AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter, you all keep me going! It was interesting to see people's reactions to newest addition to this story. From this point on, Jacob will be a pretty vital character in this story. Hope everyone will stick with me know that they know that!

Thanks to my room mate, she helped me with the lyrics. Thanks hun!

As always, all I own is Liz & my plot line.


Chapter 10: How I Feel

Oh, I'm getting tired of believing
Even sicker of pretending
That it's not so bad, just wait it out
Oh, I think you're feeding me lies again
The only good man left wasn't him
And that's how I feel right now so just let me be
Let me be

Jasper

You can tell a lot about a person by the mere expressions on their face.

And by the way Liz was obviously avoiding looking at us it was safe to say that she was fucking scared out of her mind. It was evident that she had no idea what the hell she was doing. She had no experience with dating nor with the way the minds of guys our age worked.

Granted I didn't know this Jacob Black, but it wasn't hard to figure him out. He was the popular type, the type that loved messing with innocent girls like Liz. When she told us that he agreed, I knew she was fucked. A guy like him was only after one thing, not matter what he told her.

I wanted her to tell me every single damn detail of what happened outside, but another part of me refused to listen to any of it. My mind wanted to shutdown and not think of anything that involved those two together.

Being as I wasn't taking the initiative to say or ask anything, Edward decided to.

Leaning forward, he placed his hand on Liz's. "What did you tell him?"

She merely shrugged. "It didn't even matter, he had already agreed before I came to talk to him."

That caught my attention.

She paused a moment before continuing, her eyes cast down the entire time she spoke. "Apparently father called his last night and when Jacob's father asked him if it was true he said it was."

That made no sense what so ever. Why would this guy, who barely even knew Liz, agree to something like that? It only proved the point that he was after something. Something that I'm quite sure that involved sex.

Well, if that asshole thought he was getting anything from Liz, he was dead wrong.

"Why would he do that?"

"I don't know, he wouldn't really tell me much."

"Liz, I don't have a good feeling about this." I glanced over at my brother, his eyes clouded with fear for our sister. "Maybe…maybe you should rethink it."

"And what, have father hurt the two of you over something I started? There's no way…there's no way I'm doing it." The bell sounded just as she finished. With a squeeze of her hand, we all stood up at almost the exact same time. Edward went one way while Liz and I walked towards Biology.

She knew I wasn't happy about this. I didn't even have to say anything, she could see it written all over my face. For I think the first time, I honestly wished that she couldn't tell what I was thinking by simply looking me in the eyes.

When we walked in there was boxes of slides on each of the tables, meaning that we had a lab today. Which meant that I would hopefully be distracted for the next fifty minutes.

At least, I hoped so.

Liz seemed to still be out it from lunch and I had not the slightest clue as to what to tell her. What could I tell her anyways? This had been her idea yes, but it was my fucking fault. Oh she didn't blame me for what happened, but I'm the one who couldn't keep the control.

It's virtually impossible to form a coherent sentence when I'm with Liz, let alone think clearly when she's completely naked and practically inviting me to kiss her.

Fuck that, I lose all my logical reasoning when I'm with her.

Lost in thoughts, I barely heard and saw Liz getting up and walking towards the front of the class where the microscopes were. What I did see however was Liz struggling to reach one of them when someone much taller helped her out. Bringing it down, he handed it to her and smiled. She hesitantly smiled back at him before coming back to the table. The guy turned around as well and I fought back my smirk.

I should've known.

I remained silent as Liz and I worked on our assignment which consisted of naming various types of slides. She did most of the work, her hair falling over her face when she looked at each slide. I thought back to the way her hair felt in my fingers as she worked me, doing things I never would've pictured or imagined her doing. Things she had only done for me and only me.

Her lips pursed when she wasn't sure of what she saw, making me think about just how sweet she had tasted. I'd never get tired of those full lips. They were such a fucking drug to me and if there wasn't a room full of people around us, I'd kiss her senseless right now because no matter how pissed off I was, it wasn't at her. I don't think I could ever find it in me to be angry with her.

Just like she would do anything to protect Edward and I. No matter what we told her, nothing was going to change her mind. Liz was rather stubborn when she wanted to be. She was relentless and would make sure that if she could, she would make sure father didn't lay his hands on us as often.

When she quietly asked me to help her and her neck would twist a certain way, I was able to make out the small mark on the side of her throat. I hadn't even realized that I had done it. So caught up in the moment that I all I saw and felt was her.

However, something also fired up in me each time I saw it. Something that wasn't pleasant at all. For each time I looked at her, I just knew that Jacob was watching her as well. Watching her with a smug smile no doubt. Who did this fucker think he was?

It was then that I pinpointed the emotion running through my system.

