Chapter 10
"Hey, Hodges?" I said, after a long, suspenseful moment. Hodges cleared his throat, and answered me quite kindly.
"Yes, Greg?"
"You didn't tell Sara I was injured, did you?"
"No, Greg…"
I licked my lips and looked away from him, staring down into the innards of my coffee mug. You ever feel like a cloud of sorrow randomly hovers over you, or comes after you have realized, or encountered something? And in trying to remain neutral, you stare out a window, or a random part of a room that you wouldn't normally find yourself staring at?
Well… right now, the mug was my window. The mug was half-empty. Normally, I'd see it as half-full… or would I? Maybe to me, it would always be half-empty.
"I didn't think so…" I sighed heavily. Since Hodges didn't contact Sara someone else should have, but I knew that wasn't the case. My fuel of happiness for the past couple days have been nothing but a placebo, and oh, how much it hurt to figure that out…
"Greg… you okay?" I heard Hodges's voice somewhere in the distance; I knew he was right there in front of me, but he sounded so faint…
"Wh-what?" My eyes slowly moved from my mug to Hodges's worried mug. I heard what he had said, but I was stalling for words to say.
"Are you okay?" he repeated, twice as slow.
"Yeah, Hodges…" I rubbed my forehead, stood up and bolted out the room, "Just fine!"
I know my reaction was a little rude – if not more – but I couldn't stand being there. It was nice of Hodges not to lie to me, but also, not to shove it in my face. But at the same time, I hated him for showing me the truth. I was happy, living the lie, thinking Sara actually knew about my injury, cared about me like the way I cared about her…
I shook my head and realized what room I was in: the broom closet. How the hell did I get in here? I turned around and started marching off in no particular direction at all; I walked pretty far from when I last remember being…
Hodges. Just when I was warming up to the guy, he had to make me cold and bitter. But I shouldn't be taking it out on him. It's not his fault he was dragged into this situation. Speaking of situation…
I rounded a corner – could have sworn I rounded it three times already…
Let's work backwards… before I slipped on the banana peel, I bumped into Grissom, who was oblivious to Nick stealing his French fries. Before that, I was with Nick in the bathroom right after Warrick left, disgusted at him. Before that, I passed Catherine talking about forgeries…
Okay, I definitely did round this corner already. Whatever – just walk it off, Greg. Walk it off.
I would've continued walking at my brisk pace, but there was a rock in my way down the hall.
Oh, no, silly me… it's just Nick.
"Hey, Greggo! My man! How's it going?" He looked up from the files in his hands and grinned a huge, toothy grin. God, it made me sick how happy he looked… how fake he was acting towards me. What was his problem?
I wanted to splash some water into his face, wake him up a little into reality, show him that I'm not a guy to have his feelings messed with. I did not have water on hand, but I had my coffee. Before I knew it, it was all over his shirt, files, and face.
"Whoa!" he yelled out, a little more surprised than angry. He threw his arms to his sides, looked down at his shirt, then over at the drenched files, and then at me. If I were a little less upset, I would be crying over my spilt coffee, my lovely Blue Hawaiian. But, quite frankly, I just didn't care right now, "What the hell was that for?"
"Just a little wake-up call, buddy," I answered, bitterness coating my speech.
"Wha-?"
"Don't act dumb! You think that's my role, remember?" I could feel everyone working in the lab stop and stare at us. I really could care less; I had a bone to pick with Nick.
"Greg? What's the matter with you?" I could feel the heat rising between us as he raised his voice, and no, it wasn't a good heat.
"What's going on here?" Catherine ran into the scene, her eyebrows slanted in a confused way. My eyes darted between her and Nick. I ignored her question, but aimed my answer to Nick's at the both of them.
"What's the matter with me? What's the matter with you guys!" I couldn't believe them; how understanding they are! Oh… someone, give them a medal. Please. "Messing with a guy's feelings. Making him LIVE a LIE."
"Greg… what're you talking about?" Catherine spoke in place of Nick, who was fuming with anger, instead of guilt. I leaned down and pointed my index finger right at her face. Why are they so stubborn! So persistent!
"Don't. Play. Dumb! You did it! You guys set it all up! EVERYTHING. The Hodges, the letter, my hopes!" I think just about everyone in the lab was listening in, now. People in the elevators could probably hear me. Once again, I really could care less, "I don't know HOW you could take my love for Sara and toy with it! What do you think I am? A little puppet? 'Ooh! Let's pull this string! See what he does!' Huh? HUH? 'Let's… watch the little guy hang onto false hope. And then we'll see him fall! Oh, how much fun this game is!' Well I'll tell you now, I've fallen, and I'm not having fun!" My breathing was heavy; my stare, cold. I never felt so much hatred; I felt like a shaken up soda bottle about to burst.
Woop. Spoke too soon. Here they come… I can feel them… the tears.
I stared at Nick and Catherine, more disgusted than how I remember Warrick looking. Look at them… gaping fools. A couple of liars they are, fakes, traitors. Some friends they were…
"… just lay off." I announced in an undertone. Turning around, I made my way back down the hall, sure not to round a corner more than once. People stepped out of my way; silence filled the lab.
I did not want to stay here. No. I was going home. And it would have been smooth sailing from my exit, but Nick had to follow. The jerk.