A/N: As always, the reviews were love and I can't thank you all enough.
I can't even begin to tell you how excited that this chapter is finally being posted. Ask my girls Meg & Perla...I haven't been able to shut up about it for weeks!
I have to give a major thanks to Waitingfornow because she inspired me greatly with her story Breathe. She is an amazing author and you all should read her stories!
I highly recommend that you listen to the song 'Feeling Good' by Muse....the time for it will come about half way into the chapter. The song is amazing; link for the playlist on the profile, so definitely listen to it! With that, enjoy!
Chapter 10: Sweet Child O' Mine
She's got eyes of the bluest skies, as if they thought of rain. I hate to look into those eyes and see and ounce of pain. Her hair reminds me of a warm place, where as a child I'd hide and pray for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass me by.
"Shit!" I flinched again when a flash of lightening lit up the bedroom once more.
"Are you scared of lightening?" Lucy rephrased her previous question, biting that lip of hers, but this time trying to stop her laughter; she failed miserably.
"Ha, ha. Very fucking funny Lucy." I smirked, moving to get my things "I guess I should get going then." I reached for my jacket.
"No, wait!" she touched my arm hesitantly "Please, just…will you stay?" she asked, in a shy little voice. "I didn't mean to laugh at you. It's just, well…um, it's just thunder Jasper."
If only you fucking knew Lucy…if only.
"Won't your parents get pissed off? They aren't exactly fond of me you know."
"They won't be back until Sunday so you'll be fine. Please, I don't think I can handle being home alone."
"Oh, so now who's scared of the thunder?"
"Oh, I love thunder and lightning." She let go of my arm "I just don't like being alone in the dark. Besides, I can make you dinner. Or well, I can make you a sandwich or something since all the lights are out."
Such a typical girl. Well, you know how you feel about thunderstorms…and the girl's offering you to stay the night. So, you might as well keep your ass here.
"I guess so." I shrugged indifferently "It's better than being cooped up with Carlisle and Edward."
"You mean your family?" she frowned.
I could only scoff at the mention of the Cullens and family in the same sentence. Even after a few months of living with them, my mind still hasn't changed.
"It's okay Jasper, you don't have to say anything." She smiled slightly "Let's just head back downstairs and see what I can find."
"After you" I set everything back down and followed her out of the room. It was still raining pretty hard and every now and then, there was that bright flash. Luckily, Lucy was behind me so she wouldn't see me cringe every time. Walking down the stairs though, she nearly tripped twice in the dark.
"Graceful much?"
"It's dark" she frowned, grabbing a candle that was in the living room before heading into the kitchen. It was pretty dark but she was still able to mobilize around pretty easily. Throwing something together quickly for us to eat.
"I uh, I have to take my medicine and I don't really feel like going to the dark bathroom. So, can you turn around or something for a minute?"
"You're kidding me right?"
"Um, no?"
"Fine, whatever." I turned around, facing the wall for what only felt like thirty seconds before she told me it was okay to turn around.
We ate in almost relative silence. Partly because there wasn't much to say but mostly because I was still scared shitless with the thunderstorm that was still looming outside.
She did make idle chat however about that art project. She sure loved to talk about it. However, it was pretty evident that she had a love of art and so I just let her ramble, knowing it made her happy. My opinion didn't really matter. She was the art genius, I was just her art partner. Thankfully, she hadn't given me any shit for lacking in the artistic inspiration department. Though hearing about it was getting to be too much, I still let her talk. Because frankly, it was keeping my mind from thinking about everything else. The things I never wanted to really think about again.
"Should we just go to bed? We can't really work on the project anymore being as it's pretty dark in here now." she quickly changed the subject once we were finally done.
I took out my cell phone and glanced at the bright lights. It was barely ten but, she was right. There wasn't much we could do anymore. Besides, getting some rest seemed like a good idea; meant I didn't have to deal with reality.
"Sounds like a plan. Now, how is this going to work Lucy? You aren't going to make me sleep on the floor are you?" I crossed my arms across my chest once we were back upstairs.
