Author's Notes: Hey! Sorry it's been so long since I have updated, but I had a lot of issues with college funding and whatnot, and that took up most of my summer, then worrying about getting my refund before the anime convention that I went to was an issue also. Finally, after all of that, I was unmotivated to do anything after the convention and was busy until recently, so I was finally able to inspire this chapter out of myself. It was supposed to be longer, but I felt I ended it at a good note.
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar, its characters or anything affiliated. If I did, then Sokka would have more funny things to say and Toph would be even wittier.
Chapter 10
The group walked into Zuko's office, where Ursa was waiting patiently. The guard hadn't moved an inch. He seemed more like a statue. Whatever the case, the teens filed into the room and found their seats. They all stared at Ursa, waiting for her to speak.
"You called for us?" Sokka shifted in his seat, slouching further in it.
Ursa's eyebrow rose slightly, but she chose to ignore Sokka's impoliteness. "Yes I did. I thought I should tell you the news before you found out on your own. Azula is going to be living in the castle in a separate wing, this way both of you guys can be happy. She can live in the castle and you don't have to see her."
Katara stood up from her seat. "What?! How are you going to let that psychopath live here? She almost killed all of us multiple times!" She turned to Zuko. "Did you even try to keep her out of here, or were you just trying to make Mai happy?"
"I don't care about Mai! I didn't want Azula here either!" Zuko shouted at Katara.
Ursa cleared her throat, getting everyone's attention. The guard became rigid, like he was dreading what was to come. When Ursa spoke again, her voice was soft, but slightly authoritative. "It was my decision for Azula to stay here. She wanted it and I didn't see any harm in letting her use a wing that is completely empty to begin with." She picked up her teacup and sipped her tea lightly.
Katara slumped back into her seat, folding her arms. "Why would you let her stay here? I wouldn't have given her what she wanted," she said quietly.
"That is where you and I are different. I know Azula. She is my daughter. If she didn't get her way, she would have burned the castle to the ground. Instead of having to deal with her tantrum, I opted for a better situation." The older woman placed her teacup back on the saucer. "In any case, she won't be a bother to any of you. I will make sure of it."
The waterbender stared back at Ursa. "How? You're not going to be around her 24/7 to make sure she won't act out. You're not even supposed to live in the castle~"
"Without a guard, which she has," Zuko interrupted. His voice sounding slightly annoyed from the earlier outburst from Katara.
Toph suddenly spoke up. "That's it? She gets to stay in the castle without any of our input?"
"I didn't think any of you would be that opposed. I could understand Ty Lee being upset, but I thought you guys would understand." Ursa glanced between each of them.
All the teens' faces showed their utter disbelief. Sokka spoke next. "What made you think any of us would be happy with that decision? You were ready to hurt Mai for something she did years ago. How were we going to forgive Azula for something she did a couple of months ago?"
The others nodded in agreement. Ursa let out a sigh. "I didn't think it would be this hard. Look, I have lost so much time with my children since I was gone. I want to make it up to Azula for how she turned out. I left her with her father, who turned her into a monster. If it wasn't for him, maybe she would have turned out better. Maybe if I am around, things will change. Can you think of it that way?"
"I guess it's okay," said Sokka. He continued, "It's not really our choice whether or not she stays here. It's more for you and Zuko to decide. We are only guests here, just like Mai and Ty Lee. This really doesn't concern us on a certain level."
There was an awkward silence. Zuko, sighing heavily, decided to break it. "I guess we will discuss this further then mother."
Ursa smiled. "I guess we will."
The group of teens, excluding Zuko, got up from their seats and left the office. Sokka walked out in front, whistling aimlessly. Toph destination was uncertain. She was deep in thought. Katara was muttering to herself, still angry about Azula. Aang had a blank look on his face identical to the one he wore when Ursa told everyone the news.
Toph spoke up, breaking everyone's train of thought. "What do you think is going to happen with Mai and Ty Lee now that Azula and Mai are buddy-buddy now?"
"I don't know. Ty Lee seems like she was really upset that Mai was even in the same room as Azula, let alone how close they are now," Sokka replied.
Katara puffed out her chest. "It shouldn't matter what Mai wants. Azula shouldn't even be in the castle. Why are they bothering to give her what she wants? So what if she has a tantrum? We fought her once, we could do it again."
"Do you forget that Zuko almost died in that fight?" Toph turned and stared at Katara.
