Chapter 9

The True Face of Eragon

Age of Aquarius Studios

I read that whole chapters for author's notes are illegal on this site. So I had to delete the author's note, sorry!

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Eragon went to the pantry and looked around. There wasn't much food, but enough. He was about to pull out a box of cereal when he noticed that there were other things besides food there. Some potions and jars filled one shelf. One bottle read, CURES UNCONSCIOUS ELVES FROM COMAS. Another read, KILLS RATS IF PUT IN THEIR FOOD. Still another said, FAT PEOPLE LIKE YOUR MOM WILL TURN INTO FAGGOTS WHEN THEY DRINK THIS. Eragon grabbed the first bottle and went upstairs to find Arya.

"What?" she asked as he came into the room. Eragon gave her the bottle. "Drink this," he said.

For a while they just stood there. Then she said, "You retard, I can't move!"

"Oh, sorry." Eragon took the lid off the bottle and put it in her mouth. She swallowed it all. "Wait a minute…" Eragon read the rest of the label.

WARNING: AN OVERDOSE OF THIS POTION MAY CAUSE THE PERSON WHO TAKES IT FALL IN LOVE WITH THE SECOND ANIMAL/VEGETABLE/MINERAL HE/SHE SEES. HARRY, YOU GOT A D+. FREAKING SEE ME HARY POTER GUY THING PERSON WIZARD GUY THING MAN PERSON! IDIOT MORON RETARD PERSON! OKAY, JUST SEE ME. DETENTION AND STUFFS, U SUK YO MAMA'S DICK.

"Okaay…" Eragon said. "Well, everyone knew that Snape hated Harry. Oh well. Wait, Harry's mom has a dick?" Suddenly Arya stood up. "Oh, god…wow, I can move and stuff! Yes! Now I can kill all the retards who made up Epic Movie!"

"Epic Movie? Why do you want to kill those people? It's hecka funny!"

"I have a reason for everything I say and do. Now YOU MUST DIE!!!!!" But before Eragon could get fatally stabbed in the chest, Murtagh came into the room. "Woah, what's going on here?" he asked.

Arya stared at him intently. Five minutes passed. Murtagh finally said, "Okay, this is scary."
Arya hugged him and said, "OH MY FREAKING GOD I LOVE YOU YOU'RE SO FREAKING HOT I WANT TO BE ON YOU I'M A FREAKING FANGIRL MAKE OUT WITH ME AHHHHH!!!! I mean, I'll just go downstairs," she said blushing. Then she ran as fast as she could downstairs.

"……………" Murtagh said. He left, and Eragon stood there staring at the door.

A few minutes later he also went downstairs. "Douchebag!" he said to the microwave.

"Um, Eragon called the microwave a douchebag," Saphira said.

"I know. The microwave isn't going to do anything about it, though," Murtagh said.

"If it did, it would be freaky. I'd probably rip it to shreds."

"Is that even possible?" asked Eragon.

"Metal, wood, flesh or bone, my claws can um…erm…what's a word that rhymes with bone?"

"Hmm, let's see. Holocaust. Darth Vader. Pencil sharpener. Hoppy the Magical Blue Jay," said Eragon.

"Never mind. Let's pretend that this never happened and that's you had gender change when you were three."

"Okay…"

"Clavicle."

Arya snickered.

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Meanwhile, Harry climbed up the rocks, wand in hand. The canyon was harder to get out of than he thought. Sweating, he grunted and tightened his grip on the mountain. Glotaarb Nibln was waiting at the top. "Don't you know the Wingardiam Leviosa spell?" he asked Harry.

"I forgot. I live in a shack, for cripes sake."

"Well, we have a mile to go until we reach the shack. Ready for another climb?" Glotaarb Nibln said, holding out a hand.

Harry nodded. "Let's go," and an evil smile lit up his face.

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Eragon leaned back in his chair and looked at his fellow travelers. Arya was blushing slightly as she looked at Murtagh, who sat half-stone faced, half-looking back at her. Saphira lay in a corner.

"So, we have a choice," Murtagh said. "We can stay here for another day, or we can leave immediately."

