edward's face glowed with a smile and we drove off again.

When we got back to the house I shut myself in my room and thought for a very long time. Without even thinking about it last night I gave Edward a small amount of my heart. I actually opened up and said something to him about my suffering and when I broke down he was there. I think that it will take a long time to bond like normal people but we are slowly getting there. I wonder what my mom thinks of this. I started smiling again. Would she be proud of my or disappointed that I am bonding so quickly with other people?

I can remember when she was alive and we had small random talk. I told her once that if anything ever happened to her and I had to live with someone else I would never get close to them. All I would do for years was think about her and think about the good times. I can remember telling her these words. 'If you died mom there would be no other reason to get close to anybody else. You are my best friend and I can't imagine life without you.' I know that I was crying at this point and she pulled me onto her lap saying that nothing like that would ever happen and to stop being so silly. But she lied to me. She got herself killed by my dad of all people and I can never forgive them for this.

I was never close to my dad as I never saw him; but I do know that I loved him. In a twisted way he was my dad and you have to love your dad. When I went to see him in the summers he would always make me feel better if I got homesick and I liked cleaning up after him. It made me feel mature and then I would start looking after my mom more. She was always a child and I couldn't help but pick up some of her habits. It's just who she was. Dad made me grow up.

Why did it have to be my dad of all people to kill my mom though? I can't think of how somebody could be so mean. I know that he was jealous of her because he wanted me all the time. He was angry that she got to see me grow up. He loves me and in a sick twisted way, he thinks I love him too. Maybe I do? Maybe I don't? Even if somebody you love kills somebody you love even more, is it even possible to hate them completely?

I looked over at the clock. 7:00pm. I had been cooped in this room for over 6 hours just thinking. What a waste of a day.

Knock, knock!

Esme stuck her head around the corner.

"Hey Bella. Are you ok sweetie?"

I didn't realise that I had been crying the whole time. Over the time that I had been here I had never once tried to speak to Esme. This made me cry even harder. It's not fair of me to ignore her this way.

"Oh my dear…"

She closed my door and walked over to me. "What's been on your mind dear?" I couldn't take it anymore and lunged at her. I hugged and squeezed her as hard as I could and she back to me. She is hurting just as much as I am.

"Oh god Esme, I'm so sorry…So, so sorry!" I blubbered on her shoulder.

"Shhh sweetie. It's ok."

"It's not. I shouldn't be treating you this way. I want to start again, please Esme. I feel so lost all the time and I need you." My cries were becoming hysterical.

"Shhh...Shhh…Sweetie, it wasn't your fault. I could have come and spoke to you whenever I would have liked but I chose not to because I wanted to give you time. You lost someone extremely precious to you and…"

She whispered the last part.

"And I just don't want you to think that I am replacing your mother."

She began to cry with me. I don't know how long we lay there for, wrapped in each other's arms but she soon had to get up.

"Listen, how about I make my special dish for tonight and we can all have a nice dinner together. Huh?" She was wiping the rest of her small tears away and sniffling still. I pulled myself together.

"That would be nice Esme. Thank you."

She gave me one last hug and left me to clean myself up.

Jesus fucking Christ, were the fuck did all of that come from? All of these irrational thoughts kept swimming around in my head and I started to get a migraine. Oh god, I need to get rid of this pain. This emotional pain. I need alcohol.

Mom I love you so much but I need to make other people happy too. I need to be able to love Esme in a way so that we can all get through these next couple of years without depression. I have caused havoc into the Cullen family home and I need to make it right. Now all I need to do is get out of the house.

I got out of bed and silently got dressed into the few party clothes I owned. Well, more like gothic clothes. I looked into the mirror and scared myself. Bloody hell, it's been a long times since I have worn anything like this. I had a small slinky black top on with no sleeves and it had it came together with the lace tied at the back with my bat skirt with lace underneath and purple colour to it.

My shoes were a whole different thing. They came up to my knees with huge buckles all the way up and 5 ¾ platforms. I left my face clean of makeup except for some blood red lipstick and added my cross chocker on to finish the look. Although I may look cool, if anybody saw me they would probably run a mile. That was what I was trying to achieve. I don't want any slinky chaps walking up to me tonight because tonight is my night of getting plastered all by myself. The guys got guts if any walk up to me tonight. I look dangerous, unapproachable…deadly.

I took my boots off to prevent noises and tip toed down the stairs.

"Bella?"

Shit. I'm busted.

I spun around and at the top of the stairs Edward stood there with a confused and surprised expression. I gave him an innocent smile.

"Hey Edward." I began walking down the stairs again hoping he would leave it.

"Where are you going?" I sighed, defeated.

"I want to go out."

"But I thought we were all having dinner with Esme?" He had a sorrowful tone to his voice and I began to feel guilty. I will have to stay for dinner.

"Fine."

We were both at the bottom of the stairs now and he was grinning at me. He looked me up and down and whistled. I hit him in the chest.

"Shut up." But I was laughing. I did look a little extreme and never wear miniskirts. He was probably in shock. He coughed to hide his laugh.

"Well…you sure look erm… dressed up." I began to blush.

"I just want to go out."

He raised an eyebrow "Were to? A graveyard?" I hit him again and he barked another laugh.

"No I'm just going to find a club to get into."

He stopped laughing and gave me a troubled expression. "Bella, you drank last night. Ease it down a bit. You wouldn't be able to get in anyway."

I began to get angry. What is it to him anyway what I do? "Hey! Listen, it's got nothing to do with you, as to what I do and I can get into any club looking like this. You don't need ID to have fun anymore; they just let you in anyway."

He gave me a questioning look. "And you're going on your own." I bit my lip and looked down.

"Yes." I didn't chance a look at him. He would be angry with me.

"Are you shitting me?! You can't go out to a club by yourself looking like that. You'll get raped for god's sake."

How dare he call me a hooker? "Fuck you Edward." I began to walk around him but he grabbed my wrist. The tingles took over my right arm. "Bella at least let me come with you. How am I supposed to know if you will be ok?" he pleaded with me. His expression was heartbreaking.

"Why the fucks do you care Edward?!" I spat at him. His expression was murderous.

"You know that we are friends now Bella and friends look out for each other." I put a calm façade on my face and hoped that he would let me be.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I know that we are friends now, but I need to do this alone." I pleaded with him. He was still gripping my wrist.

"Why, are you meeting somebody?!" This got him angry.

"NO EDWARD! Of course not. Why the fuck would I be looking for a relationship when all of this shit has been going on recently? Are you mad?!"

"No, sorry. But at least let me drive you there. Please. I need to know that you got there safe." Damn, he looked so sad. My heart broke for him. WTF?! Why would my heart do that? I haven't done anything wrong. But I could make a deal with him on that. I forgot about how I was going to get there as I haven't had my new car yet.

"Deal." He slid his hand down my wrist to my hands and shook it. "Deal." And he smiled.

Hey I thought I should stop there but the dinner and club will be in the next chapter.

Can you please read this so we can clear a few things up?

I have just turned fourteen and have just stared year nine. This of course means that I am a very inexperienced writer. This story is very poorly written and once it's finished I may think about re-writing it.

I went to an awful primary school and can't remember one lesson that I had there so really I have only had two and a half years of experience in anything. I have tried really hard and am quite smart despite this and really… I just want you to understand.

If I could have chosen to get me rolled into an amazing primary and high school I would have and I just want you to know that I can't be perfect. As far as I can see, this story is a load of crap but I am trying so hard to write it for all of you.

Please understand that I try really hard and I'm so sorry for the long updates.

Review my lovelies.

Erin x