Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama.
Note: Sorry for the delay with this one guys. Not only was it a rather long chapter, but my sleep cycle has been very off lately, so it made writing for a good chunk of time in one go kind of hard to pull off. Still, like always I was eventually able to get off my ass and stick to it. Five eps down, twenty one to go! Most probably expect me to now return to TDL3 … nope, not yet! I still have one extra chapter to go before then, a special side show of sorts. But, more on that later. Enjoy!
Simon Cowell called. He sends his disapproval
(Mines of Rebirth)
(Sublevel 1)
Arthur and Asa were at the dead-end he had come to the previous day and were currently looking through the stationary minecarts. Some were filled with ore, which may or may not have been fake, and so it took time to empty everything out to ensure that there was nothing hidden away. So far, they had found a couple of extra flashlight batteries and a set of rations.
"Boy, this is tiring work." Muttered Arthur, wiping a little sweat off of his forehead.
"It's not bad." Stated Asa, meticulously moving some ore.
"You're a jock, I'm an oddball. Of course it'd be easy for you." Chuckled Arthur.
"Mmm, I suppose." Shrugged Asa. "You're oddly normal for an oddball."
"Yeah … kinda." Chuckled Arthur awkwardly. "Say, can I ask you another question."
Asa could easily see that Arthur had avoided her question, but did not press the issue on account of not really caring.
"What's on your mind?" Asked Asa, still moving some ore.
"You mentioned liking hymns earlier. You religious?" Asked Arthur curious.
"I considerer myself Evangelical Christian." Shrugged Asa.
"Heh, religion and apathy?" Chuckled Arthur. "You kinda remind me of-."
"The football team already calls me Timothy Lovejoy. You don't need to feel pressured to do so too." Stated Asa. "Hmm, water canteen. Ok then."
"Got a favourite passage?" Asked Arthur, leaning over into a minecart.
"It's all good." Shrugged Asa.
Arthur decided there was no need to continue the topic, given Asa seemed rather uninterested in it.
"Heheh, check this out." Smirked Arthur, holing up a lighter. "And it's got fuel too. Nice!"
"Cool, now we just need the dynamite." Noted Asa. "Say, can I ask you something?"
"Sure. Like I said, talking takes my mind off this creepy mine." Nodded Arthur.
"Why did you get kicked off?" Asked Asa. "You're like the least odd oddball ever, so I assume you said something bad or revealed a bad secret or something? I dunno, just curious."
"Uh … it's not that interesting..." Stammered Arthur, looking nervous and uncomfortable.
"Your response is suspicious. However, I do not care enough to press." Said Asa, shrugging. "Ok, that's everything here. Let's go find some dynamite."
Asa walked off, putting in the earphones of her iPod while Arthur followed her, looking a little nervous, and also rather relieved.
(Confessional: She doesn't press things, she's no Phoenix Wright.)
Arthur: Thank goodness for Asa being so apathetic. (Arthur sighs). I've been thinking though, not everybody is gonna be apathetic … and when I return, what if the other Oddballs tell everybody my secret? I know Yazz wouldn't, but the others may. Urgh, I should have kept my mouth shut! This … will be tricky.
Asa: Arthur probably has a big secret, but it's his business anyway. (Asa shrugs) Privacy is a basic human right. I'm not gonna violate the feelings of my only ally here.
(Sublevel 4)
Goldie reached dry land and, after wringing her cloths a little, began to look over the chest. One failed attempt at opening showed that it was very much locked.
"Hmmm … eh, I can just hit it open." Chuckled Goldie.
Goldie began whacking the chest at the mine wall and also stomping on it, but it quickly became apparent that this was not working. The chest was simply too well made.
"Ok, looks like I need a key … wait a second … huh?!" Exclaimed Goldie.
It seemed that there was no keyhole to this chest. Goldie frowned; she shook the chest up and down, and something inside it rattled around, so it clearly was not a red herring.
"Maybe there's a keyhole underneath?" Shrugged Goldie as she flipped the chest over. "… Interesting."
Underneath the chest were five buttons. And on each one was the face of a camper from Brains VS Brawns. The faces were of Harmony, Sarge, Rai, Diamond and Ollie. Beyond that there was nothing.
"… Ok, now what?" Asked Goldie. "Do I press them or something?"
Goldie experimentally pressed the buttons in a random order.
Nothing happened.
"… I suppose that is one possibility eliminated." Muttered Goldie. "Only upwards of a hundred to go. Urgh, this is gonna be muy tedious..."
Goldie glanced around, and then shrugged.
"Well, not like I have anything better to do." Grumbled Goldie.
(Confessional: How many combinations are there anyway?)
Goldie: The annoying thing is that I kept forgetting what combos I put in. But, despite all the bull meirda, the thought of an idol possibly being inside kept me going.
(Sublevel 1)
Finneas came to a dead end. It seemed the passageway beyond the hole led to nothing much. Seeing this, Finneas marked it on his notebook map.
"Certainly a waste of time." Frowned Finneas. "I intended to play with logic and brain alone, but … without any facts given to me in this mine, mistakes seem inevitable."
Finneas grumbled, feeling annoyed that he'd been awake for several hours and not yet made any progress. However, before he turned to leave he spotted something sticking out from behind a pile of rubble. Finneas picked it up and saw it was a miner's helmet. One flick of the switch showed it worked.
"This could light the way forward. Hm, it seems brighter than the flashlight … it'll protect my head too … hey, it even takes the same batteries as the flashlight, and I'll have both hands free. Maybe this tunnel wasn't a waste of time after all." Mused Finneas, lightly smiling as he put the helmet on.
With that, Finneas took the batteries out of the flashlight and tossed it. That way, nobody else could use it. After that, he headed back the way he had came from.
(Confessional: What's harder, the helmet or Chris' skull?)
Finneas: It may not be one of the key items I'm looking for, but I'd be a fool to have not picked this miner's helmet up. If I can find anything that will even just slightly help me, I'm taking it with me.
(Maclean Academy)
(Sly Studiers)
(Kenny and Dale)
The two boys were in their rehearsal area, sitting on chairs and wondering what they could do for their act.
"Sooooo … any ideas what we can do?" Asked Kenny. "I was thinking singing, but that would rely on both of us having super vocal skills. Can you sing?"
"Not even a word." Replied Dale.
"Hmmm, we'll need to find something else then." Noted Kenny. "It, like, totally has to be something we can both do."
"Well, just saying it now, I know nothing about fashion." Smirked Dale.
"I guess that rules out a catwalk." Chuckled Kenny. "Well, we need to think of something we can both do. What can you do?"
"Nothing you'd be skilled at, trust." Stated Dale, shrugging.
"Hmmm … I just had an idea." Giggled Kenny. "I'm a big, buff and tough man, right?"
"Some would agree." Shrugged Dale.
"Meanwhile, you are a rather tiny guy. Five foot tall, I see." Noted Kenny.
"It has been mentioned to me." Snarked Dale.
"Well, it's it super obvious?" Winked Kenny. "I could just juggle you! I mean, I'm strong, you're small, we compliment each other in this kind of challenge! Sounds super, right?"
Dale thought this over.
"Well, sure. As long as you don't drop me." Warned Dale playfully.
"Don't count on that happening, honey." Winked Kenny. "Oh, by the way … a little birdie tells me that you are allied with Woody."
"I might be, what of it?" Asked Dale.
"Woody and me allied during the relay race challenge. We had a bit of a fancy convo, you see. Basically, what I'm getting at is that me and Orwell are allied, and Woody is with me right now, so you're free to hop on board with us. It's an alliance of four on a team of eight sweetie. Add that to the fact Orwell and Lola are starting to bond a little, and it means that we've got a cool majority. So … you in?" Offered Kenny, holding out his hand for a shake.
Dale grinned and shook Kenny's hand.
"I'd have to be mad to say no." Smirked Dale. "Who do we kick out first?"
"Well, we've don't have a plan set right now." Admitted Kenny. "But if you ask me, it'd be fabulous for the team overall if Yorkie left. She seems a little weak in challenges."
"Hmmmmm … ok." Said Dale cheerfully. "Yep, not letting that happen."
(Confessional: Somebody seems unhappy with being in the majority.)
Kenny: This is going great! I mean, I'm not the type to count my shoes before the sale ends, as they say, but right now things look good. I mean, even with Woody always voting in the minority, as long as he does not vote with the other three then my alliance will still come out on top. Bumps may happen, but right now I like the state of things.
Dale: Mmmm, yeah … no. A majority is nice and all, but a lot of fun ideas I have in mind are based around Yorkie, so … yeah, f*ck Kenny's plan.
(Woody and Yorkie)
Woody flexed in front of a mirror while Yorkie sat quietly on a sofa watching him.
"Heh, like what you see lil' girl?" Smirked Woody.