A shudder ran down Katara's spine. "You should know out of any of us that I wouldn't forget that." Her breath quickened slightly. She closed her eyes and tried to calm her frightening thoughts. She opened her eyes slowly, letting out a relieved sigh. "That isn't the point. I just don't think Zuko is making the right choices. His people didn't even want Ursa in the castle, and she betrayed them years ago. Azula almost turned the Fire Nation into slaves a couple of weeks ago. If they figure out she is wining and dining inside the castle, won't the people be angry?"
"It doesn't matter!" Aang smashed his fist against the wall, making a hole through it. The other three eyes widened. Aang's chest was heaving, his face was angry. "We aren't even supposed to be living here, but since Zuko offered, we ended up staying here. Why should it matter that Mai and Ty Lee hate each other? Are you listening to yourselves? Do you remember not long ago that all three of them tried to kill us on multiple accounts?! Why are we being so buddy-buddy now? Why should it matter what happens to Zuko, or Ursa or anyone else in this castle? Have you guys forgotten about your own families and homes?"
Sokka and Toph turned their gaze towards Katara, hoping she would have something to say to the obviously upset Aang. As predicted, Katara did have words of wisdom. "Look, I was the worst offender when it came to trusting Zuko when he said he was good, but you guys convinced me otherwise. I'm not saying they will all turn out to be good, but at least we should consider the future of this nation. If things act up with the Fire Nation, as the avatar, you would have to fix it. We are trying to avoid a global conflict again. Isn't that making your job easier?"
"We shouldn't even be here still. Aren't you still having those nightmares? We're supposed to be going back to the Southern Water Tribe and hopefully getting those nightmares dealt with. Are you that worried about the Fire Nation that you would sacrifice your sanity?" Aang's eyes were pleading, as though he was trying to convince her to run away and forget everything.
Katara turned from his gaze. It seemed to make her feel guilty for some reason. "We can't leave Zuko. He has helped us with so much and we promised him that we would help him get familiarized with being a king. If we don't help him, the Fire Nation will be in an even worse predicament. We wouldn't want that to happen after we just regained world peace."
The young monk hung his head in defeat. "Zuko this, Zuko that. Is there ever one moment where you aren't thinking of his well-being? Why is he always the top priority?"
"What are you talking about Aang? He's our friend. Why wouldn't we care about his well-being?"
"We or you?" Aang's eyes showed an expression that was similar to a beaten puppy, scared of being hurt, but still hoping for love and affection.
Katara stared at him, opening her mouth to say something, but then slowly closing her mouth. For the first time ever, her mind was a clean slate. Her mind ran through everything that had happened the past couple of days and she realized how fixated she was on Zuko's future. Have I really been that concentrated on Zuko? Is that why Aang is so jealous?
Seeing the look on Katara's face, Sokka came to the rescue. "What are you talking about Aang? All of us are concerned with the future of Zuko and this nation. Are you saying you don't care if Zuko fails or not?"
"It's not like I am doing it because I am consumed by it! If he would stop making mistakes, then I wouldn't have to be 'fixated' on his problems. I'm sorry for making you feel like I am obsessed with him…" Katara's face was little red from embarrassment.
Aang walked up to her. "Are you serious about this or are you just saying it to make me happy?"
The waterbender twisted on her feet, letting out a groan. Aang followed after her, yelling her name. Sokka and Toph watched as they both left. Toph was the first to speak. "Do you… notice how things are changing with those two?"
"What do you mean?" Sokka said with his normal obliviousness.
"Never mind." Toph's eye twitched slightly. Am I the only one who pays attention here? She let out a small sigh. "Do you think we should see if Ty Lee is still in the castle?"
Sokka stretched his arms lightly. "I don't see why not. She must be off damaging the furniture in a fit of rage, but before we go…" Sokka's gaze fell on the gaping hole in the wall that Aang put in. "Could you fix that?"
Of course I would have to fix it. I'm the earthbender. "Sure. Why not? I can magically fix anything in a rock formation apparently." Toph glared at Sokka.
"So you can do it?" said Sokka, completely oblivious to Toph's glare.
Toph moved her hands and fixed the hole. "You're satisfied now?" She stalked off down the hallway, muttering as she did.
Sokka let out a small groan. "What's wrong with all the women in here? Is there something in the tea?" He split off in an opposite direction from everyone, intent on just getting away. Maybe everyone just needs some time to themselves. Being cooped up in this castle may have each of us on our last rope.
