Chapter 10 Greeting The New Year
"Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind." Astrid heard from the shower, it was eight o'clock in the morning on Dec. 31st. Astrid was groggy, in part because of waking up before 10 am on a day she didn't have to get up before 1 pm, in part because her bed was cold due to the absence of a 99 degree cuddle-able furnace and most importantly her human-mattress was missing. Where is he... I hate when he leaves as I sleep, Astrid thought as bemoaned the absence of her favorite snuggle-buddy, Hiccup. Astrid heard more of the song, It cannot be... Hiccup can sing? He's actually very good Astrid thought as she got out of bed, again wearing one of Hiccup's shirts and boxers, in fact it was Hiccup's favorites.
"Babe, are you singing?" Astrid asked through the door as Hiccup continued to sing, apparently the song was longer than what Astrid figured it was.
"Oh... Good morning, Milady... um... yeah... its a Haddock family tradition. I'll explain when I come out." Hiccup said through the door or so he thought until he noticed the silhouette of Astrid at the sink brushing her teeth. "Or I can explain now. You see every year, the men of the Haddock family sing the whole song, finishing at midnight, with the women as the audience, from what I gathered its more of a sarnie when its just the Haddock and his wife or girlfriend..."
"So you're going to sarnie me with 'Auld Lang Syne'?" Astrid asked in her characteristic 'i'll believe that when I see it' manner, after spitting out the used toothpaste.
"I'll at least attempt... unless my parents are in the room." Hiccup answered, as he shut off the water. "Will you pass me my towel and crutches."
"Aw... how cute, even though we have been married for a week and had sex about six times before the consummation of our marriage you are still embarrassed to be naked in front of me." Astrid teased as she handed the towel to Hiccup's hand that reached around the curtain.
"Would you love me if I wasn't"
"You wouldn't be my Babe if you weren't and whom I love is my Babe. May I ask why do you avert your eyes or not come to the bathroom when I in here?"
"I try to a healthy respect and admiration for the beauty of the woman's metaphysical self, via respect for her physical form." Hiccup answered, as he pull aside the curtain with the towel wrapped around his wist. "Will you pass the crutches?" Hiccup asked as he gestured to the crutches that were just out of reach, noting that he was seated in the shower chair.
"I got a better idea." Astrid said and picked her husband up and put him over her shoulder, carried him to their bed and put him down on it. "In sickness and in health." Astrid smirked.
"Great... I married my father." Hiccup commented being his standard sarcastic self, boarding on the sardonic.
"I am flattered, you love strong people." She jested as she hand him a pair of boxers, a shirt and one of his artificial legs and what Hiccup puts on his leg in order for the prosthetic to attach properly. "You however, are nothing like anyone else in my family, male or female."
"Should I take that as a complement?" Hiccup asked as he started getting dressed, he was in a sarcastic mode.
"Do you want the honey-moon to end before the allotted month without any mead being drunk?" Astrid asked, the subtle tone being that she would end the honey-moon, most likely with Hiccup's life and drink the mead she didn't have before out of his skull.
"Sorry. You are beautiful." Hiccup tried to save himself "Divinely beautiful."
"You need to work on your tact, but I forgive you. So do you think I should change or should I just be?" Astrid asked.
"You had us publicly... umhum... re-consummate our ceremonial marriage in all your naturally glory and my not so glorious nature just before the reception, two days ago. Buy the way when did you have time to organize all that with my mother during our elope, if I may know?" Hiccup asked.
"I gave you a much need two hour rest without me fucking you in your sleep. I know for a fact you gave me that at least thrice. You can be surprise how fast your mother is at getting things together. But you still haven't answered my question."
"You look magnificent no matter what, and its nothing either my parents or your uncle haven't already seen. But maybe you should put on the long sleeve red shirt, with the fur hood, fur glove-forearm things, your usual skirt, blue pants and those boots with the fur tops that go up your calfes. But that's for tonight. But for now, you can wear that." Hiccup answered. Blushing as he alluded to Astrid being bear, he finished putting on what he had and went for a pair of his pants. "May I know, why do you always put on my favorite shirt and boxers whenever you can?"
Astrid was not sure how to answer that question. "Um... well... I think its because they are your favorite and I want to know that you are with me at all times. May I ask why these are your favorite?"
"Yes you may, mainly they are favorite because I was wearing them when I met you."
"Aw..." Astrid said as girls are known to say when they see something cute. "Just when I thought I found all the reasons I could possibility love you, you reveal a gross more." Astrid then kissed her husband affectionately.
