Hello again, this chapter gave me some trouble... but once I let it go were it wanted, and stoped trying to make it do what I wanted, it seemed to work... At lest I hope so... If not it is all the chapters fault. LoL.

There was something in front of her.

Kagome squinted at the strange familiar object trying to place it, but her head hurt so badly it was hard to think. Fuzzy around the edges it slowly came into focus, her backpack? 'Where did that come from?' Confused Kagome looked around, when she saw Inuyasha her heart leapt as happiness filled her again for the first time in what seemed like forever. Funny, she knew it hadn't been all that long, and that only days ago she had been happy all the time, but it still felt like she had lived an eternity without it.

Kagome started to rise, weakly coxing her body from the ground, she wanted to go to Inuyasha, she wanted to see his smile. If he smiled for her, she would know everything was ok, that it would all turn out to be just a bad dream.

So Kagome pushed past the pain. She forced her arms to move, and stretched out grabbing a loop on her bag, using it for leverage. Panting faintly from exertion she made it to her knees.

It was then that she saw HIM, and fear pushed it's way through her blood, pulsing harder with every beat of her heart. She wanted to run, to run as far and as fast as she could, but if there is one thing Kagome had learned about Koga, it was that running from him of all people was useless. When the monster can out run you before you can take your first step, you have to stand your ground. It was the only option. Realizing that gave her focus, she had to fight... but with what? She scanned her area, what could she use? And like a gift there it was, Kagome wanted to cry in relief when she saw her weapon. 'Oh thank you.' Kagome reached out to eagerly free her bow and quiver from their ties on the side of the bag. Feeling the familiar objects pushed back some of the fear. Kagome drew an arrow, and felt better yet. She notched it and aimed at him... that monster... He had to be stopped, she couldn't let him hurt anyone else.

Some part of Kagome knew that Inuyasha and Koga were talking, but there was a roaring in her ears. All she could focus on was Koga's heart, she had to stop him, she HAD to. She was so focused on him that she saw his muscles tense just a moment before he leapt towards Inuyasha, she corrected for it and fired.

Cold dread washed through her an instant later as Inuyasha's form moved into view, directly between her arrow and Koga. Kagome screamed out desperately, frantic.

"Sit Boy!"

Kagome saw the beads activate, but too late... horrified, she watched her arrow strike Inuyasha in the back. She watched as it penetrated deeply enough to find his heart. She watched as the purifying powers spread, eating him alive. Screaming in denial, she watched as he turned his head to look back at her, his eyes wide with betrayal. Then he was gone. Inuyasha was gone...

Every hope she had ever held in her heart withered and died. Every dream she had ever yearned for shattered. Her soul crumbled and turned into bitter tasting dust as the world lost all joy and promise...

And it was her fault.

Hollow, Kagome watched as Koga walked across the rocky ground to stand before her, smirking in a smug self satisfied way that a moment ago would have terrified her. Now it meant nothing... Nothing meant anything anymore.

The roaring sound in her ears grew louder, filling her mind, then with a pop that was almost painful, it stopped, and she heard Koga's voice.

"Good job Kagome, I told you, you were my woman, and now you always will be."

Kagome sat up screaming, she screamed again and again, barely pausing to draw breath. Then something, someone, claimed her hands, and her fingers were tickled by a touch so soft it was as soothing to her as cool water was to overheated skin. It grounded her, made it possible for her to draw a deep breath and begin to clear her mind. With a shake of her head she opened her eyes to find Inuyasha's looking right back.

Inuyasha came awake with a start, Kagome's scream shaking him out of the sleep he'd told himself he didn't need. Eyes wide to take in as much light as possible he scanned the area, while taking deep breaths through his nose to analyze any scents in the air. At the same moment he was moving, he knew they were still alone but Kagome might not. Not willing to grab her, and risk scaring her more Inuyasha called out her name, but she didn't seem to hear him.

Panicked Inuyasha couldn't think, guided by pure instinct he simply acted. Reaching out he caught her hands carefully, cradling the back of her hands with his fingers while soothingly stroking her palms with his thumbs. Lifting her fingers to his mouth, Inuyasha kissed and nipped at them with more gentleness then he had ever used before in his life. Trying desperately to draw her attention while not scaring her more.

Kagome shook her head and closed her eye's tightly for a moment before opening them to look at him.

The dim light from the dieing fire was enough to let her make out Inuyasha's eyes, their golden glow calmed her. Breathing deeply Kagome waited for her racing heart to slow, all the while staring into his eyes. Once she was feeling slightly better Kagome squeezed Inuyasha's hands in gratitude.

