Disclaimer: This is a non-profit parody set in the fictional world of Harry Potter. All rights belong to J.K. Rowling. Please review!
Rebecca sat at the table draped with black and silver, fidgeting rather nervously as more and more children began to sit down at other tables. Hardly any other first years chose Omaha. Bastogne had the highest number of recruits, with Fort Sumter being second. Gettysburg and Bunker Hill had gotten into an argument over who had the best overall average on test scores.
"Silencio!" a voice boomed over the crowd. There was immediate silence.
A man strode to the front of the Mess Hall, dark purple robes swirling behind him like a majestic cape. He turned to face the children, revealing the features of a monkey who had sucked on a lemon for far too long.
"Welcome children, to another year at the United States one and only wizard school!"
There was deafening roar as the seniors whooped and clapped. Apparently the silence spell can only deafen enthusiasm for so long.
"My name is Benedict Wiggleswroth, and I am your headmaster." Several first years couldn't contain their laughter. Wiggleswroth sent them a withering glare. "While I see you have all chosen your respective dorms, I would like to point out that none are inferior to the others. You all have ample opportunities to be what you choose. Before we eat, a few rules," the man's eyes slid to the Bastogne table and narrowed in suspicion. "There is no going out of the dome unless directed by a teacher or you're in a class that would require you to do so. You cannot break into the College portion of this campus. We have a campus that is approximately one hundred miles in area, and forty miles of that is devoted to the College. I repeat, DO NOT," Wiggleswroth's eyes seemed to find Rogue's baseball cap, "go to the College portion of the campus. If you do there will be severe consequences. Now," Wiggleswroth raised his hands as if in exultation, "try not to eat to the point you're sick."
There was no sound or motion. Just one second the tables were empty and the next there was food. It was like spontaneous combustion. It scared Rebecca so much she almost fell off the bench.
After she recovered she eagerly began to look at all the options that lined the table. There were hamburgers, hot dogs, pizza, French fries, different kinds of wizard soda, an untouched salad, several other untouched green things, grits, and…
"Seriously, who ordered Kentucky Fried Chicken?" she asked. "How do you even deliver takeout down here?"
"I dunno, how did food just randomly appear on this table? Oh, maybe magic?" A boy sneered. He grabbed the bucket and dumped several drumsticks on his plate.
"Seriously guys, you should drink water and eat fruits and vegetables. You'll regret it in the morning." Rebecca could hear a female Dorm Guide complaining to her male companions.
"Dude, we go to boarding school for a reason."
"The excellent quality of education?"
"No, so we don't have to be around mothers like you."
Omaha is brutal, Rebecca thought, dumping some pepperoni pizza onto her own plate. As an afterthought, she placed a strawberry next to it, in a vain attempt to look healthy.
"One strawberry does not a nutritious diet make," a girl said, sliding in next Rebecca. She was a cute girl, with bouncy blonde girls and sparkling blue eyes. She was the sort of girl who had probably been entered into beauty pageants since she was two years old. "I'm Maria, Maria Lerman."
"Lagertha," Rebecca lied. Maria frowned slightly, and titled her head.
"Are you sure that's your real name?" she sounded dubious.
"Ahhh… it's the name I chose, so why shouldn't it be my real name?" Rebecca felt a tingling sensation of pride. Her statement sounded like something a famous philosopher would say when questioning who he was. Apparently Maria Lerman missed the grandeur of the moment and squealed in excitement.
"So we're picking codenames? Okay, I should be Pink Butterfly." Maria smiled rather smugly, and Rebecca/Lagertha raised a quizzical eyebrow.
"Are you sure this is your real dorm?"
"This is the dorm I picked, so why shouldn't it be?"
Lagertha shook her head and chewed on her pizza whilst "Pink Butterfly" chatted on, eating her diminutive salad.
"How does it become nighttime if there's no sun? What's making the light?" Maria asked as they walked out of the Mess Hall. She pointed to the darkening sky, or rather, bowl. Lagertha shrugged her interest focused on the Dorm Guide who was leading the first years to their sleeping quarters.
After weaving through a mysterious maze of different white colonial houses, the group came across the largest mansion Rebecca had ever seen. It was four stories tall, its porches, balconies, and pillars blown up to size to support the massive structure. A banner hung from the first balcony; it had a picture of a silver dragon against a black background and underneath the picture there were the words; Omaha: Persevere Regardless.
The group ascended the steps to the white porch and marched through the doors. The inside was, if possible, even more breathtaking than the outside. The first room was wide and capacious, completely covered in a red oriental rug. There was a fireplace in one corner and there were comfy leather couches and tables spread with no pattern in mind. The rest of the house was already lounging on these couches and chairs, talking and laughing obnoxiously. There were several bookshelves, and a radio was currently blaring Lady GaGa. Lagertha knew better than to ask how they got a radio signal under water.
"Alright, first years," the dorm guide turned to face them, and scratched his beard before continuing. "There are two staircases, the right leads to the boy's rooms and the left leads to the girl's rooms. Your room number should have appeared on your pendant."
Lagertha pulled her necklace out and scrutinized the back. It was no longer a blank black screen; there were letters and numbers written in white.
GL4: R 74
"Girl's Level Four, Room Seventy-Four," she murmured and dragged her suitcase towards the white carpeted steps.
The journey to the fourth floor with a heavy suitcase in hand was not going to be easy. It would've been comparatively much nicer if any of the boys had been able to come and help her, but sadly they were strictly forbidden from even going up the steps.
Fifteen minutes later, Lagertha found herself in front of GL4: R 74. Her name was already printed on a bronze plague on the door. Underneath it was another name…
"Lagertha! Look, we're going to be roommates!" Maria squealed again, her pale face pink from excitement. Lagertha tried to smile, but it came out like a grimace.
The room was not exceptionally large, but it was still bigger than the closet Lagertha had lived in. In one corner there was a brown bunk bed, and two school desks were lying in another corner. A closet was and a small dresser were the only places to put clothes.
Lagertha tossed her book bag to a desk and pushed her suitcase unceremoniously to the floor. She yawned and clambered into bed, clothes and shoes still firmly attached to her feet.
She fell asleep the incessant chatter of Maria, a contented smile on her face.
Notes: Transitional chapter, so not much happens. This was just to introduce the dorm. Also not up to my usual standards, but my prom was last night, so I'm a little befuddled.
One thing, "Persevere Regardless" is a quote I stole from a WWII soldier's grave. He was buried in Germany, very far away from home, and his words have always been an inspiration to my family.
Susan sebest: :) Glad you liked it! Sadly though someone else also had the same idea. I looked up "Lake Superior" under the search engines for and someone else did have the same exact idea for an American wizard school. I wrote this before I knew though, but I thought I should tell you because it would be unfair to the writer. I did message her an apology, but I think her account is inactive. Again, I didn't know someone else had already had the idea, otherwise I would've put the school in the Rockies or something…
Clayva: Thanks so much for you review and following :D