A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing, everyone! So in this chapter, Nny and Dib are back from their adventure and it's time to catch up with Zim! I wonder what that guy has been up to? Probably just watching TV or something...

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. But I do own a mysterious Pokemon game that I bought from old man at a garage sale! Apparently it used to belong to his son who played it for weeks on end before disappearing into woods late one night a kitchen knife while humming Lavender Town song. That's safe to play, right? I'm sure it's fine...

Chapter Five: Similarities

v0x3lr0t: For the love of God, just call Zim already.
agent_mothman: gaz!
agent_mothman: i thought u weren't talking to me?
v0x3lr0t: I'm not.
v0x3lr0t: But Zim keeps calling the house.
v0x3lr0t: It's annoying.
agent_mothman: what does he want?
v0x3lr0t: I don't know.
v0x3lr0t: He said something about wanting to destroy you or whatever.
agent_mothman: Or whatever?!
v0x3lr0t: Yeah, I stopped listening.
v0x3lr0t: I think he just wants to know if you got home alright. Tell him you're not dead so I can go to sleep.
agent_mothman: fine. i will.
agent_mothman: we need to talk anyway. if this partnership is going to work out, we have to communicate better, y'know?
v0x3lr0t: ...
agent_mothman: okay WOW
agent_mothman: that sentence came out really weird
agent_mothman: haha sorry
agent_mothman: so...r we ok, gaz?
v0x3lr0t: No, we're not.
v0x3lr0t: It's not fair, Dib. You get mad at Dad for being obsessed with work and now you're doing the same thing.
v0x3lr0t: I just want us all to have a stupid dinner together.
v0x3lr0t: Is that so much to ask?
agent_mothman: i'm sorry gaz, but this is important!
agent_mothman: i need to stop this thing now b4 more people get hurt!
agent_mothman: u get that, rite?
v0x3lr0t: Everything is "the fate of the world" with you.
v0x3lr0t: It would be great to have a dad and a brother who aren't too busy trying to save the world that they forget to spend some time with the important people in it.
agent_mothman: listen i'm close to breaking this case I promise!
agent_mothman: i will be home for dinner tomorrow ok?
v0x3lr0t: Like I haven't heard that one before. I'm going to bed.
agent_mothman: gaz please…
agent_mothman: i'm sorry!
v0x3lr0t: Goodnight, Dib.

XXX

A face hung over me.

No! I lashed out at it but something grabbed my wrists. Panic swept through my body. I thrashed and screamed as my arms were wrenched backwards. I tried to kick but there was a heavy weight on my legs. No!

"Dib, calm down! It's me!"

Nny pinned my wrists to the ground, his cold hands burning my skin like manacles made of ice. Beyond him, I could see the black leaves on the trees swaying in the wind and glimpses of pink and purple. I closed my eyes. The dirt felt cool against the back of my neck and I tried to focus on it as my breathing returned to normal.

"There we go." I heard the sigh in Nny's voice. "That's it, just calm down. It can't hurt you anymore, alright?"

The pressure from my chest disappeared, as did the grip on my wrists. When I opened my eyes, Nny still knelt over me. The shadows around his eyes looked like holes in the fading light.

I wanted to ask questions. What happened? Did I pass out? Did he save me from hitting the ground? Did he climb into the treehouse and see what was in there?

But all I said was: "What is this thing?"

My voice echoed through the quiet woods, like everything in the world had been waiting for this very moment.

"I wish I knew," Nny said. And after a pause, he added: "But if it's helpful, I don't think it's a moose." I knew that was a joke, but I couldn't muster up the energy to laugh. When I ventured a glance at him, I could see he was ripping apart a long piece of grass he had plucked from the ground. "You've seen it, haven't you? In your dreams...?"

I nodded as I sat up. "I should have told you, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're entitled to your secrets. And if we're being honest with each other, I have a confession as well."

I waited as he sprinkled the torn pieces of grass around like confetti.

"I…" He hesitated. "I used to see it too. Then I started living a nightmare instead of just having them."

I looked at him. I mean, I really looked at him. He was impossibly thin- more of a stick figure than a person- with large circles around his eyes, dark like fresh bruises. How long had it been since he last slept? Days? Weeks?

He closed his eyes. "It pounds against the back of my skull like a dull ache. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to last. It's taken almost everything from me, Dib. But now I have hope."

"You do?"

"Yes, thanks to you. You brought me here and showed me that this creature isn't a figment my imagination and that I'm not entirely crazy. Now I know it's real. And if it's real, then it exists. And if it exists, there must be a way to make it stop existing. Not to brag, but if anyone can figure out to kill something, it's me."

"You really think you can stop it?"

"Yes, I do."

"And the homicidal maniac? You'll stop him too?"

Nny paused for a long time. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft and the words came slowly. "If all goes well, I promise I will stop him forever."

Relief overwhelmed me. It was nice not to have the fate of the world balanced on my shoulders. The idea that someone else was going to take care of everything comforted me in a way that I didn't even realize I needed.

