I picked up a chair for Nagato and waited until she finished crying. Nagato, what's wrong? What do you need to tell me that you're so afraid about?
"It... it wasn't Suzumiya Haruhi..."
Huh?
"It wasn't Suzumiya Haruhi... it... it was..."
What? It wasn't her what? I don't get it...
"Everything... we told you about Suzumiya Haruhi... her powers... recreating the world..."
Nagato looked at me with her teary eyes and said something I would never forget.
"Suzumiya Haruhi's powers... they... they were yours all the time!"
Her... powers? Mine? You're joking, right?
Nagato shook her head after looking down at the table.
"Alright, this is some very sick joke!" I shouted, standing up. "Asakura, you made her say that, didn't you? Just how much pain do you want her to go through? Nagato, why are you doing this?"
Before I could react, I was smaked so hard that I fell down to the floor. The smack came from Asakura's palm.
"NO, IT'S NOT A JOKE, YOU ASSHOLE!!!"
This was the first time that I really saw Asakura get mad. And this confused me even more.
"YES! SHE SAID THE TRUTH! How much more time do you want to be in denial? Another 595 years? Yes, they were YOUR powers! Why do you keep doing this!"
"Doing what? What... what are you talking about?"
I looked at Nagato, who kept crying on the table, and at Kimidori-san, who just shook her head in disappointment. "Kimidori-san, I don't understand. What the hell is she talking about?"
Kimidori-san sighed. "Kyon-kun, please take a seat."
I slowly took a seat. I really wanted this to be a sick joke, but their expressions told me it wasn't a joke at all. To be honest, this scared me more than that giant cave cricket. Even more than Asakura's knife.
"Kyon-kun... you may not remember.... or actually, want to remember, but... the one who gave Suzumiya-san her powers... was you."
"What?"
"Kyon-kun, we're 100% sure that the source of Suzumiya-san's powers is you. But, there is no way of proving it. At least, not to you. Some of us believe that you don't want to face the responsibility of carrying this power, so you gave it to Suzumiya-san, so you could blame it all on her. But then again... it's only a theory."
"I..."
I couldn't believe this. "Nagato, " I said, before shutting up. I was going to tell her. "This is a joke, right?" but seeing her crying like that... made me want to rephrase.
"Nagato... please tell me the truth. Is it... really true?"
Nagato wiped the tears from her eyes. She looked at me briefly, and then she looked down again. "I'm... sorry... it's true. I... just didn't know how to tell you..."
Then she looked at me again, and said: "You don't believe me, do you?"
Aw, Nagato, don't look at me with those eyes!
She spoke again. "I'm sorry... I guess you weren't ready yet..."
I didn't know how to answer that, so I just stayed silent and scratched my neck. How did this happen? Why did this have to happen? How could I bring this girl that I cared so much about, to tears?
"Nagato I... I..."
I didn't know what to say. I hugged her. "I'm sorry, Nagato, I... I'm still not sure of what to believe in, but I trust you. I just... need some time..."
This was too much to bear. If what she said was true, then I was the one who made her suffer those 15498 iterations of time. It wasn't Haruhi, but me. This is... this is too much! But why would she lie? Why?
A lot of questions invaded my mind. If I really had these powers, where did they come from? Who gave them to me? And I certainly was sure I was not "god", or "a god". I was sure there was something else. But no matter how much I tried to think about it, something still felt wrong. Maybe... maybe when I go back everything will become clear.
I looked at Nagato again. She looked so hurt and vulnerable... what should I say in this case?
Should I really believe her? Why would she lie? But I wouldn't dare not trust her. She's saved my life numerous times... she even created this world for me. And even more important... she trusted me. Completely. So much that she...
I remembered her when she was blushing, and smiling at me under the bedsheets. Is this karma? I saw her smile, and now I had to see her cry?
Come on, you idiot! What are you waiting for! Do what a man has to do!
"Um... Nagato..." I said, while touching her hand. She seemed surprised that I did that, while looking at me. She seemed afraid, but not afraid of me... just... afraid.
"I... can we..."
What are you doing, you idiot! Just hug her!
"I'm sorry, Nagato!" I shouted, while hugging her. "I'm sorry..."
She hugged me back. She only said two words in a low voice.
"Thank you..."
Kimidori-san had interrupted us.
"Kyon-kun, can we speak for a moment, in private?"
"Uh? Okay..."
We got out of the room.
"Well?"
One word was all that I needed to understand. She wanted to know my opinion on all what had just happened.
"I guess I need more time... it was too sudden."
"I know. I guess I won't be asking if you want to go back, because that decision is taken. Am I right?"
"Yes."
"Well, I guess that's all we need to speak for now. When we return, you'll have all the time you want to think about this."
I sighed. "You're right."
We got back to the room, and I was delighted to see the fragile little girl smiling again.
"Are you feeling better, Nagato?"
She nodded.
"Well," said Kimidori-san. "I think this is settled for now. I'll call Suzumiya-san and see how she's doing. Do you have the CD and the USB?"
"Oh! Let me check." I opened my schoolbag, and the CD was there alright.
"Please wear the USB around your neck. Just in case."
"Alright."
"Well, it's almost time to go. Nagato-san... have you really made up your mind?"
Nagato nodded without flinching. Her face looked serious, but not "Nagato alien-serious". Instead, she looked like someone who had just taken a decision and was determined to follow that decision. That determination triggered a deja-vu in my mind. It felt, in a way, like the Nagato who defended me against murderer Asakura, the giant cave cricket, or the deadly Mikuru-beam that nearly roasted my brain.
And yet, it was new and refreshing. All the guilt and doubt that I had experienced a few minutes ago, vanished like monsters before sunrise.
