10. The Wrong Memories

He was standing on a pier, a Duel Disk on his arm, looking out across the open square of water to the dock on the other side where Yugi faced him with Red-Eyes Black Dragon and Beast of Gilford standing in front of him like a vanguard. Only, it wasn't Yugi who was his opponent.

His opponent was in his own head.

GET OUTTA MY HEAD! Joey tried to scream, but the words stuck in his throat as he grabbed his head and fell to his knees. Only instead of landing on his knees, he landed on his face with a loud 'oof.' And instead of the wooden planks of the pier, he found himself sprawled out on expensive Berber carpeting.

"Wha?" He grunted, then opened his eyes, disoriented. He wasn't on a pier in Domino; he was in Mai's apartment in San Francisco. On the floor of her bedroom, to be precise. Which begged the question: how exactly had he ended up on the floor?

Jumping up, he immediately saw his answer. Mai was kneeling on the bed, thrashing wildly, still asleep and in the throes of another nightmare. "Mai!" He dove onto the bed and tried to grab her by the shoulders, but she pivoted away from him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She swung at him with something she was holding in her hand. He ducked just in time, then coming in under whatever she'd just tried to bash him with, he tackled her around the waist, throwing her backwards on the bed, pinning her down with his weight. Her head hit the headboard with a crack that made him wince, but she didn't seem to notice. She just struggled beneath him as he grabbed for her arms and pinned them down. It was then that he saw what she'd tried to belt him with. Her Duel Disk? What the hell…?

"Mai, wake up!" He almost lost his grip on her hands as she bucked underneath him. "Wake up, Mai, you're having another nightmare!"

She continued to struggle a moment, then abruptly stopped. Sucking in a large breath, she opened her eyes. "What…?"

He let go of her arms and scooped her into an embrace. "It's over now. It was only a dream."

She said nothing, but went limp beneath him and he quickly rolled off of her, alarmed. As soon as he did, she sat up and gasped for air again.

"Mai?" He tried to bite down on his worry. "You're are awake now, aren't you?"

"Shit." She took another long breath, running her hand through her hair and pulling it back away from her forehead. "Shit! I am so sick of this." Pulling her knees up to her chest she bent over, one hand wrapping around her legs, the other supporting her forehead and holding back her hair.

"I know, baby, I know." He put his hand on her shoulder, but she didn't look at him or even acknowledge his presence. He frowned. "Mai?" There was no indication that she even heard him. She just continued to sit there, huddled into herself, and a sick feeling formed in the pit of his stomach. "Mai?" he repeated, louder this time.

She looked up then, but she was looking through instead of at him. Panicking, he grabbed her shoulders. "Mai, what the hell is the matter with you?" Nothing. He shook her gently. "MAI!"

She blinked several times, and her face changed suddenly, her eyes focusing on him. "J…Joey? Is that you?"

He almost melted in relief. "Yeah, Mai, it's me, I'm right here." He pulled her into another embrace, and this time she responded, wrapping her arms around him. He buried his face in her hair. "I'm not going anywhere, Mai. Not ever. I promise."

It was well past midnight when Téa finally returned home, her arms full of the books she'd brought with her to the public library, and then to an all-night coffee shop when the library closed. She'd read through every one of them without finding so much as a hint at a ritual that might reverse what had been done to Atem's body and soul, which only increased the frustration she was already feeling. She dropped the books on the floor of the common room, intending to go up to bed, but she saw a light up in the library and figuring it was probably Yugi, turned around to go back to the elevator instead. She got about halfway there when she realized Sara was staying with her and was likely already asleep. She, on the other hand, was still too wired to even think about sleep. Changing directions again, she went back toward the offices and behind the staircase.

Five minutes later, she was in the practice room wearing a crop top, leggings, and jazz shoes that she kept in a gym bag in her office. She selected something edgy and upbeat from the MP3 player in the built-in stereo system, cranking it up as loud as she dared in the middle of the night. She let the music fill her, pouring into every cell of her body until she was moving with it and there was nothing but the music and the dancing.

