Chapter 10

Nothingness. There was nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to touch, nothing to smell. It was a feeling of weightlessness, of floating in an endless void. There was no contact with the outside. It was just Elsa.

But it also meant no problems. No sick sisters, no kingdom to manage, no worries to bother Elsa's peace. She liked it this way. It was the only reprieve she had during these troubled times, her only escape left. But even in her own body, Elsa was unable to find reprieve.

Elsa had no plans for the future. She had no plan of action. At the moment, she was only concerned with trying to escape her awful reality. She was losing her sister, her kingdom, and even her own mind and body. But Elsa had no idea what was going to come next once she survived this ordeal. Nor did she have a plan for that far ahead.

Elsa was acutely aware that her body was still there, somewhere. It was with Anna, she could feel somehow. That was fine with her, Anna was happier with Elle anyway.

Times like this allowed Elsa to think hard, but most of the time, she chose rather to not think at all. It was nice, but it was getting old.

Many days had passed by since Anna and Elle started their private sessions. Each day, Elsa spent less and less time within her own body. She still felt like hell, but the peace of being locked away within her own mind proved to be a greater rest than Elsa could have imagined. Only now she was starting to realize that she had completely lost control of her life. Was it time to start trying to get it back?

A wave of despair washed over Elsa's soul, putting the thought to rest. It wasn't time yet. Anna still held her sessions and didn't appear to be getting any better.

No, I just have to wait a little bit longer. Everything will work itself out.

So Elsa thought. Would it though? She couldn't be sure. It didn't matter anyway. Things were better of this way, both for Anna and the kingdom.

It doesn't feel right. Are things really better this way?

Elsa found herself asking that question more and more, but she refused to let it ruin her moment of peace.

Elsa inhaled sharply. She could feel the air filling her lungs, the light blinding her eyes. Her senses had returned. In an instant and without warning, Elsa had returned to her body.

Elsa blinked away the blinding light and looked around in confusion. She was in her room with Anna as she should have been, but something was wrong. She had never transformed herself, nor was asked to. Something was very wrong indeed.

"Anna, what happened?" Elsa asked her sister whose attention, she noticed, seemed to be drawn elsewhere.

"I'm sorry?"

"What happened with Elle?"

For a moment, Anna appeared to tense up before turning to face Elsa. "What do you mean, Elsa?"

"I mean, what just happened right now?"

"I don't understand what you're talking about, Elsa. I finished up the session with Elle and asked you to come back."

No.

It wasn't the first time Elle had done the transformation herself. The incident with the maid in the hallway was the first and only time it happened, but that time her other self had an excuse for doing it. Or so Elsa was told. This time there was no other explanation that Elsa could think of besides one. Elle was cutting Elsa out of the loop.

First this, but then what? Replace me completely?

"I-I need to go. Goodnight, Elsa," Anna said before rushing out of the room. Elsa barely took notice until the door slammed shut behind her.

"Elle," Elsa called out once she realized she was alone.

"Elsa, how are you holding up?" Elle replied in return. She acted like nothing was wrong.

"What is your problem?" Elsa demanded, she wanted to stay collected but her emotions were getting the better of her lately.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand."

"Why did you transform for me?" Elsa wanted answers and Elle's lack of empathy in her tone wasn't helping.

"Why are you getting so worked up, dear? I just thought it was more efficient." There was no face for Elsa to see but she could imagine the smug expression Elle would've had.

"Well, it's not what I want." Elsa began to pace around her room. Anger and other emotions plagued her mind, but no snow or ice presented itself for some reason.

"Are you so sure, Elsa? Isn't this exactly what you wanted?"

"No. This is too much. I'm losing control."

"You already lost control."

"No!" Elsa screamed at Elle. Elle wasn't there of course, but Elsa had somehow ended up at her mirror. The reflection showed Elsa, but she couldn't help but see her other self in the reflection instead. "This is going too far."

"You asked for my help and I gave it to you. This is what you wanted, Elsa." It was hard to believe Elle was an extension of herself.

"Stop saying that. You don't know what I want. You don't know me at all."

"Elsa, I know you more than you know yourself. You're a naive, scared little girl who is too weak to handle her own problems."

She knew that wasn't true. She was proving it now. "You're lying."

"Then why am I here? Running your kingdom. Comforting your sister. Explain that Elsa?"

"I..."

