Chapter 9

(4 months has gone by)

A year ago I was in labor, she thought as she looked at the calendar. It was Christopher's first birthday, and it was John's first birthday too. If it wasn't for the fact that she was invited to John's birthday party she would've stayed at home and sulked, eaten ice cream, and stayed in PJ's all day, but she also thought it was good that she was invited. So that she wouldn't do just that, that she would move on, and act normal on a day like that too.

Tobias knew very well what day it was, and as soon as he'd woken up he'd kept an eye on her, making sure she was okay, and she smiled every time he asked her if she was okay. They'd been living together for a month. Some people had their opinion about their relationship, that they were moving too fast, but they loved each other, they thought they were moving as slow as their emotions let them.

"Man you're beautiful." he said as he looked at her when she walked into the kitchen dressed in a knee length dress in many different colors that shouted spring, her long bangs were pulled up behind her head in a messy but yet stylish bun, and the hair that was loose from it was curled.

"I know." she teased with a smile. "Ooh, don't you look handsome?" she said as she saw that he was wearing black dress pants, a dark purple dress shirt and a brown tie, his hair looked as if it was under slight control.

"Well I have to, or else they might thing I've black-mailed my woman into a relationship." he teased her back.

"Your woman?" she asked amused.

"That sound's like what I said." he started to tickle her, and she tried not to laugh, but she couldn't control it long, and suddenly the kitchen was filled with laughter.

"Stop it." she pleaded breathlessly. "It hurts... Stop it... it hurts." she pleaded yet again, and then she thought of something that would stop him. Suddenly she captured his lips with hers, and he stopped instantly to kiss her back. When neither of them stopped the kiss, it became more and more passionate.

And they were late for John's birthday party.

They hurried inside the building, Cameron pulling her brown jacket closer to her as the wind blew harder. She could still see some snow that still hadn't melted away. And they quickly pressed the number 9 when they entered the elevator.

"It's your fault." she said warningly but yet playfully.

"No it was you who was so damned beautiful." he argued back.

"What about you, you were so damned handsome, you still are." She smiled.

"You kissed me." he stated.

"You tickled me." she stated.

"You led me to the bedroom." he whispered in her ear and she blushed just as the elevator opened, and they saw that a few people had escaped to the hallway and saw her blush, and she blushed even harder.

"I hate you." she stated quietly.

"You love me." he winked, and they walked up to the right door, and it hit her that she had not seen the inside of Foreman's new apartment, nor the outside.

"You made it." Foreman said, sounding as if they saved his life more then being happy that they where here. "Please save me from these adult eating children." Cameron giggled slightly at that, sounding very girlish.

"That would be an excellent story for a horror movie: the adult eating children, out soon." Tobias said in a deep voice, and then he raised his eyebrows as if questioning if that was good, and Cameron shook her head, and followed Foreman into the apartment.

"Hey, what took you guy's so long?" Foreman's girlfriend Mary asked, and Cameron glared slightly at Tobias, and Tobias looked at her, and then he smiled. "Okay, I don't want to know." Mary laughed putting her hands up in the air.

"But I do envy you, keep doing that as long as you don't have any children, when you get them, your sex life is over." Tobias and Cameron laughed, and did not mention that they did have children; just that someone else was raising them.

"Now we know why Foreman has been so cranky this last year." House pointed out, and they all wondered who invited him, and why he even came.

"Shut up House." Foreman said and walked out of the room.

"So you are Tom?" House asked Tobias.

"Tobias." he corrected.

"Whatever, I was close...To." House said dismissingly, and Cameron rolled her eyes, and turned to look at Tobias so that her back was to House.

"Can we..." she pointed to where Foreman had gone seconds earlier.

"Are you okay?" Tobias whispered in her ear as they walked out of the kitchen.

"Yes." she answered, and then whispered "But I would be a lot better if he wasn't here." she said referring to House.

"You can't always get what you want..." he said with a slight smile, and Cameron had to giggle.

"Oh he's so cute!" Cameron suddenly exclaimed when she saw the baby in Foreman's arms, he was bouncing him up and down, and he was laughing.

"Yeah he is." Tobias agreed next to her, and she turned to smile at him.

"They're lucky." Her smile turned sad, and he pulled and arm around her shoulder and drew her to him and kissed her forehead.

"So are you." he whispered into her ear and she smiled at him and leaned in as Foreman helped John to open his presents and Mary filmed it. What they didn't notice was House standing not too far from them, getting more and more curious as the minutes went by.

The birthday party went by eventless, smiles and laughs like a normal birthday party, the children stood for the cries. When the clock turned 5, all the children were tired and started to head home, leaving the childless people behind in the apartment, that means a few of Foreman's and Mary's friends, Chase, House, Cameron and Tobias.

