Chapter 10:
They finish dinner in tense silence, well the adults did, Rose was just happy that her father was home. "Harry, why don't you and Rose go into the living and catch up. I just need to clean up a little and I'll go into to the living room to talk later?"
Harry nods once, "Sure 'Mione."
She watches as Rose leads Harry into the living room, chatting animatedly with him. She chuckles softly, Rose is so different than she or Harry are in many ways. But so alike in many ways, she loves to read and has a sense of adventure. She's always defending those in need on the playground. Almost like Harry's 'saving people thing.'
She sets the dishes to wash with her wand, absentmindedly twirling a strand a hair with her finger, lips pouted. She wonders how it's going to be having Harry living with them for a few days. The tight quarters and Rose getting to know her father.
She sighs softly, "I'm going mad, it's finally happened..."
In the living room, Harry was having a much greater time learning about his daughter. He had her in his arms, twirling her around the room in semblance of a waltz, he would ask her questions during their dance.
"And what's your favorite flower?" He asked her.
Rose pouted her lips and furrowed her brows, "Lily's or Daisies!" She adds with a broad smile.
Harry's face brightens, "You know, your sisters name is Lily?" Rose nods once, "And her favorite flower is the Rose! Isn't that funny!" Rose starts giggling.
Rose then asks him a question, "Daddy, what's your favorite pizza topping?"
"Hmmm, well I do like pepperoni and ham, but sometimes," he looks around as if he's checking for any eavesdroppers, he lowers his voice, "I like to add mushrooms! Don't tell your mum! She hates mushrooms!"
Rose starts giggling like mad, "Mum loves mushrooms!" She protests.
"Well, how should I know! Maybe she loves them because you love them! Tell me Rosie girl, do you love mushrooms?" He raises his brows at her.
"Noooo," she whines! They both laugh loudly. He looks at the clock hanging above the mantel, he realizes the late time, "Rose I think it's time for bed..."
Rose starts to protest, "But what if I sleep and you're not here in the morning?" Her eyes start to water.
"Oh love, I'll be here! I promise! I'll even read you a bedtime story, yeah?"
"Okay," she nods slowly, snuggling closer to his chest.
He helps her change pajamas and brush her teeth, the tries to braid her long hair. "I'm not very good at this," he mutters.
She giggles, "It's okay daddy," she slowly puts her hair into a regular braid just like her mother taught her.
Now that she was all settled down, Harry tucked her in, "Which story tonight miss?"
"Tell me how you met mummy?" She asks softly.
Harry's eyes widen, "Okay," he says meekly. "Well, it all started when we boarded a train to Scotland, heading towards Hogwarts. I was sitting with our friend Ron Weasley...the this girl comes into the compartment, and with a bossy tone says, 'Has anybody seen a toad? Neville's lost one.'" He smiles to himself, "She was so excited, your mum, I missed her all these years." He notices her eyes start to drop, "Sweet dreams Rose." He kisses her forehead and leaves the room quietly, shutting the door softly.
He hears the wireless playing softly in the living room, he sees Hermione with a glass of wine, "Hey."
She looks up startled, "Harry, did she go to sleep okay? She sometimes gets vivid nightmares." Harry looks alarmed for a few seconds, "Oh, no! Nothing like your old nightmares, just regular kid stuff, she has a vivid mind. Sometimes her worries plague her and they transform into nightmares! Promise," she swears to him.
He visibly deflates, "Good," he sits in silence, pouring himself a glass of wine. "Isn't this how we conceived Rose? Maybe we shouldn't be drinking," he tries to joke but Hermione only rolls her eyes.
"We weren't drunk Harry, we just kept trying to tell ourselves that so we didn't feel guilty, which we still did...How's Ginny? Lily?" She looks at him but his stare is too intense so she averts her gaze.
"They're doing well, well as well as finding out that your marriage was void 4 years ago, the they're great!" He says sarcastically. "Lily is beautiful and she's learned so much. She and Rose would get along. They both love to read, although, Lily has never had problems with her magic like I saw Rose have tonight. Rose must be very powerful." He looks at his hands gathered on his lap, "She beautiful Hermione. I wish I was there when she was born..."