"You need me, Elsa. Without me, you are nothing."

"No, shut up!" Elsa cried out.

Elle laughed. "Are you going to cry again? Shut yourself off from the world within your own mind, maybe? Face it, Elsa, you are nothing without me."

Are things really better this way?

The question replayed itself within Elsa's mind. Elle's act tonight had proved to be the breaking point. Elsa was going to have to face the question no matter what.

"Listen, Elsa.-"

"Why?" Elsa cut her off.

"Why?"

"Why did you do this tonight?"

"I told you already. It's more efficient and easier this way."

"Why do you have the power to transform too? Why did you tell Anna only I could do it?"

There was no answer.

"You knew, didn't you? You knew all of this stuff and kept it from me. You even knew how to put me in and out of that void-like state too, didn't you?"

Still, no answer.

"You've been lying to me this entire time. I knew it was too convenient when I 'woke' up from there. It was all you this entire time. I thought you said you were here to help me?"

"I am."

"The only thing you've done to me is shown me how much of a fool I have been. I never should have let you help me in the first place."

"You never would have made it without me."

"Maybe, maybe not, but at least I wouldn't have lost control to you."

"You never had any control in the first place."

Elsa looked over her shoulder and smirked. "Oh yeah? Look at this place. It would have been frozen right now, but I learned to control my powers. Before I met you."

Elle's laughter rung through Elsa's head. "You call that control?"

Elsa hadn't thought she could ever hate a part of herself so much. "Who even are you?"

"I am Elsa."

Elsa was sure of one thing. This wasn't her.

"I don't know what you're planning on, but you took it too far. I made a mistake asking for your help and trusting you. I don't need you anymore." It was in the heat of the moment, but she knew she didn't want to talk to Elle ever again.

"Your world will crumble without me." Elle's tone had been flat the entire time but Elsa knew there was a threat behind those words.

"It's worse with you."

"Except I am actually keeping your world together. For you."

"That's the problem. This isn't your world. It's mine. Thank you for showing me my mistake, but your usefulness is now up."

"Don't do this, Elsa. You need me."

Elsa wondered if Elle would beg. "I can handle this myself."

"You can't. You were falling apart before you finally embraced me. Don't make the same mistake again."

"I can and I will. If what you say is true and you really are me, then I'll be able to handle this just as well as you can."

"Ah, I see your logic, but yet you fail to grasp how worthless you are. You need me."

"I don't. In fact, I want you to leave me alone. I will never transform myself again and I will never acknowledge your existence. You spent twenty one years without showing yourself, go back to doing it."

There was no immediate response. Elsa took a moment to look at herself, to actually look at herself in her reflection. She was proud of what she was seeing, it reminded her of herself before meeting Elle. Confidence and the bearing of the beautiful young queen she was. She was still distraught, even downright scared though. Elle's actions had been a wake-up call and their current argument raised Elsa's uncertainty ever more so, but she wasn't going to let that get to her.

Elle was downright dangerous. Elsa was going to have to do something about it, she had too.

Maybe I should go see Grand Pabbie, like I should have done originally.

Elsa mentally berated herself for being such a fool before. She had made the exact same mistake she had made during her coronation and it was the fear of losing control to Elle that made her realize it. Instead of facing her problems, she still ran from them. Elsa still wasn't sure how she was going to face them, but right she had more important things to deal with. Her other self.

Yet when her other self finally spoke, Elsa had a sinking feeling of dread. "Elsa, please think this through," Elle finally said, her voice flat and monotone, lacking the normal cockiness characteristic of Elle completely.

Elsa deeply into her reflection, as if looking for some sign of Elle with her own eyes.

"Get out. Leave me alone."

"You need me." There was a twinge of desperation in the way Elle spoke.

"Leave me alone," Elsa repeated louder.

"You need me," Elle echoed within Elsa's head.

"Leave me alone," Elsa continued to repeat, over and over, louder and louder.

Elle's voice grew louder too, shriller, and with a deeper sense of desperation. Elsa covered her ears as her other self's cries grew worse. She dropped to her knees, eyes shut tightly.

"Leave me alone!" Elsa screamed at the top of her lungs one final time and collapsed into a mound of snow.

It was quiet. The voices had stopped. Elsa sat up and surveyed her room. Her powers had let go during the confrontation, a blanket of snow had exploded from where she stood. Ice had crawled up the walls. Elsa scooped up some of the powder and let it fall through her fingertips.