After John had been put to bed, they brewed coffee, and sat down and ate the leftovers of the cake. Cameron and Tobias started a playful banter over where they'd eaten on their first date, and who asked who out on the second date, the first was quite obvious. House looked at them disgusted but Mary and Foreman only smiled and said: been there, done that. After a while they were interrupted by Cameron's cell phone, and she looked at the display. It looked like she had an inner battle about the fact of answering it, but when Tobias whispered something in her ear she nodded and stood up.

"Is it okay if I take it on the balcony?" she asked and Mary nodded.

"You'll only freeze half to death." Cameron smiled in return, and hurried to the balcony door.

"Allison" they heard her strained voice say. "Yeah, of course... Hav-" that was the last thing they heard before the balcony door closed, and they saw a small smile form on her face that was both happy and sad. Everyone in the room turned to look at Tobias, but he pretended he didn't notice.

"So which time was John born on the day?" he smiled brightly at them and everyone in the room felt a little creped out by this turn in mood.

"10:33pm." Mary said and smiled, and glanced over to the balcony where Cameron was pacing, looking somewhat upset, shaking, and nodding her head, sometimes speaking. "Is she okay?" Mary asked when she saw that Cameron was trying to wipe away tears that were falling down her face.

"Oh no." Tobias shot out of his chair and hurried out on the balcony.

The same time on the balcony

"Yeah I understand..." she said. She did understand. What she couldn't understand was why she felt the way she did, it was her choice. She had given him up. " Can I at least say happy birthday to him one last time?" she asked, tears welling up in her eyes, "No?" she said, and shook her head and started to pace. "Yeah I get it... just one last time, it's not like he'll remember It." she bit her lip, "Fine, fine." she started to wipe away the tears that started falling. "YES! I GET IT! HAVE A GREAT LIFE!" she screamed into the phone, and then slammed it shut, and turned around to see Tobias standing there. She swallowed when she saw that the door was still open. He closed it silently and walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her, and she fell apart, something she at the most didn't let herself to.

She looked at the clock that was on his wrist, and noted what time it was.

"A year ago now... he was born." she said quietly, and he pulled away, and started to wipe away the tears that were falling down, and he nodded.

"Maybe we should get home..." she nodded, and they both went inside. When they got inside she suddenly became aware of the fact that they'd seen her breakdown outside, and she quickly looked to the ground. "We're going to head home, this missy here is getting a bit cranky." she laughed and pushed his arm lightly, and he smiled.

"See you on Monday." she waved to them, and they went into the hallway and they put on their jackets and left.

They did not speak to each other on the way home; the radio was the only thing that filled the silence between them, watching the rain pour down on the window, and the streets that magically lit up in the rain with streetlights, traffic lights and from the car. Cameron had always loved the rain, how beautiful everything looked when it rained at night, it looked peaceful. They pulled up to their apartment complex, and hurried inside still in silence, and walked up the stairs and stopped outside their door to open the door, but before Tobias opened the door he turned and looked at Cameron.

"Maybe we should..." he trailed of, and tilted his head, his brown locks fell down in his face and she smiled at the familiar feeling of annoyance.

"Maybe we should… what?" she asked, and smiled again as he smiled.

"Maybe we should watch that movie tomorrow instead... get to bed early?" he smiled and kissed the top of her head, she nodded.

"Yeah… that sounds like a great idea." he unlocked the door, but before walking inside he kissed her gently on the lips.

"Ally... I love you so much." Cameron's smile grew big.

"How do you always make me so happy?"

--------

She had not talked with her sister for 4 months, not since thanksgiving when they had yelled at each other. She still couldn't find it in her, but when her sister called after 4 months of silence it was a shock for her. She had sought for truth she knew she wouldn't get, and ended up being hung up on. Her sister had been shocked by the anger that was in her voice, the confidence, the slight happiness, maybe it was how she sounded when they were little, when they had fought over who's doll was who's, and her sister had smiled because she knew her sister was back, and if it would mean a broken relationship with her that was the price to pay.

House noticed that she was happier, but that didn't stop him from being curious to what had caused her break down a week ago. It was still three weeks till her father had been dead a year, sure it could be that, but he knew that wasn't the whole truth. He had tried to get her personal file, even her medical one, but the lady wouldn't give him it. He asked Wilson to do it, but he refused to do it, so he was left with questioning her, something that she had been waiting for, for over a year.

She walked into the office two weeks after John's birthday party. She looked a bit sadder then the week before, maybe it was because her father's death anniversary was coming closer, or it would something else. House never settled for wondering, he had piled up these questions for too long.

"Good morning Dr. Cameron" he said when she walked into his office to check his e-mail, she jumped in surprise.

"Gosh House, you scared me." she looked at him. "Why are you here so early?" she asked confused, and began the task to get him out of the chair.

