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Lucas Scott was afraid. He sat in his kitchen with two boxes on the table. He was afraid.

"What are you doing up so late," he asked as his mother walked into the kitchen. They were staying with him while in town for Mouth's wedding, and tonight he was thankful.

"Just not too tired," she said. She got a glass of water and stood beside Lucas, "what's with the boxes?"

"When I took Brooke and Keithan home," he smiled at her, "thank you for that by the way."

"You're quite welcome," she said sitting across from her son, "how did it go?"

"Good, I think," he hesitated, "I mean we talked some, and she gave me these boxes."

"And what are these boxes?"

"This," he said placing his hand on the blue box, "this is Brooke's, stuff from her pregnancy, and when he was born. This," placing his hand on the floral box, "was Peyton's. She gave it to Brooke for me if something happened, Peyton made it for me and the baby."

"I see," Karen said, watching her son, seeing the pain in his face, "so have you opened them?"

"No," he sighed. The truth was Lucas Scott wasn't sure he wanted to open the boxes. "I can't, you know, it's been hard for me, this last year being alone and angry, hurt, and now that I've got Keithan and Brooke," Karen smiled at that, at his wording, "I mean having Keithan, it's just the greatest feeling in the world. I look at him and I see so much, I see my life and being happy again, but then there's this."

"Peyton was a part of your life," Karen said as she watched Lucas run his hand over the lid of the floral box, "Lucas, she was your wife, even if it was for a day, and you two were going to have a child and a life together."

"It's hard," he said.

"I know, but it is a part of your past, you can't erase it, it's always going to be there," she said taking his hand, "then you have this, and this, this is your future Lucas," she said placing her hand on the blue box. "Keithan is your son, he is the most important thing in your life, and along with that comes Brooke. I know that you two have a complicated history, but this is your future and I think you know that."

"I sometimes wonder why things happened like this," he said, "you know me being with Peyton. And I know that sounds horrible, it makes me seem as bad as Dan. But, I wanted Brooke to be happy, and if me being that guy, being with Peyton really made her happy, that's what I did. And now here I am, stuck."

"Lucas you're not stuck, you don't have to be."

"I'm afraid of this, all of it. Peyton's gone," he ran his hands through his hair, "she's gone and that part of my life is gone. I don't want to pretend it didn't happen, that it didn't matter, but I'm afraid that this," he said pushing the floral box further away, "will hurt where I'm at right now."

"That it will hurt Brooke?"

"Yeah," he sighed, "I am afraid that it will hurt her, and Mom, I don't want to hurt her. Tonight was amazing, being able to be there, together, with Keithan. For us to be able to talk, to put him to bed together, it's just I don't want to make things worse. I want to move forward and give Keithan everything, and I want to be ok with Brooke."

"Well, Brooke knows that you have a past with Peyton, Lucas, and I'm sure that whatever is in this box isn't going to change things. Brooke wants what any mother wants, she wants her son to be happy and loved. She knows you love him, Lucas, so she's not taking him away, I don't think she's going anywhere."

"It's not that," he said, "I just don't want her to feel guilty about our son."

"Lucas, why on Earth would she? The two of you are adults, and honey Peyton died, Luke, you have the right, you have to be able to move on. You can't live in mourning forever, believe me I know that." Karen Roe was a woman who understood the loss and pain of losing the person you love, but she also knew that you could move on, that you could fall in love again. "You will be ok, Lucas, you have an amazing son," she said kissing his head, "and you and Brooke are going to be ok. So, if you want to, open the boxes, Lucas, open them and remember your past and where you've been. Then you look at your life, what you have right in front of you and what you really want and you focus on that. You focus on your son and yourself," she smiled, "and the family you want to have, the life you want to have. And if you don't want to open them, don't."

"This," he said as he placed his hand on the blue box, "doesn't scare me. I want to know what is in here, I want to know everything, I need to. But this," he said looking at the floral box, "this is the past that's gone. Peyton's gone and the guy I was then is gone. Brooke wanted me to have this because she feels bad I think, she feels like she's betrayed Peyton somehow, but she didn't. I mean Peyton and I were the ones who hurt her, who betrayed her. I just don't know that I want to see what's here, that I want to remember it. Is that bad, does that make me horrible?"

"No, I don't think it does, son. I think you need to focus on the life you want now, the life you want for yourself and your son. And if that box and its contents won't help you move towards that, then you shouldn't open it. But, I think for you to move on, to move forward, for you to be able to open your heart Lucas, you need to. You need to face your past and the choices you've made, the hurt that you've felt, and that you've caused," she said, "you are the only one who knows what is right for you."

"Thanks," he said as she started to walk away, "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." Lucas let out a sigh as he sat alone in the kitchen with the two boxes. He looked at the floral box. That box was full of a life that could have been, but was no more. Peyton was gone, the child they had was gone. The past was the past, and Lucas didn't think that what was in that box could help him. He didn't want to remember, sometimes it made him feel horrible, worse than Dan, but other times he knew it was best for him. The life he and Peyton had was gone.