"What is your problem?!" Katara screamed at Aang when they make it back into their room. "Why are you having temper tantrums in the hallways and destroying parts of the castle for?" Her face was scrunched up.
Aang crossed his arms. "What are you talking about? I told you why I was mad. You tend to care more about the future of everyone else, but not our future."
"What are you talking about? I think about our future. It's just… there is no point into looking about our future if there is mass destruction and nowhere to have a future. I don't understand why you are so against thinking about the good for everyone. You're the Avatar. You're supposed to think about that kind of stuff."
"I'm tired of being the one that has to think of the good of everyone else. I never asked to be the Avatar. I was a normal kid in the air temples with my friends and my teachers, then one day these marks showed up and I was told I can no longer be carefree; I have to take on the responsibility of the whole world. How can I easily accept something like that? Why do you think I ran away from all of it? I thought that getting rid of Ozai and Azula and helping Zuko take the throne would be the end of it. My job was done. I saved the world from destruction. What more can I do?" Aang crumpled onto the bed, his head in his hands. What more can I do?
Katara stood by the window, staring at Aang with a saddened expression on her face. "Is that the only thing you're worried about or is this an excuse for you to be angry at the world?" She walked over to the bed and sat next to him. "What's bothering you?" She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on top of his.
The young monk sat there motionless, not saying a word. He listened to everything around him and absorbed it all in. He had never felt so much emotions before. This must be how it feels to be jealous… He opened his eyes and looked up at Katara. "I don't like how you keep going on and on about Zuko. You are so involved in his life and his decisions."
Katara groaned. "Not this again. I told you why I was doing that. Are you still not satisfied with the answer? That is the only answer I can give you. Why is it bothering you that much?" Her fingers combed through her hair, trying to get some of the tangles out.
"I just feel… uneasy. No matter how many times you tell me that, I just can't calm down. Something inside of me just won't rest. I don't know why." He relaxed his body against her, somewhat feeling a bit of peace.
She placed her hand in his and raised them up for both of them to see. "Look, as long as you keep talking to me, we can make it through this. You have been patient with me with all of the nightmares and helping me with them. You haven't given up on me with that and I thank you for it. That's why I am not going to rest until you can believe me 100% when I tell you that I am worried for all of our futures."
Aang let a smile crawl onto his face. He sat up and faced Katara. "You're right. If you didn't want to be here, you wouldn't be. I don't know why I was worrying so much. Thanks Katara." He leaned back on the bed, letting out a yawn. "I'm going to take a nap. A lot has happened today."
Katara smiled at him, finally happy that Aang had settled down. A yawn escaped her mouth also. "I guess I'm joining you then." Katara laid back and snuggled up against Aang, getting comfortable. As her eyes began to close, a thought flashed through her mind, so quickly she didn't quite catch it at first, but became horrified when she realized what it said. You will be the reason it all falls apart…
Toph made her way outside, still muttering about how stupid everyone was. Seriously, I'm the one that's blind and no one else notices what is happening. She rounded the corner and spotted Ty Lee in the courtyard. She seemed to be blowing off steam as she was yelling out random obscenities.
"What the hell is wrong with Mai?! Ever since we got here, she has been a pain in my ass!" Ty Lee let out a couple of frustrated yells and kicked a nearby tree. The tree trembled lightly and the birds in the tree fly out of it in fear. "God, why is she so concerned with Azula now after everything she did to all of us?!"
"Maybe it's because she didn't have you to talk to." Toph leaned against the wall by Ty Lee. Ty Lee jumped, startled by the appearance of someone else in the vicinity. The acrobat spun on her heel toward Toph. Toph didn't look amused. "You guys were fighting the night of the banquet and everyone snapped at her. Even Zuko treated her like crap. Who else was she going to talk to when everyone left her?"
"If she wasn't so stubborn and would have apologized for being mean to me, I would have forgiven her and talked to her, but instead, she decided to be impulsive and do something stupid. She doesn't think about anything. She dives into everything head first before thinking about the repercussions. It's one of the many things that tick me off about her." Ty Lee pushed out her lip, like a child throwing a tantrum.
Toph scoffed. "You're both acting like children. If neither of you act mature, than your relationship with each other will keep falling apart until it crumbles."
The older girl stared at Toph. "Why are you trying to help me? Don't you guys hate us? Why would you care whether or not Mai and I get along? It honestly has nothing to do with your mission or the future. If I were you, I would have ignored us and went on about my business."