Yorkie awkwardly mumbled, not quite sure what to say.
"Ok, so, fun as watching me flex is for everybody, the viewers are expecting a talent show, and that's what we're gonna give them." Said Woody seriously. "We need to make it impressive, so … weight lifting, you get me? We just gotta live a couple dozen kilo's and that ten point score will be within our reach."
Yorkie raised her hand.
"Yeah?" Prompted Woody.
"Um, I can't lift that much. I mean, do I look like a physical threat?" Asked Yorkie, gesturing to her petite frame.
"No. But, neither did Bianca, and she won three immunities in a row." Shrugged Woody. "C'mon, it's easy."
To 'prove' his point, Woody lifted up the sofa with Yorkie sitting on it, not looking winded.
"… Cool." Noted Yorkie, looking impressed.
"Nothing to it." Smirked Woody, setting the sofa back down. "Ok, now you."
Yorkie raised an eyebrow.
"I'll make it fair and not sit on the sofa while you do it. C'mon, lift it!" Grinned Woody.
Feeling silly, but no less determined, Yorkie tried to lift up the sofa. However, after just a few moments her face was red and she looked tired.
"… This ain't gonna fly." Stated Yorkie.
"Man, I thought everybody could do that. Everybody I know can." Said Woody, raising an eyebrow.
"Who do you hang out with?" Asked Yorkie curiously.
"Body builders." Smirked Woody. "… Oh, wait..."
Woody sighed.
"Ok, do you have a talent suggestion? Since my talent sadly won't work, I'll do whatever. I won't like it, but if gets us immunity, I can pretend to." Said Woody as he sat on the couch. "Word for the wise, I can't dance."
Yorkie smirked.
"You don't need to, because we're going to be roleplaying!" Announced Yorkie.
Woody groaned.
"Gay!" Yelled Woody. "But, if it gets us the immunity..."
(Confessional: Swallow your pride Woody!)
Woody: My image means a lot to me. But lucky for this team, winning means even more. So, I dunno, I guess I can go along with Yorkie's crazy idea. I mean, she said fighting would be involved, so … eh, maybe it won't be terrible.
Yorkie: I'm not strong, or very social or … anything … but lucky for me, in this challenge none of that matters. (Yorkie clicks a pen) Time to work on thyn badass script!
(Boonie and Roana)
Roana sat on a chair, watching Boonie work hard on a new invention of some kind.
"So, because I like quoting Isabella … wat'cha doin'?" Asked Roana curiously.
"Inventin'." Replied Boonie.
"Cool. So, is it something brand new and never before seen? Because to invent implies it's something totally original." Said Roana, opening a can of some kind of mildly alcoholic soda. "Care for a sip?"
"I shouldn't. I need to focus, but thanks anyway." Said Boonie politely. "And, well … in that case, maybe I ain't so much inventin' as I am creatin'."
"But what is it exactly? A housefly translator?" Joked Roana.
"Nah, already got one of 'em at home." Chuckled Boonie. "It's a light machine, like one you might get at'ta party."
"I like where this is going." Noted Roana. "But how can I help? It's a dual act, remember."
"Hmmmm … I f'got about that." Admitted Boonie sheepishly.
"Boonie, you made a boo." Giggled Roana. "Oh, maybe I can dance while the machine does it's light show stuff? That'd count."
"That'd work. But, can ya dance?" Asked Boonie.
"I can do better than just that. I can yoga dance." Said Roana confidently.
Boonie paused again from working on the machine.
"… Hmm … interestin'. Can I get a demonstration?" Requested Boonie hopefully.
"Of course." Nodded Roana.
Roana took out her iPod, selected a track and turned up the volume. Some spacey New Age music began to serenely play. And so, Roana began to elegantly dance, assuming several complex yoga positions as she did so in a quick sequence. Boonie looked impressed.
"That's mighty cool." Noted Boonie, giving a thumbs up.
"Thanks. Say, think you could set the light machine to be blue and purple and stuff? Colour to music connotations matter." Requested Roana.
"I can certainly try." Nodded Boonie. "I really hope that this invention works..."
(Confessional: Dame of the Dance.)
Roana: I love talent shows. Back in grade school I always entered and received applause. Actually, now that I think about it, that's still the case in the present. All the more reason to believe we'll rock this challenge!
Boonie: I'm not too great on stages in front'a people, but this challenge should be fine as it'll be Roana and my invention gettin' the attention, not me myself.
(Lola and Orwell)
The two somewhat perverted teens sat at a table in a room, thinking what their challenges could be.
"First of all, are you ok on a stage?" Asked Lola.
"Well, it does feel weird when people stare at me, but I should be good." Replied Orwell.
"So many things worth staring at." Winked Lola.
"Likewise, naughty girl." Smirked Orwell.
The two both giggled, though this stopped when Orwell winced.
"Take a few breaths." Stated Lola.
Orwell did as he was asked and then visibly relaxed.
"Ok, a lot of my talents, well … they relate to stuff like trivia or computer programs. We probably won't be able to put them on a stage too good." Admitted Orwell.
"Regardless, I am sure that you'll have a fine presence in our act." Purred Lola. "Now, in that case, it seems we'll have to base our act around one of my talents … and luckily, I have one that looks good and looks good."
"You have my attention. Tell me more." Nodded Orwell.
"A magic act. I know I'm first and foremost a girl of science and thus I know magic is not real, but … it's fun and I very much enjoy sleight of hand kinds of things." Admitted Lola. "Plus, I have a magician outfit the audience might like."
"I did always enjoy costumes." Giggled Orwell. "Ack! No!"
"Naughty boy!" Smirked Lola slyly, before her expression softened into something more gentle. "If you don't mind me asking, why exactly do you have a phobia of sex? A bad experience? A fear of disappointing a partner? General squeamishness? Fear of commitment"
"Well … I don't know." Admitted Orwell. "I've never been taken advantage of or harmed, so it's not that. But of the other three … I don't know, I love the idea of it, but if I think about it then I just get full of nerves and start shaking."
"You might just fear what it represents and how emotional and significant it is. I would wager this phobia is based more around the idea of sex, than sex itself, so once you bang a girl, you may overcome it. Adding to that … why do breasts specifically unnerve you?" Asked Lola curiously. "I mean, they're probably yummy like lovely abs, but … they're not outright required for sex."
"… I really don't know. I never thought of the science behind it." Admitted Orwell.
"Good thing you've got me to explain it to you." Smirked Lola.
"In detail." Grinned Orwell. "So, back to the topic at hand, you mentioned magic as your talent?"
"Yup. I know just what to do." Assured Lola.
"Am I the lovely assistant?" Chuckled Orwell.
"Damn skippy!" Giggled Lola. "But if we lose … who are we voting for, do you think?"
"Hmmm, well the main alliance is us, Kenny, Woody and Dale … and I'm gonna assume you don't want to vote off the other Nerds. Unless the other guys have different plans, looks like it might be Roana." Stated Orwell. "Thought if you were ok with Boonie or Yorkie being targeted, the latter seems the more worthwhile target for short and long term strategy."
"Hmmmm … well, I was hoping to keep them on my side and not be a traitor, but … I've not spoken to either of them to a considerable degree, so I guess I'd be ok with it." Replied Lola.
"Excellent. I think we've just potentially guaranteed our merge spots." Said Orwell confidently. "Even if we lose a lot, the inner alliance will be me, you and Kenny."
"An alliance with two hot guys. Mmmm." Giggled Lola.
"Kenny is taken." Stated Orwell.
Lola did not looked put off and gave Orwell a wink.
"… Hot as you are, we really need to focus on the challenge." Said Orwell, awkwardly coughing.
"Oh! Yeah … kinda forgot about that." Chuckled Lola sheepishly. "Ok, let's get started!"
(Confessional: Birds of a feather, perv together.)
Lola: … Cut me some slack, he's cute. If he told me to stop, then I would stop immediately. But, he didn't tell me to stop … Orwell is like my 'spear counterpart', as they say. (Lola giggles)
Orwell: You know, it's an interesting thing. Both me and Lola are perverts, no point in denying it, but we show it in such different ways. I'm nervous and awkward about it, and she's goofy, sly and open about it. I find it interesting how those of a similar background can be so different. Makes the game more interesting.
(Dirty Dropouts)
Juliette had spoken to SARA, asking for some supplies for her planned act. While SARA went off to get things set up, Juliette was looking over ten knives.
"… Yeah, I have a bad feeling about this. Knives tend to be bad news when daredevils are involved." Chuckled Trevor awkwardly. "So, uh, what do you have in mind?"
"Ok, have you ever been to a circus?" Asked Juliette.
"Well, I had to drive the triplets to one once. It was a dark day for us all." Stated Trevor.
"Fun! Anyway, you know the act where somebody is strapped to a spinning wheel and somebody else throws knives at them?" Said Juliette with a rather cheeky grin.