"And I'll keep doing so for as long as we both shall live, Milady." Hiccup said after the kiss and returned the kiss, while to him it felt only as much as Astrid kissed him, but Astrid knew it was ten-fold. After breaking it. "I am going to get breakfast together, would you like it at the table or in bed?" Hiccup asked as he heading out of the room.
"I'll meet you at the table, Babe." Astrid answered. After Hiccup left, Astrid laid out the cloths Hiccup suggested. When she was finished she arrived downstairs expecting to see Hiccup at the stove starting their breakfast, only to join him in being agape at what they saw in the kitchen. Fishlegs was spoon feeding a blindfolded Ruffnut.
"Um...Fisher... what is going on?" Hiccup asked breaking the scene.
"Oh... um... Hiccup, sorry. Um..." Fishlegs stuttered. Ruffnut removed the blindfold and weakly smiled at Astrid and Hiccup.
"I am only going to ask one question "Did you make any for Astrid and I?" Hiccup asked deciding to change topics before things got more uncomfortable.
"Yes, they are under the plastic things that keep the heat in." Fishlegs answered and pointed to the dishes on the counter. Hiccup sat Astrid at the table and got the breakfast for him and Astrid. The four ate in silence, the awkwardness was thick in the air, but no one knew how to address and resolve the elephant in the room.
Finally after enough was enough, "So should we call you guys 'Fishnutts' or 'Rufflegs'?" Astrid asked clearly annoyed.
"I am still undecided between him and Snotlout. I made the two agree that I test the waters with both first. So far Fishlegs is in the lead." Ruffnut answered.
"You are aware that he just fed you as he feeds Meatlug?" Hiccup could not help but ask, that resulted in a glare from Astrid and an 'um why did you tell her?' fearful look from Fishlegs.
"At least he feeds his dog willingly, Hookfang has to drag Snotlout into the kitchen, call attention to the empty bowl and growl, bark and bite until its full." Ruffnut answers rather not insulted or concerned about being compared to the lazy bull dog sleeping next to her feet. "I took the liberty to invite everyone for the New Years Eve party here, well Snotlout, Tuff and Heather, I think Heather invited a co-worker of her's, Cami...cami... cami... something" Ruffnut tried to identify the other person.
"Camicazi! Great I now I have to send my New Year's Eve keeping the Divine Beauty from killing the Divine Wind." Hiccup replied in his typical sarcastic manner.
"What?" Ruffnut asked.
"Camicazi comes from the Japanese word 'kamikazi' which come from the individual Japanese words 'kami' meaning 'god' or 'divine spirit' and 'kazi' meaning wind, kamikazi in short means 'divine wind' and Astrid is Old Norse and means 'divine beauty', and since Astrid knows about something that Camicazi did to me a long time ago, Astrid may kill Camicazi and I am not strong enough to endure my wife in prison for life or on death row. Sorry, Milady."
"Babe, coffee, black, now." was all that Astrid said clearly not a morning person.
"According to my information, from a friend of mine that is part of the theater troop crew, Camicazi shouldn't be a problem, unless she starts hitting on you and Astrid." Fishlegs commented
"Why would she hit on both? While I admit Hotcup is cute and all, but Astrid is clearly the more desirable of the two. Heck if I was into girls I would do anything for Astrid." Ruffnut questioned.
"Camicazi is... how do I say it delicately... well she likes to be in tricycle with a heterosexual couple." Hiccup tried to use euphemisms, but Ruffnut blinked in confusion.
"What they are trying to say is that I am bisexual, preferring to have a threesome with a couple." came a voice Hiccup had not heard for months, no one heard her enter the house and come into the dining room, someone left the main door unlocked. "Camicazi Bog, at your service. You must be Astrid Hofferson, glad to met yah." Camicazi said addressing Astrid.
"So you're the bitch that conspired with the football team to humiliate my husband back in high school. I cannot say the same." Astrid replied, she was still groggy.
"She's not a morning-person, Camicazi. I am sorry, Astrid, I should have told you this before, but I bumped into Camicazi a while back and she explained to me that she was blackmailed into being involved in the prank. You see back then she was not sure how being viewed a bisexual would affect her chances for being elected as prom-queen. The football team captain threaten that he would go public with the knowledge unless Camicazi agreed to go along with the prank. I contacted the captain of the team back them and he confirmed your story." Hiccup informed. "I have also forgave her, so since I was one whom carried the geisha, I would recommend letting the issue go."
"What do you mean with the whole geisha thing?" Fishlegs asked the question on everyone's mind.
