Chapter 10: Close The Eyes

He was trying to think of the right way to say it. No introduction? Perhaps that would be better.

He kept delaying it. They remained in silence as Itachi used Miho's hands to massage his head. Only a few seconds passed before Miho began the massage herself, rubbing his temples in a circular fashion to assuage the growing tension. This encouraging action comforted him.

"Miho—"

The door burst open and the two of them visibly jumped. Itachi stood up and pushed Miho back instinctively as his Sharingan activated to analyze the intruder.

"Itachi-kun," said Hiroki after a few seconds of surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"I…" said Itachi, for once faltering at his lack of explanation.

Miho stepped in.

"He just came to see Sasuke," she said. "Sasuke went home, and we ended up…chatting."

Hiroki looked skeptical. "Chatting?"

"Yeah…"

Hiroki didn't look convinced, but he did not press the subject. Instead, he turned to Itachi, his cold eyes clearly indicating that Itachi was not welcome, and beckoned for him to leave.

"Itachi-kun, I would like to speak with you about a few matters," said Hiroki sternly.

"We…" interjected Miho, "we were talking. Do you mind if we get a few more minutes?"

Hiroki arched an eyebrow. "Certainly."

Miho frowned. "Privately, Otou-san."

"What would be so important between you two that I can't hear?"

"It's nothing," said Itachi quietly, once again finding his voice. "I just came by…to thank Miho for helping me that day in the hospital. That was all."

Miho turned to him indignantly, sensing that Itachi was no longer going to reveal what he had intentionally planned. Before she could voice her opinion, however, Itachi was already at the exit.

"Itachi!" she said angrily.

"He was simply thanking you," said Hiroki. "I have a few matters to discuss with Itachi-kun, but I'll be back momentarily, Miho, and we can talk about your day at the hospital then."

"No, he was going to tell me something else before you came," said Miho furiously.

"What else would he have to say?" said her father, his voice growing with warning that was directed towards Itachi.

"Nothing," said Itachi calmly. "I just came to express my gratitude. Thank you, Miho. Have a good day."

Her gray eyes flashed but she held her tongue; the silence, however, only made the glaring eyes that bore into the back of Itachi's head ever more prominent as he left.

Itachi and Hiroki walked wordlessly for about a block or so before suddenly, Hiroki grabbed Itachi by the collar and dragged him swiftly into an alleyway, slamming him against the wall none too decorously.

"What were you about to tell her?" said Hiroki in a deadly tone.

"N-nothing," said Itachi, taken back by Hiroki's forcefulness.

"Don't lie," Hiroki said, his voice lined with latent fury. "If you care even the slightest for Miho, don't you dare tell her anything that you're doing for the Uchiha. Why do you think I've been keeping her away from the clan? Why do you think I've been hiding her from your father? Are you a fool, Itachi?"

"I—"

"If you tell her anything, you will jeopardize her life! You will undo any protection I have orchestrated around her! Do not pretend, Itachi, that you have not been slipping up lately. Everyone can tell that you've changed – everyone knows that this job is proving to be too much for you—"

"It's not," said Itachi instantly. "It's not too much—"

"Is it?" demanded Hiroki. "If it's not, then why are you going to my daughter? Why are you asking for her help?"

"I wasn't," said Itachi, his voice growing stronger. "I merely went to thank her – that was all."

"Really? Truly? Because what help could Miho offer you, Itachi, that you could not accomplish on your own?"

"I—"

"It's like you haven't noticed the degree of endangerment Miho is in when she's around you, Itachi – she activated her kekkei genkai when she was with you, she accelerated it to the next level to save you, and yet you act like you don't mind the amount of danger you've always put her in! Consideration, Itachi, is what I expect out of you in matters concerning my only child!"

"I'm not endangering her," said Itachi harshly. "I don't mean to. I never did."

Hiroki's glare didn't grow less intense, but he released Itachi's collar and stepped back, allowing Itachi to finally breathe freely.

"It would do you well, Itachi, to stay away from Miho," said Hiroki coldly. "Let this serve as your warning – if I see you close to her again, I will not be so kind."

It was the third time he'd said this today.

"…I understand."

She had come so close. So damn close. Just when Itachi was finally going to tell her everything, finally he was going to reveal his cards, show some trust…that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity had just evaporated into thin air. Itachi had come to her in a time of extreme weakness, but Hiroki's interruption had given Itachi enough time to jolt back to his senses, to put all those protective barriers up around him again, and she'd lost her chance.

Miho threw her dish into the sink out of sheer frustration, shattering it to pieces.

"Miho!" said Hiroki's alarmed voice behind her.

"Slipped," she said through gritted teeth, gripping the counter in front of her tightly as she sought to find some sort of inner peace.

She swept up the glass shards and tossed them in the trashcan before she turned to her father.

"I'm going to go out for a walk," she announced.

"…It's already dark," said Hiroki dubiously.

"I'm not five years old," snapped Miho. "I just need to…clear my head."

Without another word, she swept out of the room and the house, greeted by the cool late evening air and the scents of oncoming rain. Ignoring the weather, she made her way down the stairs and on the empty street that led to the Uchiha compound. She broke into a run, gliding in the shadows of the walls and making her way to Itachi's house.