"… Somehow, I don't know whether throwing the knives or having them thrown at me would be worse." Admitted Trevor.
"Don't worry, you'd throw them at me. You have a steadier hand than me." Assured Juliette.
"… That doesn't make me feel better! What if I hit you?!" Exclaimed Trevor.
"The risk will make us score higher. I'm just appealing to the fact Chris is a sadist. You do remember how dangerous the challenge in episode seven of season four was, right?" Reminded Juliette. "Gotta say, Chris is not up to his usual standard this season. I signed up to take on all his hardest challenges and throw them back in his face, but so far it's been … tame."
"Is that really a bad thing? I mean, the lack of risk of mutation or being stuck on an exploding island is fine by me." Remarked Trevor. "Look, I can't throw knives at you. And before you ask, I'd rather you not throw them at me."
"Well, somebody has to. We can't just not perform." Stated Juliette, sitting on a sofa. "Trevor, it'll be fine. You seem like a responsible guy … and I trust you to not hit me. It'll be fine."
"… I still feel nervous." Admitted Trevor. "Unlike you, I am not an adrenaline junkie or somebody who puts my life on the line for thrills. I'm very careful and meticulous."
"So … boring?" Smirked Juliette.
"Well, they do say that being fun and living past age twenty don't always go hand in hand." Said Trevor dryly.
"… You're good." Giggled Juliette. "I assume those triplets you look after like you?"
"Of course. Sure, I may be required to do what they ask of me, but they're so grateful and so sweet to me … I'd probably do as I do even if I didn't have to. They wanted me to go on this show and win, so … that's exactly what I'm gonna do." Said Trevor, smiling fondly at the thought of his wards.
"Sooooo … if throwing knives as part of a talent show was the only way to win, you'd do it?" Smirked Juliette oh-so-smugly.
Trevor could not help but lightly chuckle.
"I admit, I set myself up for that one." Sighed Trevor.
(Confessional: Think of the children!)
Trevor: I really wanted to do another act, but Juliette was adamant about this. I suspect she kept the argument going so we'd not have time to think of something else … or maybe she just likes to bicker. Well, either way I'm gonna be throwing knives at her … geez, that is one weird sentence isn't it? (Trevor chuckles)
Juliette: Those kids have the coolest butler ever. I mean, how many kids get to be taken care of by a butler who throes knives at cute girls? (Juliette waves to the camera). Lucky kids!
(Peach and Yazz)
Yazz sat at a table, speedily writing something on a sheet of paper. Peach looked over her shoulder, curious as to what she was writing.
"Wat'cha writing?" Asked Peach curiously.
"A song." Said Yazz.
"Why?" Asked Peach.
"For the talent show." Replied Yazz eagerly. "Wait a second … you can sing right?"
"Uh huh." Confirmed Peach. "Like an angel!"
"Good. Off topic, know any cool ways to die? It's for the song." Explained Yazz.
Peach pondered this question for a moment or two.
"Well … blowing up one's head from soda and those candy rock things would be kinda cool." Suggested Peach.
Yazz snapped her fingers and nodded in approval.
"Top marks." Smirked Yazz. "Oh yeah, you any good for remembering lines?"
"Well, like my wise Uncle Fred used to say, 'an elephant never forgets but I forgot what the elephant remembered'." Giggled Peach.
"… Good enough for me." Decided Yazz. "Say, uh … are you close to Trevor at all?"
"He's ok. Not my best friend, but he's nice. Why?" Asked Peach curiously.
"Apparently he might be going home if we lose." Explained Yazz. "Oh, drinking poison, gotta add that one in."
"Huh? Why would anybody vote for Trevor?" Asked Peach curiously. "I think there are better targets."
"If it makes you feel any better, Trevor isn't the only target. Some people want you gone too." Admitted Yazz. "I'm just going on what, uh … Sanjay, I think his name is? Yeah, I'm going on what Sanjay told me."
"Sanjay is a slippery boy! He allied with everybody on the preps … and then we all found out. Good times." Giggled Peach fondly.
"Noted." Said Yazz, looking thoughtful. "Funny little story, I've not got any allies right now … I mean, me and Fortune are close, but I don't know if we're officially allied given how our first vote went."
"What happened?" Asked Peach curiously.
"I'd rather not say." Admitted Yazz. "Anyway, which death sounds cooler? Being eaten by zombies or being run over by trains?"
Peach considered this.
"Zombies are overrated, so … trains." Suggested Peach.
"And luckily I have a great rhyme for that." Grinned Yazz.
(Confessional: How very morbid of you Yazz.)
Yazz: It's only common sense really. I like dark stuff and I enjoy singing. Why not just fuse both? The best things in life are fused … like Dingodile.
Peach: I should probably warn Trevor, huh? Though if I'm apparently a target too … should I? Hmmmm…
(Fortune and Sanjay)
Sanjay and Fortune sat across from each other at a table, talking over what the talent was going to be.
"So, any ideas?" Asked Sanjay.
"It must be something gimmicky. And it'll have to be better than whatever Peach is doing!" Declared Fortune.
"Not that I mind being the best, because I obviously am, but … why gimmicky stuff?" Chuckled Sanjay. "Why not something traditional and easy to score high with like singing, dancing or sucking up to Chris with a reading of a list of reasons as to why he is allegedly awesome?"
"Because I'm the season gimmick. Gimmicks like Beardo come to me for pointers!" Exclaimed Fortune.
Sanjay raised an eyebrow.
"Uh … you can play the game however you want, but wouldn't it be a tad better for your chances to focus and play smart? Fabulous gameplay leads to fabulous rewards." Said Sanjay logically.
"I only have a small chance at winning. If I play just like everybody else I may lose and go back home, forgotten. I'm a small town girl, so I need to take full advantage of being on TV. If I become popular, as many gimmicks do, then that means future opportunities after the show. Talk shows, guest spots on a quiz show, the whole she-bang! I wanna be famous!" Exclaimed Fortune. "I mean, I have the tits for it, right?"
"I wouldn't know. I've never really found tits that big of a deal. I'm more focused on winning, and looking good doing it." Chuckled Sanjay, smirking. "So … talent idea?"
Fortune giggled.
"Jumping jacks." Said Fortune seriously. "It hypnotises most beings with a Y chromosome into doing what the jack jumper wants … in this case, getting ten points."
"Sounds crazy enough to work." Snickered Sanjay. "But if we lose … wanna bump off Trevor?"
"Hmmm … yeah, ok. Gimmicks don't make their own strategic moves anyway." Shrugged Fortune.
"Then what do they do?" Asked Sanjay? "… Win?"
"Depends on how long their gimmick can go before getting old. That's why I might switch things up. You can't always expect my regular brand of gimmickyness and stupidity. I like to mix it up and keep people on their toes." Said Fortune airily.
"… You should ally with Trevor. It might just make his game harder." Snickered Sanjay. "Among other things."
"Naughty." Smirked Fortune.
"What can I say? Low hanging fruit." Chuckled Sanjay. "Oh yeah, minor note, stage fright is a thing for me. Can you stand in front of me?"
"I'd be a pretty poor attention whore if I didn't." Saluted Fortune.
(Confessional: Everybody will be looking at her…)
Sanjay: Fortune is a natural attention grabber. So while people gawk at her, I can slink on by, like some sort of smart and sexy slinky. (Sanjay chuckles) It sounded better in my head. The point is, cowardly though I may be, I have what it takes to come out on top of this team. I just need to be careful.
Fortune: (She is doing jumping jacks). ...I see you watching me!
(Patrick and Taylor)
The two ragers were sitting together. Patrick was playing on a 3DS while Taylor sat back in a chair, relaxing.
"So, we gonna figure out what we're gonna do?" Asked Taylor, slightly impatiently.
"No need. Our act is gonna need blind reactions from you." Stated Patrick.
"… I have perfect vision." Said Taylor flatly.
"… Look, just do as I instruct and we'll get a perfect ten, easy." Assured Patrick.
"Well, alright." Shrugged Taylor. "But if things f*ck up, we vote for Peach."
"Wasn't planning on voting anybody else." Smirked Patrick. "Now, just so I know for sure this act will work … are you familiar with the movie ET?"
"I saw it once as a kid. Sentimental sh*t, but pretty harmless." Shrugged Taylor. "Why."
"You'll see." Chuckled Patrick. "So … what sorts of games do you play?"
"I don't play any." Stated Taylor. "I watch movies though. Duel was pretty good sh*t."
"… You have video tapes?" Blinked Patrick.
"I come from a rural area." Stated Taylor as she started to set up some sand bags that had been in the room, and began wailing on them with her fists.
"The f*ck are you doing?" Asked Patrick.
