Enchanted Life
So many things have changed, these past few days. So many lives were lost. So many lives changed completely. Including his. It could be worse, he thought. Who would have thought he would come this far? What does that man think about it? Now he was going to be higher in the Court than thatman had ever been. Him, a worthless piece of trash.
oOo
He was hiding from his nanny in the kitchen garden. It was not fair. This was supposed to be his riding lesson. And he had had a bath only yesterday. Why was it necessary to have another one just because the Arl was coming? With stupid Vaughan. Pffft, that fool still had problems with conjugation in Orlesian. He would much prefer to ride his pony. Or stay with Erwin. He would like that the best. But father didn't like Erwin and said it was not fit for the Bann's son to be friendly with that sort of people.
He wasn't sure what sort of people Erwin was. He thought it must be the laughing sort. Father never laughed. Nor did Mother. She would smile, sometimes. But it always looked as if she wanted to cry instead. So he would hug her and sometimes she would allow him to kiss her on the cheek, if father wasn't around. Father would be angry and scold him for being a crybaby and weakling.
Erwin never told him he was a crybaby or weakling. He was nice. And he laughed a lot. Everything was a reason to laugh for him. But he could only see Erwin if he was sick or injured. He used to fall down and scratch his knee, so his nurse would take him to the infirmary. But then Father said if it continued he would have to go to the Templar academy for proper training. That wouldn't be nice, because he wouldn't be allowed to see Mother. Or Erwin. So he stopped falling.
He heard nanny's voice, calling him. She was coming near. Soon, she would be here and she would be angry with him. He sighed and looked around for a possible excuse. Red currants. Perfect. He quickly walked over to the bushes and stuffed some in his mouth.
"Young master! What are you doing? Spit that – come on, spit that out! You can't eat those raw! Do you want to be sick?"
He wanted to tell her he had had them before and he wasn't sick, but changed his mind. He could be sick. That would be the reason to go to the infirmary.
"I was hungry," he said.
"And so you came to eat raw things, like an animal? You are already a big boy, almost five, you will be breeched soon! You cannot behave like this any more. And especially not when the Arl is coming for a visit. It wouldn't be a nice thing, if they found the future Bann eating in a garden, like a mabari. Do you want to shame your father?"
"No," he grumbled miserably. Being the future Bann was no fun at all. Besides, Banns were always the sort of the people who didn't laugh. They would snicker, sometimes. But they never really laughed.
Nanny kept scolding him. He nodded and answered 'yes' and 'no' but he didn't really listen. Instead he was watching the cook's boys replaying the battle at the River Dane. The older was pretending to be an Orlesian knight and the other was Loghain MacTir. It was all wrong. But it didn't matter. They were not the future Banns. They didn't have to spend long hours learning the history of Ferelden, they didn't have to know speak Orleasian and Antivan. They were also the sort of people not fit to befriend the Bann. The laughing sort.
oOo
Nanny took him to the infirmary first, explaining to Erwin about the currants. Erwin made a serious face and said he better do some precautions, so there would not be any disturbances during the dinner with the Arl and asked her to wait outside until he was done. The moment she closed the door behind her, he turned to him and chuckled softly.
"So you ate red currants. Did you like the taste?"
He nodded.
"Then eat them as often as you can. They're good for you. These nobles and their silly manners! Me and my siblings grew up on raw fruit, and here we are, alive and healthy. Just don't eat anything rotten or laying on the ground, that can cause cramps." Erwin laughed again.
"Why are you always laughing? Nobody else laughs as often as you."
Erwin looked at him, surprised. "Does it bother you, young Master?"
"No! I like it. Father never laughs. And he doesn't like it when I'm laughing aloud, either. He says it's not proper."
"That is..." Erwin bit his lip angrily. "No, he is right. I laugh, because while I can laugh, I can be sure I am still myself."
He frowned. "I don't understand."