Her chakra fully suppressed, Miho leaned against the wall that held the window to Itachi's room and glanced up. The light was off, and, upon further inspection, his chakra was not there. Miho expanded her senses slightly and, with some difficulty, found his well-concealed chakra in the gated backyard. She leapt over the gates easily and hid herself behind the brambles of trees as her eyes scanned the yard. Itachi was leaning against the largest tree of the yard, facing away from her.

After checking to make sure that her chakra was completely hidden, she leapt agilely through the bushes towards him, finally arriving only a few feet behind him. Itachi made no movement to acknowledge her presence. Miho scowled and stepped towards him, her foot breaking a stray branch on the ground as she approached.

At the sound, Itachi instinctively whirled around, his Sharingan gleaming in the darkness, his fingers already folded in a seal.

"It's me," she said. "Surely you noticed?"

"…I was distracted," he said reservedly, his body visibly relaxing. "What are you doing here?"

"To find out what you were going to tell me before my father interrupted."

"It was nothing, Chiaki-san."

Miho scoffed. "Oh, it's back to 'Chiaki-san,' is it, Uchiha?" The surname was spat with loathing, causing the two gleaming crimson lights to narrow at the clear tone and its implications.

"What do you want?"

"I want you to stop acting like I'm an idiot," she said coldly. "I want you to stop treating me like some backup plan when life gets too hard, only to never confide in me and push me away in the end. I want you to actually appreciate everything I've done for you, Uchiha Itachi, because no matter what you say, I have risked too much of my life not to hear a clear explanation."

"What do you want me to say, Miho?" said Itachi, audibly aggravated. "You want me to tell you all my troubles? Why? It would just make your life harder, wouldn't it? And so selfish Miho couldn't deal with that, wouldn't want to deal with anything that makes her life all the more difficult—"

Miho reacted instantly, lunging forward and pushing Itachi as hard as she could against the tree. Surprisingly enough, Itachi didn't react.

"I have made it very clear to you," she snapped, "the things and people I am willing to risk my life for. And you, Itachi, may be a genius, but you sure as hell are dumb as a rock if you can't tell that at this point in time, you are one of those people. No matter how hard I try, no matter what you do, that mentality's already there. What I'm asking for, Itachi, is an explanation of what you regard me as, some sign that you trust me like I trust you!"

"I can't tell you anything," he said pithily. "Clan rules."

She smacked him.

In a split second, she was slammed face forward into the ground, her hands pinned behind her back as Itachi indecorously sat on her, placing a kunai dangerously close to her throat.

"Ha," she spat, getting rid of the taste of dry leaves at the same time, "still touchy."

"It was uncalled for," he snarled.

Miho laughed mirthlessly and snapped her leg upward; it barely blunted into Itachi's back before he jumped upward, releasing Miho. She was back on her feet immediately, catching Itachi's hand as he raced at her with a kunai; he was so angry that his chakra was painfully easy to sense, allowing Miho to read and anticipate for every move he was going to enact.

She wrested the kunai from him and caught the pulse at his wrist; she pressed it down harshly, causing Itachi to wince at the sudden chakra disruption. Not wasting any time, she kicked out at his stomach, her leg unkindly laced with chakra as it hit square in the middle of his torso. Itachi doubled over, winded from the impact.

"You're better than me," she said coolly, "but when you're angry, you become child's play. Still see me as an idiot?"

Itachi didn't answer, instead slowly breathing in and out as his chakra elevation declined and once again returned to its normal stages of excellent suppression. Miho's eyes narrowed, realizing that he was now at his normal degree of strength and consequently better, but before she could prepare herself, Itachi had caught her again, only this time without any malice, holding her instead in a tight embrace.

Miho took a step backward, taken back by his sudden change in demeanor. Seconds passed, one heartbeat at a time; slowly, Miho brought her hands up to return the hug, to convey some sort of acceptance, but before she could, Itachi suddenly snapped back, pushing her away as he himself stepped out of her reach.

"No," he said in one solid exhalation, almost like he was struggling for air. "No. This can't happen."

"Why?" she persisted.

"I promised," he said. "No more."

"Promised who?" cried Miho out of frustration. "Why the hell would you promise someone not to do something you want?"

"I can't," he breathed. "It'll…it'll jeopardize everything."

"Itachi, I don't know who you're working for or what you're working for, but you're under this demented illusion that you have to obliterate any chance at happiness that you have! For once, why can't you think for yourself? Why can't you think about yourself? You need to realize that there's nothing wrong with being happy, with working for what you want!"

"This is what I want," said Itachi harshly, with more conviction. "This…you can't be here. You have to go."

She stepped in front of him and grabbed his face between her hands, forcing him to look at her.

"Say that again," she said quietly, "to my face."

He struggled with the eye contact for a few seconds, his black irises flickering back and forth, from her eyes to elsewhere, as if he could not keep his gaze fixated. The hesitation was enough for her, enough to make her feel slightly better about his conviction, but it was not enough for Itachi to give up his resolution. And Miho had stepped past her boundaries by far already.

So she backed away, her gaze never leaving his face, just watching, waiting, for another sign.

But the loss of physical contact and the distance between them seemed to strengthen Itachi, for he finally met her eyes unwaveringly, confidently. She knew what he was going to say, this time with certainty, before he actually said it. She was not going to give him the chance to say to.

