"Happy Birthday to you!"
Evie's cheeks are tinged a light pink as they puff out like a chipmunk while sucking in a deep breath. She pauses for a moment as she thinks about her wish once again. She harshly exhales out her held breath, blowing out the eight candles scattered around the purple decorated cake.
We all clap and shout out words of encouragement ultimately deepening the shade painted across my daughter's cheeks. We all take turns kissing the top of Evie's head before I pull the cake away to slice pieces for everyone.
"What did you wish?" Henry interrogates learning across the table on his elbows into Evie, with a Cheshire Cat like grin.
Evie giggles whipping her long raven tresses all around her face. "No! I can't tell, it won't come true!"
"Says who?" Henry demands an answer but his giggle is too adorable to take seriously.
Evie's head bobs left and right as she leans forward, connecting the tips of their noses forcing both their eyes to double in size. They both are giggling but neither one is backing down.
My eyes flick to Emma, who's watching the playful banter with so much love, she might as well be that emoji with big hearts for eyes. My heart swells just witnessing how happy she is in this moment. I shake my head to wipe away those nagging thoughts and focus on cutting the cake.
"It's a rule I swear!" Evie professes but I think Henry's just interested in teasing her at this point and not truly paying attention to her explanation.
"There's no wish genie that won't let that come true if you tell me."
"There could be!"
"Nuh-uh!" Henry laughs as he wiggles his freckled nose against Evie's.
"Alright bug, back it up," Ivy sternly says as she pulls the two goofballs apart. "And squirt," the younger woman eyes Henry carefully. "It is the law. No wish spoilers."
Emma and I chuckle to ourselves as I finish cutting the cake and the blonde passes out the dishes.
"What's with the cheap slices Regina?" Ruby heckles as she presses into my side. "You know I love my sugar." I roll my eyes at my childlike ex and add another slice to her plate. "Thank you."
She presses her ruby red lips to my cheek and makes a show of smacking her lips. I hear and audible gulp that sounds awfully strangled. My eyes bounce from Ivy to Emma and I know it's not the brunette. Ruby's wife is accustomed to this display of affection between us and I know it doesn't bother her the least bit. I glance through my eyelashes at the blonde who has her thumbs tucked securely in her back pockets.
I smirk to myself knowing she was the culprit of the awkward gulp. I decide to play with this woman just a little more. I press my index finger against the cold metal knife. In a tantalizing manner I drag my finger across the flat blade. Slowly I scoop the icing off the end and pop my finger into my mouth. I don't dare look at the woman who's eyes are blatantly upon me. My finger drags obnoxiously slow out of my mouth with a pop.
If I'm not mistaken I heard a whimper that was attempted to be hidden behind a rather fake cough. I fight back my own laughter and busy myself with eating my piece of cake. My entire body tingles as I keep my eyes strained onto the dessert. I can feel those intense green eyes studying my every move, criticizing or adoring, I'm not sure so I choose to ignore her. Ignore the beating in my heart. Ignore the longing of delicate skin against mine.
A sudden cringeworthy, scraping of a chair against my hardwood floors startles me back to reality.
"We have to get going Eves," Ruby announces pressing a loving kiss to our daughter's temple. Ivy follows her wife's previous action and smiles.
"Happy birthday bug. We love you."
"Love you too," Evie beams with purple frosting coating her lips.
I walk my ex and her wife to the door and say our routine goodbye with our typical hugs and kisses. When I return to the kitchen, both children have disappeared leaving Emma alone with her phone. When she notices my presence she stuffs the device into her back pocket.
Her eyes lock onto mine and she smiles but there's something in that grin that's all wrong. It seems forced and doesn't quite shine as bright as I know she's capable of. I smile in return and begin clearing the plates around the table. As I reach for Emma's dessert I pause and retract my hand.
"Emma, you didn't want any cake?" I investigate leaning down onto the table to catch her eyes.
"Nah," she waves off the plate and scrunches up her nose. "I'm starting a new diet, but I would love some coffee if you have some." She averts her eyes while pushing back her chair. The blonde stretches forward and helps clear the plates and dirty napkins.