He stood, brushing off the legs of his pants. "Now, let's get you home. You're a nice little Dib and I think all of this darkness is getting to you."

I wanted to say that he was wrong and that paranormal investigators could deal with anything, but I was too exhausted.

"Yeah," I sighed, "Home sounds good."

XXX

We drove in silence. Though I stared out the window most of the time, I couldn't tell you what we passed. If there had been a farmer being beamed up into a spaceship, I wouldn't have even noticed. All I could see was that bloody, broken wall. It burned like an afterimage when I closed my eyes and drifted through my thoughts when I was awake.

My phone buzzed.

It was a message from Gaz: For the love of God, just call Zim already.

Zim? A thought tore through my lethargy like a bolt of lightning. I had forgotten about him. Our argument felt like it had been years ago now, like it had happened in a completely different world. I tried to be mad about it, but found surprisingly little anger there. I couldn't feel much of anything anymore.

Besides, I couldn't deny that it was my fault. I might not like Zim but I shouldn't have blown him off- especially after he had saved me from having my throat sliced open. Now that Nny planned to take over the case, I should apologize to Zim, let him be smug about it for a few days, and then we could focus on finishing this stupid project once and for all.

I exchanged a couple more terse message with Gaz- who, unlike Zim, I wasn't sure I could make amends with so soon- and asked Nny if he could drop me off at Zim's house instead of mine. Then an idea occurred to me.

"Umm, can we stop at Taco Shack too?"

XXX

It was dark by the time we pulled up the familiar green and purple house. After everything I had experienced today, the sight actually comforted me. Thunder rolled somewhere in the distance. A few stray drops of rain streaked on windshield, and Nny flicked on the wipers though it did little but smear them across the glass.

"He really doesn't make much of an effort to blend in, does he?" Nny frowned at the "I 3 Earth!" sign, illuminated by the headlights. "Do you need me to go with you?"

"Zim I can handle." I checked through my backpack to make sure I had everything. "Reality warping wall monsters are a bit trickier. Hey… will you keep me posted on what's going on? I want to help if I can."

"Of course. We're partners in crime, aren't we? Now go on and finish your project. If you don't get an A after all of your effort, let me know. Perhaps I can persuade the skool otherwise."

The car door chimed with a soft ding-ding-ding when I opened it. Before stepping outside, I pulled the collar of my jacket over my head. The rain was starting to fall a little heavier now. "Umm, Nny?"

He glanced over at me. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to thank you… you're… you're the first person that's ever really listened me. So, um, thanks for… for being a good friend."

I had never really said anything like that before, and the words sounded strange in my voice, like they were in another language. This caught Nny off guard but when he spoke, his voice was soft and sad: "I'm not a good person to have as a friend, Dib."

"I think you're a better person than you think you are." I ventured a smile. "Good night, Nny. And good luck."

There was slight hint of regret in his voice. "Good night to you as well."

And that was that. I shouldered my bag and braced myself for the rain. The windows of Zim's house glowed softly in the darkness and I began to walk towards them.

"DIB!"

I turned back around. Nny leaned out the window, his tired eyes now lit with urgency.

"Keep being good, alright?" He pleaded. "Just promise me you'll keep being good, no matter how much they try to take it away from you! Please, just… promise me."

I didn't know that I could promise him that, but I found myself nodding.

He relaxed. "Good. The world needs more people like you, Dib. Don't forget that, okay?"

Then he drove away. As I listened to his car roaring off into the distance, I wondered what he meant by all of that. I didn't have much time to puzzle over his words, however, because something rushed towards me. It was GIR, wet dirt clinging to the feet of his dog costume as he raced across the lawn.

"He won't eat the waffles!" He lunged for me, seizing the front of my shirt. I almost lost my balance. "WHY WON'T HE EAT THE WAFFLES?!"

"Woah, calm down." I wrenched out of his grip. Though the robot's words were nonsense, his tone was urgent. "Are you talking about Zim?"

"Master loves waffles." GIR sniffed, teary-eyed. How does a robot even cry anyway? "He loves them so much!"

"Maybe he's just not hungry?" I suggested, just as Minimoose flew up. The little robot squeaked in a panic and its red eyes wobbled with fear. My heart leapt into my throat as I turned back to GIR. "What happened?! Tell me where he is!"

For once, GIR didn't hesitate to obey.

XXX

Not to brag, but I have pretty quick reflexes. I can see something unusual, size up the situation and leap into action. That comes from being a paranormal investigator, I guess. You have be prepared for anything, all of the time.

But when I walked into the lab, I gaped at what I saw.

Zim lay flat on his back, staring at nothing with dull red eyes. Only the slightest twitch of his antennae hinted that there was any life left in him at all. The robots hung back by the door, watching in horrified silence, as I walked closer to investigate. As my gaze moved from Zim to sweep across the room, I noticed a long metal arm extended from the ceiling holding something round and metallic.

Zim's PAK.

"Twenty seconds." The computer said.

