A/N: So RL has reached a new level of low for me this past week as I have injured my back and am starting PT on Monday. It's really too bad that writing fanfiction doesn't pay anything.

Tissue warning for the next couple of chapters - that's all I'm going to say right now.

"Hold, Hold me for a while

I know this won't last forever

So hold, hold me tonight

Before the morning takes you away."

-Rednex

Two Months Later

Sunshine Building

I glanced at the clock above the conference table before shuffling my papers and clearing my throat. "If there's nothing else?" I paused for a few seconds to allow my people to bring up any issues that hadn't been covered in the staff meeting. But when silence and blank stares met my question, I knew it was time to dismiss. "Fine, let's get back to work then."

Jack left the fishbowl first – and I watched him go, wondering not for the first time what went on inside that man's head. He'd come on board a few months after my promotion, to fill the spot I'd left vacant and not even Delia's friendliness and culinary delights could get the man to say more than a simple yes or no to her questions. Still, he did his job, got all his paperwork in on time, and I had never had any complaints from the witnesses about him. When Mary had to take someone with her on a transport, Jack was her first choice, preferring his quiet, solid presence to Delia's constant inane chatter. I just wish I could figure out what it was about the man that bothered me. Perhaps it was nothing more than a case of 'partner envy'. I'd be jealous of anyone who got to partner with Mary, especially a man.

And I needed to nip those feelings in the bud fast.

I jumped as I felt Mary lean over my right shoulder, her breath hot in my ear. "Thinking about asking Jack out on a date?"

Eyes twinkling, I swiveled in my chair to face her. "Think he'd say yes?"

She straightened up, tapping a finger on her chin in thought. "Hmm, you could do worse – Jack on the other hand-"

"Mary!" Delia broke in with a horrified expression on her face. "Our boss' divorce isn't even finalized yet and here you are playing matchmaker – and trying to set our boss up with a man no less! You should be ashamed of yourself." She grabbed her stack of files and stormed out.

Mary and I locked eyes before dissolving in helpless laughter. Even after all this time, Delia still hadn't caught onto our teasing, let alone our inside jokes that had been formed from a decade long partnership. When Mary had caught her breath, she sank into the nearest chair and looked at me seriously. "When is your divorce final?"

"My lawyer served the papers to Abigail earlier this week – so I'm just waiting for her to sign them."

"Hm, and you think she will – just like that?"

I sighed. "I don't know – I hope so. I haven't heard a word from her since before the holidays. She went back to Texas to her family and didn't contact me when she got back – I don't know if that's a good sign or not."

Mary reached across the tabletop and bumped her hand against mine. "Let's take it as a good one."

I grunted. "Mary Shannon, an optimist? Quit it, you're scaring me."

She shrugged. "I've had lots of practice lately, you know that – for George."

I nodded and grasped her fingers in mine. "We'll hear something about Brandi soon – we have to."

She swallowed and her fingers tightened around mine. "I hope so."

It had been a long, grueling two months for Mary and I had tried to shoulder and share as much of the burden with her as I could. Most evenings, I'd follow her home and cook dinner, then play with the kids and help her tuck them in for the night. If I wasn't working on the weekends, I was at Mary's house, spending time with George and Nora.

At first, Mary had protested strongly against my being there so often. She said that the kids would get used to my presence and when things changed or something witness related came up, as they always would, they would be devastated and not understand. But I had talked to Nora and Georgie extensively, telling them both that I couldn't come over all the time and that I wasn't moving in.

At least not yet. I hadn't shared my long term plans with Mary – knowing that she would only run. I had no illusions about my ex-partner. I knew that my feelings for her were still one-sided and that they likely always would be. But since Mark had moved to Phoenix after marrying Sequoia and Brandi was still MIA, both of those kids needed a man in their lives, and I was determined to be it.

I had rented a basement apartment from Mrs. Thompkins, one of Mary's neighbors, who was only too happy to have a man and a guard dog about the place. She was also more than willing to feed and look after Oscar when I was out of town for work.

No one had seen or heard from Brandi since Thanksgiving. Of course there had been multiple sightings and tips ever since Mary had filled out the missing person report. So many in fact that Jinx had tearfully begged me to screen the tips myself, as she no longer wanted to get her hopes up. When I asked Mary if this was all right with her, she agreed, saying that she needed to focus on protecting George from hearing any of these false reports.