She let the MP3 player cycle through several songs. As she came to the end of the fourth or fifth song, she did a quick pas de boureé, ending in a flourish with a pirouette as the song finished. She came to a stop facing the door.

Yugi was there, leaning against the doorframe, watching her. Surprised, she straightened.

"You shouldn't have quit dancing," he said in the silence between songs. "You're too good."

The next song started, and she turned and went over to the stereo and flipped it off, grabbing a towel to wipe her neck in the process. "I told you before, I didn't quit. I just don't do it for a living anymore."

"Still… you make it seem so effortless, like the music becomes you just so it can fully express itself."

She draped the towel around her neck, feeling too peevish from their talk the other night and two days of stewing about it to give him an inch. "What do you want, Yugi?"

"I want to thank you for talking Kaiba into helping with the Egyptian texts. I really appreciate it."

Téa shrugged. "It was no big deal. You just gotta understand Kaiba's priorities if you want to get him to do the right thing, that's all."

"Still, getting his help was a very big deal. Thank you."

"Is that all?" She suddenly felt tired.

He looked down at his feet. "No. I also want to apologize."

"Well don't," she said, and his head popped up in surprise, but she was feeling petty enough to not care.

"Téa—"

"Just don't, Yugi." Then the bitterness gave way to something deeper and a little more raw. "I know you. You don't like conflict, so you swallow everything that bothers you to smooth things over, and that isn't going to help. This is obviously a real problem, so please don't smooth it over and pretend it isn't there."

He shook his head slowly. "I can't do that. I couldn't smooth it over if I tried."

She huffed out a breath, stung again. "Then why are you here?"

"Because I owe you an apology. I'm frustrated and angry with myself, and I took it out on you. That wasn't fair, and I'm sorry."

"Okay, so you apologized. Now go to bed. You can't keep going without sleep."

"I just woke up, actually. I've been sleeping since lunch."

"Well I'm glad. I, on the other hand, haven't slept well since before we left Luxor, so if you'll excuse me—"

"Téa, I'm losing my memories."

She stopped and looked at him. "What?"

"The memories from… the memories from him, from our time together. I first noticed it around New Year's Eve, and it's been getting worse every day. I can't remember him anymore. I can't feel him, Téa. He's just gone."

The raw anguish on his face melted some of her anger. "That must be why you felt what was happening all the way in London. It makes sense, I guess."

"No, you don't understand." His voice sounded ragged. "It doesn't make any sense at all. I'm losing the wrong memories."

She frowned, cocking her head. "What do you mean, the wrong memories?"

"I've lost all the wrong things, like… like… I don't remember how we met."

"How who met? You and I?" Her eyes widened in surprise and confusion. "What do you mean, you don't remember how we met? We were ten. You gave me that handheld game and I—"

"Yes, yes." He waved impatiently. "I know all that."

"But you just said—"

"I know how we met, but I don't remember. I know it the way I know how Joey's mom took Serenity away when they were kids because I've heard the story so many times. But I don't remember how you and I met like I was there. Same with how Joey and Tristan and I became friends—Joey taking the Puzzle piece and bringing it back. I know the story, but I don't remember any of it." He gave her a piercing look. "But what I do remember is what happened afterwards. I remember Ushio. I remember being furious at him for what he'd done, and I remember challenging him to a Dark Game. A Dark Game! You and Joey and Tristan I don't remember, but I remember Ushio."

Téa's frown deepened. "But that wasn't even y—" And then she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand, her eyes suddenly feeling the size of dinner plates.

"It wasn't even Yugi," he finished for her. "It's Yugi's memories that are gone."

She tried to swallow, but her mouth went suddenly dry. "Yugi, you're scaring me."