Realizing at last what he was doing Inuyasha lowered his hands, drawing Kagome's fingers away from his lips.

"Your here with me now, right?" He asked gently.

Kagome nodded unable to speak, then the tears stared to fall, she tried not to cry but it was out of her hands. Clinging to Inuyasha's hands with a fierce grip, she sobbed.

When Inuyasha tugged so very gently on their bound hands Kagome scrambled out of her sleeping bag and into his lap. Inuyasha released her hands to pull her into his arms. Curling his head down to hers, he murmured quietly into her hair.

"I'm here, your safe now, I'm here. I'll keep you safe, I promise."

Kagome shook her head, not yet able to make him understand, right then she was not scared for her self. She had come so close to losing him, God, it had almost been her that killed him.

It was a long time until she was able to speak, and he held her the whole time.

"I was dreaming..." Kagome gave a faint snort that held no humor. "Clearly I was dreaming but it wasn't about... that. I dreamed that you were killed... that my arrow hit you..." Kagome shuddered. "Koga was so proud!"

Kagome wrapped her arms around his waist and clung to Inuyasha, her grip desperate.

"I almost killed you! Do you have any idea how close it was... If the beads had worked even a second slower... you would be gone. I would have died! It wouldn't have mattered what Koga did with my body after that, because I would have died with you."

Inuyasha was stunned; literally, utterly, stunned. Had Naraku chosen that moment to attack, Inuyasha would not have been able to draw his sword, so overwhelmed by the feelings her words had invoked he couldn't think. Deep in his heart he felt a lock break loose and fall.

Coming back to himself no more then half a heartbeat later, he tipped her face up until he met her eyes, then he spoke.

"I'm right here Kagome, and I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying with you until you send me away, and even then you might be stuck with me. Come on, your too smart to do something as stupid as beat your self up over something that didn't even happen. Koga's dead and your here with me, so it worked out ok, except that I didn't get to kill the bastard myself. Do you know how badly I wanted to do that, to kill the filth that dared to touch you, the woman I..."

Inuyasha paused, dare he say it? Was it right or fair to tell her now... but he needed to say it, that last bond holding the words back had been broken, right or wrong it was time. Holding her gaze he finished his declaration.

"The woman I love."

Kagome couldn't think, did she hear... did Inuyasha just... what?

Too dazed to know what she was doing Kagome whispered her last thought out loud.

"What?"

Inuyasha smiled tenderly down at her and said it again. "I love you. I love Kagome, and nothing is going to change that."

"Why... after Koga...How could you?" She breathed out, scared that if she spoke too loudly the dream would shatter.

"Because you're Kagome. Because you make me smile, and laugh. Because of the way you care about everyone. Because when I thought I was too soiled to be touched you embraced me. Because when my soul was lost, it was you who called it back. Because there is nothing that could ever make you anything less then my miracle."

Inuyasha tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"I could give you a thousand more reasons why I love you but it would still not cover it. I just do. I. Love. You."

Kagome stared up into Inuyasha's eyes and slowly a tremulous smile lifted her lips. For a moment her eyes glowed like they did before Koga and her smile lit up his world. Then she buried her face in his chest and whispered into his haori.

"Thank you Inuyasha, thank you so much. I love you too."

For a long quiet moment they just held each other, basking in the warm glow of their newly expressed love.

Kagome felt, for the very first time, that she could recover and put everything that had happened with Koga behind her. She would never be exactly the same, never be as trusting or as innocent, but she could move past it and be whole again. If Inuyasha stood by her she could do anything.

The fire popped and crackled as the night insects sang their songs. The world kept spinning, as it always does, but for the two of them it paused, granting them one tiny perfect moment. Both held and comforted by the love they shared, both secure in the knowledge that that love was real, and would endure.

A lifetime later, or only a moment, it was hard to tell, Inuyasha spoke.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you the truth... if I had just had the guts to tell you how I felt..."

Kagome cut him off.

"Don't. It would be dumb for either of use to start thinking about could have been done differently. I could have made it clearer to K... Koga in the beginning I would never be his mate, instead of trying so hard to be nice... I could have let you kill him after the first time he kidnapped me. I could have fought him harder or been smarter... Ayame could have been more insistent that he keep his promise to her. Naraku could have left Koga's pack alone so he wouldn't think he needed me..."

"WHAT! What about Naraku?" Cut in Inuyasha.

