Chapter 10
Then
She feels him before seeing, or even hearing him. Without moving from the doorway, or looking away from the nightline of Lake City, she speaks.
"Couldn't sleep?"
He starts, and something splatters to the floor. Tauriel turns around, suppressing a laugh as she is met with Kili standing in the middle of the kitchen, a jar of strawberries on his hand, a smashed one next to his feet. His surprise is short lived, though.
"You've caught me." He says coyly, giving her a look before turning his attention to the strawberries, taking his time to choose the biggest, juiciest one.
Tauriel can't but watch as he picks a ripe crimson one, guiding it to his lips, unable to notice they are the same color. Their gazes lock as he sinks his teeth into the fruit, his eyes smoldering into hers. The she-elf can't stop looking at him.
"Want one?" He asks, a playful smirk on his face.
"No thank you." She is horrified to find that her voice is strained.
"Suit yourself." He sets the jar on the table, walking over to the couches near the fireplace, limping slightly.
"You shouldn't be walking." Tauriel says as she heads over to him, sitting down on the opposite sofa.
He winces, covering it up with a halfway grin. "It doesn't hurt that much anymore. You worked your magic." He says with a shrug. She smiles, but says nothing. The embers of the fire shine over his face, highlighting his high cheekbones, giving his skin a golden glow.
The silence, strangely, feels comfortable, peaceful. There is no awkwardness in the air. But Tauriel's next question is one that has been pestering her since the evening, turning the atmosphere thick, the discomfort palpable.
"Who is she who walks in starlight?"
His behavior changes upon registering her words. His cheeks flush beneath the light of the fire, and he meets her eyes without his usual teasing manner. Tauriel fights away a satisfied smile. She is usually the one that gets flustered.
"I was hoping you weren't going to bring that subject up." He fidgets with his sleeves, and Tauriel's eyes traces his long, calloused hands, waiting for him to speak.
"Answer me my question, then I'll try and explain. 'Do you think she could have loved me?'"
"I do not know who she is, so I cannot answer." She says, lifting an eyebrow ever so slightly.
He barks out a laugh, reddening even more. "How about we leave it with the fact that I was in delirium, half delusional?"
She looks at him patiently, offering no reply as he steadily turns more crimson.
"I…" He looks as though he is dying to speak, yet something restrains him. She takes good care in hiding the upset feeling in her expression. She doesn't know what she expected, but not this. He has always been so smooth when it comes to words. She looks away from him into the flickering fire, and it seems ages when he finally speaks, startling her.
"The pain was so bad, I couldn't grasp reality; all I saw was red. And in the midst of the pain, I saw an angel, singing and glowing. When I woke up, I thought it was impossible that you had come to save me. I thought you were far away, a dream away."
Now she is the one blushing. It is still a new sensation; before meeting him, she had only felt heat on her face when Thranduil shamed her or when Legolas corrected her. This warmth is different, tingly and pulsing, just like her heartbeat.
"Aren't you going to answer me?" He asks.
"I don't know what to say." She says honestly.
They relapse into silence again, but this time it seems heavy, painful even. The elf maiden searches for something to say that does not sound fake and tense. She seems him struggling too, and comes up with,
"Why is this journey of yours so important?"
Kili sighs, surely in relief, shifting to give her his full attention.
"Because Erebor is ours to reclaim it. The dragon is not its owner, we are. It's our home."
"Is it really? Have you lived there?"
His eyes twinkle. "When I was very little, I did. We were the first to follow Thorin once the dragon came. Being his nephews and all."
"But being so young, I doubt you can remember much of it."
"Bits. I remember the glow of gold, the laughter of my kin, and the stories I was told." He pauses, a grin curling his lips. Tauriel waits for him to speak.
"We used to be told that elves were little people with big heads and green skin." He chuckles at his companion's perplexed face.
"I remember it was a common insult among the youngsters to call each other elves."
Tauriel gapes at him, unsure whether to laugh or scold him.
"It's true! Don't look at me like that!" He says, still laughing. "Of course, we were quickly proven wrong." He stops. "Oh the bloody shame. Realizing that the insult we called a dwarf we disliked was actually the opposite!"
Tauriel smiles.
"Elves aren't green and ugly." He licks his lips. "No, you are graceful, elegant, and beautiful." He pauses, casting an apprehensive look at the stairs. "Just don't tell Thorin I said that."
This makes her grin. "I give you my word." She holds her hand to her heart. With an air of exaggerated dignity, she speaks, "Cross my heart and hope to die if I ever mention this blasphemy to Oakenshield." They both fall into laughter.