He closed his eyes, his voice thick again. "I'm scaring myself. I can't be… it doesn't make sense. But I'm losing touch with the part of me that is Yugi, and do you have any idea what I'm—what Atem is like without Yugi?" He opened his eyes and met her gaze again. "Do you understand the things… the things Atem has done? Challenging a teenager to a Dark Game? A despicable, nasty teenager, yes, but still a teenager. He lost his mind in that game because of the mighty Pharaoh." He practically spat the word. "Because the Pharaoh is a god, you see. He's not beholden to right and wrong like the rest of the mere mortals. No, he defines it. He is judge, jury, and… retribution."

"Stop it." She was starting to feel sick.

"Why? It's true, isn't it? And it was more than just Ushio, too. There were others. Others who lost their minds. Others who died. Others who could have. Joey's old friend Hirutani, remember him?"

She shook her head, choking back tears. "He was a horrible, horrible person…"

"He was, but that doesn't make it right. What if—" He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "What if Joey had never taken that Puzzle piece? Have you ever thought about what might have happened then? What if… what if Yugi had put the Puzzle together before Ushio. What do you think would've happened if the almighty Pharaoh had decided it was Joey who was the bully? That it was Joey who needed to get his comeuppance in a Dark Game?"

"STOP IT!" She felt like screaming, but she just squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head away from him.

"And what about Kaiba? It was his decision to stand on that damned wall. He deserved to fall, right?"

"But he didn't fall!" Her eyes flew open again and she faced him, defiant. "He didn't because you stopped the attack!"

"Yugi stopped the attack."

"Just stop it! You are Yugi! And you're wrong about Atem! He wasn't like what you're saying, and you know it! No one loved him like you did, not even—" She shook her head. "I don't understand how you can say these things. Maybe things were rough in the beginning because not even he understood what was going on, but not in the end. He changed. Like Joey changed, and Tristan. Like Pegasus and Marik and Bakura."

"Because of Yugi. All because of Yugi. Because of who Yugi is. And the two of us, the longer we were together the more like each other we became. Yin and yang, light and dark. We completed each other, but the more like each other we became, the more separate we became until one of us had to go. But if it's Yugi who's gone, if somehow I did something, if I made it so that the shadows took him instead of me, just like the Orichalcos—" He closed his eyes and slid slowly down the wall, lowering his head onto his knees.

"No." Téa clenched her hands into tight fists, setting her jaw. "No. It can't be." Except… Yugi would never say things like this about Atem, not ever. She blinked, trying not to let her reality slip out from under her feet. Slowly, she fought for control of herself. "But even if… even if it were somehow true and it's Yugi who… and you're… even if that were true, you've already fought this battle. Remember Death Valley? Remember how you… how the Pharaoh dueled Yugi and it was Yugi who was dark, remember? That was the whole point of that duel, to show you that you… to show the Pharaoh that it wasn't as simple as one being dark and the other pure light. You're the same."

"We're not the same, and it matters which one of us is here!"

She stared at him, tears tracing twin path down her cheeks. "I didn't mean… oh, God, Yugi, of course it matters! But it can't be true. It doesn't make any sense. How could you have just switched places like that?"

"I don't know. All I know is that I can only remember how to think and feel and be like Atem, and the part of me that is Yugi is gone."

"No. It… it has to be some sort of… effect. Like the Orichalcos. Like—" A sudden thought occurred to her. "Wait. Didn't you tell me once that this happened to you before, when you were on that dig in Egypt?"

He shook his head. "Not like this. That was bad, and I did feel disconnected and like I was somehow losing myself, but I didn't feel like this. It's more like the Orichalcos again, and Yugi is just gone."

"You're Yugi. You have to be Yugi."

"I hope so." He looked up at her and it was the Pharaoh's gaze that met hers, not Yugi's. It really was the Orichalcos all over again and she almost burst into a fresh round of tears.

"Oh, my God." She swallowed, her throat burning with the bile she forced back down. "What are we going to do?"

"We have to get him back. Somehow, some way, we have to get him back."