"Oh, no" she bit her lip "My bed's pretty big and I don't take up a lot of room. So, I wouldn't mind sharing it with you. That is, if you don't mind."
Oh, what the fuck? She's not really serious is she?
"Well hell, I'm not an idiot. Of course I don't mind."
"Ok then" she said eying me funny "I just have to change. But, make yourself comfortable. I'll be back in a few." She walked over to her dresser and pulled out some clothes before she walked into the bathroom.
I stood there for a few moments before I kicked my shoes off and slipped off the shirt I was wearing so that I just had on the shirt underneath it.
"You should keep the jeans on." I mumbled to myself. I sat on the bed and waited for a few minutes. As I sat there, I noticed a picture on the nightstand. I picked it up gently so that I could get a better look. It was a picture of Lucy and another girl. The two of them looked to be about thirteen or so. What their age was didn't matter because I completely pulled in by the smile that was on Lucy's face. A smile that was so god damn genuine.
Unfortunately, in the few months I've known Lucy, I haven't been able to make her smile like that.
Why would you? You barely even know her. You haven't even told her why you're really here. Why would she smile like that for you idiot?
"What are you doing?" I almost dropped the picture because I was so consumed in my thoughts that I didn't see Lucy come site beside me.
"I was just looking at the picture." I shrugged "Who's the girl?" I set it back on the nightstand.
"That's my cousin Anna" she looked down at her hands, and I heard a hint of sadness in her voice "She um…she died a year ago. She was the sweetest girl…she was my best friend." Her last words coming out a whisper "She was the only one I could ever talk to about the…." her voice trailed off and she snapped her head up and looked at me.
"Talked to her about what?" I turned to face her completely. "What happened to her?"
"No, it's nothing. Just forget I said it okay?" she stood up quickly "Are you ready to go to sleep?" she took in my appearance and I took in hers.
In a pair of sweats and tattered t-shirt, her long hair was loose and all over the place. I wondered for a moment if it was down because she was upset about something or if she just slept with it down.
Either way, I was way too fixated on her than should be normal.
"Aren't you going to be…warm?" I asked her as we both settled in on her bed.
What a stupid thing to ask! It's raining and we're in the middle of November.
"No." she said quickly and perhaps for added effect, she got underneath the blankets and pulled them around her.
"Well, how are we supposed to have fun if you're buried underneath all those blankets?"
Her innocent eyes widened slightly as she sort of gaped at me.
"Lucy, I was just kidding. You really think I would try and take advantage of you? I don't work that way…" I frowned. But, it seemed to have done something to her because her eyes immediately softened.
"That means a lot Jasper." She sighed "You have no idea."
I didn't know how to respond to that so I just shook my head like a fool.
"Goodnight." She turned her back towards me. I guess that meant the conversation was over. Following her lead, I just leaned back on her bed, facing her back. I don't know how long I lay there, hearing the steady rhythm of her breath before sleep eventually over came me.
I woke up sometime later and knew instantly that I was alone in the bed. Reaching over for my phone, I saw that it was three am. I sat up slightly and saw that there were some lit candles in the bedroom now. I was about to go look for Lucy when I heard some noises coming from the bathroom. After my heart settled back in my chest, I realized that it was music coming from the bathroom. And then I saw her.
There were more candles in the bathroom so there was some light in there. I leaned back slightly and lay on my side and just watched. I knew it was probably wrong but if Lucy had hadn't wanted privacy, she should've shut the damn door. Right?
Oh, fuck I thought when my eyes finally adjusted to the mixture of darkness, candles and the occasional flash of lightening.
Standing with her back to the bedroom, she was standing there wearing just a pair of shorts. From here, they were maybe black but what the hell did that matter? The color didn't matter, especially when I noticed that she began to sway her hips to the music. It was the slightest movement and yet, I couldn't tear my eyes off of her. I took note of the song she was listening to and I couldn't help but smile. This was actually a song I knew; for once.
Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Reeds driftin' on by you know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good.
She wasn't singing to the music, but she sure as hell was feeling it. Still with her hips moving, I watched as she slowly put the rest of her clothes on. It was so strange to watch her get dressed in this manner. Is this how she always did it? Was she trying to put on some sort of show for me? Dear God if she was, I'd be willing to pay for an encore every night.
Fish in the sea you know how I feel
River running free you know how I feel
blossom in the trees you know how I feel
Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you
know
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me
And then something caught my eye. Even in the dark, I could see There, on her lower back was jagged line. From my spot on the bed, I could tell that it was a scar. A scar that she had undoubtedly got when she fell out of the tree. I still didn't believe that she had simply fallen but, that was her story and I knew better than to press for more information.
She still moved gently to the music as she brushed her hair. When she was done, she pulled it all up and away from her face. I knew she was going to come back out here so, I quickly repositioned myself back to my previous spot and pretended I was asleep.
When she emerged from the bathroom, I could hear her singing now. She climbed up onto the bed and I thought she was going to stop and just go back to sleep.
But, to my utter shock and contentment, I felt her shift a bit closer to me, until I could hear her breathing right beside me. I kept my eyes shut though. If she knew I was awake, she'd be pissed.
Just when I thought this wasn't tortuous enough, I felt her hand begin to trace little patterns on my arm. And she was doing it in the most delicious way. And then suddenly, I could feel her lips, hovering just slightly above my ear.
Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the pine you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good
The song finished and she pulled back instantly from me. I could tell because there was no longer this sensational scent surrounding me anymore. But, before I had a chance to completely process what had just happened, I felt a hand gently touch my face and I had to fight everything to just lean into that fucking warm hand of hers.
"Thanks for staying with me Jasper." She whispered gently and, so help me God, I felt her lean in closer to me and press those lips of hers against my cheek. It took every ounce of me to not just turn my head three centimeters to the right and bring her to me. Her being so close to me…it was intoxicating. It was something inexplicable and didn't know why or how she was doing this to me.
But, as intoxicating as her scent and her voice was, there was something that was bit off? Now that she was done entrancing me with her voice, I noticed that Lucy wasn't wearing much. She had one those shorts, a bra and that was about it. It confused the shit out of me. How could she go from hiding under the blankets one minute to practically seducing me in my sleep while she was half naked? Then again, Lucy always did things that surprised me. I never knew what she was going to do. It was like she was walking the fine line of being a little innocent girl one to a little temptress.
With her so close, I was able to feel her skin pressed against mine. Even though I was wearing a shirt, I could still feel the warmth of her body searing right through me.
She, much to my dismay, pulled away from me. I felt her hesitation on the bed for a few moments. A part of me knew that she should go put a shirt on. We were in the middle of November for Christ sakes. But, there was another part of me, the part that was ruled by male hormones, that wanted her to stay exactly how she was. Much to my relief, she ended up not getting up off the bed. Instead, I felt her lean her head against me slightly, our bodies barely touching. She grabbed one of the sheets and pulled it up over her but only covered up to her waist. Like that was going to do her any good but I wasn't complaining.
It was enough for me. It was enough for her apparently because soon, she was fast asleep. When I knew that was off in dream land, I allowed myself to turn on my side so I could get a better look at her. I gently ran the back of my hand down the side of her face. She let out a sigh and snuggled deeper into my arm. Girls loved that kind of shit.
Without thinking, I took that same hand and draped it over her waist so that it was lingering on her back before I lightly ran my fingertips across her scar. She moved again and I was about to pull away from her but instead of waking up, she just curled in closer to me, if that was even possible. So I just kept my hand right where it was. I couldn't pull away. There was nothing sexual at all about it. If that was the case, I would've been doing much more than just tracing her scar with my fingers. No, there was just something about that scar. Much like everything else Lucy did, I was just drawn right into it.