Jealously.

If Liz and this boy were to be 'dating,' then who's to say he wouldn't try anything? Wouldn't try and do something that would mark her as his?

She wasn't his though.

She couldn't, not when I had this desperate desire for her to be mine.

Fuck, this was a bad idea. I don't care what father did, but nothing could be any worse than having to watch this fake relationship unfold between them.

My brief understanding of why she was doing this disappeared the second I confirmed that Jacob was in fact staring over at Liz. I wanted to walk right up to him and demand to know what the hell his problem was. Why he was doing this when he knew nothing about Liz. As far as I knew, the only interaction those two ever had was that day here in the class room where he tried to get her to go out with him.

Shit. That's when it hit me. God, Jacob wasn't so stupid after all. He had very publicly been rejected by Liz in front of the entire class and I'm sure that didn't sit well with him. So when the opportune moment arose, in effect giving him a second chance, he fucking took it without hesitation. He probably didn't even care as to why Liz had said they were dating, he was too eager to get with her to pay attention to the small details.

"Jasper?" My train of thought was broken and I turned my attention back to Liz. She was looking at me with a confused look. "Can…can you help me?"

I wondered how long I had been ignoring her. I nodded and she showed me the slides she had trouble identifying. We worked like that for the last ten minutes of the period before it was time to clean everything up. Since she got it, I took the microscope back and returned the box of slides. In those few minutes, for those few seconds that Liz was by herself, Jacob was at her side.

I caught the end of their conversation. "I'll call you later babe." He smiled, tucking a piece of paper in his pocket. He sent me a look as he walked back to his table.

"Did you just give him your phone number?" I asked my sister as the bell rang as we headed out to gather our things.

"Um, yes? Isn't that what you do when you're going to date someone?" She seemed confused all over again. Jesus Christ, she really had no clue what she was getting herself into.

"Technically, but you aren't really going to be dating him remember?"

"Yes, I know." We reached our lockers, swapping books. "But how will he be able to get in contact with me?"

"He'll see you at school. That should be enough. You really think father will let your so called boyfriend call the house whenever the hell he feels like it?" I slammed the locker shut, Liz jumping at the sound. Feeling like a complete asshole for having scared her, I apologized for it. I had completely forgotten that any little noise sets her off, makes her jumpy.

"I don't know Jasper, he asked for it so I gave it to him. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm figuring it out as I go along." Well fuck of course she didn't know what she was doing. Father always has had this rule of Liz never being able to date anyone and now all the sudden, he was forcing her to continue to date someone who she didn't even know. She had just blurted out his name in the heat of the moment, scared shitless over what father would've done if he knew the truth.

I would've tried to protect her of course, had he dared tried to do something horrible to her, but even I knew I wouldn't have been much help. We'd both suffer. Hell, even Edward would suffer too. It was a never ending cycle with father. That bastard was relentless, we all knew it.

I didn't answer her as we walked out to the parking lot. Luckily, Edward was there by himself. Even after that talk we had, I still wasn't keen on him being so friendly with that James guy. Not that I had anything against it, but we all knew the hell we'd have to pay if something ever got back to father. That man had eyes all over. Sometimes I wondered if he even had people watching us here.

We drove back home in relative silence, neither of us really knowing what to say to the other. I knew that Edward was on Liz's side, he always was. Which, I didn't blame him. Those two were way closer than he and I were. It wasn't that I was jealous of that because god only knows that Liz and I had our own bond going, but it would've been nice for once Edward to actually look at the situation from all sides. He saw what Liz told him and that was pretty much it.

He didn't see the pain that it could end up causing not only her, but all of us. We didn't know how long Jacob was going to go along with this façade, this lie. For all we knew, he'd call it off in a week or two. Father's warning from last night still stuck in my head. His threatening the three of us that if something were to go wrong in their relationship, we were all going to have to pay. Which, how much sense did that fucking make? Edward and I weren't 'dating' this guy. Then again, this was father. When one kid 'screwed' up, we all did. It had always been this way so why would this be any different?

I hated not knowing what was going to happen. I knew nothing about this guy and yet, he was suddenly an extremely vital piece in this mind fuck of a puzzle. One wrong move from him and it would all very well blow up in our faces.

I wondered if Liz realized that when she said his name, or had she been too concerned with the idea of protecting Edward and I? My guess it was the latter part. That's all she was ever thinking about, always putting the two of us before herself.

That wasn't the sort of life someone her age should have to live. She should be out there enjoying life instead of coming up with ways to make sure we didn't get hurt as bad. She didn't even know if this was going to work. For all we knew, father would hit harder in non-visible places from now on.

