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Chapter 10: Not So Bad After All

"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends." ~Richard Bach


I stare at the gates of Disneyland. Seriously? Disneyland? Its official Michael Jackson is in fact, without a doubt, a glutton for punishment. I can guarantee we will make it two steps into the park if that, and there will be a horde of hormone riddled girls chasing him for the rest of the afternoon.

" I haven't been to Disneyland in so long, I'm so excited, aren't you excited," Olivia asks, tugging on the sleeve of my shirt.

" Overjoyed," I murmur, laughing when Olivia rolls her eyes at me.

" What's the matter?" she asks, and I stare at the back of Michael's head, his hat pulled low over his face.

" You realize that in about two seconds people are going to start noticing who he is and there are going to be waves up waves of 'Olivia's' chasing him through Disneyland," I whisper, looking around to see if anyone has noticed him yet.

" Oh please it will be fine Brooke, just stop worrying, lets have fun," she says, and before I can say anything Michael turns to us handing us our tickets a huge smile on his face.

" Come on," Michael says, grabbing Olivia and me dragging us behind him as he pulls us through the gates.

" Hold on, we need to document this amazing experience," Olivia says, pulling out her digital camera. We stand close, the three of us, our heads pressed together huge cheesy grins on our faces and as soon as the camera flashes a shrill scream comes from somewhere to our right.

" Oh my God, its MJ!" a high pitched scream resounds around us and I exchange looks with Michael and Olivia before we turn holding on to each other running as fast as we can laughter tearing from our chests.


I laugh uncontrollably almost falling when Olivia hops on my back.

" Oh I'm so happy, this is so much fun, ooo, can we have some cotton candy Brooke," Olivia says, her words running together as she talks excitedly in my ear, her arms tightening around my throat, " Please, please, please."

" Sure Liv, but I cant breathe," I says laughing when Olivia suddenly lets go, falling on her butt.

" Ouch," she giggles out and I collapse to the ground laughing right along with her, " Ahh Brooke, I haven't seen you this happy in so long. Where's Michael?" she asks her mouth moving a mile a minute.

" I have no idea," I say, realizing that our game of keep up has us officially lost.

" Psst," someone calls out to us and I look around catching a glimpse of Michael's face peaking out from a cluster of bushes, his dark eyes darting back and forth as he checks to see if the coast is clear. I tap on Olivia's shoulder as I point towards the bush that Michael is currently occupying. I shake my head as I walk towards him pulling him from his hiding spot.

" What in the world are you doing?" I ask, watching as he dusts himself off.

" Hiding. Everything was going great after we got off of The Pirates of The Caribbean and then someone noticed me, it was either jump in the bushes or risk having my clothes ripped off my body," Michael mutters pulling his hat even lower over his face.

" I tried telling you but did anyone want to listen to me NO," I say giggling as I bask in the fact that for once I was right.

" Yeah, yeah, yeah, enough banter you two. There are still so many rides to ride, so little time, lets go," Olivia says tugging both Michael and me behind her.


My entire body loosens up as I sink into the couch in our living room glancing at the clock. Ugh, four o'clock in the morning, no point in even going to sleep, Olivia leaves in two hours. Two hours and my best friend, my constant rock will be leaving, going half way around the world to pursue her dreams. That fact sinks in and I feel the dark clouds rolling in. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond happy for her, for her going after her dreams. I have watched her work so hard for the last two years to achieve this, to achieve her dreams, and Lord knows that she is has been there supporting me. But, it doesn't change the fact that the idea of living my day to day life without Olivia by my side scares the hell out of me.

" Seriously, I don't think I have had that much fun in I don't know how long," Olivia says laughing as she shuts the door behind her and Michael.

" Well I'm glad that you had fun," Michael says setting down a bag of souvenirs that Olivia insisted on buying, onto the counter. Olivia hops over the back of the couch landing softly next to me.

" What about you Brookey-Bee, did you have fun?" Olivia asks, and I smile nodding my head.

" Surprisingly, yeah. I have to say though, the funniest thing ever was seeing all of the places Michael would hide," I say laughing hysterically as the memory of Michael dipping into the woman's bathroom to get away from a particularly rabid group of fans stands out the most. Michael blushes furiously as he sits down across from us.

" Yeah that was pretty funny," Olivia says giggling as she buries her head into the back of the couch.

" Oh sure laugh it up you two," Michael groans which only makes us laugh harder. Suddenly the laughter dies between us and we study each other.

" Two hours, that's all the time we have left," Olivia says, her voice growing thick as I fight the urge to cry.

" I know," I murmur, fiddling with my hands trying to hide the fact that they shake.

" Well, I'm going to go jump in the shower before I completely lose it and decide to stay and unpack," she says, hopping up from the couch shutting herself away in her half empty room.

" Damn," I mutter burying my head in my hands.

" Brooke," Michael murmurs but I just shake my head as I get up from the couch walking into my own room leaving Michael to sit alone in the living room.


I sit on my bed, my journal opened as I press pen to paper. How do I tell someone who means so much to me just how much they mean when the thought of them being gone makes me sick. I close my eyes taking a deep breath realizing that now is the only chance I'm going to get to tell her everything I need to say.