As I sat in the fishbowl with Mary today, her fingers wrapped around mine, I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and comfort her. But too many eyes were watching us and I didn't know how she would react to such an open display of affection. One minute she was vulnerable and sinking into me, grateful for a moment of peace in her best friend's arms. But the next minute she was as prickly as a desert cactus – and yet, I loved her anyway.

"We will find her, Mer."

She raised emotion filled eyes to mine. "Alive?"

Words failed me and looking over her shoulder, I saw Delia buzzing Emma Jean into the office. I'd never been so glad to be interrupted by work. "EJ's here."

Mary snatched her hand back and her mask fell back in place as the door opened and Delia ushered a girl barely on the cusp of womanhood inside. Mary stood and walked towards her, her arm raised and encircled the girl's shoulders gently.

"Hi, EJ – how are you?"

EJ shrugged. "Big." She ran a shaking hand over her pregnant belly. "I'm just glad I wasn't showing when you got me out of there."

Mary nodded. "This is my boss, Marshall Mann."

I stood and came around the table slowly, not wanting to frighten her, knowing all the trauma this girl had been through. Still, I tried not to wince as EJ retreated a step in Mary's hold at my approach and I stopped in my tracks.

"It's nice to meet you, EJ."

She swallowed nervously. "You – you look like-"

Mary's eyes darted to mine. "Oh my God – I didn't think. He does look a little like him, doesn't he?"

EJ nodded and averted her gaze.

Understanding instantly flooded me along with rage that I tamped down so EJ wouldn't see it in my face. "I'll just step outside then, OK? And wait for the McCalls to arrive."

EJ shrugged off Mary's touch and walked around the table to sit down. Mary grabbed my sleeve, communicating her apology with her eyes. I shook my head slightly, removed her fingers with a reassuring squeeze and left before I inadvertently caused any more damage.

Delia caught up with me as I was crossing to my office. "Hey Chief, you're not going to punch your wall again, are you? 'Cause if you were Yosemite Sam, steam would be coming out of your ears right now."

I took a deep breath and turned to her with a sad smile. "No, Dee, I'm fine. Just upset with my sex at the moment."

Delia raised her eyebrows in surprise. "I don't think I can help you with that."

I laughed dryly. "No, I don't think you can either. Just let me know when the McCalls arrive. I'll need to debrief them as much as possible and then you can take them into the conference room to meet with Mary and EJ."

"But I thought you were going to sit in."

I shook my head. "No, not this time."

It had been a long day.

I should have gone home hours ago. I knew Nora and Georgie would be disappointed but I had remembered to call and say good night and they had extracted a promise from me that I would be there for breakfast in the morning. Mary had gotten on the phone and told me I was a pushover and then said that Oscar was over there with them so not to panic when I got home and he wasn't in the apartment. I shook my head as I hung up the phone. I should just give the lazy mutt to her and the kids and be done with it.

"Still burning the midnight oil, I see."

My shoulders tensed and I looked over the top of my readers to see Abigail standing in my doorway, backlit by the few lights still left on in the office. "How did you get in here?"

She jerked her head to the side. "Howard let me in – he obviously hasn't heard about our impending divorce."

I looked out to see the night janitor cheerfully whistling as he mopped the floor. As if he sensed my gaze, he looked up and waved before returning to his task. I groaned. "Abby, what are you doing here? As you can see I'm very busy and it's late and I'd really like to be in bed before midnight."

Her lips twitched. "Too late."

I glanced at the clock on the edge of my desk. 12:30am. "Damn it," I swore and threw my readers onto the stack of files. "Is there a reason you stopped by in the middle of the night?"

She nodded as she came inside, shutting the door behind her. "I wanted to talk."

My danger sense was pinging. "Now? Couldn't you have called and we could have met for lunch?"

She shook her head. "You would have blown me off – we both know that. This was the best option. I know that you get your best work done late at night – or at least, you used to. I took a chance you still do."

I sighed as I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Abby, can you please get to the point? It's late-"

She pulled a large manila envelope from her handbag. "I got the papers on Monday – and I wanted to talk to you before I signed them."

My eyes widened. She's going to sign them? Just like that? I gestured to the chair and waited until she had sat down before continuing. "About what?"

She cleared her throat, playing with the thin gold necklace around her throat. "First, I need to apologize to you. I know," she held up a hand to forestall my words, "I said those words a lot during the last few months of our marriage but I really do mean them this time. This," she cleared her throat again. "This isn't going to be easy for me to say so I need you to be quiet and let me say the whole piece before you speak, all right?"

I nodded.

