A/N: Thank you to all of you who've been reading this and commenting. It really means a lot to me. This is, unfortunately, the last chapter of this story. Thanks for taking the ride with me. I really enjoyed writing this, so I hope that all of you enjoyed reading it.
This chapter goes out to HyperFitched who's depictions of the Beautiful Bomb (as she calls Effy) and the fabulous Katie Fucking Fitch are simply brilliant and who created my absolutely favourite AU in Skins fandom. It also goes out to all of you who've taken this little journey with me. XOXO
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins or the characters, but I would have loved for this to happen if I did...
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Katie
Planning a party seemed like a good distraction. She hadn't factored in the amount of time that they'd spend together in the planning (although she suggests bringing Panda in to help as well, so at least there's a buffer, another presence, not to mention that she's really grown to love Pandora and her inane commentaries).
It's odd, too, having Effy letting her get her way. Fucking disturbing almost. Of course, Effy doesn't let her get everything. She puts her foot down at a wildlife theme. It would have been fun, too. Fucking creative, yeah?
Tony says he won't be there. "Not really my year. I'd feel out of place with no results to announce," he grins.
Katie knows it's just that he and Maxxie are going to a club, but whatever.
It's funny, she thinks, that he's the first guy she's been able to stay friends with after dating. Not like with Freddie. In theory, she supposes, she's still friends with Freddie, but there are too many emotions that well up in his presence. Stupid ones, at that. Besides, she never really liked him the way she liked Tony.
It's why she still questions, sometimes, if that all turned out right, them not being together now.
It was just, when Effy kissed her...Well, she fucking felt it, all right? And she knew that it wasn't just to shut her up or make her feel better. Not to Effy, at least.
And Tony...Tony was so fucking great about everything. She'd told him, in the end, about not being able to have kids, and he'd wrapped her in a hug and kissed her on the top of the head and let her cry into his shoulder. He'd been fucking perfect, really. Then, when she'd said that it was funny how his sister had kissed her on the lips when she'd told her, he just smiled a smile that had instantly made her think Effy. It was facial expressions like that that left little doubt that they were related.
"Right, so you're sure we need these decorations?" Effy breaks her out of her thoughts, holding up one of the gold coils that they're going to hang from the ceiling with one eyebrow raised.
"Fucking, yes, already! It's a black and gold theme. It'll be stylish, babes. You know, like classy and shit. We need to do something to transform your bloody living room."
Effy smirks, then shrugs. "Whatever you say."
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It really hits her, like truly fucking hits home, when she gets her results and the first fucking thought in her head is, I have to tell Effy! Not Emily. Not her parents. Not even fucking stuck-up Naomi to rub it in her face that she's not the only smart person around. No. Effy fucking Stonem. Girl who hit her in the head with a rock (though she never thinks of that when she sees her these days). Girl who she once blamed for ruining her life. That's who she wants to share her news with.
It scares the shit out of her.
She'd avoid her, really, except they've got this party, planned together, at her house, so she can't.
Besides, Effy calls her not fifteen minutes later.
''Well?"
Okay, so she's still not a brilliant conversationalist, she thinks. "Three B's."
"That's really great, Katie!"
It's when she sounds so genuine that it scares her the most. The sarcasm and the smirks she can handle, even when she catches Effy's eyes flicking down to her tits (and, well, at least the girl fucking recognises a nice pair of tits when she sees them), but when it's not that, that's when her looks carry far too much weight.
It's stupid, really, because she's finally got Effy as a friend. A real friend. It's the kind of friendship she's always really wanted and never really had. The only problem is: what if it's more?
"What about you?" Katie remembers to ask.
"A, B, C," Effy replies, sounding almost bored.
Katie's not fooled these days, though. "That's great!" The thing is, she is pleased for her. With all her time at the Stonem household of late, she's learned that things weren't exactly ideal this year. Or last year for that matter.
"Tony wants to buy us a celebratory, pre-party drink," Effy informs her.
"Yeah. Sounds good," she hears herself agreeing before she can think it through. And fuck it, really. They're fucking friends.