"Don't act like you don't know. Pahkitew had Scarlet go f*cking insane, and last season the Cloaked Ass F*cker tried to shank Ollie with a sharp rock. If a fight breaks out, I wanna be sure I can win it and beat whoever starts it into the ground." Replied Taylor. "Fighting is fun."
"So, if Peach started a fight against you?" Leered Patrick.
"So much the better." Smirked Taylor, landing a Hard roundhouse kick into a sandbag, sending it to the wall where it came apart.
"… Perhaps I could train for a fight too." Mused Patrick.
"You? Fight? Don't make me laugh." Snickered Taylor.
"Hey, I'm The Nerd for a reason. Maybe if you teach me a couple fighting moves, I could teach you how to me smart." Offered Patrick. "We're allies after all."
"Eh, if you think it'll help." Shrugged Taylor. "Brains have never mattered for me, and I doubt brawn will for you … but, eh, f*ck it, if you think it'll help."
"Think of it this way, Peach won't be smarter than you." Smirked Patrick.
Taylor narrowed her eyes, looking pissed off.
"The f*ck did you just say?!" Barked Taylor.
"I mean, if Peach goes to private school and you, by your own admission, do not go to school … makes sense she'd be smarter." Chuckled Patrick.
Taylor scowled and kicked a chair over.
"Learn me up!" Demanded Taylor.
(Confessional: Jerkasses think alike.)
Patrick: Taylor is not just a kindred spirit of rage, but she's easy to manipulate. Just say Peach would be better at her if she didn't do something and she'll do it. (Patrick snickers) Plus, I like her bad attitude. We both agree Peach is a sh*tload of f*ck on legs.
Taylor: Teaching Patrick to fight? Yeah, that'll work. He's a f*cking shrimp! But, I like a challenge. I mean, I keep the farm going single handed anyway. Compared to that, this sh*t is easy.
(Talent Show)
A few hours later all of the students were back in the auditorium, ready to put on their acts. Chris sat at the judging table, and SARA stood beside him.
"Why can't I judge? I did last season." Stated SARA.
"You might be biased." Smirked Chris.
"Robots cannot feel bias, that's just a human emotion." Stated SARA.
"Oh really? You feel bias towards me all the time." Said Chris flatly.
"That's just my programming." Replied SARA.
"Oh, f*ck you." Said Chris idly, before turning his focus to the students. "Ok students, it's time to show us your talents! I'm being generous and assuming you have some. Haha! Anyway, SARA already randomly selected the order, so let's get started!"
Chris paused for effect.
"We'll be starting off with the studiers and alternating between them and the Dropouts after that, so … Kenny and Dale, you're up first!" Announced Chris.
(Confessional: My programming is to make smart remarks.)
Chris: I wish I could have been in the talent show. The viewers love me and I have a great talent … destroying SARA. (Chris snickers)
Kenny and Dale got up on the stage and in position for their act.
"For our act, I will be juggling Dale. Hope you like it!" Exclaimed Kenny.
Dale just wordlessly nodded to the audience, and with that Kenny picked him up and the act began.
Kenny easily tossed Dale up and down, juggling him with ease. Dale flipped into a variety of poses, and each time Kenny would catch him by the arm or leg and swim him back up into the air. It was rather entertaining to watch … to somebody, though clearly not Chris who looked a little bored. Seeing this, Kenny threw Dale high in the air. He closed his eyes and jumped up, landing into the splits and then caught Dale without looking at him.
"Ta-da!" Said Kenny cheerfully.
"Is that it?" Asked Chris dully.
"Um … maybe?" Said Kenny awkwardly.
"We could extend it if you want us to." Offered Dale.
"No need. I've seen enough." Replied Chris. "There were some near misses, but … it would have been better if Dale hit the ground. You get five points. You set the benchmark, but not the pace."
"Yikes. Guess we'll have to hope the rest of the team can pick it up." Murmured Kenny.
"Shit." Thought Dale in annoyance.
(Confessional: If Dale broke his back, Chris would so have given that a perfect ten…)
Kenny: I think the problem here was that me and Dale didn't have many talents in common with each other, or any at all really, so we had to improv. Maybe it would have gone better if we got different partners? Can't say for sure … but dang, this was an oopsie.
Woody: Eh, I could have thrown Dale higher.
The next act on stage was Juliette and Trevor. Juliette was strapped to a wheel and started to slowly spin clockwise while Trevor held several knives. He looked rather uncomfortable.
"Oh boy..." Muttered Trevor.
"This is gonna be awesome!" Cheered Juliette. "Ready to be impressed Chris?"
"Oh yeah!" Nodded Chris. "Begin!"
Trevor held up the first knife, gulped nervously and threw it. It hit the very edge of the wheel, nowhere near Juliette.
"C'mon Trevor! Closer than that!" Chirped Juliette.
Trevor gulped, took a deep breath and threw the second knife, which hit near one of Juliette's arms.
"Wooo! Awesome!" Cheered Juliette. "Faster!"
And at that, wheel began to spin around faster. Trevor helped up the third knife and gulped. He carefully aimed, attempting to get it at the very edge of the wheel.
Trevor threw the knife…
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and it stabbed into the wheel, half a centimetre from Juliette's neck.
"I can't do anymore." Said Trevor, instantly dropping the knives into a pile. "This is too dangerous."
"Awww, it was just getting good." Sighed Juliette. "Well, ok then."
"Kinda disappointing to see Trevor chicken out, but given the knife almost hit Juliette … seven points." Decided Chris.
"Asshole." Muttered SARA.
(Confessional: He made a good stab at it.)
Trevor: I know, I probably cost us some points there … but, c'mon, would any of you risk somebody's life for three extra points?
Juliette: I guess I can't blame Trevor for stopping … but, man, that adrenaline rush…
Next on the stage were Woody and Yorkie. Yorkie held a sword made out of plastic and wore a knight helmet, while Woody wore a monster mask and had a shield in hand.
"Our act is a roleplay scene." Explained Yorkie.
"It's just as dorky as you might imagine." Chuckled Woody. "Let us know when to start, and be amazed by my amazing acting."
"Sure, go for it." Said Chris, giving a hand wave.
With that, the two assumed their characters. Yorkie brandished her sword and pointed it at Woody.
"Your day of reckoning has come Troll Lord Acton!" Declared Yorkie the Light Knight, in a tone of valiant bravery and emotion. "No longer will your tyranny over the land of Willshire continue!"
"I'm gonna smash you just like I smashed your mum last night! She works for me now!" Yelled Troll Lord Action with rather 'wooden' acting.
"You put your sword into my mum?! Well then, allow me to put mine sword into thyn chest!" Yelled Yorkie the Light Knight, waving her sword threateningly.
"Bring it on, shemale!" Said Troll Lord Acton,
Yorkie the Light Knight winced. That had not been in the script. Nonetheless, she gathered her wits and charged into battle. Yorkie the Light Knight attacked with her sword aggressively but Troll Lord Action blocked every slash.
"You can't win, give up!" Boomed Troll Lord Acton.
"I'll never give up! Not when there is something worth fighting for." Declared Yorkie the Light Knight, landing another slash.
"Oh, and what might that be?" Asked Troll Lord Action blandly.
"Your defeat!" Grinned Yorkie the Light Knight. "Have at thee, for thy art toast!"
Yorkie the Light Knight landed what was meant to be the finishing blow, as was agreed unrehearsed, but instead was knocked back by a shove from the shield.
"Sorry, but this time the bad guys win." Smirked Troll Lord Acton, picking up Yorkie the Light Knight's sword and 'stabbing' her with it.
Yorkie was a little annoyed Woody went way off script, but remained in character, making melodramatic death sounds until she lay still.
"Best death ever!" Cheered Yazz from her seat in the audience.
"I agree, it was good to see the boring good guy lose for a change … even though, Woody, your acting was a little, heheheh, wooden." Giggled Chris. "Still, eight points!"
(Confessional: Not exactly Oscar winning acting.)
Woody: Hey, I know I said I'd go along with Yorkie's act, but I'm not letting myself lose the fight. As if I'd let a tiny gal like her beat this package. (Woody flexes)
Yorkie: I'll admit, I was a little annoyed Woody went off the agreed script. But, breaking character and complaining would have lowered our score, so I stayed in character.
Yazz: Now, if only that sword were real … oh, the possibilities! I wish I could have bought one of my swords in, but apparently there's a rule. It's a shame too, I spent years stealing them … just kidding, the only steal was the low price tag. (Yazz giggles)
The next duo to get up on the stage to perform their talent act were Peach and Yazz. Both held microphones and were ready to sing.
In the audience Patrick put on a pair of earmuffs and passed a second pair to Taylor.
"Want them?" Offered Patrick.
"Like f*ck I don't." Said Taylor gratefully as she put them on.
Peach and Yazz cleared their throats, and then began to sing in usion. The melody was soft, gentle and rather serene.