I wanted nothing more than to just shake her awake and practically beg her to let me kiss those lips of hers. To let me get a closer look at all of her. To let me touch, let me explore and appreciate everything about her. But, all of those thoughts had to be pushed to the back of my mind as I continued to stare at her face, the moonlight hitting it at just the right angle. I had never seen Lucy so much at peace. She actually looked…well hell, she looked happy.
And damn it, regardless of my selfish wants, I wasn't about to act on any of them. Not when she looked liked a fucking angel. So I just lay there and watched her…watched her until my eyes betrayed me and I succumbed to the sleep my body was desperate for with my hand still touching her back lightly, moving slowly up and down.
The next time I woke up, it was due to an irritating noise hitting the window. Even with my suspicions, I still opened my eyes and peered over towards it. Sure enough, it was the sound of rain hitting Lucy's window pane.
So much for sleeping in.
The candles had longed since died out but it was okay since there was a bit of light coming into the room. Enough to know that is was around eight or so in the morning and that the power was back on. After lying there for a few minutes, I felt something shift slightly against me and that's when I remembered that I wasn't at my own house. Cautiously, I cast my eyes downward and saw that, sometime during the night, our sleeping positions had changed and I was on my back…with Lucy practically latched on to me.
With my attention focused solely on her, I felt her breath against my neck as she breathed in and out. Her hair was now loose, fanned out around her with some falling against me. With her so close, I couldn't resist. I pressed my face gently in her hair, lingering there for a few moments, letting it just fucking calm me down. Why? Who the hell knows but it just did.
Her hand had grabbed a fistful of my shirt and she was holding on to it tightly, as though she didn't want me to leave her. Though she was holding on tightly, her face showed no signs of fear or tension. She looked utterly carefree as she slept. But, what surprised me the most was that she had somehow draped one of her legs on top of one of mine. In the time that I had known her, she hadn't really let me come too close to her. She'd barely let me hug her completely. And even then, she would tense up when I did it lightly. But, at this very moment, I was relishing in the contact she was allowing us to have. Even if she was fast asleep, that wasn't even an issue as far as I was concerned.
Because, at this very moment, whatever she was looking for, she was clearly getting it from me.
But, all good things must come to an end at some point. After about twenty minutes of me just watching her sleeping form molded against me, one final shift and that's when my body started to betray me. Things were no longer innocent. Who was I kidding, I wanted things to be anything but fucking innocent but, I knew that Lucy would probably freak out on me if she woke up, wrapped up around me and a guilty look on my face.
So, reluctantly, I pulled her gently away from me and got up in one swift movement, making sure her head was resting gently on the pillow. Before I moved away, I saw her take a deep breath against the pillow before a sly smile creeped onto her face and she pressed her face deeper into it. A smug smile formed across my face as I made my way over to her bathroom so splash some water on my face and looked at least somewhat presentable by the time she woke up.
Standing there in the bathroom, I just stared at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was all over the place and I didn't understand why. I hadn't moved that much while I was sleeping. As soon as I thought about it, images of Lucy possibly running her hands through my hair in the middle of the night popped into my mind. I could literally feel it and I shook my head of the thoughts.
Why in the hell would she be doing that to you in the middle of the night? You think too highly of yourself sometimes you idiot.
I turned and looked over at her collection of products to see if there was anything I could use but, all she had were a bunch of hair products for girls. And, I wasn't about to walk around smelling like god knows what. As I was looking, I noticed a bottle of perfume. Curious, I picked it up and sprayed it away from me and then leaned in and inhaled it.
It was heavenly. This was the scent that had gripped me last night. It was the perfect mixture of all kinds of berries. It was ridiculously sweet smelling. I had noticed it on her before but, after she had taken a shower and it was fresh on her, it was completely overwhelming to my senses.
Fairly pleased with my current state, I walked out of the bathroom, the smell of the perfume still lingering in my mind. I grabbed my shirt that I thrown over a chair and slipped it back on, buttoning it up half way.
"Jasper?" a groggy voice called my attention and I turned around, in the midst of buttoning the shirt and looked over at Lucy who was sitting up slightly in the bed. "Are you leaving?" she asked in what sounded like a disappointed tone.