"And I hope you never will." Erwin turned away. "You should go, young Master, or your Nanny will skin me alive," he said, laughing.
oOo
It was that night he discovered he could do things.
Stupid Vaughan, three months older. Breeched. Dressed like a man, in the same doublet and breeches like his father. Boasting about it all the time. It was so annoying. If it was him, Father would tell him not to behave like a baby. But nobody said that to Vaughan. It wasn't fair. He so wanted to punch his ugly face.
It was a relief when he was finally taken back to his room. Nanny washed him again, and then told him a story about brave Fereldan knights fighting the Orlesians. It was almost the same as his history lessons. Good thing was here he was expected to fall asleep. So he pretended he did and finally she left. He waited for a while, then he slipped out of the bed and took out one of the books he got from his uncle on his birthday. It was a story book. Father did not approve of story books, but uncle was higher than Father. Not really higher, but incourt. He wasn't sure what it meant. Perhaps in the court they were standing on some steps and uncle was higher. Anyway, Father didn't want uncle to be angry so he didn't take the book away.
The stories were not really nice, they were all about preachings about Andraste and the Chant of Light. But the pictures were pretty. Especially one. There was a knight in shining armour, surrounded by a lot of ugly monsters. Many were laying slain at his feet, but there were many more still standing. The knight wasn't afraid, because the Maker was protecting him.
He traced his fingers over the figures in the picture. It was his favourite. He was the brave knight, of course. Vaughan was one the monsters, the one right in front of the knight that he would hit with the next blow. Take that, Vaughan!
He always did this, every time when someone was mean to him. It helped a lot. But that time was different. His fingers glowed, and for a moment the characters were out of the pictures, standing there on the page of the book, looking so real... He gasped and reached for them, but just before he could touch them, they vanished into thin air.
It was magic. Had to be. But no matter how hard he tried, it didn't happen again. The image remained as it always was. Disappointed, he went to bed.
oOo
In the next few days, it would sometimes happen again, but never when he tried to do it himself. He didn't tell anyone, he was sure Father would say it was inappropriate for a future Bann. Perhaps he would even forbid him to use it. And he didn't want it to stop, he liked it. Maybe he should tell Mother, but what if it made her sad again? He didn't like when Mother was sad. So he kept silent about it.
It was Mother that found out. She came in to check on him and found him out of the bed. His hands were glowing and he tried to hide them behind his back. But she saw it. She wasn't sad. Or angry. Only very scared. She grabbed his hand, and almost dragged him to Erwin's room. He had never been there before, only in the infirmary.
"Save my son," she said. "I'm begging you. Help him. Teach him how to suppress it, how to control it. Please. My husband must not find out. He will kill him if he does."
Erwin smiled. "Do not worry, my lady. I will not allow that happen. But we need to carefully think this over. It won't be simple."
oOo
It wasn't simple. He could only go to Erwin if Father was not in town. Luckily that happened a lot more than before. Uncle said Father was sucking up to Howe. When he asked what Father was sucking, Mother almost choked on her tea. She said it was just saying, that he really didn't suck anything. Uncle smirked and said he wouldn't be so sure and Mother got really mad.
"Mind your language! There is a child here, if you haven't notice!"
Whatever it was Father was doing, it meant he could meet Erwin quite a lot. It meant he had to get up really early in the morning and sneak to one of the empty guest rooms, careful not to be seen. Erwin was usually already there.
It became his favourite hour of a day. Soon he was able to control his magic and do things only when he wanted. He also learned a few basic spells from other schools, like an ice spell and a lightning spell. But he didn't like those much. Those could hurt people. He didn't want to hurt people. He wanted to make them laugh.
Erwin said he was very talented. Of course. Every tutor said that. They all said that he was a genius and had a great future in front of him. Mother was always sad, when they said it. But learning magic was fun, as well. They laughed a lot, the two of them.
For little more than one year, he was happy.