"Its' an old Japanese story, two zen monks, a master and an apprentice, were traveling. They came across a geisha that couldn't cross a river like they could because to do so would ruin her kimono. Now according to the vows the zen monks have made, they couldn't touch a woman, period. The master however picked the geisha up in his arms and carried her across the river and put her down on the other side. The apprentice was not far behind the master. As the two continued on their travels, after the master bid goodbye to the geisha, the apprentice tried his best to not call the master out as a hypocrite. After arriving at an inn to spend the night, as the two were eating their evening meal the apprentice, not able to take it anymore, berated and chastised the master for touching the geisha. After allowing the apprentice to let his anger out and waiting long enough to allow the apprentice to let go of enough anger to listen, the master said calmly 'I put her down at the river's bank. Why are you still carrying her?' The message is that once you resolved something, let it go and move on." It was Valka, she had came in from outside just as Hiccup said that he had forgiven Camicazi. "Good morning everyone."
"So is Dad up?" Hiccup asked.
"He's rough housing with the cats. We got back from checking on Thorando, Bing, Bang, Boom and Skullcrusher."
"Who?" all but Hiccup asked.
"After I rescued Toothless, we took him to an aquarium with Cloudjumper, we where discussing the possibility of getting a pet for my father, even Gobber had one, the lazy pit bull Grump. Dad noticed that a male manta ray was attacking the care-takers, it turned out he was protecting an injured female, his apparent mate. Dad was also the only one that was able to calm the male so that the care-takers were able to do what they needed to help the female. That day he purchased both and got them their own tank and everything. He named the male Thorando because and I quote 'he has the power of Thor and as fierce as a tornado.' Sadly the female died but not after giving Thorando three sons, they are very noisy, especially for manta rays, and thus they were named Bing, Bang and Boom. About a week after Thorando and his mate became members of the family, Dad went to the zoo, and before anyone could talk him out of it, he become the proud owner of a black rhino with a temper much like his own and Thorando', thus Skullcrusher joined the family. Its worth noting that Skullcrusher also gets along ever well with Eret and even to the point that he allows Eret to ride him." Hiccup told the story.
"I was able to talk Stoick out of bring all them here and install the housing needed for them. Not that we cannot afford it, but where Thorando, Bing, Bang, Boom and Skullcrusher are is best for them." Valka said as she took a set. "Gobber and Eret will be joining us, along with Grump."
"As long as the pets aren't … we going to have Hookfang, Barf & Belch here as well aren't we?" Hiccup asked.
"Yes, there will be another, Heather has a woodpecker called Stokehead." Ruffnut informed.
"Well as long as Dad and Eret don't..." Hiccup started and then he noticed a weak smile from his mother that said 'um about that'. "Please tell me they aren't bringing..." Hiccup clearly pleaded.
"Hekkrulf, son, you inherited your progressiveness, understanding soul and scientific mind from me, but your stubbornness is an inexperienced version of your father's. Also the parents of all your acquiesces will be coming." Valka tried to explain. Hiccup's head came down on the table with a thud. "Sorry son, but it looks like its going to be an outdoor party." Valka said. Hiccup could only whimper it was clear that he hoped for a quite intimate night with Astrid.
"There, there, Babe. It will all be alright. I'll find a way for us to be alone so you can sarnie me with 'Auld Land Syne'" Astrid said petting her husband.
"Oh... I forgot its your first New Years Eve as a husband and wife. Excuse me everyone." Valka said as she got up and opened the back door. "Stoick, dear, tell Bertha that the party will be at his place, well actually the theater house and Hiccup and Astrid will catch up just before midnight." Valka's tone was calm and unassuming but carried with a divine authority that Stoick did not question as he stopped rough housing with the cats and came in to make a few calls. "Camicazi, sorry for the change of plans, but we are going to have to have the party at your mother's place."
"Don't worry. She was planning for a big party this year, but the troop members agreed to do their own things this year. Now her efforts won't go to waste. See you all later." Camicazi said and left."
"I better get going to, catch you later Fishlegs." Ruffnut and headed out as well.
"Dr. Haddock, Dr. Haddock, Mayor-Governor Haddock, Mrs. Haddock..." Fishlegs began his a dues.
"Ms. Hofferson, I kept my name, nothing against the Haddocks, its just that I am still a Hofferson and no woman in the Hofferson line took on her husband's family name for the last ten generations and its a tradition I am keeping." Astrid corrected.
"Sorry, Astrid. Well good day to you all." Fishlegs said and headed out. Hiccup finally raised his head.
"You okay, Babe?" Astrid asked still petting her husband.
"I cannot do a public singing. If its just you, you will have a good laugh if I go tone-deaf, but a public fiasco would just... I cannot do it." Hiccup said. "Honestly I don't know why you're usually so adamant against being pet, you know it calms you as its correctly calming me." the last bit was clearly a commentary on Astrid's refusal to admit how much she likes being pet.