Her hair, which had been up the last time I saw her was now loose again and was everywhere. She must have noticed me taking her in because she ran her hand thru it, trying to push some of it back a bit. And then she did that one little move that drove me crazy sometimes. She bit her lower lip, and awaited my response.
"Jesus Lucy…" I sighed deeply but not for the reason she thought. She was killing me and she didn't even know it. And then I said the first non-romantic thing that popped into my head "You're acting like we just had a one night stand and I'm about to abandon you and never come back." I blurted out.
She furrowed her eyebrows for a few seconds before she looked down and let a small gasp escape her lips at her current state. She quickly got up and walked into the bathroom and shut the door. It was such a typical girl thing to do but even knowing that, I wasn't expecting to hear her quiet sobs.
Oh. Jesus Christ. Way to go you asshole.
"Lucy." I knocked on the door.
Yea, because you weren't man enough to tell her when you were really thinking.
She didn't answer me.
"Come on Lucy. Just come out here so we can talk." I said as calm as I could. But, I was growing pretty irritated already. I didn't have the world's longest patience span. I needed to get it through that head of hers that I hadn't mean what I said.
A minute or two passed before the door slowly opened and she stepped out, this time wearing a shirt.
"I want an apology." She demanded.
"An apology? For what, it was a joke."
"A joke, you basically degraded me." She scoffed.
I just rolled my eyes "calm down Lucy…"
"Apologize." She repeated.
"Like hell I will."
She narrowed her eyes at me before a small smile formed on her lips "Please?"
"Nope." I said firmly.
"I hate you." She sighed. To that, I merely laughed.
"Sure didn't look like it this morning." I let slip.
"What? Oh god, please tell me I didn't do something incredibly stupid?" her eyes widened and she started walking back in forth in front of me.
Oh, you idiot!
"No, Lucy" I stopped her "you did everything so god damn right."
Jesus, what is happening here? What is this girl doing to me?!
"What?"
"When I woke up this morning...well, you were sort of attached to me."
"I what?!" she looked down and blushed fiercely "Oh, god I'm so stupid. I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing? Look at me Lucy." I called her and she hesitantly raised her eyes to meet mine. "Don't apologize, because I don't feel bad about it. The look on your face was completely priceless."
"What kind of look?"
How could I put this so she would understand and not take it the wrong way?
"Well, it looked like you had just had the best sex of your life and you were so fucking peaceful Lucy…so content."
"Jasper!" she covered her mouth for a few seconds "Can you please not talk like that."
"About sex?"
"Yes, now just…can we just pretend like this didn't happen?"
"Even if I wanted to, I'm pretty certain that the look on your face will be in my mind for quite a long time."
"Oh, god." She shook her head "It's not going to make things awkward is it?"
"Jesus Lucy, we didn't do anything! No lines were crossed. It was just…friendly."
But I'll be damned if I tell her that I wanted something to happen.
"Ok." She nodded slowly "Well, I guess we should head downstairs. Come on, I'll make you breakfast." She didn't give me a chance to respond, she just started walking towards the door, grabbing a hair tie on the way.
By the time I got down there, she was already pulling out things to make. She paused for a second and walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed something.
"I'll be right back." She mumbled quickly and headed down the hall and I heard the door to the bathroom close. Three minutes later, she was back.
"My medicine." She answered my unasked question quietly and I just nodded.
"Do you like pancakes?" she turned and quickly changed the subject.
"Who the fuck doesn't like pancakes?" I took a seat at the table.
"I'll take that as a yes." She nodded and then went on her way, pausing only momentarily to turn on the stereo, pressing play for whatever CD she had in there.
As soon as the song began, I had to look away from her and shut my eyes, trying desperately to get the images of Lucy dancing half naked in her bathroom this morning.
Yes, it was that song. Out of all the songs…she must really love it.
"Are you okay Jasper?" Lucy snapped me from my thoughts, a concerned look on her face.