He never found out who ratted on them. One day Father stormed into the Erwin's room, with a crying Mother and shouting Uncle in tow. They were sitting over a textbook on Arcanum. He wasn't even casting a spell. Father grabbed him by his hair and pulled him up from the chair. Mother screamed. It hurt a lot, but he tried to be brave, for her. He smiled.
That was the wrong thing to do.
Father beat him senseless. When Mother and Uncle tried to stop him, he beat them, too. He had never known his Father was this strong.
He was screaming. Mother was screaming. Father was yelling that it was all her fault. That she must bear him another child and Maker save her if it was a worthless piece of trash like this one. Uncle was yelling that he should be sensible. Erwin was also yelling pleas. Father ignored it. He just kept hitting and kicking him. His body hurt and he was angry and desperate and then there was a flash of light -
It took him a moment to realize that it was he who cast the spell.
Father stopped yelling. "Cursed little demon. Attacking your own father, are you? What else did you teach my son, you piece of shit? Is he to kill me first, then his bitch of a mother? Perhaps you hope to get your paws on his heritage? Well, you will not. I will kill you both."
"Father," he said, but Father smacked him across his face.
"I am not your father. I have no son."
There was a short moment of silence, as if Father was surprised by what he said, as well. Then he pulled out his sword. Mother screamed.
He would have died there, if Erwin hadn't pushed him out of the way. The sword hit him the same moment Father was hit by some spell.
"Take the boy and run!"
Uncle grabbed him, carried him out, kicking and screaming. All the servants were now hurrying to see what was going on. Uncle didn't care, ran through the corridors and out to the yard shouting to get his horse ready. He tried to stop him, to explain to him that Erwin needed help. It was useless.
They rode the whole day, stopping only once in a small village where Uncle bought a fresh horse and also something to eat. He refused, saying he was not hungry In the evening they reached another village and spent a night in an inn. It was the ugliest place he had ever seen. He was all itchy when he got up in the morning.
The next few days became all blurred. Later he could never remember any of them. Dull and empty, spent in silent haste.
Then he saw it. The Tower. Tall and magnificent and scary.
"Be a clever boy," said Uncle. "Save yourself a lot of trouble. Don't say who your father is."
"He's not my father." He would never call him 'father' again.
Uncle didn't say anything.
oOo
When the First Enchanter asked him what was his name, he didn't say his real name. It wasn't his any more. His father wanted him dead. He wanted his father dead, too. So he said the only other name he loved.
"My name is Erwin."
The First Enchanter looked at him for a moment. He had very sad eyes. "I see," he said at last.
He never found out what happened to Erwin, whose name he stole. At first he prayed every night that he survived thatman's anger, that he was alive and well. Then one day he understood. That about laughter and knowing you're still yourself. Ever since then he hoped Erwin was dead.
oOo
"My, my. Look who honoured us with his presence tonight! The great Erwin the Lame himself!'
He rolled his eyes. "You know, if it is supposed to be a pun, it shouldn't be that obvious. Try harder, elf."
Daria Birin and he were sworn enemies almost from the first day they met, as opposite as possible. He was a prodigy of the Circle, at least that was what some of his mentors said. He didn't feel special. He just liked to learn. Things that other kids found funny seemed incredibly dull and stupid. Whenever they had to use their brain, they started whining and complaining. There were only a few exceptions, in their little elite group.
Then there was a large group of Averages. They truly excelled in only one thing: avoiding any learning and work. In that, they were unbeatable.
And last group were the Troublemakers. They were not really stupid, they just thought they are above such mundane things as learning.
Both the Averages and Troublemakers were pathetic, he thought. How could anyone think learning was not fun? Honestly, it was the only good thing about the Tower.
Daria Birin was the worst. She despised the 'boring theory' and never bothered to study it. Instead, she always twisted any spell the moment she learned it, combining it with other spells without any prior research. More often than not it ended in a huge explosion or some similar disaster. Worst of all, she was proud about it, called it 'creativity'.