"Wouldn't want to miss the chance to have a small 'chat' with you." he smiled at her, and she looked at him weirdly.

"Seriously, did you fall asleep in here or something?" she looked at his clothes, not the same he had yesterday, but he could've had a pair of clothes with him incase a patient threw up on him or something like that.

"No, I was serious." he looked at her closely. "I've been meaning to ask you these questions a while now, but I just never got the chance." he said like a principal would do to a student who had been misbehaving.

"Really, and what questions may that be?" she took a deep breathe when he still didn't leave the chair, so she stood there with her hands on her hips.

"Well firstly, how you slept with me, and left for god knows where before I woke up." he paused and looked at her, her expression was blank. "Then how you left so suddenly, ignored our calls, hid in that closet, how I found you at your fathers funeral reception, what your sister told me, and then when you came back, how different you were, and then, you suddenly became more and more like yourself?!"

"I… uh, what do you want with this?" she asked him harshly.

"Answers." he stated simply.

"To get the right answers you have to ask the right questions." she pushed him.

"Why did you kiss me?" he gazed at her, and she did not hesitate to give her answer.

"It was a bet, 200 dollars total." she said, not breaking the stare.

"Why did you leave that morning?" this took her a longer time to answer.

"I didn't know how to act... one night stands aren't my thing..." she looked to the ground.

"Why did you ignore our calls?" This she did not answer. She just looked at him with an expression that looked bored and slightly disappointed for some reason. "Why did you leave so suddenly?"

"I've told you it was my father who needed help!" she half screamed at him, and walked out of his office to the conference room.

"Well I'm not buying it!" he yelled at her, and looked as Foreman walked through the doors, shocked that he was screaming at her, and so early!

"Why? Because I can't possibly be so kind and help my father out, huh!?" she crossed her arms and looked at him, waiting for a nanosecond for his answer.

"No, because why would you do that when they had enough money for a nurse!? Here you could've earned money!" he looked upset.

"I wanted to take care of my father, he was going to die, okay? I was scared because I would never see my father again! And-" she took a breath and realized where she was going. "And I-I just wanted to be near him!"

"Bullshit! He had more then a year left on his meds, you didn't know that when you left, hell you probably didn't even know how sick he was until you got there, if you knew you would've also known that if you went you still wouldn't be there when he died!" he yelled.

"How do you know this? You have no right looking into that!" she pointed to the ground to give a more dramatic affect, and to give her hands something else to do but slap him.

"Is that why you bribed them to not give me your personal file? Or is there another reason for that?" he leered at her for a few seconds, and watched as her face became flushed in anger.

"I did that incase you would come and look for it, it was because of my low expectations, and you did it, I can't believe you- you keep on amazing me." she said bitterly, and heard the door open once again, probably Chase.

"Well you keep on giving me reasons to keep on doing it." he spoke just as bitterly.

"Don't blame your curiosity on me!" she warned him.

"How can I not be!? You left just when I found it!" she realized what it was a second after he said it.

"I told you I wasn't." she said slowly and cautiously.

"How can I believe you when you left so suddenly, you were begging for my curiosity." House retorted.

"I was begging for my privacy, that was why I left!"

"So you admit that it wasn't your father?" he asked, and she stared at him, then at Chase and Foreman that were staring at them shocked.

"Can you believe him!?" she asked them. "I've worked for him for... soon 6 years! And he goes through my personal stuff!" she suddenly snapped. "You want to know what made me who I am, what made me so damaged as you call it?" she looked at him, and they saw that she had lost it, that she had reached the breaking limit.

"Came-" Chase started.

"No, let's find out." she smiled angrily "Two of my best friends killed themselves when I hardly knew what that meant!" Ally... I'm so sorry… "My math teacher tried to rape me, and..." …Do you need a ride?... she stopped with tears threatening to fall "I was bullied at school and raped in the girls locker room!" …You're a whore, you deserve this, it's your own fault, I know you want it!...

"Came-" Chase started again, but she glared at him, and that made him stop mid-word.

"You want to know why I married a dying man? Because he asked me to!"… Allison... please marry me, please… "When he died I was devastated. I had a one-night stand with a guy I still don't know what his name is, I got pregnant, and I aborted it, that's why I'm so attached to babies, because I killed one!" she turned to House, looking at him she knew that she wouldn't keep anymore secrets, she wiped away her tears. "I got pregnant last year." she looked him in the eyes, and spoke softly but bitterly "I couldn't go through with another abortion, so I left, put the baby up for adoption, and came back here, and I feel so ashamed because of it, but I can't change the past" she paused only for a beat "It was a boy, they named him Christopher... and three weeks after he was born my father died..."

"You... you did what?" his voice was low and shaking with anger.