Without another word, she disappeared into the darkness. Her heart seemed to drop to her stomach.

Things were over. All ties were cut.

Weeks passed, sluggishly, stiflingly, slowly sliding into months. Within the time, Miho did not contact Itachi. If they bumped into each other in town, Itachi with Shisui, Miho alone, they passed each other with eyes averted. As if they had never known each other. As if nothing had ever happened.

They were young. Naïve. Itachi had not expected the relationship to get far. In fact, he had been surprised with how long that had gone at all. Two polar opposites could not have been more difficultly paired together.

Everyone had grown distant with him. Or perhaps it was the other way around, and he had grown distant with everyone else. Itachi could sense the apprehension that Fugaku approached him with, or the strange concern that Mikoto looked at him with over the dinner table. Only Sasuke seemed the same as before, always clamoring for Itachi to help him train and practice, but after constant denials, even Sasuke started approaching him less.

Itachi had initially been curious as to what his little brother was doing now with so much free time on his hands, considering that he was never in the Uchiha household before dinner. The answer to that curiosity, however, should've been obvious from the start. It seemed that Sasuke had found his replacement trainer – not as good as Itachi, but still more approachable than Fugaku – in Miho.

Itachi had found out in one of his "journal-reading sessions," as he liked to call his favorite pastime whenever he was struck by insomnia. Miho seemed to have started journaling a great deal more now, which Itachi was glad for, since it only provided him with more distractions. It let him know how she was doing, and apparently, it also allowed him to check up on Sasuke; Miho had lightly commented on Sasuke's improvement in one of her recent journal entries.

Jeez, these Uchiha. Geniuses, all of them. I don't know what their dad is thinking, pouring so much effort into that recalcitrant firstborn of his. Sasuke's a genius in his own right – perhaps not as quick as his brother, but circumstances change. This kid improves like none other; I don't have to teach a single lesson twice. He actually beat me in our last kunai-throwing test, embarrassingly enough. But really, this kid is great. And just the slightest compliment sets him off like he's won first prize in some competition. I'm jealous, actually – here I was thinking that Sasuke was someone I could empathize with, in terms of difficulty with catching up to his brother, but Sasuke doesn't have any trouble at all. Just give him a few years. He'll be up to par in no time.

Other entries, however, were much less enjoyable to read. Some pages consisted of an entire blackened page of ink, with words repetitively written over each other in a never-ending cycle of letters. It looked like these were written in her moments of anger, for words like "stupid" and "idiot" were bolded and most prominent. Humorous to some degree though they were, Itachi could not help but wince whenever he came across such a page, especially when he knew exactly who the insults were directed to.

The more interesting and profound ones were the ones that were lengthy and ponderous, showing a side to Miho that was hard to discern otherwise. Whenever Itachi saw her on accident, she looked as she always did – aloof, eyes perhaps a bit colder than normal, but nevertheless, the same antisocial girl she had been before he had gotten to know her. Had it not been for the journal entries, he would've assumed that she had gotten over him entirely, especially given the long amount of time that had passed.

This is…ridiculous. I am ridiculous. It has been weeks now. We have not talked once. Sasuke is smart enough not to mention him around me. Not to talk about him. Smart enough not to tell him that I'm helping Sasuke out with his homework and his training, like a babysitter.

His impact is not small, which is why I can't just stop thinking about him. It's apparent, every morning when I wake up and take a shower, since the wound that I assimilated from him has left a faint criss-cross scar across my chest. I hadn't considered the physical mars I'd get from this part of the Ishachi, and in consultation with Aki's journals, it seems that it'll just take a long time and constant chakra-induced skin reparation to get rid of the scars. They, frankly, look gross.

This is what I meant about appreciation. He doesn't know the things that I've done for him. I would have never, ever activated the second stage of my Ishachi had he not been dying. In fact, I wouldn't have become a doctor had it not been for him. I would've remained quietly in ANBU, remaining absolutely inglorious and on terrible terms with my father and still crushing on Kakashi and…

This is pathetic. How did it become me appreciating him all of a sudden?

I…my head hurts lately. Otou-san says it's because I've been working at the hospital too much, but it's really not too bad. He attributes it to lack of proper rest after the wound assimilation as well…though I think he might be emphasizing that just a bit too much lately. I have no idea why he is suddenly so antagonistic towards…

I should really stop reverting every train of thought back to him.

I'm just tired, I think that's it. I just hope it's nothing more.

Why does it always seem that things were easier when we were still together?

Because things were easier when they were together, thought Itachi as he closed up the journal one afternoon as he lied on his bed at home and resealed it back into a scroll. Because when they were still flirting and eating together, Itachi didn't have the weight of the entire village on his shoulders. He didn't have the orders to kill Shisui looming over his head – orders that he had obstinately avoided for the last few months. But Shisui was getting too close to the truth, too suspicious of him…it had caused many fights and harsh interactions, causing their friendship to rupture…

And to think that there were scars left over from the wound assimilation…he hadn't known, or else he wouldn't have wanted it. Appreciation…he appreciated her more than he let on.

The door downstairs opened with a bang, its sound announcing the arrival of Sasuke, for only he would cause so much noise as he entered. There were the noises of violent running up the stairs that served as a preamble to only seconds before the door to Itachi's room slammed open, and Sasuke bounded up to him, his expression ecstatic.