"When were you proven wrong?" She asks after a while.
Kili doesn't skip a beat. "The moment I saw you."
She flushes crimson at his implications, looking away from the intensity of his gaze. "Oh really?"
"Mostly, yes."
The laugh in his tone makes her lift her eyes to him, and dread fills her as she sees the shrewd look in his face, only serving to accentuate her intensified color.
"You're blushing." It is not a question.
"What makes you say that?" It's all she can come up. He raises an eyebrow at her.
"The color of your cheeks—"
"I meant, why would I be blushing?"
Kili's lips curl into a grin, but he chooses not to reply, contenting himself with looking at her through his lush lashes. When Tauriel realizes she has lost their little starting contest in a terrible fluster, she desperately searches for something to say.
"So you lived most of your life in the Blue Mountains?"
"Yes. I am not going to lie. My fondest memories are from there."
"Tell me."
He looks away from her into the fire, his brow furrowed slightly. A slow smile curves on his face.
"There was this one time, a long time ago when I was a child, that I learned why I always had to obey my mother's rules."
"Must have been a very hard lesson." Tauriel says, grinning. He nods, readily returning the gesture.
"It bloody well was." He says, his eyes shining.
"What happened?"
"I had been playing with a few friends of mine and my brother. I don't recall what. But my mother called us for luncheon quite a few times, her tone angrier and angrier as we refused to hear her."
"Seems something you would do."
Kili grins. "Well, the fourth time she called, Fili and I noticed that she was ready to come for us with her infamous stick. Instantly, we knew, even if we went home to eat, she was going to break the stick on our backs. So we had to leave, hope she forgot."
"We got a cart full of hay —which was our neighbor's, mind you— climbed into it, and made our friends push us through the streets of our city." He chuckles at the memory. "But of course, our brilliant plan was ruined because we had no idea how to make the cart stop. You can imagine what happened next."
Laughing, Tauriel nods. "You crashed."
"We did! Gloriously, into the pen where a family kept their hog. Luck has never really liked us. We didn't crash into a house, a fence, no. We had to crash the bloody hog's place."
"Ohh, I see where this is going."
"We were chased half the city by that wretched animal, screaming like little girls."
Their laughs ring together, one recalling the memory, the other visualizing the funny picture.
"Nobody had the grace to help us. They would just laugh at us like maniacs while we ran for our lives, trapped between the mad hog and our mad mother."
"Who did you choose?"
"Our mother." He pauses, snickering. "Come to think of it, maybe the hog was a better choice. But anyways, we ran to our house for refuge. Three sticks where broken on our backs, six in total."
Tauriel claps a hand to her mouth, her eyes crinkling with laughter.
"I guess the hog heard us, and decided we were being punished enough for destroying his house. Unfortunately, our mother didn't think being chased by an angry animal through the whole damn city enough, and didn't speak to us for a week." He says, concluding his story, his eyes twinkling.
The she-elf shakes her head, having laughed throughout the last part.
"If you have so many good memories of the Blue Mountains, why do you not call it home? Why go for Erebor, when you had such a good life back there?" She says after they both subdue their mirth.
His face changes, turns serious. He leans forward.
"I cannot explain it, Tauriel. Not because I think you won't understand, but because I hardly know myself. I just have a feeling that I won't be whole until I step into that mountain."
"What if you die in the process?" She instantly looks away, fearing her eyes will show too much. The realization hits her as she spells out these words. She's afraid. Afraid for him and his safety.
She jumps in shock as a hand touches her cheek. She looks up at Kili who has moved to stand before her. It hits her again, how tall he is for a dwarf, but this dissolves in her mind as her heart rate accelerates in her chest, the warmth of his skin radiating through hers. With the tip of his thumb, he skims her cheekbone, his eyes forcing her to look at him.
She doesn't know what she wants more. For him to keep his fingers there, or to remove them. He chooses the latter, and she deflates, recognizing what she yearned for.
"Kili, you promised that we will see the world together." She says, looking up at him with imploring eyes.
He leans down, his hands curled around her neck, his forehead to hers.
"I know I did, Tauriel. I thought it was possible. But now, all I can promise you is that we will see each other again, even after I've left." He murmurs.
Author's note: I hope you liked Kili's story. It was very difficult to come up with, but I hope it turned out well. Did you like it? Did I manage to bring a smile to your face? Please leave a review, fave and follow! I love you all to bits!