"I am Astrid Hofferson, no one pets Astrid Hofferson." Astrid replied.
"I pet you." Hiccup retorted calling Astrid out
"You're the exception. But don't push your lu... are you purring?" Astrid question in utter confusion as she thought she heard a sound coming from Hiccup, it was the closest thing a human male could produce to a purr. Hiccup nodded. "Well its a little late to return you."
"Hey..." Hiccup commented a little annoyed.
Later that day, around 8pm that night, at the theater house all of Astrid's and Hiccup's family and friends where there for the New Years Eve party, safe Eret, Hiccup and Astrid where the last to arrive. Astrid had managed to convince Hiccup to preform 'Auld Lang syne' with Stoick in front of everyone. All the animals were at their owner's respective place. After the following the niceties and such for the gather at 11pm Stoick and Hiccup took the center of the room. "Everyone, there is an old Haddock tradition, one of two, that the youngest couple sing the whole of 'Auld Lang Syne' on New Year's Eve before the count-down. Gobber could you give the starting note." Stoick said taking command of the room as only he could. Gobber did as requested.
"Should auld acquiescence be forgot, and never brought to mind." Hiccup started, he actually had the confidence to do it "Should auld acquaintance be forgot and auld lang syne?" Hiccup paused and continued to the chorus. "For auld lang syne, my jo, for auld lang syne, we'll tak' a cup o' kindess yer, for auld lang syne."
Astrid then started the second verse "And surely ye';ll be your pint-stoup! And surely I'll be mine! And we'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet for auld lang syne. For auld lang syne, my jo, for auld lang syne, we'll tak' a cup o' kindess yer, for auld lang syne."
Both song the thrid verse together "We twa hae run about the braes, and pou'd the gowans fine; but we we've wander'd mony a weary fir, sin' auld land syne. For auld lang syne, my jo, for auld lang syne, we'll tak' a cup o' kindess yer, for auld lang syne."
Astrid took the forth verse solo "We twa hae paidl'd in the burn, frae morning sun til dine; but seas between us braid hae roar'd sin' auld lang syne. For auld lang syne, my jo, for auld lang syne, we'll tak' a cup o' kindess yer, for auld lang syne."
And Hiccup completed the song. "And there's a hand my trusty fiere! And gie's a hand o' thine! And we'll tak' a right gude-willie waught for auld lang syne. For auld lang syne, my jo, for auld lang syne, we'll tak' a cup o' kindess yer, for auld lang syne." After Hiccup finised he took his wife into his arms and kissed her. "For auld lang syne, my jo." He whispered into Astrid's ear and kissed her again. Aside from that during the party, Ruffnut declared Fishlegs the winner, Snotlout and Heather became a couple, as did Tuffnut and Camicazi, while Eret clearly showed interest in Stoick's secretary(Hiccup couldn't recall her name) and the feeling was mutual. All in all it was a party.
After arriving back home and bidding Valka and Stoick good night, Hiccup and Astrid were alone in their room. They laid next to each other in their bed enjoying just looking into each other's eyes. Finally after a few minutes Hiccup spoke first. "We never really agreed on names or how we are going to prepare for our children?"
"Well for raising them I am getting help and advice from Valka... I don't have any other maternal figure to ask. We'll play it by ear, after reading a few books and talking to our parents. With any luck they will help out." Astrid replied, and took a minute to think on the other part of the question. "I think Hildr Hofferson Haddock would be a nice name for a daddy's little princess and would be better than Henrietta, but for a daughter that is like me, I'll have to say that 'Brunhilde', which you suggested would be perfect. I also have to say that 'Baldr' for a son more like me is the best thing out there, as for a son like you...I got nothing but being the forth Hekkrulf is not fair to him. We'll find a better name, maybe we should ask Valka, Finn and Stoick."
"Hekkrulf Horrendous Haddock III was my mother's idea, I think something like 'Erick Dragon-Slayer' or something around those lines is what I father would have named me. So maybe Finn is the person to ask. But we have at least agreed to three possible names and we seem to be on the same page for raising our children, its a start." Hiccup said as moved a little closer to Astrid to put his arms around her pull her closer to him. Astrid continued the circle resting her head on Hiccup's left side of his neck.
"Say Hiccup, do you ever think about... you know knicker forms of sex?" Astrid asked.
"To be honest such fantasies come to mind and leave ever now and again, but I just let it go, why do you ask?" Hiccup questioned not quit
"Tomorrow night I'd like to try something. Just the one time" Astrid answered.
"Let's call it a night and discuss it tomorrow. I love you, Milady." Hiccup suggested.
"I love you, Babe." Astrid replied and the two finally fell a sleep.