Hermione's face hardens, "Yes, well, we all make mistakes. But Rose is not one of them. She was born on the exact date that the doctor said she was going to be born on. She was a healthy weight and height, she had a lot of hair when she was born. I've never been more terrified and exhilarated as to when Rose was put into my arms. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And she was mine!" She says with a broad smile.
Harry looks both sad and happy at her response. "Did you ever think about me?"
She looks affronted, "Of course I did! I love, loved you, I was pregnant with your child and you were married and just had a baby! With somebody I considered a friend! I tried so hard to get over you, but we just kept coming together. You would come over and we would cuddle and talk, and then you would go home to your wife. And I was left alone. I had condemned myself to only getting your love that way. I never even tried dating because I kept thinking of you. I was sad and lonely. I was borderline depressed Harry. Then that night happened, and I was happy! And then we woke up, and you had this look on your face, clearly you regretted what we did. So I let you go, and then I learned I was pregnant. So I had to get the hell away from there. I couldn't raise a child knowing that as soon as she was born, everybody would know that you were the father! I just couldn't put Rose through that! I wouldn't condemn my daughter to be ostracized by people I thought of as family. You have to understand that everything I've ever done, has been for Rose."
"I knew, you know, I knew how I felt about you. I was a coward. Mrs. Weasley was so happy when the war ended, she kept hinting at a reunion, then that happened, then she kept hinting at marriage, and then grandchildren. And Ginny, while I do love her, it was never like I love you. She stopped taking the contraception potion without telling me. She would wait until I got home from work and then she would have to convince me to sleep with her. I don't know why she tried so hard!" Hermione scoffs at that, "Okay, well maybe I do know. Molly can be very persuasive! She probably told Ginny that having a child with me would make me open up to her more or something. I don't know, I'm an idiot...I thought a lot about you over the years..."
"Yeah? Well, we were best friends, we told each other everything. Except maybe our feelings," she concedes. She leans her head back on the sofa, "I remember this time when you accidentally slept over, it was right after you had a nightmare. You popped right over, jumped into bed with me, startling me, might I add! And I just held you as you cried, I remember feeling so helpless. Then in the morning, you were gone, and we never spoke of it again. I kept thinking of what would happen if I had a date and it progressed and we went to my flat and you needed me, but there would be this other man there. That's where I decided that I couldn't do that, I couldn't possibly entertain the idea of having a boyfriend or a husband in case you needed me. And that was a horrible thing to think of. It was completely toxic! Not having a life outside of you! You didn't ever show signs of feeling something for me. When Rose happened, I knew that getting way was the best plan, not only for her, but for our friendship. For our feelings. You needed to learn how to live without me Harry. I hope you have!" She adds with power.
"I know. I have learned, I started talking to a therapist and I talked to Ginny more. Well, not like I talked to you, but enough that she didn't suspect anything was wrong. God, I sound mad! I sound like a cheating bastard! Ugh, I am a cheating bastard!"
"Well, if you are, them so am I! Let's just both agree that we made mistakes and now we're going to fix them! Starting with our friendship..." She takes a deep breath, "I know you said we have a soul bond, but I don't believe in that. The only thing I believe in, is us, in our friendship. If we're going to build our friendship up, we have to promise that Rose comes first. You have to promise! We're not going to be those parents who make their child choose between families and witness their arguments. Promise me?"
He looks at her with a strong gaze filled with hope and love, "I promise. Rose comes first. But you have to promise me something in return?" She nods once, "You have to promise not to blame Lily for my mistakes..."
She scoffs, "Harry, I have never blamed Lily for anything. If I did, that would make me as bad as Snape! I promise to never blame Lily, she's Rose's sister. I wouldn't do that. And that, I promise!" She holds her pinky finger out to him, with a crooked grin, he entwined his pinky with hers.