"I'm fine. It's just that song." I shrugged.
"Oh. You don't like it? I can change it…"
"No. It's just…my ex-girlfriend, she really loved this song as she was always listening to it." I lied through my teeth. I doubt that Alice even knew what this song was. But, Lucy didn't know that. I didn't like lying to her but, I wasn't about to tell her what I was really thinking.
She looked a little perplexed but she just went right back to her cooking.
Fifteen minutes later, there was a plate being placed in front of me with a stack of chocolate chip pancakes.
"I hope you like them." She handed me a fork, set down two glasses of orange juice along with her food.
"Oh, shit." I sighed "Lucy these are fucking amazing."
She just laughed gently and sat down across from me. But, she sure as hell wasn't eating pancakes. In fact, even the glass of juice she was drinking looked disgusting.
"What the hell is that shit?" I looked over at the stuff she had in front of her.
"Oatmeal?" she looked at me.
"Why are you eating that when you have these delicious pancakes?"
"I can't have pancakes." She sighed.
"Oh, shit I forgot. Then why did you make them?"
"I highly doubt you'd want to eat sugar free oatmeal Jasper." She shrugged, twirling her spoon in the bowl before she ate some of it. "Besides, it was fun to cook for someone else for a change. Someone who doesn't worry about what he puts in his stomach."
God, that sounded disgusting. But, I knew she had a hard enough time so I kept my mouth shut.
"Well, feel free to bring me lunch any day. You're a really good cook."
She smiled slightly before going back to that dreaded oatmeal.
We spent the rest of the morning working on that art project. Well, Lucy worked and I mostly watched and just sat around.
"Did you get scared again last night?" she asked casually as she arranged things on the canvas.
"Actually, no." I sighed. Might as well be honest "And I sort of have you to thank for it."
"Why?" she tilted her head.
"Ever since I was younger, thunderstorms would scare the shit out of me. They still do. But last night, it was like you being there with me really helped. I fell asleep easily and didn't even wake up."
Not man enough to tell her the truth about that night Jasper?
"Is that how you dealt with them when you were younger too? By having someone in the room with you? Your mom maybe?" she turned back to the painting. And I was glad so she didn't see the look of anger that crossed across my face.
"Yes. Something like that." I said tensely but she didn't seem to notice.
"That's nice. And I'm glad I was able to help you get through the storm." She joked.
We sat in her room for another hour or so before I started getting really bored.
"Can we go somewhere?" I asked her "I'm tired of being in here."
"Um, alright." She set her brush down "Like where?"
"Fuck if I know Lucy. Just, get dressed and we'll go from there."
"Ok, then." She stood "I'll be ready in twenty minutes, promise."
"Fine" I shrugged as she walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind her.
I just sat down on her bed and waited. I had nothing better to do. Thankfully, she really did come out twenty minutes later. I turned to look at her and my eyes widened a bit.
She was wearing a pair of jeans and a white button up shirt with the first three buttons left undone. That brown hair of hers was pulled back out of her face. She wore no makeup, naturally.
"Too much?" she looked at me confused. "I know it's a bit different than what I wear at school."
"Who gives a fuck." I murmured but she heard me anyways "You look amazing." I stood up and walked over to her "But, I don't know if I'm liking this whole matching thing." I noted the fact that we were both wearing button up shirts.
"Oh well." I shook my head "Let's go." I grabbed my jacket and my keys and headed downstairs.
When we got into the car, the windows were all rolled up and I was suddenly surrounded by her scent.
Oh, shit she even smells delicious. Like those fucking berries.
"Ready?" I put the keys in the ignition.
"Yes." She nodded.
Question was, was I ready?
Only one way to find out.
And with that, we drove off.
Can I just say that Lucy is one complicated girl. She was having some fun there wasn't she? Don't worry, her little 'performance' will be brought up next Jasper? Well, he was just being Jasper...there's always more than meets the eyes isn't there?
Thoughts? Questions? I love them all....