Is she gone?

A few minutes of silence passed by while Elsa played with the snow. She finally smiled and thawed the room. She was gone and tomorrow was going to be a new day.

Anna collapsed face first onto her bed as soon as she returned to her room. Another night, another 'session', and another date with 'Elsa' while the real Elsa was oblivious to it all.

Her relationship with Elle had been progressing. A few nights ago they finally kissed. It was Anna's first (romantic) kiss with another girl. It was amazing and as Anna had expected, a lot better than kissing a boy. Softer, gentler, and even more breathe-taking. The fact that it was with her own sister too was exhilarating. It was also disappointing though because it really wasn't with her true sister. Anna wanted to share that kiss with her sister, Elsa, not Elle.

Elle was not Elsa and every attempt by Anna at trying to supplement the one for the other was met with failure. Cuddling and making out with Elle was fine, hot even, but it wasn't Elsa. Anna had fallen for Elsa and no amount of Elle was going to change that.

Anna sighed. Her time fulfilling her fantasies with Elle had taught her a few things. For one, there was no one who would ever be a good replacement for Elsa. Secondly, Anna realized her incestuous love wasn't just some kind of sickness. It was too real, the emotions were too strong. There was no possible way there was something wrong with Anna.

I think the real problem is with, Elsa.

Anna burst out laughing.

"Look at me, now I'm accusing Elsa of being in the wrong because she isn't in love with her sister. I think Elle is corrupting me," Anna mused to herself.

That wasn't a far off assumption either. No matter how hard Elle tried to be lovey-dovey with Anna, she still couldn't hide that malicious aura she gave off. The longer Anna spent with her, the more obvious it became.

To be honest, it scared Anna a little. She lacked empathy and cared little for others. Anna was the exception, but it became noticeable when they talked about things or during the few times they encountered a staff member during their dates. She was also incredibly cut-throat in her dealings and always got her way from what Anna heard too. What Anna didn't witness directly, she pieced together from rumors and stories of 'Elsa's' governance. Anna knew the rumors and stories were really about Elle now that Elsa had given her almost virtual control over the crown.

Elsa.

Elsa almost didn't exist anymore. When she wasn't sleeping, she was Elle. Anna barely saw her sister anymore. She had thought Elsa was in a slump and just needed some time. Time wasn't fixing anything though.

Anna rolled over and hugged her pillow. She was worried about her sister. Now that she was beginning to understand who Elle really was, Anna grew paranoid of what was really going on between those two. She could totally see Elle bullying Elsa into submission. It wasn't as farfetched of an idea now as it was a few weeks ago.

Anna rolled over again to face her ceiling.

Elsa.

Anna missed Elsa too much.

"I need to dump Elle." Anna wasn't surprised when she blurted that out. It really was a decision several days in the making, one that had to fight hard against the idea of Elle's soft, delectable lips. Anna loved her dates, but she was loving them less and less. She needed Elsa and Anna was beginning to suspect that Elsa needed her even more. She was going to bring Elsa back to the world of the living, back in control of her kingdom, and back into Anna's life.

Anna couldn't ignore her desires for Elsa, but she'd be damned if she let them continue living like this. Anna shot up from her bed, rejuvenated by a surge of confidence.

"I'm going to put my feelings aside and fix this. Forget what happened in the past, we'll fix that later. Right now I need to get Elsa back to normal. Thinking about it now though, I guess dating Elle really did help me get over my feelings for Elsa. At least enough for me to put them aside to help Elsa."

Though I really doubt Elle is bullying my sister into submission. She can't be that bad and Elsa is stronger than that. Right?

Anna wanted to believe that. She really did want to, but here she was making this decision, partially out of worry for Elsa.

"Alright, Elsa, we're going to get you back to normal. First I have to break it up with Elle though."

Before falling asleep, Anna decided she was going to do it the next night during their nightly session. It was going to be the last time Anna asked Elsa to transform herself into Elle.

It was a fantastic day. It was already the afternoon and the day had gone by fine. There had been no signs of Elle and most importantly, Elsa was finally content. Elsa did have to cancel all of her meetings though. She would have to think up an explanation as to why her hair had suddenly grown back for those who didn't know about Elle. In the meantime, Elsa had to catch herself back up with ruling the kingdom, since Elle had been in charge of that up to this point.