Everything clicked together in an instant. I dove to the floor to roll Zim over. Metal prongs stuck out in his back where the PAK should have been. "Reattach the PAK!" I shouted. No response. "What are you waiting for?!"

"My orders were to not enact emergency PAK reattachment. It must be done manually. You have fifteen seconds, by the way."

"What?! Why would he-?!" Well, no time to think about that now. I cursed as I wrenched the PAK out of the metal contraption and then shoved it onto Zim's back. It took me a couple tries, like a kid who totally sucked at legos. My heart pounded with each failed attempt.

"Ten seconds, Dib." The computer reminded me.

If I had the time, I would have shouted something nasty at him. Instead I just shifted the PAK, and the pounding in my heart seemed to move into my head. I could barely see what I was doing.

"Five seconds."

Damnit! My hands shook so hard now I could barely control them. I slammed the PAK against his back one last time. I heard a click.

"Timeclock stopped."

I could have collapsed in relief. But before I even had the chance to celebrate, Zim began to convulse. Some random video from health class about what to do when someone was having a seizure leapt into my mind and I started clearing the scattered tools out of the way. It only lasted a few seconds.

Then the color came back into his eyes. They found me like missiles locking onto a target. "You! What are you doing here, Dibstink?!"

I released a breath that I didn't realize I had been holding in. "What am I doing here?! What are you doing here?! I came in and you were just lying on the-"

He held up a hand for silence and for some inexplicable reason, I actually stopped talking. A dark green bruise swelled on his head, presumably from when he collapsed, and he held a hand against it like he could stop it from spreading. Then he started to get up. I, like the idiot I am, took his arm and helped him stand.

He leaned against the desk for support. "Computer! Scan the PAK for defects."

Red beams of light, like thousands of those stupid laser pointers people use to drive cats crazy, shot down from the ceiling and skipped along the slick surface of the PAK. We stood there, silent, as the little lights danced. I wondered what we were waiting for but by the look on Zim's face, I knew better then to ask.

Then an alarm blared. All of the dots stopped on one point.

"Error detected in Residue Filtration System!"

Zim slammed a fist onto the work table, making the remaining tools jump. "Stupid!" He seized a screwdriver and threw it across the room. "Horrible!" He threw a laser hammer this time, which denoted as it hit the floor and ricocheted off a wall behind my head. "Why didn't it work?! Pull up the PAK schematics!"

A metal chair rose out of the floor as a huge blueprint projected on the curved wall. Zim fell into the chair and then banged the armrest. Both him and the chair hovered up to a flashing red point. I edged closer watching with interest as he tapped the point and it zoomed in, revealing thousands of intersecting red lines.

"What is that?" I asked.

He looked at me and because of the angle he was at, the lines projected across his face. For a moment, he seemed angry but then just tired.

"A defect." He said.

The word hung across the room, heavy like a cloud swelled with rain. He spoke it like a death sentence.

"In your PAK?" I asked, but he didn't respond. He just gazed at the red lines. "Is it... fatal or something?"

"No, not fatal. It's just… difficult to fix. I can only disconnect the PAK for ten minute intervals to do the repairs and that's not enough time."

"So that's why you passed out? You were trying to finish before the time-limit?"

He nodded like it physically pained him to agree with me. "The computer automatically reconnects the PAK three minutes before the time clock runs down. I gave it commands not to so I could have some extra time to work but I'm afraid that I... may pushed my limits too far."

"You think! If I didn't just happen to stop by, you'd be dead!"

"Isn't that what you want?" He said in a strange, quiet voice.

Silence fell between us as I struggled for an answer. Isn't that what I wanted? I had told Nny in painful detail about how I wanted to see Zim's guts pouring out of him like a rubber monster in a Halloween store window; but he when he had been dying in front of me, I had dove into save him without even thinking about it.

"I don't know." I said, because that was the only way I could sum it up. Then I shrugged and added: "If you're dead, I'll fail the project."

Zim didn't laugh at my joke. Somewhere in the silence, he had turned back to stare at the flashing red light.

"Anyway," I fished around for a topic change. "I stopped by because I have something for you."

I tugged the brown paper bag from Taco Shack out of my backpack. To my surprise, Zim's antennae perked as soon as he heard the paper rustling. His red eyes watched me with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion as I held the bag up for him to see.

"A gift?" He asked, unable to keep the interest out his voice. "For Zim?!"

"Yeah," My cheeks flushed as he stared at me. Now he was probably expecting something really cool. "Umm, it's just a bag of churros. They might be a little cold but you can warm them up in the microwave if you want."

"Why?"

"I… I thought you liked them?"

"I mean why are you giving them to me?"

"Well I, uh, just wanted to apologize. For this afternoon. I'm kind of battling a weird nightmare creature? It's hard to explain, but the point is that I shouldn't have snapped at you after you saved me and… I'm sorry. I guess I'll leave you to, umm... whatever it is you're doing."

My face burned red with embarrassment as I dropped the churros on the desk and started towards the elevator.

"Wait." Zim said.