"Oh ya, I forgot. You don't even know why Koga did it... He still had a choice though." Kagome's voice became harsh. "He didn't have to hurt me. Koga is still to blame, but... he was pushed. Naraku sent Kagura to attack Koga's pack. She killed them all... that's why he took me. He wanted cubs. He said he needed a pack. I guess losing everything the way he did made him... but it was still wrong! Ayame was waiting for him! She would have been happy to have his children... he could have joined her pack. Why did he have to pick me!" She asked in a near scream, as she clung even tighter to Inuyasha.

Gently Inuyasha stroked her back with one hand while running his other over her hair.

"I don't know. For a wolf there is nothing worse then the loss of their pack-mates, most would have killed themselves in Koga's place. I don't think we will ever know why he did what he did, I bet even he could not have explained... and your right, no matter what set him off, Koga had a choice. So don't you dare ever start to feel bad about ending his life... he needed to die. I just wish I could have done it for you... why didn't you just let me protect you? Were you worried I might fail you?" He asked, no anger in his voice, just concern and a touch of uncertainty.

"No it wasn't that... I just had to." Kagome took a deep breath and struggled to make him understand.

"I knew that you would win the fight, I never doubted that once you caught up to us you would save me. I... umm... I just... if I had let you kill him, I would have been saved yes, but I would always have remained his victim. I had to do it myself so that I would know I could protect myself, maybe not every moment, but enough. I... I..." Kagome's voice broke, and for a moment she sobbed, no tears, just a few ragged gasping breaths.

"I hated him." She whispered out in a voice hushed with shame. "I never hated anyone until Naraku, and then Koga. I don't like it. I don't want to hate."

Unable to catch it in time, a whine slipped past Inuyasha's lips. Someone like Kagome should never have been put in the position to have to hate, she was too good for that. Then he had an idea, it might end up being the stupidest thing he could possibly say but it also might be just what she needed to know.

"Do you still hate Koga?" He asked, already sure of the answer.

Kagome lifted her head in surprise as his question hit her and gave her a perspective on things she had not considered yet.

"No." She answered, surprise clear in her voice. "I don't hate Koga anymore, I will always hate what he did, but... he said sorry. At the end, even though he knew I had just killed him, he said sorry. He didn't hate me for killing him, I guess I don't have to hate him for taking me... I can forgive him." Her voice warmed with relief as the bitter feeling of hate slipped from her soul.

Feeling cleaner at that moments then a thousand baths could have ever accomplished Kagome gave Inuyasha a bright smile.

Inuyasha watched Kagome's face soften, and when she smiled the whole world lit up. His breath caught in his throat and his heart skipped a beat, she was going to be ok... Kagome was going to be Kagome again. It would take time, and there would be hard times... but she was really and truly going to be ok.

He wanted to kiss her. He felt so relived and happy that he wanted nothing more then to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless, but he knew it was far to soon for that. Instead he made note of it, memorizing the exact kind of kiss he wanted to give her so that he could save it for later when they were ready. He would give it to her then.

Kagome shifted into a comfortable position, her legs draped over his and her side against his front with her head resting over his heart. She loved to listen to it beating.
"Thank you Inuyasha... I feel so much better now. No one else knows me like you do. They would never have realized I needed to forgive him to feel better. I didn't even realize it. What he did was wrong, but he wasn't even right with himself when he did it. And he was sorry. I don't have to forgive what he did to forgive him. I don't have to hate him." Kagome smiled softly and closed her eyes, feeling more at peace then she had in a very long time.

Moments latter she was sound asleep. Inuyasha reached out with his foot and snagged her sleeping bag, dragging it closer. Once he got it into arms reach he opened it, awkwardly, but he managed, and draped it over both of them.

Inuyasha looked around carefully, ears straining to hear any sound. He took long slow breaths to test the wind for threats. When he found none he leaned his head against hers, closed his eyes, and breathing in her scent, let himself sleep.

So here I leave you, there is more coming, but the next chapter will be a little while yet... since this one was so determined to go in a slightly differant direction, I have to rethink a few things... I still think it was worth it though... I like what happened in this chapter. I think it was very real, now I just have to figure out how to move forword... and I am not sure how long it will take... but I will, as always, try to make it as fast as I can. I do hope everyone is still enjoying the story and thank you so very much for all the wonderful reviews. I love them so much I am checking my e-mail all the time just to see if I got any new ones...LOL
"When you know your crazy, your doing just fine. When you think your normal, you have a problem." quote by: Me