It would have been easier with some kind of turnover rather than this abrupt transition, but Elsa still managed. Throughout the day of catching up, she discovered what kind of ruler Elle had really been during Elsa's absence. It was safe for Elsa to assume that Elle had quickly became a poor representation of Elsa's will. Elsa didn't let that get to her, things were different now and she was going to make up for her other self's harsh leadership.

"Is that all, your majesty?" Kai asked. She couldn't have done it without his help of course.

"Thank you, Kai, I think I am caught up to the present. I appreciate your help, I really do, but that will be all for today," Elsa responded.

Kai was gleaming, just happy to finally have his queen back. "Does your sister know about this?" he had to ask, hopeful.

"I'm afraid not." Elsa grinned, because she couldn't wait until she did. "I never got a chance, she had to leave early to go into town."

"Ah, yes, even the princess has her own duties to attend to once in a blue moon. What an unfortunate case of fate. I'm sure she will be happy to hear the news."

"Yes, I think she would. Actually, Kai, there is one thing you can do for me. When my sister returns later tonight, please have her come to my room right away."

"Very well, your majesty. I'm glad to have you back."

"I am too."

"Though I'm still curious what kind of lie you're going to tell the council when you finally decide to face them again," he wondered with a smile.

Elsa tugged at her long braid. "I'll think of something." She was ready to simply lop it off and be done with it, but she knew Anna wouldn't appreciate that.

Speaking of which, Elsa couldn't wait to face Anna later that night and tell her the news. Elsa knew Anna was going to be thrilled to hear it and Elsa was even already thinking up plans to spend the entire day with her tomorrow.

Elsa wrapped up her work and headed off to dinner. On the way, she passed a familiar servant in the halls. Elsa recognized her as the one from a few weeks ago, the one Elle had flipped out on. Elsa smiled at her as she passed. The young woman stopped and stared at Elsa in shock. Elsa giggled and continued on.

She hadn't been the first person that day who saw Elsa with her normal look rather than Elle's. As the days dragged on, only a select few servants like Kai knew about Elsa's secret and only they saw Elsa as Elsa. Everyone else, the counselors and the more common staff saw Elsa as Elle to avoid anyone from wondering why Elsa's hair kept growing back so fast. Until today that is. No doubt the rumors would start spreading that Elsa's hair was back to its normal length. She figured the most common speculation would be that Elsa had a double. Since Elle had been doing most of the official work, they would probably think the real Elsa was the double.

Oh well, that's a problem I have to face when it comes up. I suppose my magic is a good scapegoat I can use, I could always just tell them I have the ability to alter my hairstyle through magic.

Elsa continued to speculate on the wild rumors that would spread about her change in appearance throughout diner. She was glad the royal family's meal was an extremely private affair – a leftover policy from her childhood – since Elsa burst out laughing several times during the meal.

Finally she retired to her bedroom to await Anna's return. Several minutes passed and Elsa realized she wasn't sure when Anna was supposed to be back.

I suppose I could use this time to practice with my powers. Let's see...

Elsa hadn't even used her powers all today. She had chosen from her real wardrobe today and hadn't had time to use her powers. Not even to create a cooling breeze.

Elsa looked down at her hands suddenly. She was right, her magic hadn't made a single appearance all day. Sometimes that was a good thing, but ever since the thaw, Elsa usually used her powers daily, even if it meant the smallest of things done unconsciously.

"Odd," she whispered to herself.

Elsa held out her hand with the intention of creating a snowflake. Nothing happened. She pulled back her hand to her chest.

"What the...?"

A knock on the door interrupted Elsa. She recognized it instantly.

Forgetting what had just happened, Elsa glided towards the door with growing excitement. She still hadn't told Anna.

"Anna!"

The door flew open without warning, catching Anna completely off guard.

"Elsa!"

Anna moved through the open door quickly, as if scared it was going to close on her if she wasn't fast enough.

"Anna, it's so good to see you," Elsa exclaimed, closing the door behind them.

She sure is sprightly tonight.

"Did you enjoy your time out in town?" Elsa asked.

"Oh, yes," Anna answered. "I even managed to find Olaf wandering about and brought him back."

"Really? That's great. He's been missing for a while now. I'm glad he's alright."