Take a bullet through the head
Get crushed by a wooden shed
Being turned to paste by runaway trains
Being zapped to ash by electric mains
Cool ways to die
So many cool ways to die
Cool ways to die-ie-ie
So many cool ways to die
Get impaled on a tall flagpole
Get viciously eaten by a mole
Go to the sun to get a tan
Go on a date with an obsessed fan
Cool ways to die
So many cool ways to die
Cool ways to die-ie-ie
So many cool ways to die
Get sat on by a piano
Get naked and play in the snow
P*ss off a zealot with a gun
Tell a girl that she weighs a ton
Cool ways to die
So many cool ways to die
Cool ways to die-ie-ie
So many cool ways to die
Play tag with a chainsaw
Go to North Korea for a tour
Irresponsibly juggle a katana
Oh, why did I eat that moudly banana
Cool ways to die
So many cool ways to die
Cool ways to die-ie-ie
So many cool ways to die
Eat too many super tasty beef burgers
Go on the street and lie about having aspergers
Be alive when the world ends
Get sucked down a black hole
Call Kim Jong Un fat
The last three may not rhyme, but they're quite possibly…
The coolest ways to die
Coolest ways to die
Coolest ways to die
Coolest ways to die-ie-ie-ie
So many cool
So many cool ways to die!
Peach and Yazz both took a bow, and smiled. Several audience members looked a little unnerved.
"My heart..." Winced Sanjay, looking pale.
"Boooooo! Stop stealing my gimmick shtick!" Complained Fortune.
"I kinda liked that. The rhyming was pretty good." Noted Roana.
"Super creative!" Exclaimed Kenny.
"It was pretty good." Nodded Chris. "Not gory enough though! And so … eight points."
"Good enough for me." Smiled Peach.
"Don't go down any dark alleys Chris." Winked Yazz.
Chris shuddered and glanced at SARA.
"I'm an assistant, not a bodyguard." State SARA smugly.
(Confessional: Not as catchy as the original.)
Yazz: (She just giggles, a big and creepy grin on her face)
Patrick: … Am I the only one surprised that Peach is good at singing? The earmuffs didn't cancel out everything … I hear Taylor muttering something, but I couldn't tell what it was. Eh, knowing her it was probably a sh*tload of f*ck … literally. (Patrick snickers)
Next up were Boonie and Roana. Boonie set up his invention on the stage and began to tweak it a little, and while he did this Roana stepped to the front of the stage.
"Our talent is a combo of a light show and some yoga dancing." Explained Roana. "Boonie built the machine, and I'll be dancing on stage. He has a bit of stage fright."
"I guess I can allow that." Shrugged Chris. "Ok, when you're ready."
Boonie turned on his machine and stepped off to the side of the stage. It emitted colourful lights in many shades of blue and purple. While this happened Roana selected a yoga track on her iPod and set it to the maximum volume. With that, the act began.
"Ommmmmm." Said Roana spacily as she began to dance.
As the light machine created many a pattern behind Roana and across the auditorium (looking like something out of a drug induced hallucination in the process) Roana began to dance. She was elegant and graceful, but occasionally got into a sort of rocking pose, before doing a spin and going back to her spacey movements.
"… She's dancing a little like the squid sisters." Noted Fortune.
"… The f*ck?" Muttered Taylor in confusion.
"Nice to see one of Boonie's inventions is working as planned." Smiled Yorkie.
"Yeah, but for how long?" Asked Dale.
At that moment it seemed, for the light device flickered and shined brightly, before exploding.
"YAAAARGH!" Screamed Roana as she was sent flying by the explosion.
Roana flipped multiple times in the air and, by pure luck, ended up landing on her feet in front of the judges table.
"… Ta-da?" Said Roana awkwardly.
"… Ah, what the heck? Five points." Chuckled Chris.
(Confessional: I'd have called it a ten point landing.)
Boonie: Well, that sure was lucky. That's what Ma calls a 'happy accident', I think.
Orwell: Hmm … if my math if right our score is currently eighteen, with a maximum score of twenty eight. Of course, the Dropouts have a score of fifteen with two acts to go … this could be a close one. I know I'm safe, but … numbers matter, y'know?
The sixth duo to go were Sanjay and Fortune. The former looked a little nervous to be on stage, while the latter seemed to have stars in her eyes.
"Um … y-y-yeah, we're next." Said Sanjay awkwardly, looking nervous.
"Behold the power of jumping jacks!" Exclaimed Fortune.
And with that, Fortune began to jump up and down, doing jumping jacks. Her boobs bounced as she did so. Sanjay followed her lead, but it was clear that Fortune was the one people were looking at (which made him feel less nervous).
The auditorium was silent as they watched.
"Ooooo..." Drooled Orwell, before whimpering. "Oooo..."
"Whoa, that girl has it." Smirked Lola in approval.
"What a sh*tload of f*ck." Scoffed Patrick. "Right Taylor?"
Taylor was silent, drooling a little with wide eyes. Patrick frowned and snapped his fingers in front of her.
"Focus on hating it!" Barked Patrick.
"Oh, yeah. BOOOOOO!" Yelled Taylor.
Chris stood up and beckoned for the two on stage to stop.
"I can see you're trying to use sex appeal to score high." Noted Chris. "However, it'd reflect badly on me if I gave you a high score. I can't give the cops more bait. Two points."
"Doh!" Pouted Fortune.
"I guess tits really aren't everything." Chuckled Sanjay.
(Confessional: Try telling that to most teenage boys.)
Sanjay: ...Yeah, somehow I don't think I can be blamed for that one. (Sanjay snickers) It was all Fortune, not me. So if Trevor isn't a likely option, I can just send Titzilla home.
Taylor: (She shrugs). She may be annoying as f*ck, but she's still hot.
The last duo for the Sly Studiers was Lola and Orwell. Lola had dressed up in a rather sexy purple magician outfit while Orwell was wearing a magician's top hat. Orwell tried not to stare at Lola's rump and mumbled nervously to himself.
"Welcome to the show! Thanks for coming everybody … not that you had a choice." Chuckled Lola. "Ready to see some magic? Assistant … the top hat please."
Orwell nodded and handed the hat to Lola. Lola took the hat and did a sensual spin, before showing the hat to the audience.
"Look very carefully." Said Lola, before tapping the hat. "Abra ka cliché!"
Lola placed the hat down on the stage and slowly pulled it up. As it was pulled up something began to appear from within it. Once the hat was fully raised Ruth stood on stage.
"Give her a round of applause!" Exclaimed Lola.
The audience applauded, looking impressed and, after shyly waving, Ruth was tapped by Lola's wand and disappeared into a puff of smoke.
"Now then … assistant, the box!" Requested Lola.
Orwell ran off stage and then wheel on a box. Lola gave him a sly look and gestured for him to step inside. With a shy grin Orwell did as asked.
"Once again viewers, I ask you to watch carefully." Smirked Lola.
With that, Lola reached behind her and took out a stick of dynamite from nowhere which was lit. With a giggle, she tossed it in with Orwell and slammed the door shut. The audience gasped as the box began to shake as Orwell struggled within.
BANG!
There was an explosion and the box opened as smoke billowed out, no sign of Orwell…
"Oh em gee!" Gasped Kenny.
At the edge of the stage there was a puff of smoke and Orwell appeared waving to the crowd.
"That's what I call magic!" Grinned Lola, swaying her hips a little. "Thank you, you've been a lovely audience."
"Don't look, don't look." Thought Orwell, trying not to look at Lola's ass. "Eyes on the prize … the non-sexual prize!"
"Not a bad act, though I have no idea what Ruth was doing here." Said Chris, looking confused. "I'll give it … eight points. And now, time for the final act!"
(Confessional: There's magic, and then there's magic.)
Orwell: So, that's twenty six points overall … not bad. As long as the Dropouts don't score ten points, or nine, then we've got this. Yes!
Lola: Ruth was not actually here, and I wasn't really holding dynamite. See, BARA was backstage and emitting holograms onto the stage itself. I checked this over with SARA and there was no rule against it. Not a bad result, eh?
Patrick and Taylor were the final duo to get on stage for their act. Taylor sat on a chair, Atari controller in hand, with the controller itself plugged into DARA who had the ET game running on its screen. Taylor pressed the start button and the game began, while Patrick began to narrate.
"ET for Atari. Now there's a load of elephant sh*t." Scowled Patrick. "Am I being too harsh? I dunno, you tell me … should I be nice to a game that nearly destroyed all gaming in America?"
In the game ET came down in his ship and stepped out. Taylor looked confused.
"The f*ck is that thing?" Muttered Taylor.
"As we can see, the graphics are like a heaping pile of sweaty unicorn diarrhoea, even for the time it was made. They had one guy make the game is about four weeks to make the Christmas rush … and he'd not even seen the movie. Greed and gaming … they shouldn't be f*cking mixed."