The earthbender smiled lightly, letting out a small chuckle. "I agree, this has nothing to do with me, but I feel that if you and Mai get along, then that is one less catastrophe that we have to deal with later on. Maybe it would let Zuko relax and not worry about the rest of you. Because of all of this, Zuko is falling even further behind in his work. You guys should work together or at least tolerate each other long enough for everyone to get peace. Do you think that would be so hard?"
"I don't think I can be around Mai right now. It's fine. You don't have to worry about us. We will behave." Ty Lee fell back and looked up at the sky. She let out a soft sigh. Her face became serious and her right hand came up to shield her eyes. "This is the first time the sky has looked this blue in ages. Every time I was here, the sky looked even more depressing than I felt." She turned and faced Toph. "Thank you."
"For what?" Toph cocked her head to the side.
"Defeating Azula and locking her away. If it wasn't for that, then I probably would have been her prisoner forever. She is a terrifying woman, even to her 'friends.' I wanted to escape, but I never had the courage to. I knew she would find me and then I would be more miserable than I started." Ty Lee's eyes matched her expression, sad and afraid.
This was the first time Toph had seen Ty Lee sad. Every time they had encountered Ty Lee, she was always happy, even when she was trying to kill everyone. "Look, that's all in the past. We should be looking towards the future." Toph leaned her head up, her face towards the sky. She scrunched her nose up in frustration because she couldn't see the sky, really see it. Why would that bother me now after all this time? Toph suddenly felt grief wash over her. "Y'know, I never used to pay attention to the fact that I was blind, but when I heard you talk about the sky, I kind of wanted to see it, but then I realized… I couldn't."
There was a sound by Toph's right ear. She tensed immediately, but relaxed when she realized it was only Ty Lee sitting next to her. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I couldn't imagine how it would feel to be blind. I'm reliant on my sight. When I was in the circus, I would keep my eyes open even in the most dangerous situations. I've gotten used to the world at fast speed, so anything that is fast, I slow it down with my mind. If I didn't have my sight, I wouldn't be able to do that."
"I mean, it's not like I can't see. I can see in black and white and feel motions with my feet. I have been blind since birth. When I was six, I ran away from home and into a cave with badgermoles. I basically imitated them and I learned how to earthbend and 'see' because of it. I am better off than most blind people, but I still can't see everything. It frustrates me sometimes, but I feel that if I was able to see with my own eyes, I would be even more lost than when I was in the past before earthbending."
"I don't think I would have been able to do that if I was blind. You are really strong Toph. I hope you know that. Make sure you remember and acknowledge it. So what if you can't see the same way as us? I think it shows so much more than you're able to do what you can with what you were given. You were given a disability and you found your way around it. That is impressive for anyone." Ty Lee placed her hand on Toph's shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Even though I see it blue and you see it black, the sky is still huge in contrast to both of us."
Toph blinked her eyes absentmindedly. "Wow that was amazingly insightful. All this time I just thought you were Azula's minion and you didn't have the brains to think for yourself." She saw how hurt Ty Lee was after she said that. "Sorry for saying it so bluntly, but that was how I felt about you back then. It's different now." She picked herself off the ground, feeling a newfound burst of energy. "Since we're here cheering each other up, I have a suggestion."
"And what is that?" Ty Lee stood up gracefully, her braid wrapping around the right side of her body.
"I think you should talk to Mai and Azula. You all have been friends since you were children. Maybe things will change. We never thought that Zuko would be anything except an enemy. He proved to us that he wasn't all bad. Azula could do that too. If not that, just focus on mending your relationship with Mai at least."
Ty Lee let her eyes roam as she thought about Toph's proposal. "I guess I could do that, but I'm not in a rush to talk to either. Knowing Mai, she will probably come running to me once something between Azula and her becomes heated. I'm not too worried. It was just a moment of intense anger that erupted." She gave off a friendly smile.
Toph didn't believe her one bit. If she is willing to lie about it, then I shouldn't push her any further. "Alright then. I guess I will leave you to your thoughts. Later." She waved before heading back into the castle.
The smile that was on Ty Lee's face slipped off and quickly turned into a frown. If it was that easy, I wouldn't be out here releasing my anger on innocent trees. She went back to leaning against the tree, closing her eyes so she could think more clearly. All I know is that I am not running back to Mai. She will apologize first and if she doesn't, then we just won't speak to each other again…
The breeze flowed over Ty Lee's still body. The birds that had flown out of the tree in terror were nestled back in their twig home. Time seemed to freeze as Ty Lee was lost in her thoughts. Soon her head stopped battling against itself and she fell asleep against the tree peacefully.
Hours Later
Ty Lee was on her side in the garden, in a light slumber. Her body was shaking slightly, as it was cool outside from the autumn air.
Sokka was on his way to dinner, passing by the courtyard on the way. He spotted Ty Lee asleep outside. She's going to catch a cold sleeping outside like that. He strolled over to her sleeping body, poking her lightly, hoping she would wake from just that. She mumbled something lightly and didn't move a muscle. Sokka shook her shoulder lightly. Ty Lee opened her eyes sluggishly, smacking her lips. She turned her attention to Sokka, who was smirking lightly.
She shot up quickly, fixing her clothes. Ty Lee looked around, realizing she was in the courtyard still. "Guess I fell asleep out here." She turned to Sokka. "Thanks for waking me up. I would have been out here all night."
"No problem. I was passing by on my way to dinner. I figured you would be hungry," Sokka said.
On cue, Ty Lee's stomach growled noisily. She blushed lightly, covering her stomach with her arms. "I guess I am." She faced away from Sokka. "Guess we can head inside now."
"Sure. No problem." Sokka walked around Ty Lee, heading to the dining room. Ty Lee followed after him silently, thinking to herself about what happened earlier.
Ursa and Zuko sat in his office, staring at each other. The room was filled with the faint sound of a shishi-odoshi outside. The guard stood by the window, staring off into space. He didn't say anything or move much for the entire duration he was in the office.
Zuko let out a sigh, moving his head to crack his neck lightly. The sounds of his neck getting out its kinks filled the room. Once he was finished, he decided to quit beating around the bush. "What is the real reason Azula is staying here?"
Ursa smirked lightly. "I was waiting for you to question that." She picked up her tea cup again and sipped her tea lightly. She placed it back down. "I want you and Azula to try and become close. I know it may be an impossible task right now, but I feel the more we try to become a normal family, the easier it will be to keep the nation in order."
The young king blinked his eyes, stupefied. "What part of our family is normal? Our father was a murderous tyrant. He placed this scar on my face for trying to save people's lives. The daughter of the murderous tyrant became almost as terrifying as the original and you aren't even allowed in the capital without a 24 hour guard. What part of that is normal, mother?"
"When you lay it out like that, of course it sounds undesirable." She sighed lightly, placing her hands on the desk. "Look, what I told your friends was true. I do feel bad for the way Azula turned out and I am trying to make up for that fact. If I am around her more, maybe she will metamorphose into something tolerable. I don't want her to keep all those horrific traits from her father. You understand that, don't you?"
Zuko groaned. "No I don't. We have hated each other since childhood. We haven't treated each other nicely ever. She took after dad and I took after you. Opposites don't attract. Look what dad did to you. If he actually loved you, he didn't show it much. That's the sort of relationship I have with Azula. She doesn't even feel like my sister. She is a complete stranger to me. She decided I was useless and that is how she will always see me."
Ursa's hands balled into fists on the table. The guard moved for the first time and took a step to the left quickly. Ursa spoke, her tense voice shaking both Zuko and the guard. "I can see why she says that. As the king Zuko, there will be a lot of insults thrown your way. Do you think running an entire nation is easy? No. Whenever something goes wrong, the first to blame is the one calling the shots. Even though they may anger you, they are your subjects so you must compromise with them.
"Since we are talking about compromise that brings us to the topic of you and your sister. If I don't see you two trying to be nice to one another, there will be punishments. I suggest you get yourself up from your chair and make your way over to your sister immediately. If you guys haven't had a decent conversation by the end of the day, it will be dealt with. Mercilessly." A dark cloud seemed to loom over the room.
Zuko found himself compelled to leave the room as quickly as he could. He gripped the chair defiantly. "No. I won't do what you want me to because you bully me into it. This is exactly how father treated us both. Are you really going to resort to his sort of tactics after you said you hated how he treated us?"
The guard gulped lightly, probably expecting Ursa to explode. Instead, she did something unexpected. She blinked her eyes and stared at Zuko, and then she burst into tears. Zuko's eyes widened, he automatically felt uncomfortable. "I'm so sorry Zuko, you're right. I'm no better than your absentee father. How can I call him a bad role model if I'm doing the same exact thing?" She grabbed a handkerchief she kept in her dress and used it cover her face.
"Mom… I didn't mean to make you cry. You're nothing like father. He doesn't even know how to love someone. You could never be like him. I didn't mean for you to be so hurt by that. I just wanted you to stop trying to bully me into doing what you want."
"You said it again! I really am nothing more than a failed parent. I can't believe I've stooped so low as to being like your father. Don't worry Zuko, from now on; you won't have to deal with me being like that dreadful man." She began crying harder, her handkerchief becoming crumpled in her hands.
Guilt quickly overcame Zuko. He groaned internally. I know I'm going to regret this. "Fine mom, I will talk to her. Just please stop crying."
Ursa lifted her head from her handkerchief, staring at her son with puffy, red eyes. "Are you sure? You were so against it before. What made you change your mind?"
"I don't like seeing you sad. Even if I have to make merry with my sister, if it makes you happy, then I will do it." Zuko stood up from his chair, bowing slightly. "I guess I will take my leave now." He pivoted on his right leg and left the office promptly.
The guard stared at Ursa, clearing his throat lightly. "Permission to speak ma'am?"
"You don't need to ask permission to speak. You're not a slave. You can speak any time you want." Ursa folded up her handkerchief and placed it back where she obtained it.
"Did you just guilt-trip your son into doing what you wanted?" He shifted lightly, the sound of his armor clanked loudly.
Ursa smiled gently, turning her attention toward her guard. "Of course I did. He didn't like the fact that I was threatening him, so I just made him feel guilty for making me sad. It got the same results in the end." Ursa turned back to the desk, picking up the photo of her once happy family. "I just wish we could be like this again. How hard is it to be happy with the people you grew up with?"
"Well you have been gone a long time, so you may not understand how much they have grown to hate each other. Don't you hate your husband? Doesn't that mean you would be able to get why Zuko and Azula don't exactly adore each other?"
"It's different. I was forced to marry Ozai. I gave birth to both of them. I would have thought that growing up together; they would have found a way to get past their differences and learn to love each other." Ursa let a frown form on her face.
The guard sighed lightly. "It's not that simple. I grew up with 3 siblings. I get along with only 2 of them. The other, we bickered all the time and we never got along. When two people have strong personalities, they will conflict. We were always on the opposite spectrum. If my mom told us we could choose what we can have for dinner, we would always get into a huge argument over it and then our other two siblings would get drawn into it."
Ursa let out a small giggle. "I guess your household never had a dull moment." She stood up, fixing her dress. "I have been sitting in here for too long. How about we go on a walk outside and you tell me more about your family?" Ursa heads out the door, holding parts of her dress in her hands.
"Sure thing. Whatever you want to know, just ask." He closed the door of the office, following closely behind Ursa as she navigated through the hallways.
"Where are my manners? You have been guarding me this whole time and I haven't once ask you your name." She stopped abruptly, craning her head to gain eye contact with her guard.
The guard gave off a teethy grin, moving his hair out of his face. "It's Huojin."
Ursa smiles at him. "Nice to finally know your name, Huojin." They walked down the stairs behind the castle, heading toward the path by the forest.
Mai and Azula walked to the separate wing, not talking to each other. Mai couldn't think of anything to say. So much had happened in the past couple of hours that she was exhausted. She had to be in the same room as Zuko and his mother in order to negotiate staying in the castle that belonged to Azula to begin with. Now they would have to live in a segregated section of the castle because everyone practically hated them. Why was it such a hassle to be accepted?
"Don't worry about it too much. It's to be expected from mother. She will threaten everyone to get her way. Zuko is too soft. She will end up ruling the nation if she can persuade him that easily. Just because she placed us in exile doesn't mean we are prisoners. Don't think too much about it." Azula spoke to Mai, her voice barely above a whisper.
Mai was surprised that Azula knew what she was thinking so easily. She just nodded her head lightly. "We're still prisoners. It's not like we'll be accepted by everyone here. I don't even know why we decided to stay. Why don't you just leave and go somewhere else?"
Azula laughed lightly. "Mother promised she would make it up to me for the years she abandoned me. I am curious to see exactly what she has in mind. Basically, it's a source of amusement to me." The older woman stopped in the middle of the hallway, turning to face Mai. "You don't have to stay with me if you don't want don't owe me anything."