"A few weeks actually," Anna pointed out. Olaf had wandered off around the time Anna had made her confession to Elsa as he often did. Sometimes he wandered back, other times they had to go look for him, but it was usually no big deal. Unfortunately, Elsa and Anna had both been too caught up in things around that time that they had never had the chance to go looking for him. Anna had really wished he had been there, at least as someone that Anna could vent to who wouldn't judge her. She was glad to finally have him back.

"Where has he been?"

"Up at the North Mountain with Marshmallow and the gang supposedly," Anna responded. "I left him downstairs after Kai told me you wanted to see me."

"The North Mountain? We haven't been up there in a while. We should go tomorrow," Elsa suggested with enthusiasm.

Tomorrow? How...unexpected. Her sister seemed different, a good different.

"Yeah, I suppose. Oh, so how was your day?"

"Just wonderful," Elsa answered readily, it was much unlike how she had been acting the last few weeks. A broad smile had broken over her sister's face, she seemed to radiate a warmth that Anna couldn't help to adore. This was the Elsa she had fallen in love with.

Elsa, what has gotten into you? You seem totally...normal.

Anna cocked her head to the side as she watched her sister. Elsa was definitely acting differently...well, normally actually. She hated that she had to dampen her good mood now.

"Listen, Elsa," Anna began.

"I have something to tell you," Elsa said at the same time.

They both laughed. "You go first, Anna."

She didn't hesitate, no use beating around the bush, better to get it over with quickly. "I want to stop holding these sessions."

"Huh? Really? Why?" Elsa asked, more curious than surprised.

Anna shrugged her shoulders, she didn't want to get into all the details. "I think we should just put this whole mess behind us to be honest."

Elsa stared at her with her mouth agape. Anna expected some kind of resistance from Elsa, in the form of Elsa caring about Anna's well-being or appeasing to her feelings before on how she wanted more sessions.

"Okay." She didn't expect Elsa to agree so easily.

"Okay?" Anna repeated.

"Yes, okay. I agree with you. Actually, Anna, I was-"

"Wait," Anna interrupted, "hold that thought. I need to do something first that I've been waiting to do all day. I need you to transform into Elle for me."

Elsa's face fell. "No," she stated bluntly.

"No?"

"Yes, Anna, no. I was trying to tell you, I won't be changing into her anymore."

Is that why she agreed to ending the sessions so easily? But what's her reasoning...

Anna didn't dwell on that thought very long. "Okay, that's fine, but I just need you to do it this one time. Please, Elsa. It'll be real quick."

"Why?"

Anna couldn't tell her the truth, but she didn't want to cut off Elle just like that. She wanted to end it right so they were both on the same page.

"I just need to tell her something really important. It will be the last time, I swear." She would be sure to tell Elsa in time.

"What could possibly be that important?"

"It's...it just is. Please just trust me, Elsa," Anna begged, folding her hands out in front of her face and pouting.

"I-I can't," Elsa admitted.

"Elsa, what happened?" Anna asked, suddenly concerned. Elsa had been acting strangely and now she wouldn't transform into Elle. Something must have happened.

"Nothing, nothing. I just wanted to spend time with you."

"And you will, but I just needed to tell Elle something real quick. It will only take a few minutes, then you can come back and never have to do it again." Anna continued to insist, now that Elsa assured her nothing had happened.

Elsa folded her arms around body. "Do you promise?" she asked.

"I promise," Anna assured her.

Elsa nodded and looked away somberly. A strange feeling started to form at the bottom of her stomach that gave Anna second thoughts. She had been waiting all day to break it off with Elle that it had been the only thing on her mind, however it was only just now that she realized how disturbed the request had made Elsa.

Maybe I shouldn't have pushed it.

Unfortunately, it was too late for Anna to change her mind. She wondered if there was something Elsa didn't want to reveal just like she had.

Elsa had folded to Anna's request so easily. She was a little disgusted with herself for it, it was the last thing Elsa wanted to do right now, but Elsa couldn't resist Anna's charm or deny her sister anything. Besides, Anna promised it would only be for a few minutes. Elsa could handle that. She would be in and out and back with Anna in no time. Maybe this time Anna would actually be a little more excited about Elsa's news once she got back.

As Elsa started the transformation process, she briefly remembered that there had been something wrong with her powers. Yet the magic started swirling around her anyway.

In and out.

A/N: Thanks to my two beta readers. Mig and Road.

Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews.