Alright, haven't done a stupid declaimer in a while. So here goes: I, thankfully, do not own this horrid story, nor do I wish to own it in any way. Happy Birthday to all. And to all a good night. Wrong story, weirdo. Takes one to know one.
Chapter 10.
AN: stup it u gay fags (Haha! Yeah, stop it. Is she talking to happy cigarettes?) if u donot lik (Mm, donuts.) ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert (Is she trying to say a fart?) al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok! (I'm pretty sure this is not ok. I think she has a vampire/snake fetish.)
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I was really scared about Vlodemort (Is this a Walmart version of Voldemort or just his cousin? His Russian cousin who goes by Vlad.) all day. I was even upset (as I) went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666 (Of course she's in a band. Watch, I bet she is the lead singer). I am the lead singer (Called it! At least she doesn't write the songs) of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR (Cross means between two items you moron! Wait, what happened to the pentagram? Satan will be very angry.). The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now (That's a retarded name. Hey, retarded is a mean word. You offend them. Yes, because what we've said so far is not offensive in the least.). He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hargrid (The terrible half giant!). Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming (When are they not depressed? I feel this is a poor excuse for goths.) and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (Oh, well if that's all he's doing I'll just ignore him. He's not putting out right now.) (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that [Technically you just wrote that and let's look back earlier in the story to see a plethora of crosses. Earlier in this chapter as well.]) or a steak [Well done. A side of ribs and a diet coke, please.]) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride (Um, this movie is hilarious and not depressing in the least. Also, she spelled depressing right. Let's all take a moment to applaud for Tara). I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs (So, whore. That's what I'm reading. Was this "shirt" actually three strips of leather?)and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt (So, yeah, whore.). You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not (Don't deny and lie.).
We were singing a cover of 'Helena' (Taking other people's work does not constitute a band. It is being stupid. I was trying to type up my lyrics, but slammed my face against the keyboard and Helena popped up. So we just sang that instead.)and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears. (All I can see is that scene from X-men when Senator Kelly busts into a puddle of water. I'm not mopping that up.)
"Ebony! Are you OK (Ah, caps lock attack!)?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice. (Cause that's my tone when my friends 'bust' into tears. She forced herself to ask, but truly didn't care.)
"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily (Chill pill you horrid friend! She was just asking a simple question. Wait, what was she crying about?). And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears. (Well, there's my reason. You had to ask. Now we have an entire paragraph worth of Fs.)
Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall. (Boo! Casper the friendly ghost! Who then slits his wrists, that don't actually bleed. And they can't kill him.)"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?) (YES! This is extremely out of character! For the real Draco, but not for this love sick puppy.)
I started to cry and cry (Yes, you already told us this. Starting? I'm confused. Busting does not include starting to cry?). Draco started to cry too all sensitive (Do you know any other type of crying? There are the tears of rage that come before a beating. I know that. You frighten me.). Then he ran out crying. (How many times can you say crying in a single paragraph?Shall we try? Don't make me cry.)
We practiced for one more hour (Practice what? Dying? I think crying, she had to start over. Her hands were slick with washed off eyeliner.). Then suddenly Dumbeldore (Weight lifting!) walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery ("I'm just a hunka, hunka burning love!" I approve.) and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache (Oh good, he's somewhat sane. I hope. Don't kid yourself).
"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely (Only Dumbledore could cry wisely. A single wise tear on his wrinkly cheek.). (c dats basically nut swering (Um, no swear words were present at all. Idiot. Unless you thought done was a bad word.)and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Ebony Draco (Who is this character? A comma would be good here. Comma? He's already dead! Um, I have no comment except to say I have no comment.) has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists (Didn't she just say this could not happen?! Plus, he bled out really quickly. It would have taken more than an hour to work up the nerve to kill yourself. Not to mention the amount of time it takes to get to the room. He can jump out of walls and he was dating Ebony. Suddenly everything makes sense. Good, then explain it to me)."
It's the end of the chapter as we know it! Hey, you need a disclaimer for those lyrics! I don't know if you wrote that song or not now! You'll never get one! NEVER! Urgh, whatever. Now that finals are done we are definitely going to be posting more chapters! Huzzah!