My mind was all over the place that after we got home and I knew Liz was in her room, I went over to talk to Edward. He'd understand, he'd tell me what the hell I needed to do. It didn't matter who was close or whose side he was on, Edward was my rock. He was my brother.

He didn't seem too surprised when I walked into his room. He was sitting at his desk, papers already scattered about and his journal in hand. I swear that guy was always writing something. He never showed me what was in there, but that was alright. What he wrote was obviously private and I had no right to pry. In this house, we took what little privacy we could find.

"I have to talk to you."

He lifted an eyebrow and set down his journal. "I know Jazz." He shook his head. Right, should've known.

"Edward, I honestly have no idea what the hell is going on anymore."

"Me either. I mean, I heard what Liz had to tell me last night and then again this morning, but I'm still not so sure it's a good idea."

"Then why didn't you tell her that?"

"You know she wouldn't have listened anyways. She had her mind set the second she said she was dating Jacob. Which, that makes no sense either. She doesn't even know him all that well."

Sighing, I leaned against the wall and looked at my brother. "He's trying to work her, Edward. I just know he is. Guys like him don't just agree to something without wanting something major in return."

"You don't think he'll take advantage of her do you? Liz…she's too innocent, she wouldn't have any idea…"

"He better not take advantage of her, I'll kick his ass if he so much as thinks about it."

"Do you think he's really going to go along with this fake relationship thing? It's all odd to me."

"She has no idea what she's getting into. She doesn't know how to handle these kinds of things, Edward. She's never dated anyone before. We don't even know if this will work out."

"She's got her mind set that it will help all of us. Which, that would be great, but not at her expense. She shouldn't have to pretend to date someone just so father may or may not hurt us worse than he already does."

"She shouldn't pretend to date anyone at all."

Something seemed to click in Edward's mind. "This has a lot to do with you and Liz doesn't it?"

I glared at him. Well no shit it had a lot to do with the two of us.

"How can I watch her date some other guy Edward?" Granted, there could never be a way to be public about how we felt, but still.

"She's not going to be really be dating him, Jazz."

That's when the thought hit me. "What if they really do though?"

"I don't…what do you mean?"

"What if Liz realizes that she really likes this guy and they actually start dating? God, I don't think I could fucking handle that, I really don't."

"Why would you even think that?" He seemed amused.

"It's possible, Edward. For all we know this guy will sweep Liz off her feet, make her fall in love or some shit."

"Oh, I highly doubt that Jasper."

"Why are you so god damn calm about this?" I wanted to shout at him, slap some sense into my brother. Did he not get what I was saying?

"That won't happen because Liz won't see Jacob in that light. If anything, he'll be her friend. She…she wants you, not anyone else."

That didn't exactly reassure me. "How can I be so sure?"

"You think she'd be doing this if she didn't? You think she'd risk all her happiness if she didn't want you? Sure she's doing it for me as well, but lots of the things Liz does are for you."

He had a point there. "Fuck, this is just too complicated."

"When have our lives not been complicated?"

"You're right about that. So, you're basically telling me that I have to sit back and watch this all unfold?"

"Basically. Who knows Jasper, maybe it will really work. Maybe father won't hurt us as badly or as often. You never know."

"I don't know Edward. We aren't exactly the fortunate ones in this household."

He frowned. "We are actually. Look at what a selfless sister we have, Jasper. Tell me, what girl would put herself in that situation for the sake of protecting her brothers?"

When I didn't respond, he just nodded. "My point exactly. We are fortunate Jasper, just not in typical ways."

"How do you do that Edward?"

"Do what?"

"No matter what, you can always calm me the fuck down with your little talks."

"I'm just telling you the truth. I'm a more keen observer than you and Liz are. Sometimes when things are right in front of you, you both seem to overlook it. That's where I come in."

"Well, thank god for that." I removed myself from the wall and hugged him. "I have no idea what I'd do without you."

"Yea, yea I know."

I left the room and headed towards mine where I spent the next hour or so working on new assignments. Every now and then my mind would drift towards Liz and this new situation she was in now. As much as I hated it, I was more concerned about her getting hurt than anything else. If this Jacob guy hurt her, I'd lose it. I honestly would. Father was one thing, but I had no problem making him pay if he hurt my sister.

She already endured so much and she didn't need any more pain.

I anxiously awaited father's arrival. Surely he would've had a chat with Jacob's father today. Only father would do something so twisted as forcing his daughter to date his boss's son. And leave it up to Liz to name the one person in that entire school who father actually knew.

He and mother seemed to be in relatively good mood when they arrived home. Of course that all could change in a blink of an eye.