"Okay. It's settled then. I'll call Suzumiya-san. I see the PC's okay, right, Kyon-kun?"
"Yes, it's up and running."
"Perfect! Don't turn it off."
"Okay."
Suddenly it felt like the old times. There was a plan to fix something and to save the world... again. Everyone was ready. I just kept wondering how a time machine could be implanted into this computer. How would it look like? How do we turn it on?
Before I could ask myself anymore of these questions, my cellphone rang. It was Haruhi, alright.
"Haruhi?"
"John?"
John. It still felt awkward being called that. But hearing Haruhi's voice call my name (even if it wasn't my name) felt refreshing. I suppose that in the end, this alternate universe will become just another adventure in the book of my life.
"Yes, it's me. Everything's ready, we're just waiting for you and Koizumi and Asahina-san to arrive."
"Great! We'll be there in five minutes. See ya!"
She hung up. Finally. Finally, we'll go back to my world.
"Kyon..."
It was Nagato this time. She held my hands. "These days... were the most beautiful days I've ever lived. Thank you."
Nagato stopped smiling. She looked at the table and continued. "This could possibly be... our last kiss."
"Our last? What do you mean?"
"It's not guaranteed that the plan will succeed. If that doesn't happen..."
Her face turned sad. I held her hands. "Nagato, please don't think that. I promise, I'll do everything in my hands to -"
I couldn't finish my phrase. She kissed me and hugged me. It was a pretty long kiss, and neither of us wanted to stop. After we finished kissing, she hugged me again.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome, Nagato."
"Um... Nagato-san..."
It was Asakura this time.
"Nagato-san... perhaps I may not remember this when you go back, but... can I have... a goodbye kiss?"
Before I realized what was going on, I saw the most weird scene a man could ever witness. Two teenage girls kissing each other. In the mouth. Well actually it was Asakura who kissed Nagato - and that was a very important detail for me. You see, a bunch of feelings inside me began to fight each other - arousal, happiness, pity, and jealousy. Yes, jealousy. But what was I jealous for? I had just kissed Nagato a few seconds ago! What's going on with me! Anyway, it would have felt worse if Nagato had been the one starting the kiss. But why, why am I feeling so jealous? Did that mean that... I really began to fall in love with this girl, after all?
Maybe, if I was "God", did I make her fall in love with me?
And then I understood. I understood Nagato's words over the phone.
"It was my choice."
But... did that mean that there were other forces in the universe more powerful than Haruhi - or me? Of course there were. But then, if I gained these powers, where did they come from in the first place? Perhaps someone else passed them onto me just as I was supposed to pass them to Haruhi? And then who was the first? But, whatever. What was important was that Nagato made the choice to love me. Her words made sense more and more.
"It was my own choice."
But why did she tell me that? To make me realize that I had nothing to do with it? To certify that it wasn't a one-sided selfish love from my part?
It was clear and confusing at the same time, as if an even greater truth was hidden behind those words, but I still had no access to it.
And to my comfort, Asakura's kiss didn't seem as corresponded as Nagato's kiss with me. Did it mean that, really, Nagato was completely in love with me?
"Thank you, Nagato-san. Kyon-kun... don't forget anything that I told you, okay? I'll be watching... Nagato-san, please... take care... and don't let that thing hurt you... " (she said that while pointing at me, while Nagato looked down, as if she had been just scolded by Asakura). "Good bye..."
Asakura began to frown, and ran away from the club room. Nagato looked a bit disturbed, still looking at the floor, while Kimidori-san sighed. What on Earth was that?
"Poor thing..." said Kimidori-san, shaking her head. "It must be so tough for her."
I understood. Watching Nagato leave this world, without her, and with me... it was just too painful for her. She just decided to say goodbye and leave.
"It's almost time", said Kimidori-san. "Kyon-kun, perhaps it would be wise to go to the bathroom now. Before the trip."
"Oh, you're right. I'll be right back."
"Nagato-san, I'll go with you."
"Okay."
We got out, and Kimidori-san locked the club room from outside. Just a little trip to the restrooms, and we were ready to go.
While I was preparing myself to leave, I wondered if Nagato would leave with me. Wait a minute... what was the plan? Ah, yes, Kimidori-san, Nagato and I would leave.
Wait!
Does that mean... that when we go back to the past... there will be two Kimidoris, two Kyons, and two Nagatos... where one of them will be human?
And just what exactly is what we're supposed to do? I haven't discussed that part of the plan with Kimidori-san!
As I was thinking this, the bell rang, indicating the end of classes.
Soon Haruhi would be here, along with Koizumi.
I got out of the bathroom, and looked thru one of the hall windows to notice the rather small amount of students going to their homes. I had forgotten that there was a flu epidemic going around. I wonder why that flu wasn't present in our world... was it something that Nagato changed? And why? Or perhaps Haruhi did NOT wish for the flu to happen?
Whatever. I went back to the brigade room.
"It's almost time, Kyon-kun. You ready?"
"Yes, but... Kimidori-san... what will we do when we go to the past?"
"We're going to meet with Asahina-san. Then we're going to stay the night at my apartment. Tomorrow we'll talk with Nagato-san and inform her of the current events."
I see... wait... you mean she already knows? Nagato... you mean you already knew what was going to happen? Uh...
Kimidori-san chuckled at my reaction. "Don't worry about the details, Kyon-kun. We will only share the necessary information. You'll see."
"Okay... if you say so..."
Someone knocked from outside.
"Who is it?"
"John?"
Nagato swallowed and held my hand in anxiety. Yes, it was her. Finally, Haruhi had arrived.