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"I heard about you standing up to my mum and dad," she volunteers. "About time you fucking did that, Campbell."
Effy had invited her over, of course, as if Katie didn't see her plenty at home.
Naomi sticks two fingers up at her. But she ignores it.
"That must have been...intimidating," Effy suggests with a smirk.
"You have no fucking idea," Naomi agrees. "Katie, your mum is one scary bitch."
"It's a family trait, so watch where you step. You fucking hurt her and I'll teach you a new meaning of pain."
Naomi snorts.
Not quite the reaction she was hoping for, but she had been half teasing, so she guesses it's all right. On the path they're on, it doesn't seem likely that she'll have to make good on that threat, anyway.
"What'd you say?" Effy asks, taking a sip of her almost clear rum and coke before casually leaning back and draping her arm over the back of the couch, right behind Katie's back.
Katie really wishes she wasn't quite so aware of it. It'd be easy to overlook the gesture, really, but she knows Effy well enough to know that everything she does has a purpose; nothing she does is by accident. It feels like a test.
She preferred it immediately after the kiss when Effy was the one who was more on edge, more cautious.
Katie leans back into the touch like it's nothing, like it doesn't make the hairs at the back of her neck stand up and butterflies flutter in the pit of her stomach. They're best friends, right?
Naomi starts recounting the conversation, and Katie's aware that she's being more open around her than she might normally be because Effy's there too, and they're definitely friends in their own right (not like Katie and Naomi who're still only really friends because of Emily).
By the time Naomi reaches the bit where she mentioned marriage, though, Katie's giggling uncontrollably. She can picture her mother's face and it's funny as hell.
Naomi's a good storyteller, too. Her facial re-enactments are hilarious. That's one thing she's actually come to appreciate about Naomi, other than the fact that she makes Emily ridiculously happy: she's quite funny when she wants to be (and not just in a 'that outfit's so hideous it's funny' kind of way). That and she makes delicious pancakes.
It's only when Effy leaves the room to make more drinks and Naomi turns to her with a knowing glint in her eyes and brings up everything that she's been trying not to think about, that she remembers why Naomi can also annoy the fuck out of her.
"It's not easy," she defends herself.
"Nothing worth it ever is," Naomi replies with a goofy grin on her face, and Katie just knows that she's thinking about Emily.
It's easy to forget that things between them weren't always easy (and more pleasant to forget that a big part of that was because of her). Still, this is a little fucking different.
When Effy glides gracefully back into the room moments later, all Katie can think is that she's fucking gorgeous without even trying.
It's funny how something can feel so easy and so complex all at once.
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Naomi's a fucking up herself, know-it-all cunt sometimes, but she's also right, Katie's aware. She does need to fucking figure it out. She'd never have thought, earlier in the year when things first went fucking tits up, that this would be what she'd be agonising about before going off to uni in London. (And unlike her sister and Naomi she was actually going to really be in London, thank you very much.)
There are two people she needs to talk to before she really decides anything, though.
She rings the doorbell and waits patiently, hoping that the right person answers the door.
Fortunately, he does.
"Don't say I'm here. Can we go somewhere?" she says before he can even open his mouth.
His brows furrow and his piercing blue eyes (eyes that are so fucking familiar and look at her in an oh-so-similar manner) stare at her, as if deciphering her thoughts. "Yeah, all right," he nods, lips quirking into a knowing half-smile.
He steps outside and drapes an arm around her as they walk away from the house with the red door.
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They go for coffee, sitting at an isolated table near the back at her insistence.
They chat idly for a bit, but then Tony fixes her with a look that looks so much like her that Katie can't not know that her time for carefree banter is over.
"So, you want to talk about my sister," Tony prompts.
Katie rolls her eyes. "Fucking Stonems. Is there a know-it-all gene that just got passed to all of you?"
Tony grins broadly. "Probably."
She sighs. Now that she's sitting here with him, she's not sure where to begin.
"You fancy her."
That's another thing about the Stonem family: they don't beat around the bush (when they're not playing cryptic mind games, that is). "Say it a little fucking louder, why don't you. I don't think they heard you in Berlin."