"I did it, Nii-san!" said Sasuke. "I did it, I did it, we got our report cards back and I'm number one in everything. Do you think Otou-san will be proud? Do you think he'll acknowledge me as his son now?"

"Calm down, Sasuke," said Itachi with a slight smile. "Let me see."

Sasuke handed over his report card proudly; one cursory glance through it, and Itachi could see that Sasuke had indeed ranked first in all subjects. Itachi ruffled his little brother's hair gently.

"Congrats," he said. "I'm sure Otou-san will be extremely proud of you."

Sasuke beamed. "Great! Keep it a secret from them – I want to tell our parents myself. Other than you and Miho…" Sasuke's expression changed suddenly. "Oh, shoot, I forgot my lunchbox at her house…"

"Sasuke, don't you think you bother Miho too much?" said Itachi, unable to conceal an involuntary wince as she became their subject of conversation.

"I don't think so," said Sasuke innocently. "She says I bother her a lot and that she should get paid to be my babysitter, but I don't think she really means it. She seems really lonely sometimes."

"…Does she," said Itachi, his tone conveying no intention of continuing the conversation. Sasuke, however, was entirely oblivious to the warning.

"Mm," said the younger Uchiha. "I dunno, sometimes that masked jounin comes by to say hi and such, and her dad's home sometimes, but other than that, Miho's always alone. So I don't think she minds me too much." Sasuke stood up and headed for the exit. "I have to go back and see if she has my lunchbox, or else Okaa-san won't be too happy if she has to find me a replacement…"

"I'll walk with you in that direction," said Itachi, slipping into his shoes as he stood up as well. "I'm going to go buy some food and maybe train a bit…"

"Can I come too?" said Sasuke excitedly.

"Sasuke…"

"You always see me as a pest, Nii-san," said Sasuke, annoyed. "I'll be quiet – I just want to watch."

They walked down the stairs together and were at the front door. Itachi was mid-sentence in replying Sasuke's plea with a grudging "Fine," when Sasuke slid open the door, only to reveal a startled Miho at the front step, a bright blue lunchbox extended in front of her as if she were going to hang it on the door handle.

"Miho!" greeted Sasuke. "Hi!"

"You need to stop leaving your stuff at my house, Sasuke," she said. "Pretty soon, you're just going to end up living there."

"That's not true – I was just on my way back to pick it up."

Itachi found Miho's eyes unwillingly and awkwardness settled; Sasuke looked quickly between them, seeming to pick up on the cooler temperature that had invaded the atmosphere, and attempted to make up for it.

"Miho, Nii-san is going to go train," he said. "I'm going to go watch him – do you want to—"

"No," deadpanned Miho. "I merely meant to drop off your lunchbox – any interaction with the older Uchiha was involuntary and unwanted."

"Likewise, I was only heading out," said Itachi smoothly. "Any meeting between us was, of course, chance."

"I wouldn't say it like that, Uchiha," said Miho icily, "considering your stalkerish habits and your uncanny ability to 'accidentally bump' into me at the market—"

"Quite the contrary, Chiaki-san, I only happened to be getting food at the same time you did."

Miho's eyes narrowed but she made no movement to continue the argument. Itachi only blinked before she was gone from view – only in retrospect did he realize that her chakra had gotten to the point where he could only sense her if he knew what to look for.

"She's gotten really good, I think," said Sasuke after a slight pause.

"Has she," said Itachi, guiding Sasuke in the direction of the training grounds.

"Yeah, a lot faster," he replied. "I wonder if she's training too."

"I doubt it," said Itachi calmly. "I would assume it's just the effects of her kekkei genkai – her chakra flows much easier now, and she can utilize the barest minimum of it to accelerate or strengthen her limbs according to choice."

"Pretty cool," said Sasuke.

"Mm."

"Nii-san, you know it's her birthday the day after tomorrow, right?"

"…Is it?" said Itachi, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah. I saw it on her calendar."

"She didn't mention it to you?"

"Nope. But I don't think that means she forgot either."

Itachi paused before speaking again. "Are you going to get her anything?"

"I already did," grinned Sasuke. "Way ahead of you, Nii-san."

"Oh really? What did you get her?"

"A sack of potatoes," he laughed. "And a nice card with some chocolate. I thought the potatoes part was really funny."

"She might get angry."

"I don't think so," mused Sasuke. "Miho has a surprisingly good sense of humor, even though she doesn't show it too much. Besides," he added with a shrug, "it's funny. Are you going to get her anything?"

Itachi thought about it for a little bit, but the promise he had made to Hiroki surfaced to the forefront of his mind. And he had better things to take care of than birthday presents.

"No, I don't think I will."

If there were a way to forget, she would've done it. Some surgery, some medication…anything. She would've taken it all.

Miho got to her room in mere seconds and collapsed on her bed, her head pounding more than it had before as she struggled with the childish desire to scream into her pillow and cry. She needed closure, but didn't know if the last encounter had been enough. Was that it? Was that all?

There was a knock on her door; the chakra indicated that it was her father. The door creaked open without her assent, and Hiroki entered the room.

"Miho?" said Hiroki quietly, drawing near and sitting in a chair by the bed.

"Hello," she said, her voice muffled by her pillow.

"Are you feeling all right?"

"…My head hurts."

"Still?" he said, his voice dictating concern. "Should you go get a doctor to see it?"

"It's nothing. It's just a migraine – I'll eat some medicine later."

"Ah, all right. Make sure it doesn't escalate into something worse." He paused. "Miho, your birthday is the day after tomorrow, isn't it?'

"Mm."

Hiroki sighed. "Miho, I'm sorry…there's an Uchiha meeting that night, so I'm afraid we can't have a birthday dinner…"

Her heart twisted a bit, but she ignored it. "It's fine."

"I'll take you out to lunch, and then how about Kakashi and the others take you out for dinner? I can give them a heads-up."

"It's fine," repeated Miho, sitting up in bed. "Kakashi might drop off a present, but I think he'll be on a mission."

"Ah," said Hiroki, looking regretful. "Well, then…"

"It's not a big deal," said Miho wryly. "Birthdays happen every year, Otou-san. We always have next year."

"Mm, that's true," said Hiroki. "Already fifteen, eh? You grow so quickly…"

"…Otou-san, sorry, but can you cook tonight?" said Miho. "My head's really killing me…"

"Perhaps we really should get it checked out – it does not seem merely a common headache."

"I'm fine, I'll just need some sleep," said Miho. "I'm skipping dinner tonight, but there might be leftovers in the fridge to heat up—"

"We should eat together. I can wait until you're hungrier."

"…All right then," replied Miho, sensing that Hiroki wanted to eat dinner with her as a payment for missing her birthday. "I'll just take a short nap and eat after."

"Mm. Sleep well – if you don't feel better afterward, we'll have to see a doctor about it."

"Fine."

Hiroki left the room, shutting the door tightly behind him. Miho flipped over in her bed, but instead of diving under the covers, stretched out to her desk and grabbed a sheaf of paper and a pen. With a quiet sigh and her head throbbing more than ever, she began to write.

"What is your status regarding Uchiha Shisui?" demanded Danzou.

"He's…still keeping tabs on me," replied Itachi. "It is getting more difficult to arrange meetings with the Hokage without making it seem too abnormal."

"Has he been reporting to the upper echelon of the Uchiha?" asked the Hokage.

"Not that I know of," said Itachi.

"Yet," scoffed the councilman. "We've let Shisui stay alive for much too long – he will be reporting to the higher-ups any day now."

The Hokage looked uncomfortable with where the conversation was going, but made no effort to stop it.

"You must kill Shisui soon," said Danzou. "Before any of the other Uchiha notice the abnormalities."

So it was to come to an end. He had been trying to postpone this order for so long.

"I understand."

The crow appeared at Itachi's windowsill in the middle of the night, its beak clacking infuriatingly along the pane of glass as Itachi quickly rolled out of bed to meet it.

"…I didn't Summon you," he whispered as he recognized the female crow he always Summoned.

"I know," she replied musically. "It was the girl this time—strange, she usually doesn't Summon me but my brother—but she had something she wanted to give you. Perhaps that's why. Well…" The crow dropped a rolled up sheet of paper in Itachi's hands. "That's it, I suppose."

"Thank you," said Itachi. "Goodnight."

The crow disappeared with a soft puff of smoke, leaving Itachi alone in his room with a stream of moonlight illuminating the parcel in his hand. With a quiet exhalation, he unraveled it and began to read, unsure of what to expect.

You should understand how much pride I am shelving to write to you.

The day after tomorrow – well, that'd be tomorrow given the hour I'm sending this to you – I will be waiting on the bridge near the café. You know which café. If you don't, you're dumber than I thought and I am consequently wasting any time I have on you.

I know there is a clan meeting. And I am telling you, for once in your life, to think about something other than your clan or whatever drives you to close up so quickly. You think I am being selfish. I am just being practical.

Skip the meeting, come meet me at the bridge. I want to talk. If you don't come, I'll take this as the final bit of closure I need for all this to end. I will move on, and forget everything that ever happened with you. I will pass you by and not blink twice. I am young, you are young, and we have the capabilities to forget everything that has happened. I just need to know if I really want to.

Itachi flipped the paper over but there was no continuation to the message. No signature, no address. It was obvious who it was from – even if he wasn't so familiar with that handwriting of hers, the use of the crows was unmistakable.

A funny twist in things, that the crows were the one things in personality that they shared. Everything else, every other aspect, they were just too different.

Logic dictated that he not go. That Miho was a part of his life that had died away a month ago. That if he were to get too close against, who knew what his orders were going to be next…to lie, betray, kill her…it was much too dangerous.

But…he could not helping thinking about those words. She would move on, forget. But did he want her to forget? Did he want to roam in the streets of Konoha, seeing her arm in arm with a faceless other?

In all honesty, why did that matter? What if he were no longer around Konoha? Did Miho's future matter to him that much, despite all lost chances of overlapping? Was a mere lost love more crucial than the imperative mission that lied in his hands?

Itachi crumpled up the paper and tossed it on the table. With another sigh, he collapsed onto his bed, his arms laying over his eyes.

The moment he had seen that crow, seen that Miho had contacted him, those lost sensations of peace and minimal happiness had come creeping back. Even after all this, after pushing her away so much, she still wondered. Still knew something was wrong, still tried to remedy things. And for the first time in so long, he began to wonder if there was still someone who would accept him despite everything he was doing to hurt his family, his clan, began to wonder if his life still had some sort of meaning when he was thought of. Would Miho still accept? Or would she run?