"Of course I have coffee," I lightly laugh at the assumption that I wouldn't and stroll toward the coffee pot. "So tell me about this new diet. I've seen you in shorts and a tank top and I know there's no need for a diet."
"No I have to," she quickly replies. I furrow my eyebrows at the woman as I whip around by her knee jerk reaction. She barely gave me a chance to finish my statement before she was snapping back her reply. "It's about time I start training for the Ironman's again. It's been far too long."
Emma sweeps through the kitchen and dumps all the garbage into the bin. I accept her answer understanding where her mind might be right now. I turn toward the counter and pour two mugs full of coffee. I slide one cup over to Emma and motion for her to follow me.
I pad through my kitchen with Emma hot on my heels. I lead the way into my family room and take a seat on my couch. I tuck my feet beneath my bottom and face the center of the couch. Emma sits down on the other side, crisscrossing her long legs as she faces me. We both take a sip of our coffee, wrapping our fingers tightly around the warm mugs.
"So I know you have been wondering about Killian, so let me explain."
"Emma if you feel uncomfort-"
"No, I want to tell you," she declares and the sincere smile gracing her face lets me know she really means it. I smile and nod, encouraging her to continue. "So the reason I stopped participating in Ironman's was because of Killian." I swallow thickly and keep my eyes focused on hers. "I had a lot of hate weighing me down and Killian suggested we channel that into something positive. We started working out regularly, eating healthier and soon we were training for small marathons."
Those beautiful green eyes charge with a burst of energy and excitement. I find myself leaning forward intrigued to uncover more of her past.
"Not long after, marathons were too easy. We were young and in shape." Sparkling emeralds dance at the old memory of an easier life. "We were annihilating the competition." I lean closer, her magnetic energy surging my body forward. "So on a dare from an old friend, we trained for our first Ironman." She breathes out a small laugh at the thought while shaking her head. "We completed the triathlon."
"First time?" I gasp in surprise.
"Yup!" She proudly announces. "Eleven fifty eight."
"What?" I ask not really understanding the significance of the number.
"We completed two minutes before midnight. Two minutes before we would have been disqualified."
We both burst into laughter. Emma's laughter from an old memory, the outrageousness of just barely qualifying the triathlon while I was laughing from the sound of her laugh, the joy emitting from her body was too contagious not to join in.
"At least you completed it."
"Right?" Emma flashes me the most adorably crooked smile while she shifts upon the couch, inching her way closer to me. "So after that, Killian and I were on this high. We had to do it again but this time, we would train harder and smarter. We knew what we are up against now and had a better grasp on the concept." There's a static buzz of electricity rapidly coursing between us and I find myself consumed by her every word. "So then our second Ironman."
Something feels off. The buzz radiating from the woman vanishes. Green eyes turn stone cold. Her bright smile fades, morphing into a deep frown. She sighs dragging her mug to her lips, she's about to take a sip but she hesitates. All the color drains from her face and she leans over the couch to set her mug down. My stomach starts coiling into a painful twisted knot.
"Our second Ironman," she breathes out and fumbles with her fingertips, refusing to make eye contact. "The swimming portion, we breezed through. The bicycle part, we laughed and we teased one another. We weren't even breathing heavy." She struggles to swallow and drops her voice to barely a whisper. "When we began running, we knew we weren't going to be able to stay together. We promised to run at our own pace and we would see each other at the end." Her voice cracks, allowing all her emotions to seep to the surface. "I knew he was faster than I was and he could end up finishing within the top ten ranks. I knew if he gave it his all he would be finishing around the eleven hour mark."
"Emma," I struggle to force her name from my lips but she ignores her name and continues on.
"God Regina, I wasn't even there."
Thick tears build, clinging to her green orbs, refusing to fall for the man she mourns yet again. Emma tilts her head back hoping to contain those emotions from spilling over the edge. My hand shoots out without a second thought. I rest my hand on top of her hands that are picking and clawing at her fingers to help ease the ache in her heart.