Taylor moved ET on screen and fell down a hole, wincing at the sound it made.
"… Ok, how do I get out?" Muttered Taylor.
Taylor pressed one of the button and ET began to float in the air and then exited the pit … only to fall back down again.
"Hrrrm." Frowned Taylor.
And again.
"Grrrr..." Growled Taylor.
And again.
"URRRGGH!" Yelled Taylor.
… And again.
"F*****CK!" Roared Taylor.
Patrick shook his head and sighed.
"Falling down pits is inevitable, but being able to get out of them? Not so much. It'll go on and on … it's like never ended stream of crap that leaves you an empty shell." Scowled Patrick.
Taylor finally got out of the pits and soon had collected several phone pieces. But then an FBI agent appeared on screen and stole all of them from her. Taylor twitched, looking furious.
"F*CK THIS PIECE OF BULLSH*T!" Screamed Taylor as she threw the controller at SARA's screen.
"Temper, temper." Drawled SARA.
"Temper is good!" Announced Chris, laughing. "It did feel a little big cliché at times though as anybody can get angry. But that was pretty funny, so I give it…
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eight points!"
Everybody was silent for a moment before Chris continued.
"And that means the final scores are…
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Sly Studiers twenty six and Dirty Dropouts twenty five! SLY STUDIERS WIN IMMUNITY!"
The Studiers all cheered in triumph at their victory while the Dropouts all looked disappointed.
"Dropouts, meet me at the principle's office at sundown." Stated Chris. "Now, before you all go … time to reveal another twist of the season!"
"Dun, dun, dun." Said SARA in monotone.
(Confessional: That's why you should study hard!)
Taylor: You mean I played that piece of sh*t for nothing!? (Taylor screams)
Patrick: Hrrrm … f*ck. Well, if nothing else I probably saved these people from playing that awful game. Plus, we can vote off Peach, so that's a thing too.
Kenny: Hooray! Super start for this team! (Kenny cheers). But, what could the twist be … hmmmm, better be careful. You never can be too sure of things when Chris is around.
Roana: Yes! The party continues for at least one more day!
Once everybody was settled and seated Chris got on the stage and took out a necklace. It was made from a gold chain and had a golden A on it.
"This is the immunity necklace." Announced Chris. "And, it's part of a new twist … the Immunity Conga Line!"
Chris paused and held the necklace up where the students could all see it.
"Here's how it works. The immune team will choose somebody from the losing team to give the necklace to. That person will be immune from elimination that night." Explained Chris. "The holder of the necklace chooses who it goes to. Additionally, if a team loses multiple times in a row, the holder chooses a teammate to give it to who, if a third loss happens, chooses who gets it the next time, and so on. Also, nobody can hold the necklace twice in a row."
"And that was exposition bought to you by Chris." Snarked SARA.
"Shut up." Muttered Chris. "So, Studiers, who are you gonna give the immunity to?"
The Sly Studiers quickly stood and moved to the side to talk quietly so that the dropouts could not hear them.
"So, anybody got any suggestions?" Asked Dale.
"Hmmm … I'm not sure." Admitted Yorkie.
"We'll have to play it smart." Stated Orwell. "Maybe give immunity to somebody who could hinder them?"
"Like Fortune?" Guessed Lola.
"Nah, she just hinders me." Mumbled Orwell.
"Chris looks impatient, we better decide quickly." Stated Roana.
"Why not just give immunity to somebody who we can tell will annoy them and hold 'em back?" Suggested Boonie. "Makes sense to me."
"That is, like, a great idea, hon." Nodded Kenny. "And, I know just who to give it to."
"Who?" Asked Woody. "All of those guys are pretty pitiful."
Kenny turned to Chris.
"Hon, we've made our decision." Said Kenny with a wink. "We'll give immunity to…
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Peach!"
Peach clapped her hands with a smile.
"Why thank you very much." Said Peach with a smile like sunshine as she caught the necklace once Chris tossed it to her.
Taylor looked a little red in the face and Patrick sighed.
"Dammit." Muttered Patrick.
"And that's a wrap!" Announced Chris. "Peach is also safe, and next elimination round she'll be passing on immunity to a team mate or a member of the Studiers. Until then, see you Dropouts at elimination!"
"Don't forget to study." Added SARA.
(Confessional: They're Dropouts. By definition they do not study.)
Orwell: Hmmm … maybe I should try getting on Peach's good side so that if we lose I could get the necklace? Only issue is … D cups… (Orwell shivers)
Woody: ...Yeah, I really want that necklace. My old team got intimidated by me, and this team might as well. (Woody flexes)
Lola: All in all, not a bad day!
Peach: That was so nice of Kenny! I owe him! ...Maybe I could bake him a pie?
Fortune: As if it wasn't bad enough Peach is stealing my gimmick thunder, but now she's an immunity hog too?! Let somebody else stand out!
Sanjay: Heheheheheh! Oh boy, here I go scheming again!
(Dirty Dropouts)
Sanjay had gathered Peach and Fortune to talk to them about a plan he had for the vote. Sanjay closed the door to ensure that they would not be walked in on by anybody.
"Ok, I gathered you two here because I wanted to talk to you about the vote." Explained Sanjay. "Have either of you decided who to vote for?"
"Nopesies." Replied Peach.
"Not anymore." Said Fortune, briefly glancing at Peach.
"I see. Well then, how would you feel about taking out Trevor?" Smirked Sanjay.
Fortune seemed to consider this while Peach raised her hand.
"Yes, you at the front?" Chuckled Sanjay.
"Trevor is our friend. Preps before … um … something that rhymes with preps? We can trust him." Insisted Peach. "In fact … can I trust you?"
"Maybe not … but you can trust me to eliminate people I deem as threats." Smirked Sanjay. "And why not get rid of Trevor? He's clearly right with Juliette, and I've noticed Juliette and Taylor seem to be able to interact ok, and Taylor is clearly with Patrick. That's an easy four vote block that Trevor has right there if he makes it official. There is no reason to not kick him off."
"He has a point. Kinda like a pencil." Noted Fortune.
"Um … ok then." Said Peach uncertainly. "Uh … I guess you know best?"
"Yeah, you bet I do." Smirked Sanjay. "I'm just gonna run this by Yazz. Four votes will be enough … and hey, if it's a tie I can work on distracting him. As Wishami could tell you, I'm a pro at being annoying."
"Always did like Wishy." Smiled Peach.
"She was such a gimmick, that she didn't even fit the season's gimmick." Added Fortune.
"Well, I'm glad to have you guys on board." Said Sanjay with a cocky smirk. "Here's to being Dropouts!"
"Here, here!" Exclaimed Fortune.
"I prefer being a Prep." Admitted Peach.
(Confessional: Money!)
Sanjay: This could really work. Trevor is my main opposition as, out of all my fellow Preps, he's the only credible game threat. He could be fabulous if given a chance! Yazz said she was totally on board, so … I guess the butler didn't do it. Win, that is. (Sanjay snickers)
Fortune: Hmmmm … I'm be completely normal to go with the plan, even if it is smart. How can I gimmick this up? Hmmm…
Peach: Um, this is a tough one. Sanjay makes sense, but he's a known liar and stuff … he's not even poor. Um … I'll just avoid Trevor. I simply can't keep a secret. (Peach smiles nervously)
Trevor and Juliette sat on the roof of their team's dorm, keeping distance from the edge at Trevor's insistence. Juliette was comforting Trevor over the challenge.
"Don't feel too bad about being unable to throw knives at me. Not everybody would be able to." Assured Juliette.
"I can't help but feel it might be my fault that we lost though. I mean, we lost by one point and I was the one who chickened out." Said Trevor, frowning.
"Not everybody can be a dare devil. I got that position covered." Chuckled Juliette. "You'll be fine."
"And if not?" Asked Trevor.
"Then we vote for somebody who also screwed up. Sanjay and Fortune scored the lowest, so why not one of them?" Suggested Juliette. "Got a preference?"
"Hmmm … you know what, I do. Let's vote for Sanjay. Take it from me, he can't be trusted." Stated Trevor.
"You sure you want to vote off a fellow Prep of yours?" Asked Juliette.
"Right now, I think it would be for the best." Replied Trevor. "I get the feeling he might want me gone anyway."
"Then let's do it!" Declared Juliette.
"Two votes won't be enough though. I'll talk to Peach, see what she says." Decided Trevor. "You gonna be safe by yourself?"
"Nope!" Grinned Juliette.
Trevor sighed.
"I was afraid of that." Said Trevor with a shake of his head.
(Confessional: North Korea is safer…)
Trevor: Yes, I am striking at Sanjay … but after how he acted on the Preps, I feel he is too risky to trust. Aside from that, he scored low. Making this strike is pre-emptive, but I know he'd probably come after me sooner than later.