When I turned around, his chair had already lowered to the floor. He stood, having regained his usual soldier's bearing, and examined the bag of churros. I watched as he opened the top and peeked inside, his antennae twitching like a cautious ant examining crumbs at a picnic.

Then, satisfied with whatever he saw, he snapped the bag shut and announced: "I accept your apology churros!"

"Okay." I said, taken aback.

"Even though your apology was woefully inadequate and horrible!"

"... Okay."

He paused and I could see that he was debating with himself about something.

"There... there is something I must tell you." He finally admitted. I waited, dread uncoiling in my stomach. That was never a good sentence. "I have not been honest with you."

My first instinct was to demand to know what he was talking about it. But he seemed to be hesitant about it, so I bit my lip instead.

"I..." He met my eyes. "I know what your nightmare creature is."

There are very few times that I have found myself speechless. Usually the presence of something weird urged me to talk more. But the idea that Zim- Zim of all people!- had the answer I so desperately needed was insane to me.

"You what?!" I exploded. "But how?! This better not be a joke, Zim!"

"I assure you, I am completely serious. I have a great deal of experience with this creature."

"You have?!"

"Yes," A smile- an actual smile- tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I did say we were similar, did I not?"

XXX

As the elevator descended, I found myself panicking. To understand this, I think you need to picture what Zim's elevator is like. Unlike our elevators, which are tiny rooms that move up and down on a string, this elevator was a little platform moving down a long metal tube. Visions of accidentally skimming my hand against the wall and watching all of the flesh being scraped away leapt into my mind, a fear encouraged by the fact that the elevator was overcrowded. Zim stood next me- rigid and unafraid- his arms collapsed behind his back like a soldier about to take orders. I, on the other hand, had Minimoose perched on my shoulder and GIR wrapped around my waist, staring up at me.

"Uh…" I struggled to make conversation. "So, how do you know about the monster?"

"Monster? That's a childish way of putting it." He kept his gaze straight ahead. "To answer your question, my first experience with it was on Vort where I was stationed as a military scientist. We were doing some research on the residue coping techniques of the Ghor'lock-"

"Hold on, I thought you were a chef on Foodcourtia or something?"

He gave me a confused look, but then laughed. "I forgot that your inferior human lifecycles are so small! Your species only has time for one or perhaps two careers. It is not the same with us."

"Wait," My overwhelmed brain tried to process what he meant. "How old are you exactly?"

"Eh, I dunno. I lost track after two hundred."

Two hundred. I stared at him. It occurred to me for the first time that although I knew everything about Zim, I also knew nothing about him. He had existed for over two hundred years. What other jobs has he done? What other planets has he been to?

What other worlds has he conquered?

As usual, Zim mistook my silence for admiration. "Impressive, yes? Anyway, Vort. Before I was the glorious invader you see before you, I was a research scientist and studying this… phenomenon, I'd rather call it. The research became a pet project of mine during my appointment until my career in military research ended prematurely due to an accident."

"Uh, what accid-?"

"IRRELEVANT! After a slight fifty-year inconvenience in Foodcourtia, I was assigned to Earth and my mission here has kept me occupied. However, within the past couple months, I have begun to pursue this research again."

"So that's why you were in Mount Pleasant?"

"That horrible taco-man." He sneered. "Taking you there was a miscalculation! But yes, I frequented that hideous city because I detected a high levels of psychic residue there."

"Psychic residue…?"

"I will explain more in the lab."

We travelled in silence for a while after that and I wished this elevator had music to distract me. But since it didn't, I struck up another conversation instead. "There's something I've been wondering." He didn't object to the topic change, so I continued. "If you had been going to Mount Pleasant regularly, why didn't you want to go when I first explained the project?"

He shrugged. "It was dangerous."

"But you had been going there every day!"

"Yes, well… it was not dangerous for me."

I opened my mouth to argue, but then closed it. Then I opened it again and, still not able to form words, closed it again.

"I knew a place with such a high concentration of psychic residue would have a negative effect on your mind. To think," He chuckled. "if that opportunity had presented itself months earlier, I am certain I could have used it against you. But now… it would be senseless. There are fates I would not inflict on even my greatest enemy." He didn't look at me as he said this. "Anyway, I have suspected for a long time what you are, Diblet, but that day you came into my lab I could detect it right away. Humans are too primitive to know, but it would be obvious to any Irken…"

"What you talking about, Zim?" I tried to make my voice cold. It sounded faint instead. "What am I?"

"Patience, human. You will understand soon enough. Don't look down, by the way."

"Wha-?" I began as the elevator shuttered. And then we weren't traveling through a metal tube any longer- we were floating down a clear plastic one that stretched into an abyss below us. We were in a metal cavern lit with eerie green lights with several welding-machines, with bulbous purple circles swollen on their bodies, crawling along different parts of the wall. I only got a quick glance of this before the cavern opened below me, revealing rooms upon rooms of bubbling glass tubes, floating machines and huge screens.

I felt dizzy with wonder until I realized that, though I was impressed, the sight of things rushing past me also made me feel nauseous. The urge to throw up welled in my throat and I doubled over. Fortunately, Zim seemed to sense my distress and pressed a few buttons on a holographic panel. The elevator slowed to a more gentle descent.