'Livy-Love,

Wow, where do I begin. It's been a crazy ride my friend. Thinking back at all the crazy things we did together makes me smile. Like the times that we would sneak away to the mall in hopes of seeing cute guys, or the time we almost got arrested when we teepeed Miss. Hanover's house because she gave me a D on my paper, do you remember that? All the good memories are what I will hold close to me for the rest of my life, but even more than that I will remember the way you stood by me when everything went bad. You were the only person to tell me that I would be beautiful again, that what happened to me wouldn't define me as a person. You were there every step of the way when I tried my hardest to push you away. There will never be enough ways to say thank you, so I wont even try to find them. I will just leave you with this promise. Forever. Don't forget that okay? I love you Livy-Love, and I am beyond proud of you for chasing your dreams.

Love Always,

Brookey-Bee.'

I stare at the words on the paper sniffling as I fold the paper around a few pictures that I want her to have, sliding it into an envelope. I get up, quickly changing before walking out of the room noticing that Olivia has moved all of her luggage to the front room. Michael smiles at me from his seat, listening as Olivia chatters at him. I smile back slipping the envelope into the front of her black and purple polka dotted carry on.

" Ready to go?" I ask, slipping my arms around Olivia.

" Yeah I guess so," Olivia says, getting up from the couch, " Michael offered to drive us." I stare at Michael feeling somewhat surprised.

" Oh okay," I murmur, pulling some of Olivia's luggage behind me.

My stomach rolls mercilessly as we walk through the airport. I have been secretly hoping that something would have happened, like maybe her flight got delayed or canceled. No such luck. I hand Olivia her carry on as we reach the security check line.

" Well I guess this is it," Olivia says, and I cringe as I throw my arms around her, " I'm going to miss you Brookey-Bee."

" I'm going to miss you too Livy-Love," I murmur, burying my face in her shoulder, refusing to cry.

" Okay, we aren't going to do this, we'll see each other again," she says pulling away to smile at me even as tears spill down her cheeks.

" Your right. Text me before you take off, and when you land and get to the school okay?" I urge, holding her hand tight in mine.

" Yes Mom," she jokes and I grin as I wipe my hands over my face. I step back watching Michael hug my best friend, a slow smile spreading over his face as she whispers something into his ear.

" I love you," I call out to Olivia as she moves up in the line.

" Always," she calls back smiling shakily at me.

" Forever," I call back turning away to walk out of the airport my heart breaking with every step that I take. Who would have thought that good bye could hurt so damn much.


The car is silent as the tears fall silently down my face, my eyes hidden behind my sunglasses.

" You okay?" Michael's voice rings through the car low and soothing. I turn my face to look at him, shaking my head slowly.

" No, but I will be. Thank you, for everything. It meant a lot to Olivia to do something crazy before she left," I say, unbuckling my seat belt as he pulls into the parking garage, " It meant a lot to me too."

" It was my pleasure. I uhm, I can come up stay for a while if you want," he says, turning the car off. Part of me screams to tell him yes, I don't want to be alone, not now, but the stubborn side of me tells me that for right now I just need to be alone to sulk.

" No its okay, I'm just going to go up and crash anyways," I say, opening the door slowly when Michael catches my wrist in his hand.

" Brooke, I hope you know I'm here for you, whenever you need me," he says, and I nod my head. I shut the door lightly before walking up the stairs slowly. I sigh as I slide the key into the door shutting it behind me. It feels different now, knowing that Olivia's gone. I toss my keys onto the counter as I walk slowly into my bedroom, noticing the envelope sitting on my pillow. I pick it up with shaking hands immediately recognizing Liv's handwriting. I sit on my bed heavily, opening the letter slowly, smiling when a few pictures fall out.

" Great minds think alike," I murmur, flipping through the pictures smiling when the last few are ones that were taken at Disneyland. Michael donning a Goofy hat, while Olivia and I stand on either side of him Mini-Mouse ears on our heads. Another of just Michael, staring up at Sleeping Beauty's Castle and I turn it over reading the small words written on the back.

'Don't shut him out.'

I smile as I set the pictures aside, picking up the letter.

'Brookey-Bee,

If your reading this then I chickened out on chickening out, if that makes any sense at all, well nonetheless you'll understand what I mean. Part of me feels so guilty for leaving you, but the bigger part of me tells me you would have killed me if I didn't take this chance. I'm going to miss you Brooke. The late night ice cream parties, stupid movie Sundays, all of it. I'm going to miss hearing you play your guitar at two in the morning when you cant sleep, and the way you would yell at me when I would leave less than a swallow of juice in the carton and proceed to put it back in the fridge.

I need you to remember something Brooke, you are beautiful. Inside and out. You have one of the most generous hearts that I have ever seen, and I am begging you not to shut yourself away. Look at this as an experiment. I have been your security net for the last two years Brooke, now, now its your turn to do things on your own. I know that you have it in you love, you just have to believe that you do. What happened to you will not define who Brooke Elisabeth Nichols is and will be.

I love you girly. Always. That's a promise I have every intention of keeping.

Love,

Livy.

P.S Don't shut Michael out, it may sound crazy, but I have a good feeling about him, and its not just because he's devastatingly gorgeous either *wink wink*

P.S.S PLEASE DON'T TELL MICHAEL THAT I SAID THAT ABOUT HIM!'

I giggle as I wipe my hands over my face pressing my best friends letter to my chest. Leave it to Olivia to make what seems like the end of the world, not such a bad thing after all.