"After you packed your clothes and left, I tried to kill myself-"

I gasped and tried to stand but she raised both her hands in supplication. "Please, Marshall, you gave your word, remember?"

I sat back down, my heart hammering in my throat.

"I – I got my service weapon from the safe and stared at it for the longest time, thinking about just pulling the trigger and ending it all, and how sorry you'd be once I was gone. But thank God, Mrs. Humphrey came over to check on me – she'd heard our fight and seen you leave – and she saw me through the window with the gun. She broke in and took the gun and we talked for a long time. She convinced me to take a leave of absence from work and go see my family in Texas, and to seek professional help. So I did – and my family was horrified when they saw me. They wanted to come here and find you and kill you for not taking care of me but I stopped them, saying it was all my fault – that something was wrong with me. I started seeing a therapist and they took me to a doctor and between the two of them, they figured out that the hormone therapy I've been on to increase our chances of getting pregnant – well, it had actually done me some emotional harm. I don't understand all of it even now, but I do know that I'm just now feeling like I'm waking from a terrible nightmare. I finally feel like I've got control over my emotions for the first time in months."

I sat in shocked disbelief for several long minutes trying to process this information. Mary had in a sense been right: my wife had lost her fucking mind. I remember clearly the day Abigail had come to me, begging and pleading to start hormone therapy. I had argued that there was no need. We had gotten pregnant without it – we just needed time to grieve and then let nature take its course. But she had been nearly frantic for a child, and in my desire to please her, I had given in. Now I wished to God I hadn't.

"I should have listened to you all those months ago," Abigail whispered as if she was reading my thoughts. "You were certain that we didn't need drug enhancements and I didn't listen. I'm so sorry, Marshall."

I stood and came around the desk to crouch beside the chair. "I'm the one who is sorry, Abs. I'm sorry I didn't see sooner what was happening to you, that I didn't push us to go into therapy to talk about everything, that I couldn't give you what you wanted."

She raised a shaky hand and cupped my cheek. "You can't force yourself to love someone-"

I groaned and leaned into her touch. "But I did love you, Abby, I do love you."

She took a deep breath. "I know – you wouldn't have married me if you didn't love me, Marshall Mann."

I dropped a kiss in her palm before standing up. "Are you doing OK now?"

"I'm getting there. I just wanted to come and talk to you, explain everything before signing the papers. Do you have a pen?"

"Abby." My hand closed over hers. "You don't have to do this now. You can sign them tomorrow – or next week even."

She shook her head. "But that's not fair to you, or her. I know the two of you must be-"

"There is no two of us- I don't know that there ever will be. Not like that."

She squeezed my hand and smiled sadly. "You give your powers of persuasion far too little credit, Marshall Mann. Don't let this-" she waved the papers between us. "-be for nothing."

I watched as she signed her name underneath mine on the legal document with mixed feelings.

"Oh, I have something else that's yours-" she reached into her purse and drew out my grandmother's ring, her engagement ring.

"Abby, no-"

She shook her head. "I can't keep it – it hurts too much and it belongs to your family, Marshall. I know Mary will never wear it – not since I did and it's not her style. But maybe, one day, Nora might?"

I dropped a kiss on the top of her head as she placed the ring in my hand. "Thank you."

We jolted apart as her cell rang and Abigail answered it with a crisp, "Detective Chaffee."

I watched as her posture stiffened and her eyes met mine in shock. My blood ran cold and I waited on pins and needles for her to finish the call.

Abigail hung up and cleared her throat. "That was a friend of my mine from Vice. They raided a meth house on the East Side tonight and found a couple of Jane Doe's in the back bedroom – one of them matches Brandi Shannon's description."

My eyes fluttered shut.

"Marshall? Should I call Mary?"

"No!" I gasped as I stood and reached for my jacket. "We've had so many false leads that Jinx and Mary have given me the green light to screen all incoming calls."

She shook her head. "She's not going to thank you for getting there first on this one – I really think it's Brandi this time."

I froze. "Why?"

"Because this Jane Doe had a picture of a young boy with her-"

I started to shake. "That still doesn't mean-"

"There are words written on the back. It says, 'My darling Georgie, age 3."