His grin only widens. "I fucking knew it."
Katie tilts her head back and pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing again. "Look, I know this is fucking awkward. And I'm not like sure or anything. And like, I know with our history, you're probably not like the best person to talk to about this, but you're also my friend, and you know her, so I just wanted to ask...things."
Tony's grin turns to a smirk.
"Sorry," she feels she should add, given that their break up isn't exactly ancient history.
"Well, I have to admit, it's the first time I've ever been dumped for my sister."
"I didn't...It was fucking mutual, wanker," she mutters, but it's affectionate, really.
"It was still for her," he points out.
It was. She really can't deny that. They both knew what that small kiss meant. She'd known it the instant it happened, even if she hadn't admitted to herself that it could be true until Tony had confirmed it when she'd told him.
"So what did you want to ask?" Tony asks, when she doesn't volunteer anything more.
"I don't know. Maybe this was a bad idea. I mean, given our history, and everything," Katie stalls. She knows she'll end up asking, but now that she's here with him, it doesn't seem like such a great idea.
"Katie, you may have been one of the best shags I've ever had, but I think I'll survive our break up even if you go on to marry my sister, yeah? I like you. And I love her. So ask."
She can't help but sit up a little straighter at the 'best shag' comment. The boy is a charmer, no doubt about that. She could have done without the 'marrying' bit, though. She takes a deep breath, readying herself to ask. "Are you sure, Tony? That she, you know, like, feels, whatever?"
Tony raises an eyebrow and gives her a look that says simply, 'Really?' "I'm not even going to answer that one. You know."
Katie sips on her coffee nervously before reluctantly nodding. She does know, even if she sometimes wishes she didn't. "But we're about to go off to uni."
Tony shrugs. "So?"
"In different cities."
"I think the real question, Katie, is how do you feel, and I can't answer that one for you," Tony says softly, reaching out and taking her hand from where it's restlessly picking at the cardboard of her disposable cup.
She sighs. It's one she's been trying and failing to answer as well. Truth is, she's too scared to answer it properly.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me that you haven't already looked up train times between London and Brighton."
She glances up and takes in the kind expression on his face, his blue eyes staring back at her knowingly. She can't tell him that and he knows it.
He smiles. "I think that's your answer."
They drop the subject, then, and Katie's glad to go back to talking plans for uni and about life in general, rather than Effy in particular.
It's not until he walks her home (or to Naomi's which has become home and will stay as such for another week and a half at least), that he brings it up again.
"She's scared, too, Katie. Something crazy about the two of you is you're both so easy to love, but neither of you seem to be able to see it. I hope that you can make her see it, Katie. You're good for each other, whether you know it or not."
She simply nods in response because she's at a complete loss for words.
He wraps her in a tight hug and kisses the top of her head. "See you soon," he murmurs.
"See you," she says against his chest, squeezing him in close just for a second. He's the best boy she's ever dated. Just figures that she'd decide she likes someone else better instead.
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She's not exactly looking forward to the idea of saying goodbye to her sister. Of course, it's not permanent. They're not even going to be living that far away from each other, for fuck's sake. Still, she's never lived more than ten minutes away from Emily, and that was only for two months anyway, before she moved in with Naomi too.
It just feels weird, knowing that Emily won't be just down the hall anymore, or even just down the street.
It's not even like they're that close anymore. They're not attached at the hip these days. That's Emily and Naomi.
Emily doesn't follow around in her shadow anymore.
They're still sisters, though. They're still twins. Nothing can ever really change that. She knows that now. She knows what Emily really meant when she said she'd never really leave her. They can't really leave each other. The simple truth is, in some ways, she will always know Emily best.
It's a two way street, of course, which is probably why Emily brings it up before she even has a chance to (and she was going to get around to it, but it's their last week together, so she was dealing with other things first).
"It's all right to like a girl, you know," Emily says as they're lying in her bed one day, talking about life and reminiscing about good times. "It's actually really fucking wonderful if it's the right girl."
"Did Naomi tell you? I swear to God I'll fucking-"
"Katie, I'm your sister."
And, yeah, she is. That's it, really, isn't it?