Finally, we entered a metal tube again and after a few minutes of this, the elevator came to a stop and opened to reveal a long white hallway, lined the barest impressions of identical white doors. The whole effect was so disorienting that I closed my eyes and followed Zim's footsteps instead. We stopped in front of a set of doors that looked exactly like all of the others. The room, lit only by the purple light of the monitors, hummed with machinery.

There was a bright white cell in the back of the room, though the door was wide open. A kid about my age sat inside, swinging his legs.

"Hiya, Dib!" He chirped. "Wow, isn't today just great?"

"Hey, Nick." I suppressed my guilt. I had tried to rescue Nick during several failed break-ins and of course, nobody at the police station believed me when I told them that he was being held captive by an alien. Maybe I should have tried harder, but he looked happy at least. Granted, that was probably due to the painful looking brain probe drilled through his skull. "How are you doing?"

He twitched. "I'm happy! It hurts how happy I am!"

"Enough words!" Zim demanded, "Go sit in the experiment chair!"

"I love the experiment chair." Nick told me, as happy as ever, as he settled down into a huge black chair. Large metal cuffs clamped down on his wrists. "Isn't it just so great? Just like everything else?"

"Zim!" I cried.

But the alien waved a dismissive hand. "Didn't you hear the smelly? It loves the chair! And besides, this particular experiment has absolutely no side effects whatsoever besides the temporary blindness and the uncontrollable diarrhea."

"The diarrhea is the best part." Nick whispered, in a strained voice.

Zim pressed a few buttons on the machine and Nick's chair swiveled into the air. "To explain my research to you, Dib-thing, you must understand that there are senses that humans cannot even comprehend. That is because you are weak and inferior, but also because you lack proper sensory organs."

"Ears, skin, eyes...?"

"Pitiful in comparison!"

To what? I nearly asked, but then realized I knew the answer. His antennae. Throughout our long... um... enemyship, I had spent a lot of time theorizing about what the antennae did. Since Zim didn't have ears or even a nose, I had always assumed they compensated for hearing and smelling in some way, but was it possible they picked up on something else? When they twitched, were they responding to some sort of sixth sense that was entirely invisible to me?

Zim grinned. "Yes, little Diblet. There is an entire world your human mind is too primitive to even process! I can sense it, however, as can all Irkens. It is essential for us in our conquest of other worlds. There is nothing more dangerous than walking around, oblivious to it, the way that you humans do. It is like a tasteless, scentless poison in the air!"

"So…" I struggled to keep up with what he was saying. "What is it that you're sensing?"

"Patience, human. I am getting to that! When I sensed it here on Earth, I decided to do some research since this was my area of expertise on Vort. I found, predictably, that certain humans have a stronger aura of it more than others. This is why I began to experiment with the happiness probe on Nick. After the experiments had begun and he became disgustingly happy, I realized his aura decreased, nearly to the point of being invisible!"

I glanced at Nick. "So whatever it is that's attracted to him is less attracted when he's happy?"

"As usual you are wrong; so very wrong! And painfully stupid! Also your head is big."

"...Did you need to add that last part?"

He shrugged and then continued. "The energy isn't attracted to The Nick, as you so stupidly suggested; he is creating it! Observe."

He turned a knob on the control board. Suddenly, Nick began to scream and thrash like his soul was being ripped out of his chest.

"Make it stop!" I yelled as Zim came over to stand beside me. "You're hurting him!"

"Nonsense! It is emotional pain. Err, mostly. Now put these on." He held out the silver goggles, which I realized were the same ones he was wearing earlier this afternoon at Taco Shack.

I glared at him but obeyed, snapping the goggles on over my glasses. It filtered the room in a violet light. From where Nick was thrashing against the chair, howling in pain, I could see a swirling darkness around him- shapes and figures shifting like images in a fire.

I recognized each and every twisted, tangled face.

"This is your creature, is it not?" Zim asked.

"What…" I managed, "What is it?!"

"It's called Psychic Residue. It is a psychic discharge created by suffering and negative emotions that is rather like pollution. Just as pollution poisons the soil and the water, psychic residue poisons minds. If too much of it builds up, it will cause any conscious beings in the surrounding area to go irrevocably insane."

I stared at Nick, screaming at the top of his lungs, thick coils of residue emerging from his head like smoke from a fire.

"How am I able to see it? This is Irken technology?"

Zim frowned. "Not exactly. I... err... improved a previous human design. GIR!" The little robot ran up, holding out a long, hollow rectangular box. Zim took it from his hand. "Do you recognize this?"

"Dad's dimensional scope!" Then the realization came crashing down on me. "You! You're the one who set off Dad's alarms! Is that why you gave me that sleeping stuff?! So you could steal my Dad's things?!"

"I highly doubt you would have lent it to me if I had asked!" He snarled. Here, I bit my lip. He had a good point. "Since your father already created the design, all I needed to do was tweak it to see the dimension closest to ours. Now, watch what happens when the emotional distress is finished."