I rested my forehead against Mary's front door, trying to erase the image of Brandi Shannon lying on a slab in the morgue. If she hadn't had the picture of George and the strawberry colored birthmark on her hip, I would have even had trouble saying it was her – her appearance was that altered. Her hair was bright green and spiked and she had a couple of fresh tattoos on her upper arms and chest – I had no idea if they were permanent or henna, but it was amazing how much they altered her appearance. Add to that how much the meth had ravaged her physical appearance and she was a far cry from the innocent, doe-eyed Brandi Shannon I had known the past several years. I didn't want Mary to have to see her like that but a family member was going to have to identify her and there was no way in hell I was taking Georgie down there. Jinx might insist on going but I knew that Mary wouldn't let her go alone – and I wouldn't let Mary go alone either.

I nearly fell inside when Mary jerked the door open. "I thought that was you, partner. What are you doing standing on the doorstep in the middle of the night?"

I swallowed. "I thought you'd be sleeping."

She snorted. "With two kids and your dog under the same roof? Yeah, right. Get in here." She turned and didn't wait to see if I'd follow as she made her way back into the living room. "I was just doing some paperwork since I thought you might be stopping by before- Marshall, what the hell's wrong with you?" Her hand hovered above her wine glass. "You look like you've seen a ghost. Did something spook you on the way over here?"

"Abigail stopped by the office tonight-"

Mary held up a hand. "Enough said. I'll pour you a drink. Wine OK or do you need something stronger-"

"Mary, STOP!"

She halted mid-step, her eyes wide and questioning. "What's happened?"

"While we were talking, Abigail got a call from Vice. They'd raided a house and had found a couple of Jane Doe's in the back, one of them matched Brandi's description so I went with her to the morgue-" I stopped to clear my throat, trying in vain to get some moisture in it.

"No."

"Mary, I'm so sorry-"

She backed away as I tried to gather her in my arms. "No. You're wrong – it's not Brandi. She's not a meth addict, Marshall. She likes Coke – how does one go from Coke to Meth?"

"Mary."

"Besides, everyone is said to have a double somewhere, right? I mean, look at what happened today and EJ's reaction to you. She freaked out because you looked like her rapist and you and I both know you're not. So even if this girl looked something like Brandi, you and I both know that's ridiculous because-"

I gathered her into my arms, holding her tight. "Mary."

"No!" She slapped my arms, trying to break free. "It's not Squish, it's not!"

"She had a picture of Georgie, taken just after his third birthday, remember? And she had the birthmark on her hip. Oh my love, I'm sorry, it's her."

"NO, Marshall! Not Squish, not Squish."

Mary collapsed against me in a violent fit of weeping and I did what I always do when Mary or Nora was upset, but I knew it wouldn't be enough, not this time. I held her tight, smoothed her hair back, and whispered soothing words against her temple. At first she resisted my embrace, curling her hands into fists and pounding my back, but I didn't mind. I knew it was all part of her grieving and if she needed to use me as a punching bag, so be it. When the punches subsided and her fists opened, her hands grabbing handfuls of my shirt instead, I picked her up bridal style and carried her down the hall to her bedroom.

I was relieved to find it unoccupied except for a snoring Oscar. Nudging him off the bed with the toe of my boot, I sat down on the mattress and cradled a still sobbing Mary to my chest.

"My fault," she was gasping between sobs. "I should – have seen – should have – known – oh Squish."

I didn't correct her then, didn't tell her that none of this was her fault, that Brandi was responsible for her own life choices. Brandi was the little sister that Mary had essentially raised since their mother was a blackout drunk and their father abandoned the family. In a way, Brandi had been her child, a dry run for Nora – and I knew that Mary would be feeling enormous guilt over her sister's death. Tonight she would grieve and allow herself to be held and comforted. But I held no illusions. Tomorrow she would stuff all her emotions deep down inside and lock them up tight in order to be there for Georgie and Jinx.

Her sobs were slowing and I knew that the late hour combined with the tragic news were starting to take their toil as I felt her began to relax in my arms. I reached for the throw blanket behind me and she tensed, her arms tightening around me.

"Don't go."

I brushed some of her tears away with my fingers. "I'm not going anywhere tonight."

Reassured, her hold loosened and I grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around us as I lay down, taking her with me. She rolled to face me, burying her wet face in my shirt front.

"Will you stay in the morning and help me tell-" her voice broke and I felt her body tremble as I pulled her into me.

"I'll help you with whatever you need, Mer, whenever you need it. You call, I come, every time, remember?"

The only answer I got was a gentle snore and I breathed a little easier knowing that I was able to at least help her get a little rest to prepare for the next few days. I took a risk and breathed a kiss against the corner of her mouth. She moaned and her lips twitched in response but she didn't open her eyes.

"Sleep, my love," I whispered. "I'll be here when you wake."

A/N: Reviews are LOVE.