Some people – those easily fooled, he thought – admired her for it. Her mentor even recommended her to be one of the Elites, but most of the other mentors disagreed, because her grades were not that great. Thank the Maker for small mercies.
"Racist."
"Nonsense. The only elf I can't stand is you."
"So why did you decide to leave the library and join us commoners, o mighty elite prince of lameness?"
"That's just longer, not better. And I came, because, as you might have perhaps noticed, this is the dininghall."
Several people snickered. She glared at them, trying to find something funny to say, but then she just frowned, turned on her heel and walked away. He should have felt victorious, but he felt oddly embarrassed instead.
"Women," he said wisely, causing bursts of laughter from the older apprentices.
He and Daria were both thirteen.
oOo
Something changed that day. Every time they met, she tried a new variation of the word 'lame'. And he would always say it was not good at all. But somehow, it wasn't the same any more. It was more like a game. After a few months, he challenged her. Should she ever come up with really good one, he would take it as his surname. He needed one anyway, he explained. That surprised her.
"Don't you know the name of your parents?"
"No. I forgot it like they forgot me."
She didn't say anything, but from then on her attempts were not so... lame.
oOo
"McLam."
"What?"
"Your name."
"You're serious?"
She was. He thought about it for a while, but what did it matter? It wasn't as if he was ever going outside again. If it made her happy... ErwinMcLam. It didn't sound so bad. He could get used to it, after a while. And anyway, no one was going to know, except the two of them. It wouldn't really change anything. He nodded. She smiled. When she smiled, she looked quite pretty.
He found out how wrong he was during dinner. She told everyone. From the youngest freshlings to the oldest soon to be Harrowed, every single apprentice knew. He always wondered how he managed to restrain himself from killing her.
"Why did you do that?"
"Because now it's official. Now it really is your name."
oOo
Three years later she was the first girl he kissed. He hoped it was her first kiss as well... but he never found the courage to ask. Some things were better left unasked. Since then they were an item. There was a rare agreement among the apprentices and mentors in the Tower, when the rumour spread: Itwasabouttime.
oOo
He was going to be late. Good. The less time he would have to spend on that boring lesson the better. Why did Irving insist on him attending these lessons anyway? He was sure that he knew ten times more than most of his mentors. There were so many more interesting things to do than sitting in the classroom and listening to Cimexe. Being with Daria, for example. Or –
He stopped and tilted his head. There was a little boy sitting at the corner, hugging his knees and softly sobbing. And what a weird little boy it was. He was white, first of all. Not just pale. Everyone who lived in this prison was pale. White. And his hair was violet. Really weird. But it had nothing to do with him. The kid had probably argued with his friend and now he thought it would last till the end of their lives.
But just as he wanted to move forward, the boy lifted his face and carefully peeked around the corner. Whatever was there scared him again and he buried his face in his arms, whimpering. What could have been so terrifying there? He peeked as well, but there was nothing special. He looked at the boy thoughtfully and then crouched next to him.
"What is wrong little one?"
The boy looked at him – Maker, what eyes. The biggest and cutest and purpliest eyes he had ever seen. "There are Templars," he whispered, as if 'Templar' was a synonym for 'worst demon'.
He frowned. Greagoir was strict and required absolute discipline from his Templar, but there always were a few fools who thought they could abuse their power over the mages however they liked. However, they usually picked pretty girls. Not little elven weirdos. He peeked around the corner again. He knew those two. Ser Donald and Ser Patrick. They were among the best of the lot, always kind and joking.
"Have they hurt you?"
The boy shook his head. "They did not see me," he said.
Later he could never understand how he could have been so stupid. He should have realized. He should have asked. Instead he acted like a total idiot. "They are really nice guys, you know. Come, I will take you to them and – "
"No!" The boy jumped up. "No, please, ser! Don't give me to Templar!"
"What?"
