It's update time! I actually would have updated yesterday if my computer hadn't gotten a virus that took me 8+ hours to fix (I almost lost the next several chapters of this story, I'm so happy I didn't!), so here it is... Chapter 10! This chapter has some roots in the episode, Lake Laogi, and I'm sure you'll pick up on that... well, that's it for my ramblings! =] ENJOY!
She never thought she'd be saying good-bye to her misfit family. There was not a dry eye in sight as the group hugged each other. Katara first hugged Suki, who had been offered an eelhound to get back to Kyoshi Island. The two girls cried and agreed to write often. Katara hugged Toph, who told her to take care of Twinkletoes and Snoozles, the usually strong woman crying. Katara hugged Mai, although they weren't very close. And last, she stared into Zuko's eyes, tears flowing freely.
"I guess this is good-bye then." She glanced at her feet. He wrapped his arms around her in a huge hug and whispered in to her ear.
"I'll miss you Katara." He voice made her shiver and she turned to climb on Appa. Her brother and Aang soon joined her, and when Appa took off and they waved to their friends, Katara could not remove her eyes from the lone firebender while tears streamed down her face.
Zuko watched the trio fly off, the waterbender staring at him over the back of Appa's saddle. His tears continued to flow while he watched them fly off. His girlfriend leaned against him. He was unable to be comforted by her touch.
Zuko and Mai turned to leave on the airship that had arrived to return them to the Fire Nation. They waved to the remaining girls and climbed aboard, settling into their private rooms for the journey home. Zuko couldn't bring himself to leave his room, spending the day lying in bed and picturing the look on Katara's face when they said goodbye.
Mai would bring his food to him, and try to get him to talk to her. But he would turn to the wall and ignore her. His heart was heavy and his guilt too overwhelming for him. By the time they arrived in the Fire Nation, Zuko was very sick. He had barely eaten and Mai had to help him enter the palace.
When his condition didn't improve within a couple of days, Mai decided to send a messenger hawk to Iroh, explaining that he had barely eaten since leaving Omashu, and that the entire trip back he wouldn't leave his room. Iroh sent back he would be arriving shortly to see what he could do for his nephew.
When Iroh arrived, he declined resting and tea and went straight to his nephew's rooms. Zuko was lying on his bed, sweat soaking the sheets. He had been feverish for the past few days, and Iroh wondered what had his spirit so conflicted it caused him to become feverish.
He tended to Zuko for almost a week before the delirium had set in and Iroh was able to learn what bothered the young Firelord. He had almost left the room when he heard Zuko's voice. "Mai, please… It just happened. Katara and I… I don't…" There were only snippets of what bothered him but Iroh understood that it was guilt and a conflict of devotion that plagued the teenager.
"Oh, young love." The old man sighed and returned to the boy's side. "Zuko. You must let go of your guilt. Admit whatever it was to Mai. She is a good, kind girl. You need to tell her. After that, you can sort out whatever feelings you have." He placed a cool cloth on Zuko's forehead and stood to go. Before closing the door, he looked at the figure lying on the bed, whom had grown up too fast and no one seemed to realize he was still a teenager.
The following day Zuko's fever broke. By that evening he was able to eat some liquefied food, although he was very weak. Iroh sat by his nephew's side and when Zuko spilled the entire story of what had happened between him and Katara, going all the way back to their encounter in Ba Sing Se before Azula shot Aang with lightning.
By the end of the story Zuko was crying in his uncle's arms and Iroh stroked his hair, trying to find the right words for this situation. "He who covers his mistakes will make more. Zuko, you are an honorable man. You have weathered more than many men more than twice your age. But you can redeem yourself to Mai." He looked into the young man's eyes. "Zuko, you must correct your mistakes. You are young and deserve to make mistakes. But you are a leader and promised to restore the honor of the Fire Nation. You need to do the honorable thing."
Zuko nodded. "I'll speak with Mai in the morning. I don't want to hurt her again, though."
Iroh looked at the young man. "You are hurting her more by hiding from her. She will one day discover what you have done and that will hurt more than you telling her the truth." He hugged his nephew. "I love you, Zuko. You can do this."
Katara was exhausted. She had helped build a more complex city than the ring of igloos that had existed in her youth. They had built it up and now, she tried to relax. She and Aang had been busy for the past few weeks and now, she just needed to get away. She had her own room in the main building of the village. She stared out the ice window, looking at the moon. "Yue, you understand, don't you? You loved my brother, but you would do your duty to marry another. How could you do it?" She couldn't stay inside.
She snuck out the building where her brother, father and boyfriend slept soundly. She had kissed Aang a few more times but had yet to discover the passion she had found with the fiery, determined sixteen year old. She slipped down to the waterside and hid in a small cavern under the cliff. Once there, she slipped off her undergarments. She glanced around again and slid up her skirt. She bent some water into a steady stream and directed it at her core.
She gasped as she bucked into the water. She closed her eyes as she did her best to keep the water steady against her. She pictured Zuko, the images from their time on the ship ingrained in her memory. She could feel her body heat up as she thought about him over her, kissing her and fondling her. She could remember how unsure she was of his size when she had felt how long and stiff he was against her thigh, but how wonderful it felt for him to be in her.
She started gasping for air as her climax took her and she murmured the firebender's name over and over until the spasms subsided. She suddenly felt cold as the air blew over the exposed skin and she quickly covered herself up. She curled her knees up to her chin and cried, knowing how many people she had done wrong by stealing those precious moments with Zuko.
Katara didn't know who she could talk to about this. She wished her mother was here. Mom. Katara touched her necklace. You would be so disappointed in me. I've messed up so much! I don't know what to do. I wish I could talk to you about all of this. I was so young when you were taken from me and Gran Gran didn't discuss love much. I miss you, Mom!
Katara sat there until the sun rose that morning. Exhausted, she made her way back to her home and crawled in the bed. Hakoda and Aang checked in on her regularly, and Sokka assumed she had just been overworked. None of the them could imagine the truth.