The emotionless female let out a soft scoff. "Where else would I go? It's not like I am welcomed with open arms. You said so yourself that this isn't a prison sentence. I guess we will be fine if we can do whatever we want without being bothered." She scanned each room in the hallway, trying to determine which one she wanted. "Any room you want in particular?"
"The best room of course. Nothing less." She grabbed Mai's hand and led her to the room she was referring to. Mai's face held a slight blush, not used to her close proximity with Azula yet.
Azula barged into a room at the top of the stairs. Mai stopped at the door, peering inside, not sure if she should enter or not. Azula rolled her eyes at her. "The room isn't going to bite. We own this whole section of the castle, remember? Even if we didn't, I'm the princess. What are they going to do to me?"
That is true… Mai edged herself into the room silently, admiring everything in it. The room was different from all the others they had surveyed. This one had the family crest on everything; the closets, the bed frame, the curtains, the ceiling, in the bathroom, on the doors, and even the knobs. The walls were painted a scarlet red, with gold insignia painted over them. There was a gigantic bed in the middle of the room. The bed was dressed with red silk sheets and numerous pillows. The bed separated the room into two quarters, meant for a man and a woman. In the man's quarter, there was a nightstand, a closet, places to hold weaponry, and a small desk. In the woman's quarter, there lied a vanity, nightstand, full-length mirror and a wardrobe.
Mai had a smile on her face, turning her gaze towards Azula. "You're right. Nothing but the best. What is this room doing here? This wouldn't be where your parents would stay." She ran her hands over the silk curtains, enjoying how smooth they were and how they glided through her fingers.
"It wasn't for them. It was for our relatives when they came to visit. They couldn't stay in commoner rooms. They had to be given the best. It is how it's always been." There was a hint of sadness in Azula's voice, but her face didn't reflect the same emotion. Azula wasn't about showing weakness, no matter who was in her presence. I'm not used to having someone to confide in. I'm growing comfortable in this. I don't want to end up growing weak because of her.
Mai sat at the edge of the bed. "I remember you used to hate your relatives staying with you because they were so fond of Zuko." She lied back on the bed, sighing lightly. The bed was much softer than she was expecting.
Azula let out a scoff. "They only treasured him because he was a boy. They don't care for the females of the family since they can never inherit the throne. They were more worried about the future heir of the Fire Nation. None of my relatives even came to visit me when I was born. They just scorned my mother and told her that she better make a son, or she would be proven utterly useless. I think that is one of the reasons I came to despise her; she didn't fight back. She accepted everything Father or anyone else told her."
Mai placed one of her hands underneath her cheek. "I understand why it happened that way. Think about it like this: your mother was forced to marry Ozai just because she was the descendant of the firebending Avatar. They were hoping that she would breed lots of sons so that her children would be the most powerful firebenders around, but then her first child was a daughter, and everyone dismissed her and your birth. When she finally had Zuko, she probably was hounded by relatives wondering if it was a boy or girl. For months, they must have called her a failure. Do you also know that your mother was in love with someone before Ozai came around? That is probably why she easily accepted everything people told her. She wasn't happy and it's not like she could leave and go somewhere. She would have been scorned by her family if she tried."
Azula stared at Mai incredulously. "She ended up getting banished from the kingdom anyway. She might as well had left with dignity instead of being branded as a traitor. Do you know how terrible it is to grow up without a mother?" Azula paused for a second and then shook her head. "Of course you don't because you had a mother that cared about you and didn't betray a nation."
Mai stood up, facing Azula. "You have to let that go Azula. She was only trying to protect her family. Wouldn't you have done the same thing if it were your kids?"
"No, I wouldn't have! Being abandoned is worse than being killed. At least when you die, you don't feel the pain of being neglected or being forgotten about. You're dead. You don't feel anything anymore. Living every day, knowing my mother was alive somewhere out there and left you because she was 'banished' made me sick. It made me despise her! I hated her so much that I could feel the acid and bile build up anytime anyone mentioned her name. She doesn't have the privilege to even call me her daughter. I decided long ago that she was dead. I can't even believe she came back."
"I can't believe you! There are so many people who don't have a family and you are saying that you don't accept your own mother?! She gave birth to you!" Mai shouted.
Azula frowned. "That is the only thing she has done for me. What else did she do? She wasn't a mother at all. She abandoned us!"
Mai crossed her arms. "Are you really angry because she abandoned you or that she sacrificed everything for Zuko 'instead' of you?"