There was no need to debate with himself though. He had already made up his mind to go to the bridge.

"You should know what kind of day tomorrow is!" said Fugaku angrily. "Do you understand what your position is? How can you say that you won't go?"

"…I have a mission to do tomorrow," said Itachi quietly.

Mikoto looked distressed. "What mission, Itachi?"

"…It's a secret mission," he replied vaguely. "I can't say."

Fugaku seemed to be suppressing his anger with some difficulty.

"Itachi, you are the pipeline that connects the clan to the village. You must be a useful connection."

Good. Fugaku interpreted as a mission for the Hokage.

"Impress them well," continued Fugaku severely, "and report back."

Itachi did not answer, having picked up on Sasuke's miniscule chakra that lay outside the living room.

"Sasuke," called Itachi, "go to the bathroom and quickly go back to bed."

The door slid open guiltily as Sasuke's eyes peered out from the darkness.

"Okay…" he said reluctantly.

"Tsk, what are you doing this late?" scolded Fugaku. "Go to sleep!"

Itachi could feel Sasuke's chakra shift just a bit, and knew that his little brother was hurt. He sighed and stood up, walking to the door.

"Hurry up," said Itachi without malice. "I'll tuck you back in bed."

"…I didn't need to use the restroom," whispered Sasuke, looking somewhat frightened. "I just heard Otou-san's voice and…"

"It's fine," said Itachi. "Let's go back upstairs."

The two brothers ascended the stairs to Sasuke's room, the closer one to the stairs. Sasuke climbed back into his futon, looking upset.

"Otou-san always talks about you," said Sasuke resentfully. "Even when I showed him my report card…he didn't care. All he did was say that I had to be like you."

Itachi smiled gently. "Do you find me…unpleasant, Sasuke?"

Sasuke seemed shocked with the accusation, but after a few seconds of silence, his eyes lost their innocent surprise and instead shifted away in guilt.

Itachi chuckled. "It's okay. Shinobi live to be hated…it's normal. It's not too bad. But regardless…we're still brothers, you and I. In order to overcome our barriers, you and I have to continue living with each other. Even if it leads to you hating me…that's what being an elder brother is for."

"Nii-san…"

"Go to sleep, Sasuke. Don't worry about anything. Just rest for your day at the Academy tomorrow."

Itachi stood up and left, sliding the door shut quietly behind him. So he had long surmised that Sasuke's admiration would only last so long, soon to be supplanted by dislike and almost hatred. And hatred it would become, if Itachi were to actually enact what he was sure the Hokage would order him soon or later – the massacre of his entire clan.

An inevitable doomsday was slowly drawing closer like the undeniable shrouding darkness that enveloped all of Konoha as the night wore on. And yet, despite all the inescapability of his situation and everything it entailed, Itachi found that, upon close inspection, he still did not know what to expect.

The next day arrived, and Itachi remained out of the sight of his clan for the most part. He was hiding away in the forest, his chakra shielded and his Sharingan activated, as he simply whittled away his time, waiting for evening to draw near so he could meet Miho at the appointed time on the bridge. He had considered finding her at first, just so he could talk to her and still perhaps make the meeting, but he knew that she would immediately reject this alternative because it would defy her entire purpose of reconnection. And so somewhat impatiently, he waited.

Itachi hated staying alone. He could not stand the solitude, the creeping conscience of his that came prowling when he was surrounded by no object of focus, a nagging voice in his head that endlessly questioned everything that he had tried to resolve.

He was taking a short nap as his mind incessantly mulled over things that he precisely did not want to mull over when something cracked behind him. His eyes flew open, Sharingan swirling in all their crimson menace as he immediately stood up and guarded himself.

There was an orange-masked man standing in front of him, his chakra unfamiliar and expertly concealed. His attire was not native to Konoha, consisting of black robes decorated with red clouds.

There was a silence before either of them spoke.

"…To think that I would find one of my brethren here," said the stranger finally. "And one with his chakra impeccably undetectable, at that…"

"Who are you?" demanded Itachi.

"…You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Itachi moved first, his fist connecting with the stomach of the outsider easily, only to realize at the instant of contact that the man had evaporated into thin air.

Somewhat taken back and with growing wariness, Itachi spun around, Sharingan wildly searching for some sort of disturbance.

"No need to look far," said a voice to his right. "I'm here."

Itachi glanced in its direction; sure enough, the masked figure was leaning easily against the trunk of a thin tree, his arms crossed.

"Who are you?" said Itachi coolly.

"…Uchiha Madara," was the reply.

Itachi stared in disbelief, caught off guard by the entirely unexpected answer; he found himself unsure how to retaliate.

"Uchiha Madara is dead," he said reservedly. "Every Uchiha knows that – don't take me for a fool."

"You'd be a fool not to believe," said Madara. "Legend says that I am dead so Konoha could continue to live in peace – that the First Hokage killed me. I've returned…to prove that I am the victor, and to destroy every bit of peace that Konoha has enjoyed for so long."

"And you think I'll just stand by?" said Itachi dryly.

Madara chuckled. "I've heard of you—your reputation is incredible. Uchiha Itachi, isn't it? Perhaps all your arrogance has given you a false sense of security—do you genuinely believe that you could kill me, founder of your clan?"