The tears were rolling from those big eyes and the kid was shaking wildly. He only wanted to calm him, but when he reached his hand, the boy pulled away from him, looking around, like a scared little animal. Of course it attracted the attention of the Templar.
"Hey! You over there! What are you doing?"
The moment the boy realized the Templar saw him, that they were coming over, he bolted in the opposite direction. Ser Donald looked after him, surprised.
"Who was that? Why did he run? What did you do to him?"
"Me? Nothing! He was scared of you, if you want to know. Some weird elven kid, with funny violet hair. Never saw him here before."
"Of me?" Ser Donald sounded offended. "Now watch your tongue, brat. I've been serving here for almost twenty years and I've never scared any child."
"Well you scared this one," he snapped, shrugging. "Now if you'll excuse me. I have to go to my lessons."
oOo
During the day he almost forgot all about the weird little guy. Then in the evening, just as he wanted to finally spend some quality time alone with Daria, there was a knock on the door and before he could cast a spell to lock it, it opened. It was a boy he had never seen before, shuffling his feet nervously.
"Hello. I'm Jowan. I am sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," he squeaked.
"But you did. I recommend you get lost."
The boy looked as if there was nothing he would like to do more, but he didn't move. "I'm looking for Air."
"I don't know anyone with such a ridiculous name," he said.
"Neither do I," said Daria. "Who is it?"
"Airam was supposed to have his first lesson with Magister Cimexe, and he didn't come back. I am really worried. It's already dark. He will be afraid."
"Don't lie, brat. Magister Cimexe gives lessons only to Elites. And I assure you there was no one of that name in the lesson today. And I'm also sure none of the Elites would be so stupid to be afraid of the dark. Now get lost."
"But he is one of the Elites. Starting today. And I know he went to the lesson. I left him near the herbalism classroom. I couldn't bring him all the way to the classroom, because I would be late for my own lesson, but it's not far from there, is it? Just behind the corner."
Behind the corner... Could it be that kid? One of the Elites? "That... Airam, was it? He's a tiny kid, with violet hair?"
"So you saw him?" Jowan sounded relieved. "Please, where is he?"
"I saw him only in the morning. He was crying in the corner, said he was afraid of the Templar. Poor Ser Donald, it had never happened to him before," he chuckled.
"He was afraid of Ser Donald?" Daria laughed. "That man wouldn't hurt a fly."
"And you're supposed to be clever?" Jowan looked really angry now. "He's afraid of every Templar. He's only been in the Tower for two months. I was there when Templar carried him in, unconscious. I don't know what they did to him, but he had a lot of bruises. I think they beat him."
He exchanged a quick look with Daria. He had never felt more ashamed.
OOo
It took the three of them almost two hours to find him, hiding in a cabinet in one of the empty classrooms, his face and robes all wet with tears. It was good Daria was there, he had never been good with kids. Besides, when little Airam saw him, he almost wet himself. It took a lot of explaining and convincing till the boy believed that Erwin would not give him to the nearest Templar.
"I will not hurt you," he repeated over and over. "And I won't let anyone else hurt you either. I promise. I will protect you. All right?"
The boy just hiccuped and hid behind his friend.
oOo
He meant that promise and he kept it as well as he could. It was the first time he had someone to care after. It wasn't easy to win the trust of the little elf at first. But Jowan trusted him, and for little Airam, his friend was the greatest authority in the Tower, second only to the First Enchanter. Once he truly accepted the fact Erwin was not going to give him to Templar, they became... well, not exactly the friends. There was ten years difference between them, after all. He had no intention to spend his free time playing hide and seek. Once was enough, thank you very much.
But they still spent a lot of time together. He was helping him study, protecting him from bullies, teaching him how to defend himself against teasing. Trying to make him laugh. That turned out to be quite a challenge. It took almost a year.