He signaled to Minimoose, who nudged a dial on the control panel. Nick started to calm down and as he did, less and less energy poured from his mind until he had just a very faint aura of it. The remaining psychic residue, swirling around in the air, suddenly began to writhe. The thin tendrils began drain across the floor.

And right to me.

"What," I backed up, "What is it doing?"

"It's attracted to you." Zim said, watching me struggle against the residue creeping up my legs. "Everywhere you go, the residue other people are producing is attracted to you. Don't you see? All of that waste has to go somewhere! You are like a living sewer!"

I tried to push away the residue but I couldn't feel anything. It rushed towards me, draining from the air like someone had pulled the plug in a bathtub full of water.

"No!" I shouted, crashing into a console. I began swatting at it, but it kept coming like a horrible swarm of insects. "Help! Make it stop!"

It engulfed my waist and my chest and my neck and I screamed until it came to my mouth which I shut- trying so hard to keep it out- but it just burrowed beneath my glass and into my eyes until I couldn't see anything but dark-

Then, I could see again.

Zim stood in front of me, holding the goggles. For the first time, there was pity in his eyes. "It… it is maddening, is it not?"

I couldn't look at him. I turned away and leaned against the wall, forcing myself to breathe. I didn't want to, I didn't want to let it inside, but I knew it was going to get there anyway. It had been for months. "I'm like them," I gasped, "Like the girl and N-Nny and... and the maniac."

Zim nodded. "And many others! Psychic residue is not a problem exclusive to humans. You are aware of Irkens, but the universe is filled with different races of thinking, conscious beings and each race has developed their own method of coping with Residue. The Meekrob simply avoid thinking negative thoughts. The JubJars have such short lifespans that they allow the Residue to build up as they mate and lay their eggs, and then they simultaneously kill other in a fit of rage."

"And Irkens?"

"Thousands of years ago, when my race still reproduced naturally, we had what was called a Wastelock System- the same as humans. In a Wastelock System, a few were chosen to bear the burden for the greater good. They would absorb residue and keep it contained- they were locks to their respective cells, so to speak. Once they could take it no longer, they would destroy themselves as well as the bulk of The Residue that was linked to them, thus flushing The Residue into oblivion."

"Like a toilet?"

"Heh. Toilet. But yes! Taller Irkens could bear the burden longer, since they could hold more residue and thus became venerated for their sacrifices."

Sacrifices? Those weren't sacrifices; those were suicides. Those Irkens killed themselves to get rid of the residue inside them, just like the girl had when she hung herself. I shivered, remembering my conversation with Nny in the car. I don't think about much else, he had told me.

"On Irk, being a wastelock was a position of great honor," Zim continued, "Yet few wished for the responsibility. Besides the mental strain and the ultimate sacrifice, wastelocks dealt with another challenge. If the sacrifice was not made at the right time and the wastelock continued to absorb residue, something… unusual… could happen. In these rare cases, an extremely large mass of Residue would develop a consciousness of it's own and warp the wastelock's mind- causing them to become an unwitting servant rather than a jailer."

I snapped out of my thoughts. "Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"Exactly what I said. The wastelock would become nothing more than a puppet, feeding the residue with the suffering that it craved- causing it to grow larger and larger. And if that happened, if a mass of residue continued to feed without being flushed, it could become too large to be contained…"

"And then what?"

He shrugged. "In all of my research, I have never found a documented case of this happening. There were several close calls, but those wastelocks were discovered and killed before their residue masses could grow to that size. Fortunately, modern Irkens need not worry about residue at all. Humans still use a Wastelock System because your species is very primitive, but Irkens have developed far more advanced residue coping techniques. When we developed PAKs, they were integrated with an RFS- Residue Filtration System- to filter out residue and keep the wearer from going insane."

"So Irkens don't need wastelocks anymore?"

"Precisely! With built-in Residue Filtration System, Irkens have a unique advantage over of other species. Not only have we eliminated the need for wastelocks, but we can also ensure that our invaders won't be affected by the residue on other planets during their missions. It is a near perfect system!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Near perfect?"

Zim's eyes averted and he didn't speak for a few moments. "PAKs are mechanical," he said, after a while. "And all technology, as well as it may work, can be subject to… glitches, from time to time. PAKs are no different. Every day, hundreds of Irken smeets are cloned and activated so it's inevitable that some of them may receive a PAK that is… faulty, in some way. Irkens that receive faulty PAKs are called defects."

There was that word again. Defect. My stomach sank, though I wasn't sure why.

"So, what..." I hesitated. "... what happens to these defects?"

"It depends on the error. If it's a matter of replacing a faulty wire or a leaking battery, the defect can easily be repaired. But if the error is in their RFS, the issue is more serious. The RFS is a complex system and an Irken with a faulty RFS can be a danger to the entire empire."

"Because they go crazy?"

He said nothing. That look crossed over his face; it was the same look he had when he showed up on my porch in the rain that night that felt like years ago now. But he kept his gaze on the floor, like it hurt him to meet my eyes.

