CHAPTER 10!
sing
Here we go 'ere we go 'ere we gooooooooooooo,
Here we go 'ere we go 'ere we gooooooooooooo,
Here we go 'ere we go 'ere we gooooooooooooo,
Here we gooooooooo, here we gooooooooooooooooooo…….
Disclaimers: I obviously am not claiming to own any of these characters, so please don't sue, everybody knows full well that they belong to J.K. Rowling and are kept on a tight leash. The storyline is mine though. applause applause ;)
Minerva's POV
PLEASE REVEIW
"Severus…" she half screamed his name and her voiced cracked with emotion.
She staggered inside, hearing a loud crack as something broke underfoot, but she did not take her eyes off Severus. What the hell had happened to him? Had the Death Eaters attacked Severus here? How was that possible? Albus would have known if they'd got inside the school…wouldn't he?
She performed a number of spells in quick succession. Light burst from the ceiling, the chains disappeared and Severus was levitated onto the blood stained bed.
Minerva knew she had to tell Albus, he had to know, but Severus was close to death and she did not dare waste any more time. God, why hadn't she checked on him sooner? And what were the odds that this would happen on Poppy's weekend off, for Christ's sake?
The headmaster was highly skilled in the art of healing. Minerva didn't have the expertise to deal with internal bleeding, but she figured that by stopping blood loss from external wounds she would stabilise Severus long enough for her to get Albus.
She used healing spells to cleanse and close each of the lacerations in turn.
Then, scanning Severus' meticulously organised shelves, she located vials of Blood Replenishing Draught, Skele-grow, Burn Ease, Pain Preventer and various other necessary healers, which she then carried over to Severus, who was still lying on the bed, his skin almost translucent in the bright light.
The man looked strangely vulnerable and exposed with his room suddenly flooded with unfamiliar light. It seemed perverse to invade his personal sanctuary with this harsh light that he spent his every waking hour trying to escape. She lessened the light slightly with a flick of her wand.
She stared at her colleague's worn face. She knew people three times this man's age that had suffered less in their entire lives than he did in a week. Minerva had no idea how Severus handled it, but she intended to force Albus to make the boy stop this lifestyle. No one could survive in such circumstances.
She wracked her mind, trying to remember the correct dosage of each potion. It was ironic really; that the man lying there in such need of all these things would have known exactly what prescription of each potion was necessary.
Minerva decided to wake Severus up, he wouldn't appreciate being given potions without his permission and she couldn't risk making him more ill.
She leant in close to him and whispered,
"Enervate."
The cool black orbs of his eyes scanned her face as he drowsily came round. He seemed half blinded in the light. She stroked his hair carefully behind his ear and his eyes began to dart around the room.
"God, Severus, you have lived too long in the dark."
He gave a rasping cough, that in another life, might have been a laugh. His head rolled gently to one side and he caught sight of the bottles. She gave a weak smile.
"What do you need, Severus?"
He pointed to various bottles and recited dosages. Minerva measured them as accurately as she could manage and helped him to swallow, trying to control the unexplainable, compulsive gagging that inevitably followed. A thought struck her.
"When was the last time you ate Severus?"
He groaned and rolled his eyes, trying to sit up, to remove himself from the situation. She realised that he was already growing stronger. She was impressed; his potions had to be incredibly powerful.
"Answer me Severus, when did you last eat?"
"Not much of an eater really, Minerva," he smiled subtly and pulled himself up on the bedpost. She grasped his bony arm as he swayed unsteadily on his legs, but he pushed her away gently.
"There are other ways to keep yourself alive."
She didn't doubt it. Looking up at the towering shelves, sagging under the weight of hundreds of potions, Minerva felt herself believing that Severus could make anything possible.
"Where are my robes," he asked quietly, looking down at his bare chest. There were still some odd bumps under the skin, but the bruises and the cuts had been healed and she had cleaned the blood from his face and torso, although some remained in his hair. It looked disgusting, but no change there.
"Where are my robes?" he asked again savagely. She lost her temper. He was unbelievable sometimes!
"Where are your robes? I don't know Severus?"She yelled in a patronising voice, laden with sarcasm,
"I didn't stop to look for them, I was too busy saving your life!"
He deliberately turned his back on her and opened a drawer, withdrawing a folded black robe.
"I'll remember to find those first next time, I'll just leave you hanging in chains with blood pouring from every orifice,"
He froze suddenly, but she ranted on,
"until I've ensured that every bloody item of your wardrobe is in it's correct place!"
The silence was deafening. Severus was still standing frozen with his back to her. She was panting slightly. He lowered his head and she sighed, feeling slightly ashamed.
"I'm sorry, Severus. It's just, when I came into this room…you were so…" she swallowed tearfully, "I didn't know if you were dead or alive. I didn't know what had happened…I still don't…so I did my best to safe your life…you wake up and you ask what I did with your robes!" her voice had risen somewhat hysterically,
"God, Severus I was so scared…"
He nodded slowly and turned to face her, murmuring softly.