"I don't know if I even...I mean it's fucking Effy, yeah? What kind of a head case would I be if I liked the girl who almost killed me?" she argues.
"She didn't try to, though. Anyway, I've always thought you were a bit of a head case," Emily says fondly.
"Fuck off," Katie glares, elbowing her in the side before they both end up laughing.
"She really cares about you. You should give it a chance," Emily turns serious again.
"I don't know if I can," Katie replies. "I don't know if I'm strong enough."
"Katie, you're the strongest person I know," Emily counters, holding onto her face and looking her straight in the eye like they used to do when they were little and they wanted the other to know they were serious. "You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved."
"Do I?" Katie squeaks, her voice coming out small and weak.
"Of course you fucking do," Emily replies without even a second's thought, pulling Katie to her and holding her tight.
Katie doesn't want to cry, but with Emily she can't not. Her sister will always be able to get through to her, even when nobody else can. It's just how they work. She's got no barriers when it comes to Emily.
"I love you, Katie," she tells her in their stupid little invented twin-speak.
Katie replies in kind, holding Emily that much closer.
"And you love her, too."
They leave the subject there. Between sisters nothing more needs to be said, really.
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It's the last night before they leave. She's running out of time, and she knows it. She feels it like a weight sitting heavy on her chest. She can practically hear the seconds ticking away, slipping into the past and out of her grasp.
Maybe Effy's feeling it, too, because, as they sit on the hill looking out at the city they've called home for the better part of eighteen years (last ones standing; everyone else already gone home to bed except Panda who fucked off to St Andrews two days ago, the first to leave), Effy leans in, and Katie knows exactly what she's doing.
She can't, though, so she pulls back before their lips can touch.
There's a moment of silence before Effy leans back and looks away. "What are you afraid of?"
That's when it really hits her. It's not that she might not be straight. Besides, she's fairly certain that being attracted to the one girl that everyone in the world seems to want to shag doesn't actually mean she's gay, it just means she's normal.
The true answer is 'change', which is stupid because her life has done nothing but change all year, and she's about to move and have even more changes. Hell, her relationship with Effy has already changed so much from where it started. The thing is: what if it changes too much? What if this next change is the one that breaks them? She finally has the type of friend she's always wanted. She can't lose that.
She gives her the other answer, though, which is also true and less likely to get her laughed at. "Love. Happiness." It's a stupid answer, too, she knows.
Effy's eyes flash back to hers, though, and for a moment she sees fear reflected back at her, and stupid as her answer is, she knows Effy feels is too. Love's the one thing they both thought they'd never really have, and that neither of them's even sure they deserve. For a second, all of Effy's vulnerability is laid out before her, and she knows that she's not the only one who's scared of breaking.
Katie flashes back to a conversation she had with Panda what feels like fucking ages ago, about how sex or relationships or something aren't any good without friendship first. How otherwise things just get fucked up. Emily's always maintained that she and Naomi love each other better and things between them work so well because they're best friends, not just lovers.
Emily always was the smart twin.
"You're my best friend, Eff," she admits, realising that it's the first time she's ever actually said it aloud. It wasn't like she hadn't thought it, and it should be fucking obvious, even if they do still bicker, and, okay, maybe their relationship isn't a typical 'best-friend' relationship, but that's only because they challenge each other, and that can't really be a bad thing. Not if it makes her feel the way it does.
Effy's eyes are wide, though, and for once, Katie thinks that the all-seeing Miss Stonem might not know everything. Like what comes next, for starters, which means it's up to Katie.
"Right, then," she mutters to herself more than anyone else. She doesn't give Effy a chance to back out like she did. Instead, she reaches up to cup the back of Effy's head, pulling her in as their lips clash together. She swallows the surprised sound that escapes Effy's throat with her kiss, for once just letting the sensations wash over her and going with it.
Her entire body's on fire and her lips are tingling by the time she pulls away and looks Effy in the eye. "Right, so Brighton's only like an hour away from London by train. How about you come up the first weekend, and then I come down the weekend after that? Alternate and shit while we figure things out."