Only much later he realized he was trying to do what, a lifetime ago, when he was still a future Bann, the real Erwin did for him.
oOo
He was Harrowed shortly after his nineteenth birthday and he got a lot of interesting offers immediately. Had he wanted to leave the Tower, he would be able to do so right the next day. It was a big scandal when he announced he was going to stay in the Tower. Everyone said it was a waste of his talent, a madness, and they were asking Irving to intervene and force him to go. The old man frankly refused to do anything like that, which caused a lot of talk and suspicion. For some time there was even a rumour going through the Tower that he and the First Enchanters were lovers. Hilarious.
The real reason was known to only a few people. It was simple, in fact. The reason he decided to stay was because his real lover was not Harrowed yet. They all knew about Daria, of course. And yet they could not understand it. To throw away such great opportunities to get out of the Tower, to be successful, to be someone just because of a lover was preposterous. At least that was the general opinion. Mages were not supposed to have serious, long-term relationships.
Back then it seemed like a joke.
Daria's Harrowing was only one year later, but by then a lot of people lost interest in him. Many were annoyed, considered him arrogant and too haughty and said he would be a bad assistant. He didn't really care. Especially since Irving told him about the money his parents were putting aside for him shortly after his arrival into the Tower. Of course, it was not because of love. There was a condition: he must never contact any member of his family in any way, direct or indirect, nor reveal his true identity to anyone else.
"They didn't have to do that. You know I've never used that name and I certainly won't start now."
Irving grinned. "Yes, but they did not know that. I might have forgotten to mention it to your father, when he visited me to discuss it."
In the end they stayed in the Tower for four years more than he would once think. Daria worked as a mentor, he was a part of a research team... though it sounded more interesting than it really was. Still, the delay was worth it. Whatever other people thought, they were not wasting time. They were carefully preparing their own project they would do once they get out. Two, in fact – one they would want to truly research and the second that would be their cover story for the Circle and the Chantry. The Tower had the best library in the whole of Ferelden, why not use it while they still could? It would make things much easier once they decide to really start.
The rest of the time they spent 'playing happy family' with Airam and Jowan, as Niall often teased them. Niall was the only one of his peers who also stayed in the Tower. All the others were already gone, and he had no information on how they were doing.
Shortly after he turned twenty-three, almost exactly on the anniversary of his Harrowing, he gave Irving the proposal of the project and the request to leave the tower. It caused another scandal, of course. Especially the mages that never got out were extremely nosy and wanted to know everything, where would they go and what they would do. They were all soveryhappy for them and wishing them all the best. Jealous double-faced fools.
oOo
One person was not happy, however. Airam was crushed when he found out, though he tried hard to seem calm. "So I will never see you and Daria again?"
"Of course you will see us. It won't take much longer and you'll be out. And when you do, I'll be there waiting for you. "
"But that will take years."
"It might seem far away now, but it will be over quickly, you'll see. In the meantime, I'll be writing you letters. All right?"
"You will? Is that allowed?" There was finally a hint of hope in Airam's voice.
"Weeell, no, technically it's not. But I convinced Irving. I can tell you now, I guess – from tomorrow he'll personally supervise your further education."
Airam smiled a little bit, but he could see he didn't fully convince him.
oOo
Being outside after seventeen years was... weird. He had already forgotten what was it like, to feel the warmth of sun on his skin, to hear the wind rustling the leaves of the trees, to smell the soil after a light rain. For Daria, it was totally new. She was one of the 'Circle babies', separated from her parents at birth and moved to Ferelden.
But the weirdest were the people. They were not used to being among people who were not mages or Templar, who were afraid of them. After unpleasant experiences in two villages they went through, where people accused Daria of being an 'elven demon who came to steal their children' they decided to keep out of the villages and settlements. They bought as much supplies as they could... of course, none of them had ever camped in nature before, so they bought a lot of useless things and forgot to take the really important ones. But they were enthusiastic and determined and it didn't seem like such a big deal. After all, they were mages, two of the best in the Tower – what could be so difficult about camping in nature?