"Zim," I let my voice soften. "Why are you studying this?"

"Researching residue was… always hobby of mine, I suppose." He forced the words out of his throat. "I always noticed it, even when other Irkens could not. I didn't understand why they hadn't tried to harness its potential for doom! I never realized… it didn't occur to me that there was a reason nobody else thought about it. It was because they… they didn't feel it the way I did!"

I knew where this was going. I could see the thousand of intersecting red lines splayed across his face like scars. A defect.

He didn't meet my eyes. "The filtration system in my PAK works, but only in a limited capacity. It doesn't filter everything the way it is supposed to. I… I never noticed. The defect was so small, so insignificant and I never knew it was there. All of my life there has been a tiny stream of Residue infecting my brain like a slowly spreading poison…"

Over two hundred years… Images of Zim flashed through my mind. His maniacal laughing. The way he seemed to twist words in his mind to whatever suited him best. His bizarre, almost Wonderland-like logic. The screaming. The lust for destruction. The fire in his eyes. Over two hundred years of being driven to insanity.

Is that what I was going to become?

I gripped the console for support. I felt sick. When I looked up, I didn't see much of that insanity Zim's eyes now. He looked exhausted, like he had just returned from wandering the universe in search of a place to rest.

"But lately you seem more…" Sane was the word I wanted to use, but I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"You are correct. My mind feels clear at the moment."

"How?" I asked, desperate for a solution.

But then, I knew why. I considered grabbing the glasses out of Zim's hands, but what was the point? I already knew what I would see.

I would have seen the residue flowing from his mind into mine, like water rushing downstream.

The horrible truth crashed down on me. "You're using me as a sponge!" I shouted. "That's why you didn't want to split up for the project! You've been letting me absorb your residue so you can go around being happy while I naively soak up all of your madness!"

Zim glanced away. "That wasn't the only reason."

"So it was a reason then?!"

"My mind is always buzzing" His voice became pleading. "It doesn't rest! But when I am with you, everything is still. And when you leave, I… I can't think straight!"

"Zim-"

"I noticed it for the first time when you arrived at the lab a few days ago! It was… it was the way I was supposed to feel if my filtration system worked properly. I was disgusted! Disgusted that I needed you- my sworn enemy- to bring me peace! I wasted two months trying to fix this horrible defect to have just a glimpse of this sanity and you gave it to me within two minutes! That's shameful!"

My heart twisted at this. I understood more than I wanted to. In a few weeks, what would I do to have a moment of rest? The sudden similarity frightened me.

His voice shook when he spoke again. "It doesn't even matter! The damage has been done! I've had this defect my entire life! It has shaped everything that I am; it's the core of my personality! How could I ever repair that?!"

"You can't just give up," I said, in a vain attempt to comfort him. "First steps first, right? You have to fix the RFS before anything else. That can't be too hard! I mean, there's got to be some way to fix it!"

"There is! I know how to fix it with the schematics I got from Skoodge but I can't get around that STUPID containment protocol!"

"Containment protocol?"

"PAKs with the classification of defect are sealed!" Zim's words became faster and faster as he spoke. "Those security settings are the highest in the Irken Empire! I can't access ANY of the data on my PAK! I can't even upload my data to a new host! If you hadn't arrived when you did, I would be DEAD! No more Zim! NOTHING!"

"Okay," I tried to keep my voice calm and reassuring but his panic was beginning to make me jittery. "So why don't go home and have it repaired? They must have the technology to help you."

"I can't do that!"

"Why not, Zim? Just shove your pride up your ass and-"

"It is not a matter of pride, you stupid beast! It is because I can't! I'm a DEFECT!" The word bounced across the room. GIR, who had been tracing the tiles of the floor with a costumed hand reached up to tug at Zim's shirt questioningly. He didn't look down. "Were you not listening to my story?! Defects are errors and errors have no place on Irk! I'm BANISHED!"

"Zim, calm-"

"The Tallest have sealed my PAK and remotely disabled The Voot Cruiser! I'm STRANDED on this miserable planet! That's the entire reason they sent me in the first place!"

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"I wasn't sent here to conquer Earth!" His voice trembled. "The mission was a lie to keep me from going back! The Tallest… everyone… just wanted me gone so I wouldn't interfere in the real Operation!"

"Wait," His words made no sense. "Are you saying they don't want Earth?"

If I had been told that I might receive news like this about a week ago, I probably would have thought that it would be the greatest day of my life. But now, it hurt. All this time, I thought Earth was genuinely in danger from an extraterrestrial threat when in actuality we were only harboring one crazy alien who was the laughing stock of his own people?

I felt embarrassed for Zim, but also for myself. How much time and energy had I spent in what I thought was saving the world when I was really just humoring Zim's bizarre delusions? This wasn't a story about a brave hero stopping a dangerous invader from another world. We were nothing more than a paranoid little boy and a defective alien playing a game that only we took seriously.

And then, I hated Zim.