"Yes…I'm sorry Minerva, I didn't want you to see that…"
"Severus." She frowned, "I'd say it's lucky that I did see that, otherwise this night would have ended very differently."
The man shook his head sadly, "I'm sorry."
"Severus." She moved closer to the tall man, looking into his eyes, "This is not your fault."
He gave a bitter smile and began to lift his clean robes over his head, "That's debatable Minerva."
"Well, you know who's side I'm…" She broke off as he let out a hiss of pain, his robes stuck halfway over his shoulders. "What? Where does it hurt?" She yanked the robes down the rest of the way.
He groaned in frustration,
"I think I've dislocated this bloody shoulder," he touched it gingerly. She rested a hand on his chest to help him, but he winced again, "And possibly broken a couple of ribs too."
She snatched her hand back and smiled apologetically. "I only healed the external wounds, I'm not really qualified to do any more than that."
He nodded and smiled,
"…and you knew I wouldn't be overly pleased by any mistakes concerning my internal organs…"
"…and I knew that, yes..." She grinned and looked at him in sympathy. Then she let the smile fade away.
"What happened Severus?"
He drew back sighing,
"Minerva…"
"No, Severus." She followed him backwards, not letting him close in on himself, "You are not getting out of this, you are going to tell me what happened, if I have to keep you locked in this room until you do!"
"Minerva, please." Severus' dark eyes were morose and downcast, "You know I don't like to talk about that part of my life…"
"That part of your life! Severus, this is your life!" she was backing him into a wall, "Your involvement with them consumes every aspect of your being! Your heart and your soul and the very fires of your spirit are being destroyed and everyday your will to live diminishes that little bit more…"
She was just whispering now, her voice choked. Severus was leaning against the wall, his face contorted, his eyes closed, shaking his head in denial. She stared at his face, seeing what had become of the impulsive young man she had once known and a tear ran down her face. This wasn't right.
"I won't let him do this to you…" she whispered tightly. "I am going to see Albus."
She spun round purposefully and went to pick up her wand from the desk beside Severus' bed. She wiped the tear from her cheek.
"I wont stand by and watch you suffer like this. I will not let the Headmaster ask you to do this for him. It is too great a sacrifice…"
"What?" this voice was so cold that she turned around, just to check that it belonged to Severus.
"I've had enough Severus. It's getting ridiculous. You almost died…you can't even bring yourself to tell me what happened…"
"I can't Minerva…" he spoke through gritted teeth, his lips barely moving, "…I don't know what happened. I can't tell what's real and what's not anymore."
His voice died away. His pale hands were locked together. She could see the fingernails of one hand drawing blood from the other.
"It's alright Severus." She covered his hands with hers. "You stay here. Don't try to leave. I'll go and get the Headmaster, he'll be able to heal you properly."
"You can't tell Albus." His eyes were wide and out of focus, he shook slightly as he stared at the ground. Minerva backed away from the tall, unpredictable man before her. She could feel the power radiating off him. She wondered cautiously whether Severus had his wand or not.
"I must Severus, I have to stop this. It's destroying you. The Headmaster should have stopped it long ago. I'm ashamed of him…"
"He doesn't know, Minerva." He hissed her name like it was an insult.
"What?" She breathed in disbelief, "How could he not know?"
"It's quite simple."
His tone frightened her; he was focusing all his energy on the words, barely containing his emotions.
"I didn't tell him."
"Severus he has to know! If only he knew what you went through each time he wouldn't let you keep going!"
Severus just stared at her, she thought she could almost see sparks in the air crackling between them, filled with mystical energy.
"I'm going to get him." She backed away trying to subtly pick up her wand without making Severus feel threatened. She was filled with panic as he moved closer, his eyes blazing wildly.
" Severus, Albus has to know."
She was so close to her wand.
No sudden movements
No sudden movements
She was concentrating so hard, that his sudden movement caught her off guard.
Minerva found herself pinned up against the wall, Severus' right forearm pressing against her windpipe. The young man towered over her, his hair, tinted red with blood, clashed against the unnatural paleness of his skin.
She realised he had to be bleeding internally if the Blood Replenishing Potion had still left him this pale. She was terrified; she could feel the pulse in her neck beating frantically against Severus' bone.
"Severus, please," she croaked, her fingernails clawing against his bare wrist, desperately, "You need help, the Headmaster…"
"Minerva, let me make myself clear."
The coldness in his voice was emphasised as it rang out in the echoing stone dungeon.
"If you attempt to tell the Headmaster, I will kill you."
Minerva stopped struggling, filled with an absolute terror. She stared into his eyes and saw nothing but the endless dark of the deep black pools. He was on the very edge of reason, utterly capable of delivering this threat.