The smile that Effy gives her is wide and brilliant and, above all, genuine, and it sets her heart aflutter.
Best friends and lovers, she rolls the idea over in her head as she grins back. Yeah, she thinks, maybe that's how it's meant to be.
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When she's unpacking her room in the halls, making her bed (including tossing the leopard print throw pillow Naomi'd given her with a smirk onto it) and her phone vibrates with a message, she smiles.
Got here relatively safe.
She rolls her eyes and shakes her head, pressing send to call the number the text came from.
"Babes, you're going to have to work on this whole conversation thing if this is gonna work, yeah? A phone call goes a long way."
She hears Effy's faint chuckle travel down the line, and she doesn't question when her heart rate increases dramatically and butterflies suddenly appear in her stomach.
"Noted," comes the single word response.
Katie sighs. "So how many people fell in love with you on the trip down?" she asks, remembering with a touch of nostalgia the first day of college and the way that Freddie and Cook had already been drooling over her.
"Just one, but don't worry, I set him straight," Effy replies coolly.
"Oh? About what?" Katie inquires curiously.
"I just explained that I'm not in the market and not about to shag him," Effy informs her, and Katie loves that she can hear the smirk in her voice and can picture exactly what it looks like.
"Glad to hear it." Katie tugs open another box and finds a stack of photographs. She sets about fixing them to her wall by her bed, starting with one of her and Ems.
"Tony still there?" Effy asks.
"No. Once we unpacked the car he had to head off," she replies, tacking up a photo of her, Emily and James (one of the few shots of the three of them where he's not pulling a disgusting face). She'd been so thankful that Tony had offered to bring her down here, because, much as she loves her parents, she really did not want them bringing her to uni, and she (unlike Effy, who somehow managed to fit everything she thought she'd need into two suitcases) had too much shit to take it all on the train.
"Everything went smoothly, then?"
"Yeah," Katie assures her, picking up the next photograph. One that Tony had taken of her and Effy the day they'd gotten their results and he'd taken them out for coffee. She bites her lower lips as her thumb brushes over Effy's beautiful face. It's one of the rare pictures where she's actually smiling. Katie can't help thinking that they both look fucking fit in the photo.
"Good. Well, I better start unpacking," Effy says after a pause, and Katie knows that this has stressed her limited conversational skills already, but she scoffs anyway, "Yeah, cause that'll take long."
She lets her go, though, with a murmured, "Talk to you later, 'k?"
"Yeah. Later," Effy agrees before they hang up.
Katie stares at the photo in her hand a few moments longer, feeling a pang in her chest that she's vaguely aware she's probably going to need to get used to, what with them living in different cities.
As she tacks it up (near the head of the bed so she can see it at night when she's in bed), she can't help feeling like she's laying a new foundation. This one's stronger than the last, made so by the simple fact that she's not doing it alone.
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The fireworks explode above them, illuminating their faces with greens, reds, and golds. They don't know the occasion, but they don't especially care. They're just taking in the show as they lie in the grass, hand in hand.
Katie turns and takes in Effy's face as a particularly bright white firework lights up the sky. It's simply breathtaking the way the light plays over her skin and lights up her eyes so they're practically surreal in their blueness.
They lie on the grass and watch until the fireworks stop shooting up into the sky and the lingering smoke begins to clear revealing the stars shining down on them from overhead.
"I like watching the stars," she says. It's the first time she's shared that with someone besides Emily, and she's glad that it's Effy.
"Yeah, me too," Effy replies, edging closer in the grass so that their whole arms are touching now.
Katie draws her in closer, relishing the heat that her body provides. She feels her own body heat up at the mere thought of what Effy's body might do to her when they get back to Effy's room (or what she might do to Effy for that matter).
For now, though, lying here on her back beside her girlfriend, she's content to watch the stars twirl and blink above them.
She sees a star dart across the sky, a small blazing trail of white light millions of trillions of light-years away, but tonight she has no burden that needs lifting and no wish to send off on its tails. Tonight her world is right side up and she is loved and she loves in turn. She points it out to Effy, who smiles, and then they lie back to watch the stars dance.