I hated him more than I had ever hated him before. I hated him so much I wish I had never even known him; I wished he had landed somewhere else and we had never met at all. I tried to tell myself I was being cruel. There were many things Zim could be blamed for, but this wasn't one of them. He hadn't actually lied to me and as much as I was hurt, the truth stung him far worse, so much worse that had just stood in the rain that night on the porch and didn't even care. The truth was: he was scared, alone and vulnerable.

But that wasn't what this was supposed to be! He was supposed to be scary; he was supposed be a monster for me to save everyone from!

Instead, he was the one who needed to be saved.

That stupid bastard.

"That's why you came to my house that night." I hardened my voice. "You were going to ask me for help."

He said nothing, but of course that said everything.

And that's when something snapped.

"Well, you know what?!" I rounded on him. "You were right not to ask me! I don't want to help you! I've got my own problems to worry about!"

He recoiled from my words, but the hurt quickly turned to anger. "That's cruel, human! Even for you!"

"Jealous, Zim?! Jealous that I get to kick you when you're down for once?!"

Then his eyes widened with realization. "I… I let my emotions get out of control! You've been absorbing my negative energy. And with the residue Nick produced earlier, you may be overwhelmed-"

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?!" I snapped. My voice was angry but I didn't feel angry. I felt… elated. Happy. I enjoyed this. "This is great! I always knew you were an idiot, but I never dreamed your whole empire knew it too! Were they laughing at you, Zim?! How does it feel to be the butt monkey of the universe for once?!"

"Dib, you are letting it control-"

"Nny said it would happen!" I laughed. So much elation bubbled up inside me, I thought I was going to be sick. "He was right! Think of all the times you hurt me, Zim! Now it's fair! An eye for an eye!"

"Nny?" Zim narrowed his eyes, "That sick human?! He's insane! I have never seen a bigger concentration of residue than the one I saw around him! Being near him is making your condition worse!"

"I don't care what you think, Zim! Nny is my friend and for once I actually have one of those! And hey, that's more than we can say for you, right?"

"Enough-"

"You're alone! There are billions of beings in the universe and none of them give a shit about you!" I stabbed him with my words, the way the maniac stabbed his victims. I wanted to stab him until he screamed and bled and died. "At least I have a family, Zim, but you?! Your entire race hates you! All you have is an empty house and couple of glitched robots! You're so alone that the only person you can turn to is your worst enemy! It's pathetic!"

He stood there, still and quiet, with a soldier's expression. Betray no pain. Betray no weakness. No, that wasn't going to work for me. I craved his pain. I craved his weakness. I needed it.

I came closer, until I was standing just inches from his face. "You're nothing, Zim! Don't you see?! You're so small! How could you ever believe they would have entrusted a naïve little bug like you with an entire planet?! If they did, they would have been stupider than-"

I felt a prick against the back of my neck. With a jolt of horror, I realized Zim had extended his PAK legs and now I was trapped like a cocooned fly being embraced by a spider.

"You are crossing a line, Dib." His voice was steady now. "Do not take our fight to a level you can never turn back from. Because if you do..."

The sharp tip pressed through the skin on the back of my neck like a needle through a vein. I shuddered in pain.

"... I promise I will finish it."

The joy, the elation- it all fled from my body, leaving me cold and shivering. I stood there, shaking, as the metal point burrowed into my flesh.

"You know what your problem is, worm?" Zim's voice was low and soft- and somehow that terrified me more than if he was screaming in my face. "You march forward like a martyr, looking down at everyone around you, thinking the universe is cheating you out of the respect that you so richly deserve. Do you think you're the only person who feels alone? Do you think you're the only person who understands what suffering is like?! You think you're a hero, but you're really just a selfish, pouting child! It's no wonder you became a wastelock- you're too busy chasing delusions to see how sick you really are!"

"I-" I started but then gasped as the point pushed in further.

"Now, " He continued, in an even voice. "You have made your feelings about me quite clear. And so, I would like you to leave. I will not be coming back to skool; we are no longer a group for this project. Never return here again. Do you understand?"

I didn't nod, afraid the needlepoint might rip my skin, but there must have been a confirmation in my expression.

"Good." He hissed. "Then get out of my sight!"

The pressure disappeared from my neck and I stood there for a moment, stunned, as I stared at him. His eyes burned with fury, but there was also something else there. The deep rift between us that - just minutes ago- I could have stepped across, now seemed to be a bottomless chasm no bridge could ever span.

"Zim-" I began.

"GET OUT!"

And I ran.

I ran out of the room and his last words chased me down the disorienting white hallway until somehow, someway, I stumbled back into the room with the elevator. The doors opened and I collapsed inside, falling to my knees as the platform jolted upwards.

As it sped past rooms and half-glimpsed hallways, the numb shock began to fade away. What had I just done? I felt like I was waking up from one of my nightmares. But as I sat there, trembling on the floor, I realized I had been rubbing the tiny spot on the back of my neck. When I looked down at my hand, I saw the blood on my fingers.

That's when I began to cry.

A/N: Dreamtime on Friday.