"Severus…" she whispered desperately, "this is meI only want what's best for you. You can't handle this alone…look what it's done to you!"
She gasped painfully as he cut her off, jerking his wrist sharply into her windpipe. His eyes swirled dangerously and she felt his passion, surging uncontrollably through his aura.
"What I can and cannot handle, Minerva, is not for you to decide." He spat viciously, "And this is not what made the wretched creature you see before you…"
His eyes flickered away as he tried to hide his emotion.
"I was already broken."
Minerva held her breath in trepidation. Severus just stared coldly down at his arm, still cutting into her throat. The wrist was now covered in raw, half moon cuts from Minerva's cruel fingernails. He showed no sign of reaction.
"I'm sorry." She moaned, her cracking voice braking the silence. The man looked up dejectedly.
"For what?"
"So many things, Severus. I should have helped you sooner." He frowned at her warily, as thoughts flashed through his mind.
"I don't know what you're talking about…" he murmured, his stance dismissive, obviously wanting to avoid the subject.
But it was too late now, she had to get these feelings off her chest; they were suffocating her. She caressed her throat with one hand. Her voice rose alarmingly in speed and volume as she spoke. Severus shook his head and began to back away from her.
" I should have been there, Severus. I should have noticed at school. I should have stopped him. I should have realised before, I…"
Severus roared,
"Why did you come here tonight?"
His eyes were livid and his hand was back at her neck, her body crushed into the stone. She wilted under his burning gaze,
"I… I saw you with Lucius."
His eyes filled slowly with realisation.
"I'm sorry." A muscle spasmed in his gaunt cheek and his wide eyes looked straight through her. She stammered on,
"I overheard what he said about your father and … I just couldn't believe it …had to see for myself that…oh, God, it's all my fault…I can't…now that I see what he did to you…"
Severus tightened his bony fingers and she gagged, unable to breathe. He leant in so close that their noses were almost touching and hissed, his face contorted,
"You have no idea what that man did to me."
His face was pure white and his neck muscles twitched dangerously. Suddenly Minerva found herself falling to the ground, as he threw her aside, roughly. She landed on her hands and knees with a jolt and drew deep, heaving breaths.
Then, raising her head, she saw Severus leaning heavily on the desk opposite with both hands. His thin back was turned to her. Worry flooded her mind, despite herself. Was he hurt? Or just regaining control?
Moving as quietly as possible she reached for her wand on the table, keeping her eyes fixed the unstable young man before her.
As she felt the wood beneath her fingers she stood up quickly, aiming at Severus' back. She jumped as his voice cut the tension.
"Do not attempt to hex me Minerva. You will regret it, I assure you."
She slowly lowered her wand, hesitantly. She felt highly disturbed by the quiet confidence of this man, although she could not see how he could stop her. Minerva was afraid to be in such close proximity to him now; she had forgotten, before, just how violent he could be when he snapped. She had underestimated him.
Rubbing her bruised neck, she edged towards the door, realising how lucky she'd been. If Severus had lost himself completely, she could have been killed.
That man had such power.
She glanced behind her to the doorway. What had she been thinking of, confronting him, with his emotions in this state? And bringing up his father? What was wrong with her?
"You cannot tell Albus what you have seen tonight."
Minerva spun around again, but Severus had not moved. His voice was flat and emotionless.
"The Headmaster will forbid me to return to the meetings and I must. Without my information and Albus' best efforts, we will lose this war. The Dark Lord has been sending me back in worse and worse states in an attempt to distract Albus. He cannot succeed. I have stopped the Headmaster from finding out so far. We cannot risk Dumbledore losing focus. I will do all I can to help win this war, no one knows better than I what we will be facing if we lose."
He straightened up slowly.
"I can't let you take this duty away from me."
"Severus, you suffer too much…"
" You are not one to judge such things, you do not know what I have done. I can take care of my injuries; I have done so for a long time. Albus has faith in me and I will not fail him."
She did not know what to say. She shook her head sadly and turned to leave. Severus did not understand. His soul was worth as much as anyone's, and he was sacrificing it out of some misguided notion of debt.
Albus would not want that. He would want to know, but she could not risk losing Severus' trust, not now that she saw how truly in need of help he was.
"Minerva, if you attempt to tell him, I will kill you."
She had no trouble believing him. Yet, she could feel nothing but pity for the man at this moment. He was losing what little control he had fought to maintain over his life.
She watched as he lowered his head and gazed beyond her, his haunted eyes unseeing.
"Taking one life to save thousands is what I consider a reasonable act."
Minerva watched him for a moment, in silence, then backed out of the room, escaping the piercing stare of the tortured young man.
Wahey!
Snape went a lil' bit mental! Did we enjoy that? Poor Minnie ;(
Review!
Please!
The next chapter will involve more characters, and then we'll start really getting in on the action!