Silence filled the room. Azula's anger reached a boiling point, enough to hear the metaphorical snap of her nerves. "That has nothing to do with anything! She was banished and she left us and never returned! She didn't even try to contact us or even try to take us with her! Why wouldn't she even think to take us with her?"
Mai didn't say anything. She just let Azula shout her own thoughts into the air. If she lets it all out, maybe she can finally calm down.
"I mean, were we not good enough for her? Did she despise her own children?" Azula quieted down, her thoughts filling in the answers to all the questions she uttered. She didn't make contact because she never cared enough. She didn't think to take you because you'd only slow her down. You weren't good enough for her, but Zuko was. She never despised Zuko. Only you. She never wanted you. She only wanted Zuko. That is why she risked her life for him, because she cared for him dearly. Do you think she would have done the same thing for you? Oh no, she wouldn't have. You would have been buried somewhere in the capital, with no one to visit your grave. Poor Azula. No one cares about you and no one ever will. Azula stood up, her breath coming out ragged. "That's right, she never cared about me. That's why she left. If she cared, she would have taken me. She couldn't take Zuko because he would become heir to the throne. The least she could have done was taken me, the unwanted child."
This isn't going in the right direction. "Azula, you were never unwanted. Why would you say that? If they never wanted you, you would have never lived to see your first birthday. They would have thrown you off somewhere else and you would have never been the princess. Someone would have adopted you and made you their own."
Azula turned on Mai, her eyes showing true hatred. "That would have been better than the life I had to lead. I wish they would have thrown me away. Maybe I wouldn't have so much hatred in me."
Mai's eyes narrowed. "Why are you always this negative? When things don't turn out your way, you decide to hate with all your heart. Your mother made a mistake. We all make mistakes. We're human. You're not perfect. You have made many mistakes yourself. Can't you forgive your mother for her mistakes? She's back now. That's all that matters."
"All that matters?" Suddenly, Azula let out an evil cackle. It was so sudden that it made Mai jump. Azula started shedding tears from laughing so hard. "All that matters? Give me a break. Do you think I'm delusional? She's only here for Zuko. She even placed me in the part of the palace that no one uses so she wouldn't even have to be associated with me."
"You said so yourself that she isn't even supposed to be in the capitol, let alone the castle. Even if you were in the main part, she still couldn't live here. She visited you while you were in prison. Doesn't that count for anything?"
Azula advanced on Mai. "Why do you always take her side?"
"I am only stating the truth. She did visit you and she is banished from the capitol without a guard present 24 hours. What else do you want her to do? She is here when she could be where she was before."
Azula was silent then. "That is another thing; she didn't even want to be here. Iroh had to go searching for her god knows where. She didn't come willingly. Why should we just accept her with open arms when she didn't even bother showing up on her own conscience?"
"As opposed to all of us welcoming you with open arms after you tried to kill everyone? She has more of a reason to have people accept her with open arms then you." Mai stated defiantly.
"You're here, aren't you? That's all I need. Besides, she isn't accepted with open arms. The people didn't trust her to be here by herself, so that's why she needs a guard. I don't even know why she would accept something like that. I wouldn't have come back if I was her."
Mai groaned. "You are so infuriating! Why can't you just accept things as they are? Why does there always have to be an ulterior motive? She's here, isn't she? Why does there have to be a million reasons as to why she is?"
"She's just saying she's here for me so that I will forgive her for all the years of abandonment. She's dead wrong if she thinks that I will just forgive and forget. I will never let my guard down like that."
The younger girl made her way towards the door. Azula stepped in front, cutting her off. "Where do you think you're going?"
Mai pushed her out of the way, glaring at her. "You know, I've never been a fan of your mother, but I never guessed I would find someone that hated her more than I do. You hate her and condemn her for being a bad mother. I think you're wrong. She should be ashamed to have a pitiful woman like you to call as her daughter." She stormed out of the room, hoping to get some fresh air after the heated argument.
Azula screamed in anger, destroying the room. Once she was finished, she leaft the ruined room in search of her mother, hoping to pick a bone with her.
Afterthoughts: I hope you guys enjoyed it! I have been struggling to write this chapter for awhile. With classes and homework, it seems like I don't have enough time to write this story and do what I want. Enough about that, please review and favorite if you enjoy. I will hopefully have another chapter out by the end of the month. No promises though. :3