It took them almost a month to reach Denerim, sunburned and exhausted. But happy.
They went to the address Irving gave them. It was the house his parents gave him, he explained. He was surprised to see that it was a very nice and comfortable mansion – he expected some plain little house. Daria suggested it was perhaps a sign they still cared about him. He doubted that. For that man, it was probably a question of pride.
Several days later, they were on a walk in the city park when they saw a woman with a young man. Daria nudged him. The young man looked like his younger version. And the woman... He still recognized her. His mother. They all stopped and watched each other in silence, for a moment. The woman looked as if she wanted to say something to him, but didn't find the courage. The young man – his brother – was watching him curiously. Did he even know? He doubted it.
"Come, Amir. We have to go. Father is probably home already."
"Yes, mother."
They moved forward, each their own way.
Since then, they would occasionally see them in the park, nodding briefly in greeting as they walked by. They never spoke together.
oOo
Life outside was so different from what they expected. There were so many things they didn't know. And the more they learned about how it worked the more disappointed they were. Money. Everything seemed to be focused only on that. Some of their friends who had been out for some time already tried to help. Some of the others were jealous of their luck and tried to cause problems.
But he was not a prodigy for nothing.
Soon enough, they knew enough and decided it was time to do something. Together with a few loyal friends they started to support the Mage Collective, helping mages to become more independent. More free. It was half illegal, but the Chantry was aware that if they openly tried to destroy it, they would have to deal with a rebellion of mages. And that would not be good – the situation in the country was not stable. The king had no heir and there were already dissatisfied voices against the Theirin line. Give the nobles reason, any reason, and there would be a civil war. Luckily, the Grand Cleric was intelligent enough to realise it.
It didn't mean there were no consequences. It was clear that he and Daria would never be allowed to have a proper wedding. Daria often said it didn't bother her, but she always looked so sad. And if they ever had a baby, it would be a real problem. The Chantry would do everything to take it away from them immediately after it was born. They made a vow they would never allow that. They had a plan – the moment Daria was sure she was with child, they would leave to Antiva. The Chantry in Antiva was not so strong they would have a better chance to hide.
And so years went on and the tension in Denerim was growing. Soon, something would have to happen. He was sure of it.
oOo
All those years, he was writing letters to Irving and Airam. It wasn't possible to do it often, it would be suspicious. If the Templar found out Airam was in contact with a mage outside, he would be in trouble. But he was obliged to send the First Enchanter regular reports about the progress with his project three times per year. Every time he would put in also a separate letter for Airam, sometimes with a book or a little present.
The replies he got back, from both of them, were optimistic. Airam was definitely the most talented apprentice now, wrote Irving repeatedly. He could be Harrowed now, he wrote when the boy was fifteen. But to send a fifteen year old into the Fade to fight the demons... Irving was right to decide to wait.
And then he got the letter from Irving where he informed him he recommended Airam as a candidate for a Grey Warden and that the Fereldan Commander was coming to see the boy next week. He was furious. Yes, Grey Wardens were heroes, great warriors, it was an honour, blah blah blah. But he had never heard of a Grey Warden who had a normal life. Or who died of old age.
oOo
Then they heard of Ostagar.
Daria tried to comfort him. "We don't even know if he was recruited. Perhaps the Commander didn't like him."
"He would be an idiot not to recruit the most talented apprentice."
"And even bigger if he sent a fresh recruit into that battle. Calm down, honey. I'm sure Air is fine."
He wanted to hope... but he didn't dare.
But he knew one thing – the official version that the Teyrn Loghain – now the Regent Loghain – told was a lie. Irving would never cooperate with someone who was not loyal to the Crown. He wasn't the only one with suspicions. Soon a lot of people were openly saying that the Regent killed the King to usurp the throne. There were rumours that the King wanted to divorce the Queen Anora and find and a new wife that would give him an heir. And that the Regent betrayed the King to avoid that, that the Queen Anora was merely a puppet in the Regent's hands. That the Grey Wardens were innocent.