Juliette: I kinda wish they'd pile the votes onto me. Imagine that … always being in the bottom two, but always surviving. That'd be sweet!
Patrick and Taylor were in the central area of the dorm building. Patrick was playing on a gameboy, while Taylor leaned against the sofa, a rather spiteful look on her face.
"Well … what the f*ck do we do now?" Asked Taylor.
"Let's vote for Fortune." Suggested Patrick. "She's useless, and I'm pretty sure most of the team knows it. She was terrible today."
"I wouldn't quite call it terrible..." Snickered Taylor.
Patrick snapped his fingers a few times.
"I don't have a problem with your interests, but I do have a problem with your lack of gameplay." Frowned Patrick.
"So? You're the brain, and I'm the Brawn." Shrugged Taylor.
"Clearly." Snickered Patrick. "Just vote Fortune, ok? I am not losing this show on account of tits."
"Of course I'll f*cking vote for her. I'm not bright, but I'm not stupid." Scoffed Taylor. "Also … why the f*ck did you make me play that game?!"
"I knew your reaction would score us points." Stated Patrick.
"Sadly, not enough." Muttered Taylor.
(Confessional: She should have gotten angrier.)
Patrick: This is gonna be one angry and crazy alliance, isn't it?
Taylor: People have told me before that I 'don't know what I'm missing' when it comes to video games. Well, I played one … and it's f*cking sucked!
Yazz was alone, sitting behind the dorm, building and watching the sunset.
"Just a couple billionaire more of those and we'll have a giant, Earth cooking explosion." Noted Yazz.
Yazz glanced around.
"… I wonder where everybody is?" Pondered Yazz. "Are they scared of me? If that's true, Sanjay must be braver than people think, given he actually spoke to me."
(Confessional: Imagine how good a supernova sunset would be!)
Yazz: I sure hope I didn't scare my team away. That'd probably be bad.
(Principle's Office)
The eight members of the Dirty Dropouts sat on seats that had been set up. Some of them looked confident, and others less so. SARA stood off to the side while Chris sat behind the principle's desk.
"Welcome to elimination Dirty Dropouts! Haha! Bet you wish you studied now, huh?" Teased Chris.
"How does one study for a talent show?" Asked Taylor gruffly.
"Rehearsing?" Suggested Peach.
Taylor did not respond.
"So, before we get voting, I'd like get get interrogating" Said Chris cheerfully.
"I question the sanity of whoever gave you an interrogation licence." Drawled SARA.
"Shut up." Muttered Chris.
Chris paused for a moment.
"Fortune, you did pretty poorly today. Think you might be in for some bad fortune?" Teased Chris.
"Well, you know what they say … the unfortunate players get screentime." Winked Fortune. "Generally people get a ton of screentime in their elimination episode."
"Juliette, you nearly took a knife to the neck in your act. How would you describe all that in one word?" Asked Chris.
Juliette smirked slyly.
"EXTREEEEME!" Cheered Juliette.
"Sanjay, how are you basing your vote tonight?" Asked Chris.
"I decided to take out a weaker player and a threat in one go. I only do what makes sense." Winked Sanjay.
"Even though you allied with everybody on the preps?" Asked Peach innocently.
"What makes sense is very fluid." Stated Sanjay.
"Patrick, as the only Nerd here do you think that makes you an easy target for your team mates?" Asked Chris.
"Not if they want to win. As I'm the only Nerd here, simple math tells you I know the inner workings of three members of the opposing team. I'm useful." Stated Patrick matter-of-factly.
"And, last question … Peach, do you feel you needed immunity tonight?" Asked Chris.
"I don't know about that, but I do know that I love how shiny it is." Said Peach with a smile.
"I guess that's enough questions." Decided Chris. "Didn't get many answers, but we're on a time limit."
"And now, voting time. Chris's favourite time of the day." Added SARA.
"You know it." Smirked Chris. "Enter the voting door over there and cast your vote. Like I've said, it's soundproof so you can be as loud as you want."
Chris' gaze lingered on Patrick and Taylor for a moment.
"Anyway, Trevor, you're up first." Stated Chris.
Trevor nodded and headed to cast his vote.
"Sure hope this will all work out." Said Trevor to himself.
Once Yazz had cast the final vote the eight members of the team sat, awaiting the outcome. Chris tallied up the votes quickly and then returned. He sat back down at the principle's desk and took out seven sticks of strawberry gum from one of the drawers.
"When I call your name I will toss you a stick of gum. This means that you are safe." Stated Chris, "The person who does not get a stick of gum is out of the game and will go through the Door of losers and then take the Suck of Shame."
"Suck of Shame?" Asked Yazz with a giggle.
"I like the sound of that." Snickered Sanjay.
"Shush." Frowned Chris.
"I told you it was a bad name." Drawled SARA.
"Oh, whatever." Muttered Chris. "The following people are safe..."
"Peach, of course."
"Patrick"
"Juliette"
"Yazz"
"Taylor"
"Fortune"
Trevor and Sanjay were both left without a stick of gum. Trevor took a deep breath whilst Sanjay trembled a little. Chris held up the final stick of gum for them both to see.
"This is the final stick of gum." Announced Chris. "Only one of you can move on to the final fifteen and that person is…
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neither of you, because there was a tie!"
Both Trevor and Sanjay looked nervous.
"A tie?" Gulped Sanjay.
"Oh boy." Chuckled Trevor. "If I lose now the kids are gonna let me have it."
"If?" Smirked Sanjay, trying not to show his nerves. "So … what now?"
"Time for a tie breaker!" Announced Chris as he reached below his desk and two out two special helmets. "These VR helmets will put you in a fearful situation that is specific to you. Whoever takes off their helmet first loses."
"Well … I guess that's ok." Noted Trevor.
"Yeah, it's not real." Added Sanjay.
Yazz looked at the helmets with an intrigued expression.
"Cooool! I so gotta buy two of those for me and Delsin!" Exclaimed Yazz.
"Ok then … out 'em on!" Announced Chris.
"And don't try to close your eyes, it won't work." Added SARA.
The two boys put on their helmets, and it was not long before both were wincing.
Trevor was alone in the ballroom of the Mallori Mansion. All was quiet, except for the piano playing a slow melody, one note at a time. There was also the sound of dripping.
Blood dripping.
Trevor gasped in horror at the sight of the triplets, all dead on the ground, their blood dripping from a very red chandelier. Trevor tried to scream, but no sound came out.
The parents walked into the room and gazed at Trevor in hatred.
"Look at what you've done." They said in usion.
Sanjay was on a small boat in the middle of the ocean at night. Thick clouds were above him. Sanjay shuddered, for he had a huge phobia of open water.
And then, the storm began.
The boat rocked and Sanjay screamed. Waster splashed into his mouth and eyes and before long he was knocked into the water. It may have only been VR, but he could still feel the water in his lungs.
A shark began to swim at Sanjay. With a shriek, he tried to swim away but only swallowed more water.
Both Trevor and Sanjay twitched and trembled s their team mates watched them.
"Fascinating." Noted Yazz with wide, eager eyes.
"… Eh, still better than the Virtual Boy." Muttered Patrick.
The two boys held out for as long as they possibly could, but soon enough both could take no more and took off the helmets … one of them lasting just a second longer than the other.
"And that's the end of that!" Announced Chris. "And so, the person going home is...
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"Get on with it!" Barked Taylor.
Chris frowned.
"The audience likes the pauses." Said Chris in annoyance. "Short and sweet, the person going out is….
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Sanjay!"
"Holy sh*t, that was close." Muttered Trevor, while Juliette patted his back comfortingly.
"Aw, dammit!" Cursed Sanjay. "Urrrgh, I couldn't even beat Wishami..."
"You did tie with her though." Smiled Peach.
Sanjay just grumbled as he got to his feet.
"Good luck. If a guy like me can lose this early, you're all gonna need it." Said Sanjay as he walked through the door of losers, shutting it behind him.
Once Sanjay was gone Chris turned to the rest of the team.
"I think the moral we can take for this is that past moves can affect your present. Always keep in mind that your chances of winning at relative to how you are seen." Stated Chris.
"In short, don't be scared." Added SARA.
The seven remaining Dirty Dropouts took their leave and headed away to their dorm room. They now had a number disadvantage … could they turn things around the next day?
(Confessional: Better than a fire making tie breaker, given it's indoors and all.)
Trevor: That was too close. One second earlier and I'd be gone. Sanjay must be braver than I thought to have lasted as long as he did … I wonder what he saw? (Trevor crossed his arms). Maybe the problem isn't Juliette being reckless, but me not being reckless enough … if I am to face another tie breaker, or general challenge, like that … I better be prepared. Juliette could teach me a little bravery, perhaps?