I vote you should stay.

"I'm not listening to you. You just do whatever to us you want just to get you hits," Eragon said.

That's life.

Eragon ignored him. Saphira said, "I think that we should just stay for a day. We can manage this, and people might not come looking for us here."

"I-I think we should um, stay, yeah," stammered Arya. She shot a quick glance at Murtagh, then looked away. Eragon put his head in his hands.

"Well, I think so too. Majority rules," Murtagh said.

"I know something bad is going to happen," said Eragon under his breath. Murtagh went into the pantry and found some canned food, cooked it, and gave the meals to the group. "So, let's eat," he said.

"Isn't this nice? We're eating a meal together like a family," Saphira said.

"Yeah, only this is canned junk and we're not a family," Eragon retorted.

You are. You're the mom, Murtagh's the dad, and the girls are you're kids.

"That's disturbing," said Murtagh.

Wanna know something else? This is how Stephanie Meyer writes, no offense to fans: Crimson liquids slowly flowed out of the pale, ice cold flesh. Edward bared his long, white fangs and stared hungrily at Bella, who was shaken with fear and adrenaline. "Are you scared?" he asked in a low, husky voice, barely audible, but just enough for the frightened girl to understand and slowly nod. "Good," Edward said with a vile grin, and flashed his cold, dark eyes—

"You really get into it, don't you?" Saphira said.

Well, I guess so. And normal type seems so skinny if you write in bold font for a while. Okay, bye!

"That was awkward," Eragon commented. He continued to eat his peas.

After dinner, as Murtagh was clearing the table, Arya came up to him, shaking. "U-um, Murta-g-gh," she said.

"Uh huh?" he replied.

"W-would y-you go on a d-date—" but before she could complete her sentence, Murtagh interrupted. "Sure, okay," he said. "But where are we going to go?"

I know. I'll send you somewhere for a few hours via magical teleportation, and you'll be back by morning. Okay, let's go!

"Okay," said Arya in a braver voice. "Come on, Murtagh!" In a flash of bright light they disappeared. Eragon stepped out of the shadows. (Just so you know, I am an Eragon x Arya fan, I thought this would be interesting. Don't kill me!)

"This is probably going to go very badly," Saphira said. Eragon nodded.

Three hours later the two reappeared. "How did it go?" Eragon asked.

"Horrible," Murtagh said.

Flashback: Murtagh and Arya appear in a café. A waitress screams, and runs out into the traffic. Blood sprays and—wait, never mind.

The customers stare at the couple, then also scream and ran outside. Luckily there's no traffic, so no one gets hurt.

A waiter comes up to Murtagh. "Can I help you?" he asks. "A table," says Murtagh, and the waiter leads them to an empty table and gives them some menus.

Arya says, "Uh, so Murtagh, do you have any hobbies?"

Murtagh hesitates and replies, "Well, I like to spell GO TO HELL on a calculator."

End of flashback

"Well, I guess that this isn't really for you," Eragon said.

"I don't know. Maybe next time will be better," Murtagh replied.

"We'll see," Saphira said. Suddenly the door burst open. Harry stood in the corridor, wand in hand.

"Holy crap—" Murtagh started to say, but Harry interrupted.

"You killed the minions," Harry said. "I'm one of them, you know. You've killed my family, and that has happened to many times in my life. You see this scar?" he pulled up his sleeve to reveal a cut. "This I got when I battled the minions' enemies. I sacrificed everything for them, and you won't get away with what you've done!" Then he pointed his wand at Murtagh. "Prepare to die. AVADA KADAVERA!!!"

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Keep reading for a special preview of part three!

Thank you to all my friends and fans for reading this. However, I won't be able to respond.

I've been locked in a cell, only able to send a manuscript of chapters to xLight. Please help me get out!

No, just kidding. I'm alright.

Okay, now for the special preview!

Eragon clutched his chest as he passed out. He hit the ground cold. Darkness engulfed him. "Am I dead?" he thought. Suddenly a light shone down on him…

Thanks for reading!

-salemmichi