"I..." she couldn't explain, she didn't know how to make this better. She hated that she'd lost it.

"I asked you!" he yelled "I straight out asked you!" he slammed his cane on the table, causing everyone in the room to jump. "And you said no!"

"I'm sorry House." Cameron spoke as she turned her head in sorrow.

"No!" he shouted "You're not!" his eyes radiated his anger. "I had the right to know that I was going to be a father!" she looked down, she feared looking at him, the anger she had caused, the disappointment that she was just like everyone else. A liar. "I had the right to be a father!" he yelled.

"But I didn't want to be a mother!" she yelled, she saw the nurses and doctors out in the hall, not hiding that they were listening. "I wasn't ready!" she added, she knew she was far from ready, she had to have a closure to her past before she could start the rest of her life.

"Well I don't care!" he shouted "It wasn't just about you! It was about you, me and him!"

"And you are one to speak!"

"What?"

"Hypocrite." she muttered, and he glared at her.

"I've never done something to this extent!" They both were furious with each other.

"Fuck you." she muttered so he barely heard it.

"What, I didn't hear you." he challenged with a hand to his ear.

"Fuck! You!" she stormed out of the conference room, but when the door closed behind her, she could only look at everyone that surrounded her, and she stopped and looked around. Everyone knew. Every single one. She heard the door open behind her.

"You think running away from this will help?" he asked, his voice still a bit high, and angry. "Every time it gets a bit difficult you run!"

"Do you blame me?" she said so only he could hear, they were standing really close to each other. They could feel each others breathe on their skin.

"Yes." he answered without even thinking "Why wouldn't I? Thanks to you I will probably never see my own son." she started to pull something out of her lab coat, and handed it to him.

"There, see." she said angrily. He looked down, and noticed it was a photo of a baby that didn't look older then two months, with big blue eyes open and looking at the camera with a surprised smile. He looked up at her again, this only made his anger grow. He turned his back to her, and still had the photo in his hands.

"You're fired!" he yelled.

"Thank you!" she yelled back, took her lab coat off, threw it on the ground, and walked the other way to the elevators. She walked past all the shocked doctors and nurses, stepped inside and rode to the first floor, and hurried to the locker room and took out her purse, jacket, and threw her jacket on quickly. She couldn't wait to get out of there. She took out everything she could fit in her purse that was in her locker, and then closed her door, and took the sign of her name and threw it on the ground just like she had done with her lab coat. And then she walked out of the locker room, and into the hospital-lobby. She had to walk through the lobby to get to her car from the locker room, no matter where she was going from the locker room she had to go through the lobby.

Everyone was looking at her, patients, doctors nurses, the patients knew from the staff's reaction who she was and bad news travels fast, but gossip travels faster. She looked past them all, not too fast or too slow, and soon she was out, and walking towards her car.

"Dr. Cameron!" she heard someone yell behind her, and she turned around to see Cuddy standing there.

"Dr. Cuddy" she nodded her greeting.

"I heard about your... fallout with Dr. House" she stated, and she looked slightly embarrassed.

"I think the entire hospital has by now." She said with no emotion.

"You're probably right." she admitted. "I will talk to House-"

"No, I'm fine with this." Cameron cut her off "I've actually wanted out quite some time now... but I never had the courage to quit." she shrugged. "Maybe I should send him a thank-you note." she smiled slightly.

"I can offer you another position-"

"No, I'm going to take a little more time off, and then I think I'm going to move from New Jersey... maybe closer to my home town." she smiled.

"Well, if you need help with your recommendation letter, I'll be happy to help, because I don't think House will be so keen on it." Cuddy tried to lighten the mood.

"I think I can agree on that." Cameron smiled half-heartily.

"Well, I think that I have to get back inside... I'll give you a call." Cameron nodded her 'ok', and Cuddy turned away to walk back into the hospital.

"Cuddy..." she turned around and looked at her. "Thank you... for not judging me..."

"Contrary to popular belief, we're all human." Cuddy answered, and continued to walk into the hospital, and Cameron smiled, and unlocked her car, and sat down to drive home.

When she walked into her apartment later, she dropped her purse and it hit her what she'd done. And she started to laugh. She had just done everything she had tried to avoid the past year- everyone knew about her past. She was beginning to think she was crazy when she felt tears fall down her face, and she started to cry. Maybe she wasn't crazy after all, just... a bit out of her mind.

Ok I updated earlier then I planned because I'm so happy (pleased...). House starts again September fourth:D Sure it's only the other half of season two but... All In- can't wait! And the the fifth Heroes is coming to Sweden!
And I'm not changing the title but thank you Bubbles1994, chicagochicklett and Orchidae for your suggestions, they were all good and fitting for this story.
And I'm sad to say that there are only two more chapters left (I maybe will do a sequel, if wanted) :( Please review!!