Yazz: (She holds one of the VR helmets). I know a certain boyfriend who will be having a good Christmas this year!
Sanjay stood on the red X in front of the door that housed the Suck of Shame.
"So … what now?" Asked Sanjay, looking bitter.
"Any final words?" Asked Chris as he stood off to the side holding a remote.
"Just that I wish I could be rid of this f*cking cowardice." Muttered Sanjay, before smirking. "Also, that I think you really need a makeover."
Chris frowned.
"Don't let the Suck hit you on the way out." Muttered Chris, pressing the button on his remote.
The door flung open and revealed the Suck of Shame which roared into life. With a scream, Sanjay was dragged forwards towards it and sucked right into the nozzle. Soon enough he was gone and his screaming disappeared, and the doors closed.
"I'm never gonna get tired of this!" Chuckled Chris.
"Causing pain is a surefire way for you to have fun, isn't it?" Noted SARA as it entered the room.
"And here I was worried you didn't know anything about me." Teased Chris.
"I wish I could say I didn't." Admitted SARA.
Chris shoved SARA to the side and turned to the camera.
"Sanjay's lack of nerve, and overplayed hand, screw him over, leaving us with fifteen players left! But, with the top three quarters left, the game can really start to get serious now. As deals are made and friendships form, the backstabbing will be starting any day now, you can count on that!" Chuckled Chris. "So, will Kenny's alliance take control of the Studiers? What plans does Dale have that involve Yorkie? Will Taylor be pissed off she has to keep putting up with Peach? Will Yazz scare any of her team as much as she scared Sanjay? And who will be the next student sucked out of the game?! Find out next time on Total Drama Cliques VS Cliques!"
"Still a better school than Bullworth Academy." Added SARA.
(Voting Confessionals)
Fortune: I vote Trevor. Why? I dunno.
Juliette: Sanjay isn't much of a risk taker, so … why not vote for him?
Patrick: Fortune, you're a pile of diarrhoea. Get out!
Peach: I want to trust Sanjay, buuuuut … he did try to backstab me on the Preps, and Trevor is more trustable, so … sorry Sanjay.
Sanjay: See ya later Trevor. Can't have you causing problems, can we?
Taylor: Fortune, tits don't win a million dollars.
Trevor: Adding to my stated reasons, I hear Sanjay is in fact targeting me. Guess I was right to make a pre-emptive strike, huh?
Yazz: Eh, we're all doomed anyway. What's the harm in speeding up Trevor's demise a little?
(Mines of Rebirth)
(Sublevel 1)
Arthur and Asa walked through a tunnel.
"Well, we looked all over this place and found nothing." Noted Arthur. "What now?"
"One of the other two must have what we need." Stated Asa. "We just need to find them."
"Where could they be though?" Asked Arthur.
"Beats me. I'm tired … lets just go around one more corner and then rest." Stated Asa.
The two rounded a corner and spotted an elevator.
"Whoa, how did we miss this?" Chuckled Arthur.
Asa did not respond. She took out the cables they had acquired and quickly set them up into their appropriate place. Power was immediately restored and the elevator doors slowly opened up.
"Shall we?" Grinned Arthur.
"Sleep first." Said Asa as she settled down on her belly, using her arms as a pillow. "Night."
Asa was soon asleep. Arthur sat down and leaned against the wall. His eyes felt heavy, but he was still nervous about being in the dark Mines.
"… The Beast could sneak up at any time." Gulped Arthur.
(Confessional: Not quite a clear floor yet.)
Arthur: I kinda feel like I'm the only one who is constantly thinking about 'The Beast'. What is it? How big is it? Is it guarding an idol? I'd rather not know, honestly…
(Sublevel 4)
Goldie was still putting in combinations to the chest. She looked very bored and had drawn out a bunch of symbols in the sand to show which ones she had put in.
"So tired..." Sighed Goldie. "… One more, and then bed..."
Goldie put in a final combination (the order in which the five pictured campers were eliminated in Brains VS Brawns) and there was a click. The chest was now unlocked.
"… Why didn't I think of that before?" Sighed Goldie. "More fool me. Ok, let's see what we got."
Goldie opened up the chest. Inside was what seemed to be a shiny ruby, and a small letter. Goldie looked at the ruby eagerly, looking it over. However, she then sighed.
"Damn. It's fake." Muttered Goldie. "Might be important though … ok, let's see what this letter says. Estúpido meirda mines..."
Goldie looked over the letter, which had just one sentence.
-Use ruby to get gold-
Goldie grinned, greed in her eyes.
"I like." Purred Goldie.
(Confessional; Technically, rubies are worth more than gold…)
Goldie: Yes! Things are finally looking up! I guess my luck had to improve sooner or later. (Goldie snickers). Ok … now I just need to find my way out of this area. The flashlight batteries won't last forever.
(Sublevel 1)
Finneas headed back to the main area, ready to settle in for the night. He gazed around and saw no signs of life.
"Huh … maybe I was wrong? Maybe it was another reward challenge today." Pondered Finneas.
However at that moment the Suck of Shame rumbled into life and after a few moments Sanjay was blasted out, landing safely on the cushions.
"Ack, not cool." Muttered Sanjay. "About as fabulous as crocks..."
Sanjay then glanced around, gulped and then sighed.
"Out of one hole … into another." Muttered Sanjay. "Where am I?"
Sanjay then noticed Finneas approaching him.
"Oh, hey." Greeted Sanjay. "Care to explain what's going on here?"
"That sign over there explains it. But the abridged version is basically that there are three Golden Chris Idols in this mine. If you have one when Chris gets here, you get back in the game. Basically, it's like Phoenix Island but in a mine." Explained Finneas.
"Yikes, this place looks grim." Gulped Sanjay.
"Scared of the dark?" Asked Finneas.
"That, and several other things." Muttered Sanjay.
Finneas helped Sanjay up to his feet.
"Ok, I've not seen any of the other three since I got here, so … how about we work together? I doubt anybody has an idol yet, and the numbers of people here are low … might be best that we work together." Suggested Finneas.
"Sounds good to me." Grinned Sanjay. "You lead and I will follow from a safe distance behind."
"Hilarious." Drawled Finneas. "We'll set out tomorrow and get some progress done. With my brains and your social skills, which I can only assume you might have, we could both get back into the game … along with a third player who hopefully will not hate us."
"Hey, sounds pretty cool to me, sweet cheeks." Chuckled Sanjay. "Soooo … what's your name, newfound friend of mine?"
"Finneas Fogg." Replied Finneas. "You?"
"Sanjay Raj." Grinned Sanjay.
And with that, the two shook hands, starting an alliance. How long would it last? Hard to say.
(Confessional: Serious and Silly, working together!)
Finneas: Sanjay seems … alright. Sure, a little childish and, apparently, somewhat cowardly. But, I'm ok with that. It just means I can take the lead and thus make sure this alliance succeeds. I can only hope this won't go as badly as Harmony and Trey's brief alliance did.
Sanjay: Heheheheh, Finneas seems like a smart guy … and smart guys solve puzzles and find idols. (Sanjay snickers … and then sighs, looking depressed). It happened again … my cowardice cost me something great … I wish I could be braver. (Sanjay hangs his head). ...I hate being me, sometimes.
Sly Studiers: Boonie, Dale, Kenny, Lola, Orwell, Roana, Woody, Yorkie
Dirty Dropouts: Fortune, Juliette, Patrick, Peach, Taylor, Trevor and Yazz
Mines of Rebirth: Finneas, Goldie, Arthur, Asa, Sanjay
ELIMINATION NOTES
SANJAY RAJ
Despite what some may think, I wasn't trying to make Sanjay hatable and despite the fact he was a schemer and a coward (two archetypes I admittedly don't have very much fondness for) I actually quite liked him. Despite being a schemer and rather smug, I felt he wasn't too unbearable, given how things blew up in his face and his rather camp and hammy nature was fun to write, and hopefully fun to read. He may not have been the most competent schemer, but he was hopefully one of the more entertaining ones.
As a schemer he was comical, but I feel what made Sanjay good was the way his cowardice was played. Rather than being a dirty coward willing to sell others out to save his own skin like Patsy from BvB, I tried to go with a different angle. I tried to show how Sanjay's cowardice is a source of shame and self loathing for him. Most coward characters have their cowardice either shown as comical, cute or how it hurts others. With Sanjay, I wanted to show how bad it makes him feel about himself.
As for his relation to Wishami, that was just a fun little detail on the side. I like the idea of related characters competing in separate seasons, as it helps the continuity. This relation probably will get another couple of mentions in the Mines.
Some of you may be disappointed Sanjay is out early, but sad as it is, fan reception does not determine the boot order. But, he might return, so all Sanjay fans cross their fingers!
Next Time: Time for something, and someone, completely different!