"…What do you aim to do?" said Itachi, ignoring the jibe.

"Oh, perhaps a little of this and a little of that. As long as Konoha's destroyed, I care not for the means. I was very close a few years ago—perhaps you remember the Kyuubi attack?"

Itachi's eyes widened in realization.

"You?" he said, stunned. "The leaders of Konoha suspected that it was controlled by Sharingan—do you know what the repercussions your actions have had on your clan?"

"Oh, I couldn't care less," said Madara with a shrug. "I resent my clan almost more than I resent Konoha, for betraying me and siding with that foolish Hokage…but if I could destroy one, I might as well destroy the one with the greater consequences."

"Don't do it," said Itachi harshly.

"And what could you do about it? You are but a child."

Itachi's mind whirred – everything about Madara's story made a twisted amount of sense. This man's technique was on a level that Itachi had never encountered, and the blatant confession of the Kyuubi attack – an issue that Itachi had long wondered about – was too radical for a mere poser to profess. To control the Kyuubi required an incredible amount of Sharingan ability; based on Itachi's readings, they would require Mangekyou, and perhaps the transplant as well in order to prevent blindness. In the history of the Uchiha, Itachi could not think of anyone else who could have possibly manipulated the Kyuubi.

So it was true.

Madara was back – back to endanger everything that Itachi was working so hard to protect. And yet…he saw loopholes around Madara's plans, a way to turn them so that they would correlate with Itachi's own, and Konoha would be saved.

"I have a proposition," said Itachi slowly.

Again, Madara chuckled. "And what would anything you have to say be of interest to me?"

"I wish to annihilate the Uchiha clan."

There was a silence after his words – clearly, they carried much weight.

"And why would you?" finally asked Madara.

"The clan has grown weak over the years," said Itachi coldly. "They clamor for power and yet produce no results for it – I am sick of being their lighthouse, their hope for the future…I cannot grow stronger with their traditional values chaining me down…I wish to test my mettle."

Again, a pause as Madara pondered his words.

"Big words for someone so young," he said. "You interest me…and yet, how much do you mean what you say?"

"You can judge for yourself," responded Itachi, expressionless. "My proposition is this: we annihilate the Uchiha clan together so you may exact your revenge, but leave the village alone."

"…Tempting," said Madara. "Unfortunately, I find it hard to believe you…I require proof that you are capable of killing your family. Prove to me that your bite is as good as your bark."

"What proof is necessary?"

"…Acquire the Mangekyou Sharingan," said Madara nearly gleefully. "The condition to acquire such a power, I'm sure you already know, is to kill your best friend…you know my implications, then?"

Itachi did not answer, but merely inclined his head.

"I see," said Madara. "Well then, I will remain in hiding for the time being…seek me out again when you have the same eyes as I…only then will we have something substantial to discuss."

Madara disappeared from his spot before Itachi had the opportunity to inquire anything further. Again, he was left alone, surrounded by nothing but the lilting branches and the gentle stir of wind and leaves.

The wheel was beginning to accelerate.

It was when Itachi reentered the village that everything began to go wrong.

The sky had just fallen dark; massive thunderstorm clouds began gathering into the atmosphere, hovering over Konoha like some ominous premonition.

He thought he had snuck in successfully, undetected, and was nearly at the bridge as the moon began to gleam just a little bit brighter when a figure materialized right in front of him without a notice.

The chakra was unmistakable, as was the speed alone.

"Shisui," said Itachi, surprised.

"Where have you been all day?" said Shisui quietly, his tone indicating no little threat.

Itachi chose his words carefully. "…On a mission."

"And where would you be going now?"

Itachi did not answer.

Shisui suddenly grabbed Itachi by the collar and shoved him against the wall; Shisui's chakra soared with rage as his voice reached a shout.

"Where have you been? Don't say you've been on a mission – I checked the records and there was no mission for you today! Don't take me for a fool—you don't think I've noticed everything you've been doing, all the sneaking around that's been occurring? Tell me the truth, Itachi, are you planning on betraying your family?"

"You're insane," said Itachi, winded by Shisui's abrupt change in demeanor. "Calm down – you're not thinking logically—"

"I'm not thinking logically? I'm thinking the best for my family! For the people who've raised me, my own flesh and blood! And what are you doing? Sneaking off to the Hokage—are you telling them everything? Are you betraying us? Do you not care anything for the friends and family members you have?"

Itachi could not hold it in any longer—he let his fist fly at Shisui's accusation, the anger that he was so unfamiliar with surging through his veins as he felt his fist connect with Shisui's cheek.

His cousin reeled, taking a few steps back as he brought a hand up to his face; blood trickled down Shisui's lips as his eyes became pools of rapidly swirling crimson. Itachi activated his own Sharingan, no longer holding in his chakra as it began to course swiftly through his body.

"I don't care for my family?" said Itachi softly, his anger nonetheless apparent despite his quietness. "You think I don't care? Let me ask you, Shisui, what merit you see to be gained if we destroy Konoha, if we stage this coup that they want – the Uchiha is just a failing clan, Shisui, a clan that is so consumed by self-vengeance that we are all embarking on a road to destruction. Do you know how many women and children will die if we overthrow Konoha? How many families will be destroyed? It's only peaceful for a few measly years, Shisui, and you support the Uchiha decision to destroy all of that?"