"You don't have-"
L
"I finished the Ironman in thirteen hours, twenty three minutes and fifty four seconds." The harshest sound of an audible gulp stretches between us. "For two hours and twenty four minutes, he was alone. Killian finished the Ironman in ten hours and fifty nine minutes. Four minutes after he finished, he collapsed." I tighten my hold on the woman to keep her together but I know it's useless as I watch a single tear slide down her flushed cheek. "They rushed him to the hospital but I didn't have a cell phone on me." I watch, I watch as the tears finally win and stream down her face, following down the path they know all too well by now.
"Emma, I'm so-"
"I was so angry. I was furious. I crossed the finish line on cloud nine. I searched for my husband, bursting at the seams to jump in his arms and celebrate our amazing accomplishment but he was nowhere to be found. I was so fucking pissed off, I assumed he went to grab a drink with someone and lost track of time. Until someone tapped me on the shoulder and delivered the second worst news I have ever heard. The gentleman explained Killian had collapsed and they rushed him to the hospital. Killian told an employee my number and said please tell my wife I'm so proud of her."
"Emma," I whimper and place my coffee on the floor.
I pull the woman into my arms and hold her close, pushing all my worry about if this hug is appropriate or not aside. Emma doesn't hesitate, she melts into my embrace, molding perfectly into my arms.
"Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy," Emma mutters against my chest. Her hot tears soak through my shirt while she takes a few deep breaths to calm herself.
"What?"
"Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, that's what Killian passed away from. When I finally arrived at the hospital the doctor met me in the hall and delivered the worst news I have ever heard in my life. It was a heart condition that neither of us knew he had. It's something that commonly goes undetected and is a common cause for death in athletes under thirty."
"Emma, I'm so so sorry. I could only imagine how traumatizing that could have been for you," I whisper as I keep my arms securely locked around her torso. I just want to take her pain away. I want her to feel safe again.
"It's been four years and I just...I'm trying so hard...I need to train again. I'm not in shape like I was before. I need to get back there. Henry didn't quit baseball, so why should I quit my marathons?"
"Children are sometimes more resilient, especially at such a young age."
"No, I'm making excuses. My body's not the same, I know it. I can't let myself go."
"Emma, you are far from letting yourself go. Other mom's would kill to have a body like yours," I say with conviction hoping to bring her out of her slump. Instead she pulls away, wiping at her nose and eyes, clearing the mess she has created.
"I'm lucky I have Jack, who loves us and is there for us, even when I'm a mess," Emma snorts while motioning to herself. My stomach does a backflip at the mention of her boyfriend so I choose not to reply. I don't want to upset her anymore with a snarky, mostly likely very rude comment. Emma straightens her posture and forces a safe distance between us. "You know Jack has known Henry since he was born. Killian and Jack started working together right before Henry was born."
I furrow my eyebrows and think back to my conversation with the boyfriend. Maybe I misunderstood but he made it sound like he had been Killian's best friend for a very long time.
Emma reaches for her coffee and takes a sip. Without a word she reaches for my coffee while standing up from the couch. I blink away my thoughts and eye the woman carefully.
"What are you doing?"
"The coffee is cold now, I'm going to warm it up," she offers me a genuine smile before she leaves the room.
Why does she have to be so sweet? It's infuriatingly distracting.
I should be devastated with the information she finally opened up about but then she had to go and be all adorable, kind and giving, forcing my heart to beat a little faster yet again. I hate how quickly I turn to mush for this woman. I used to be strong willed and never really face planted into crushes, besides Ruby.
"I hope I didn't bring you down too much," Emma shyly squeaks out as she enters the family room once again. She hands over the hot mug and reclaims her seat across from me on the couch.
"Thank you," I murmur while accepting the mug. I take a small sip and breathe in the calming sensation of steam rising off the top. "And don't be silly. You didn't bring me down, I'm so happy you finally told me the story."
She bobs her head in response and I can already see that she's building those walls up again around her past. The woman straightens her posture while her eyes refuse to meet mine. Emma's done speaking on the subject and she's making her point very clear.
"So as I was saying before I left," Emma takes a tiny sip of her coffee and smiles kindly. "I'm lucky Jack had always been around Henry. Henry feels comfortable around him and who knows what other assholes are out there. I'm sure most men don't want to take on a widow and her son."