Of course, Loghain said these people were traitors to their country. He was not going to tolerate anyone threatening his beloved Ferelden. Several nobles were arrested. Several others disappeared without a trace.
The civil war that was hanging in the air for years finally started.
oOo
So when Jowan appeared at his door, accompanied with a Templar and told him that Airam was alive and on his way to Denerim, it was the greatest surprise of his life.
Airam was in the battle. But he survived, he and only one other Grey Warden. Who also happened to be the bastard son of the late king Maric. They returned to the Tower to get the support of the mages, just two days after Uldred started his rebellion. Then they went and saved Redcliffe from some weird undead monsters, and when they found out that Arl Eamon was ill, and went to find the legendary Sacred Ashes of the Prophet Andraste. Found them, as well. And right now he was on his way here, though it would take some time, Jowan explained, because he went to get the support of the Dalish, hoping to find them somewhere in the Brecilian Forest.
It all sounded too ridiculous to be true. Only when he heard Jowan's tale and read Irving's letter four times, he was ready to believe it. Irving asked him to help. As if there were any doubts about that! Of course he would help. He started with the preparations immediately.
Daria didn't look as happy as he would expect, however.
"What is wrong, honey? Airam is alive! He's coming here! Aren't you happy?"
"I am," she sighed. "Of course I am. But... I am with child, Erwin."
He stared at her. "I am going to be a father?"
"Yes."
"I am going to be a father! I am going to be a father!"
It took almost half an hour till he was able to stop yelling that, running through the mansion, hugging and kissing everyone he met.
When his brain finally started to work again, he realized why she was so worried. If they left for Antiva, as they agreed so long ago, they won't be able to help Airam. Their young friend would have to face Loghain and the nobles and all the complications of life outside the Tower alone. That didn't sound good and they abandoned that plan immediately. But to stay in Denerim would be too dangerous for Daria and her baby. Especially if they got involved in rebellion against the Regent.
No matter how they thought about it, they saw no solution. It was Jowan who pointed it out.
"Then go to Redcliffe. I am sure the Arlessa will understand and help you protect your child. And Alistair, the other Grey Warden is the future King and he doesn't like the Chantry very much, so I don't think you have to worry about the baby's future, either."
At first Daria wanted to wait for Airam, but their friend, a healer who already had some experience with pregnant women, advised against it. The more they delayed it, the more uncomfortable and dangerous the travel would be. Better to leave as quickly as possible. And so one week later, Daria left for Redcliffe, accompanied by several of his friends. Unless they meet the horde of darkspawn, she should be safe. But still.
It was a strange feeling, to see her leave. To be without her. He had never been without her for more than a few days and they always seemed too long. Now it would be weeks, even moths, before he could leave for Redcliffe as well.
Well then. The sooner they end this nonsense and bring order back into Ferelden, the sooner he would be able to enjoy his fatherhood. Loghain Mac Tir. The Archdemon. Both would soon regret making him their enemy.
A/N – few explanations about the first part where Erwin was a child. Growing up as a little noble in the middle ages was not fun at all. The education of started when they were 3 years old and it was very strict. It was not unusual for a child or 4-5 years to be able to read and write and speak several languages.
Children younger than 5 were wearing dresses regardless their sex. Around 5 years, the boys were 'breeched' and since then they were dressed the same way as their parents. They looked like miniature adults and they were expected to behave so as well.
Also, nobles looked suspiciously about any raw fruit or vegetables. The fruit like berries or red currants were consumed only in pies, or in the form of a jam or jelly. Raw things picked from trees or from the ground were only for the poorest.
Thanks to Brelaina for beta reading this. One day, I will learn where to stick that pesky 'the'. I'm sure of it. But I'm afraid it's still distant future. xD