"We are merely claiming what rightfully belongs to us," answered Shisui in a steely tone. "You, as the heir of the Uchiha, should know that. You should be supporting your family, no matter what, and if your pathetic affinity to this even more pitiable village is going to cause you to betray us…"

Shisui didn't finish his sentence; Itachi reacted instinctively as Shisui lashed out with a kunai aimed for his throat. Itachi caught Shisui's wrist, struggling to keep the kunai away, then finally twisting Shisui's arm completely as he leapt aside to avoid further interaction.

"No hesitation, Shisui?" remarked Itachi coolly. "You feel nothing as you cut me down?"

"I have no need to feel hesitation to cut down a traitor who feels nothing as he betrays his family," spat Shisui.

There was no more time for words. Their kunai and shuriken clanged together, resonating into the air with a sharp steel sound that could only mean death upon contact. Though he could not help the fury that incited him upon hearing Shisui's oblivious insults, Itachi could feel the cold sensation of dread claim him from the inside; with every exchanged blow came the pumps of adrenaline that would only bring him closer to killing his cousin, his best friend, the child he had grown up and who had saved him so many times…

Twice Itachi saw openings.

Twice he didn't strike for them.

He knew Shisui saw it too, saw that Itachi didn't want to kill him, for Shisui stopped momentarily right out of his striking distance.

"In case you haven't noticed," said Shisui, his familiar sarcastic drawl entering his tone, "I'm trying to kill you."

"I have noticed," replied Itachi calmly.

There was a slight pause, and Shisui's expression grew less hard for a moment.

"Why, Itachi?" he asked, a desperation for explanation apparent in his voice. "Why? Your family, the clan…our pride…"

"…I care nothing…" said Itachi gently, "for fame, for glory…for clan pride…I…"

He could not speak as his mind trailed to find the words necessary to iterate why he would betray his family, what he would go to such lengths for to protect…

He had a brief mental image, of some sunshine place, of some moment decades into the future; he could see himself old, wrinkly, laughing, hand-in-hand with someone, and his mind switched to thinking of Miho, who was waiting on the bridge, for an answer, for some closure…and he knew that it was over, that after what he would do tonight, there was no way she could ever accept, no way she could ever look at him…and he knew that the scene he so desperately wished for, of him, living a peaceful, quiet life, old and wrinkly he was, happy he was too…that scene would never happen for him. He was the sacrifice, the one who would provide that peaceful future to so many others…he felt jealousy sear him instantaneously, disappearing just as quickly when it was supplanted by a strange kind of calm, an omniscient mindset of serenity…

Itachi looked at Shisui, his eyes trailing over every feature on Shisui's face, memorizing the face of the first victim of his own beliefs, of their clan's folly…

"You what, Itachi?" said Shisui.

Shisui's guard was completely down. He was waiting for an answer.

And so Itachi moved forward effortlessly, catching Shisui off guard, a pathetic and inglorious thing to do, sinking his kunai deep into Shisui's chest, feeling the blood pool over his hands and, though repulsed, letting it run over his fingers, commemorating that guilt into his palms.

He heard Shisui cough slightly and wrenched the kunai further in, eliciting a dying gasp from his cousin.

"…Why?"

"…For peace," replied Itachi quietly. "For…for what is right."

Shisui drew in another shuddering breath before Itachi felt his body go limp in his arms, his corpse falling like a dead weight in his hands. Itachi knelt gently down into the grass, his hands cradling Shisui's shoulders as he stared at Shisui's face, his slightly agape mouth and his still-crimson eyes. And Itachi realized that he could never have hated the color red so much as he continued to look into those Sharingan, that he could have never hated his bloodline more as he felt the power flow unconsciously into his body, his eyes, that cursed, demented method to achieve a greater power…

But Itachi could do nothing but stare at his cousin's face, feel the warmth escape from his corpse, accelerated by the slowly falling rain that only claimed the warmth that Itachi was trying to save…to remember…as he continued to gaze down at Shisui's face, watching, never moving.

The rain seemed to be highlighted by the crimson color, but even that, the last signs of life in Shisui's face, died away slowly, melting into its natural black shade, glassy, not looking, unseeing, reflecting nothing but Itachi's own face, tortured, twisted, truly and completely lost.

Free Talk:

Hello! I hope I didn't leave people waiting too long. :) It was a bit difficult to write this chapter - considering how little I know about Shisui - and therefore character development was a bit more difficult than normal.

I think we can all tell that the pre-massacre arc will be ending very soon. The length of the chapters usually turn out a lot longer than I anticipate, but I'm hoping for a maximum of two chapters before the post-massacre arc begins. It makes me a bit sad, actually, because I will no longer have the degree of freedom I have when I fill in all the blanks of Itachi's past by myself. Following the story line is nice because it can help with plot, but many of the times, it's more of a hindrance than an aid.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It's a lot more Itachi-focused than Miho, but hopefully that'll change in the next chapter. I don't know, sometimes it's just easier to write from Itachi's point of view...but we shall see. :)

Livejournal article up later~

I'll try to update soon! In the meantime, please leave a review. That would be very kind of you, and as always, is an incentive for me to keep writing.

Thanks for reading, and see you next time~

xoxo,

m.n