The small blue box made him have hope. He knew that he and Brooke were far from good, but the two of them shared a son, this beautiful, wonderful boy. They would always be connected because of Keithan. That made him smile, thinking about his son and Brooke. The last two months had been amazing, getting to spend time with his son, but this night, being able to spend time with Keithan and Brooke was so much more. Lucas knew that his relationship with Brooke had been over for many years, but he had hope. He opened the box, he found sonogram pictures, each with how far along Brooke was written on them. He found pictures of her belly as her pregnancy progressed. He sifted through notes and sketches. There was a tiny bib that said "I love my daddy" on and it made him small. There were several snap shots, mostly of Keithan, some with Brooke. Lucas wiped his eyes as he continued to look over the contents of the box. He got to the bottom of the box and there was an envelope with his name on it.

Dear Lucas,

I had my sonogram today. I wanted to call you, I even dialed your number, but I couldn't do it. I can't. I don't know what to say to you. I mean this is the biggest thing in my world, I am pregnant, and today I found out it's a boy. Your boy, our boy. I wish you were here, or I was there. I know that's crazy, Luke, I do. You and Peyton were married and you were going to have a life together. I know you stopped loving me a long time ago. It's funny, lately I've been thinking a lot about that night in New York, when you found out the book was getting published. That was one of the best nights of my life. I thought about Angie the other day. I was working on my sketches and it made me think of that night I came to your house. Luke you were so good with her. I know you would be an amazing dad, the best. I'm just so afraid of hurting you. You were supposed to have this life with Peyton and now she's gone, they both are. I wish I could be strong enough to tell you, to let you know that you are going to be a dad, but I'm afraid. Julian has been so supportive. He wants me to tell you, he says you need to know. He's right, but it doesn't make it any easier. He loves me, I think he does, I know he loves this baby already. That kills me to know that you think this baby is his, but I don't know how to undo this. I don't know what to do anymore. I love you Lucas Eugene Scott and I always will. Someday I will bring him to you, to Tree Hill, to let you know him, because that's what I want. I want him to be loved, to know that he is loved. I want him to know you and your family. That is the one thing I can never give him, a family like yours, afamily that I once thought I would be a part of. I want that life we talked about in New York, two and a girl, and I want it all with you. I'm afraid, but hopefully someday I won't be, someday I'll be able to tell you everything. God, that day I told you to go to Peyton at our state championship game, that was the hardest thing, but I needed you both to be happy, even if it nearly killed me. I will always love you even though when you find out about this baby, our son, you will never forgive me. I am coming to terms with that. It's hard, knowing that you'll never be able to forgive me, to love me, to let me be in your life, but that's the choice I made when I came here, to L.A. with Julian. He wanted me to stay, as much as he loved me, he wanted me to stay, to tell you about the baby. I miss you, every day, I miss you so much. I feel this baby kick, and I think about when he'll be born. I wish you knew, sometimes I wish Julian could've told you instead, he wanted to, but I couldn't let him. I'm sorry and someday I hope you can forgive me Lucas. I will always love you, and I know you will love our son even if you hate me. I am naming him Keithan. Keithan James Scott. I want his name to mean something, and that name means a lot to me and I hope you will like it. Keith was so important to you, and to your mom and Lily. Nathan is your brother, and he's my friend, and Haley is my best friend and Jamie is our godson. So when he asks me someday who he was named after I will be proud to tell him he was named after hid great uncle Keith, his uncle Nathan, his aunt Haley and cousin Jamie, and that Scott is his daddy's last name. I hope someday you can understand the choices I've made, and I hope someday that you'll forgive me. But most of all I hope you don't let your hatred for me mask your love for him.

Brooke

Lucas wiped his eyes. God, had he been blind? Had he really missed out on this life, their son, all of it because he was an ass? He wanted to run to her, to tell her that he loved her too, that he had never stopped. He wanted her to know that every day he was with Peyton was for her, that he wanted her to be happy so he lived the life she wanted him to have. He folded the letter back up and placed it inside the envelope. The pain was still there. The pain in his heart, the pain from not being by her side, holding her hand when their son was born. He was angry still, as much as he loved her still, the anger and hurt, the frustration, all of it was still there. Lucas Scott wanted to be a father, he wanted to share their child and be there, together, for everything, but it would take time. He couldn't forgive and forget, not overnight. So he placed everything in the box, placed the lid on it and reached for his cell phone. He scrolled to Brooke's name. It was too late to call, so he sent a text. A simple text to the mother of his son.

Thank you, Brooke.

He took the blue box in his bedroom. He opened his closet and turned on the light. He reached to the top shelf and placed this box with another box from Brooke. A box that contained her letters to him. He shut the light off and closed the door with a slight smile on his face. Lucas Scott knew that even though he wasn't ready to forgive her yet, someday he would. Someday he would be able to look at her and their son and tell her that he loved her, that he wanted this life, with her and Keithan and another boy and a little girl just like her. Someday.

He walked into his kitchen, the floral box still sitting on the table. He picked it up and carried it with him. He looked at the time, it was nearly two in the morning, but he didn't care. He went to his car. Lucas Scott wanted to let go of the past, he wanted to let go of what might have been, what could have been. He wanted to let go of Peyton and that part of his life. Of course he would always love Peyton, but that box was nothing more than sad memories of a life that he wasn't meant to live. He found himself stopped on the bridge. He got out of his Mustang and walked to the side of the bridge, looking over into the river. He didn't even open the box, he didn't look at the contents, he didn't wonder what was in there. He held the box over the edge and with tears in his eyes he let go. He let go of that hurt and pain, that sadness and regret. Lucas Scott let go of his past, he let go of Peyton, "goodbye Peyton," he whispered as the box splashed in the water below.