After Liz served everyone, she took her usual seat beside Edward and threw me a glance. In the few seconds that my eyes met hers, I got the sense that she was completely petrified at the moment. I wished I could do something for her, help ease her nerves somehow, but I couldn't. She knew that, she was just looking for reassurance. Well hell I didn't have that for her either. However, I could fake reassurance. Even if I didn't believe it, sometimes all Liz needed was a little nod or smile and she would feel better. I think she knew sometimes that my reassurance wasn't real, but she took it anyways.

Like Edward said, we take things in whatever way we can get them. A curt nod was all she needed for the moment before she quietly started eating. Well, more like poked around at her food. I knew that Liz had a bit of an obsession with her weight and it was all because of our father. If he wasn't constantly telling her things, she probably could eat without worrying about gaining weight. In all honesty, she needed to. She was getting too skinny again, to the point where not only people would start to notice but it wasn't good for her health.

If she wasn't strong enough, the bruises would stay longer and she would take a longer period of time to get over a slap here or kick there.

As I watched her I just silently hoped that she wasn't taking any drastic measures to maintain her 'perfect' weight. Liz was a lot of things, but stupid wasn't one of them. No, my sister had the common sense to not do anything like that. Just in case though, I was going to have Edward talk to her. She'd never tell me and I didn't exactly know how to go about it. Maybe it was because they had a stronger bond or the fact that he was gay, I have no idea, but Liz would tell him the truth.

Things were going alright until about halfway through the dinner. The phone started ringing and no one made a move to go answer it. No one ever called during dinner and we weren't exactly sure what to do.

"Well, is someone going to get that?" Father lifted an eyebrow at our mother and she was quickly out of her seat, answering the phone with a rushed "Hello?"

After a minute, she back. "Eliza, darling you have a phone call."

All eyes came to rest on her as her eyes widened in surprise and confusion. Had she forgotten already that she had given that boy her phone number?

"Don't just sit there Eliza, get up you stupid girl." At the sound of father's voice, she was up in a second and off towards the living room.

All we could hear was her part of the conversation.

"Oh, hi Jacob. Um, I'm fine thank you. Oh yes I'd love to."

She was just spitting out answers to god only knows what he was asking her.

After another minute or two, they wrapped it all up. "Alright, I see you tomorrow Jake." There was a brief pause before she laughed lightly. "Ok then, night."

Liz walked back in, eyes cast down as she picked at her nails. A nervous trait she did once in awhile.

"Eliza, come." Father was calling her before she even sat down. She hesitantly walked over to where father was already standing. "Who was that young lady?"

What was he deaf? He knew exactly who it was.

"It was Jacob, father." Her voice was barely above a whisper as she stood near me.

Our father simply smirked. "I see. Well next time your boyfriend decides to call here, make sure he calls at an appropriate time do you understand me?"

"Yes, I'll let him know."

"Eliza did you just hear what I said?" His voice increased a fraction. "You will not tell him that, but you better make damn sure he doesn't call during this hour again."

What the fuck? How the hell was she going to that? God, our father had a really cynical way of thinking.

"I heard you father. Maybe…maybe I just didn't understand?"

"You never understand anything do you Eliza? I swear you're like a child sometimes." In a second, his hand was raised and I knew he was fully prepared to slap her across her face for being 'incompetent.' However, before the back of his hand could come in contact with her cheek, her suddenly lowered it, instead grabbing her upper arm roughly.

We all watched in shock. Father never veered from where he was going to hit us.

Gripping her tighter, he brought her closer. "That boy is to never call at this hour again, do you understand me?" He enunciated each word slowly, treating Liz like she was stupid and incapable of keeping up.

She winced when she he twisted her arm before she responded. "Of course father, I'll make sure of it."

He released her quickly, her hand coming up to rub her arm.

"Good, now sit down." He waved his hand at her and she sat as quickly as she could.

I watched as she moved her arm in tiny circles, trying to break apart some of the pain. It didn't exactly take it away, but it seemed to be working.

As I continued to watch her, I realized something.

I realized that Liz very well be right about this fake relationship.

I don't father had ever done what he did just now before. He was always so precise, so he knew hitting Liz on her face would cause major questioning with the new boyfriend, but also wasn't about leave her unmarked. So he went for a spot where no one would see it.

As ruthless as that was, Liz was suffering less because of it.

Which meant that if she continued to 'see' Jacob, then maybe father was ease up on us a bit.

Fuck, our lives were about to get even more twisted if that were the case.

If Liz saw her plan working, who knows how far she was going to take it.

In order to protect all of us, she was about to risk everything.

I wasn't sure if I could just sit by and watch that happen and not say anything.

Your thoughts, as always, are greatly appreciated.

Jasper had some thoughts this chapter that you will definitely see come in to play again later in the story.