"I'm sure it's hard but I guarantee there's other people out there that would love to be with you and Henry."
"Are you offering?" Emma playfully smirks over the rim of her coffee mug.
"Yes, but mostly because I adore your son and I need manners like his in my household."
Emma barks out a laugh just after she finished swallowing her drink. She's lucky that beverage didn't end up all over my couch or me for that matter.
"You're so uptight."
"I am not," I scoff and roll my eyes.
"I can't wait for the day you end up crosseyed from rolling those damn things all the time."
I hum a joyous sound while sipping my coffee. Emma's eyes are locked onto me as a faint smile slips across her lips. This could just be my own blind lust for the woman talking, but I believe I see adoration in her eyes.
"I believe," Emma teasingly suggests as she scoots a little further into my space. "You still owe me an explanation about you and Ruby..."
"Mmm," I pull the coffee mug from my lips and nod remembering she had more questions for me last time we were together alone. I place my mug down and offer the woman my full attention. "What was it that you were wondering?"
"How come you and Ruby rushed so quickly into having Evie?" Emma's eyes are watching me intently, letting me know she's interested in this topic.
"Yes, well Ruby and I weren't very rational thinkers back then. I would like to say we have both grown up a lot since then." I chuckle softly briefly reminiscing in my mind of our wild and crazy parties in college.
"I think that's a fair statement now that I am getting to know you both better. Honestly, I don't see you as the irrational, wild one. You pack celery as snacks."
I refrain from rolling my eyes knowing the blonde will put her two scents in on the action. I purse out my lips trying to seem offended but truthfully I'm hiding a giddy grin.
"Anyways," I trail on resuming my explanation. "After we graduated, we had mistaken four years of hot, drunken sex as head over heels in love. We married right away and life around us sobered up. Suddenly, we were married at twenty two and real life problems surrounded us. Honestly, it scared both of us but neither one said anything." Emma's nodding along like she not only understands what I'm explaining but maybe she's been there too. "So, we thought, 'this is married life but it will get better, just wait until we have children and we are a happy little family'."
"So you pushed to have Evie?"
"Yes. We were so dumb to think a child would fix our marriage. On some level, I thought if we created a family together, maybe that would make me love Ruby in a different way, in the way I thought I loved her."
"That makes sense," Emma replies leaning a little further into my space.
She rests her upper body against the back of the couch and peers up at me with those big doe eyes. My heart flutters at the light dust of freckles scattered across her nose. I take a deep breath to clear my wandering thoughts but I don't even think about backing away.
"I didn't want my marriage to end and neither did Ruby because we genuinely did love each other and cared for one another, we still do."
"Well that much is obvious from how you two still interact."
I hum quietly as I think maybe the blonde is slightly jealous. She did make an awkward, strenuous gulp when Ruby pecked my cheek.
"After three years, we knew we couldn't continue trying. We stopped sleeping together and we became roommates raising a child together."
"I'm sorry, even though I know you two are happy now, I know it still hurt."
"It did," I shift to mirror Emma's image, leaning into the back of the couch. Our knees gently bump together but Emma doesn't shy away. Her warmth is pulsating deliciously from her body. The sensation is so alluring I find myself leaning in even further. "But I'm so happy we didn't stay together just for Evie's sake. I know we would have ended up resenting one another."
"I think that's pretty amazing of you guys," she whispers, releasing a puff of warm air to brush against my lips. Instinctively my tongue pokes out to swipe across my dry lips. Emma's green eyes seem to be taken over by the golden specks before they drift down to where my tongue just peeked through. My heart brutally hammers against my sternum causing me to struggle for my next breath. "Regina?"
"Hmmm?"
"Mom!" Henry and Evie scream as they both come charging into the room.
Emma and I jump apart as if we were both electrocuted. My breathing is harsher than moments ago and Emma's gasping for her next breath. Henry and Evie jump into our laps and giggle uncontrollably about something Emma and I are clueless too. We each wrap our own child tightly in our arms but our eyes remain locked.
"This is the best birthday ever!" Evie declares through a fit of giggles.